May 15, 2007 UC Families (Balancing Academic Careers and Family) Newsletter Circulation: 995 Moderator: Karie Frasch email: ucfam@lists.berkeley.edu Website: http://parents.berkeley.edu/ucfamilies Post a Message or a Reply: http://parents.berkeley.edu/post_ucfam.html MODERATOR NOTE: The first UC Families newsletter was sent out two years ago this month. It began with a couple hundred BPN subscribers who expressed interest in receiving this new newsletter with a focus on balancing academic careers or goals with family life. Subscribers posted questions on such topics as managing work and family responsibilities, making career choices, planning the optimal time to start a family, childcare and work issues, progressing academically as a student parent, returning to academia after a baby, and advocating for flexible work arrangements. We now have about 1,000 subscribers across the UC system (and others outside UC who want a forum for these topics) and sufficient numbers of postings to send out newsletters approximately twice per month. However, the name ‘UC Families’ confuses people – some think that it is just a separate newsletter for people with families who are associated with UC in some way. Therefore, starting with this newsletter, we’d like to try renaming the newsletter ‘Balancing Academic Careers and Family’ to better delineate the purpose and scope of UC Families from the greater Berkeley Parents Network. Everything else will remain the same. Please let us know if you have any feedback or thoughts on this change, or suggestions about the newsletter. And keep posting! Thanks for your continued support of this newsletter, Karie ----------------------------------------- * Contents ----------------------------------------- New Postings *Considering move from Stanford to Cal *UC childcare vs. others *Spouse to a doctoral candidate *Repost: Considering Law School *Repost: Childcare funding support for off-campus care Responses *Crisis of Faith - in a Career, that is Media *”Paycheck or Reality Check?” New members ----------------------------------------- * New Postings ----------------------------------------- Considering move from Stanford to Cal ------------------------------------------- I'm being recruited to move to an administration position at Cal, my alma mater. It would largely be the equivalent of what I'm doing now at Stanford. I have a few strong reasons to think about such a move (e.g., loyalty to my alma mater, a personal preference for public institutions, my mentor and several favorite faculty are still there, etc.). However, I'm also ambivalent for a few other reasons and would love to hear from others who have been in my situation or who just have advice. A few of the disadvantages of moving, in my mind, are: 1. I have an 11 month old daughter in the on-campus daycare at Stanford. She loves it there, the site is incredibly convenient for us, and I worry about trying to find a good place up at Cal given the limited on-campus places and my lack of familiarity with other centers. For a number of reasons, I don't want her in a home daycare and there are no NAEYC centers near our home. This is by far the most important issue, even though I know I am sacrificing significant career prospects by placing a priority on positions that can accommodate my daughter's schedule and daycare placement. 2. I've already proven myself here and have significant goodwill, sick leave, and vacation leave built up. I know I can negotiate similar flexibility/benefits at Cal, but I'd feel much more pressure to put in the face time and work extra hours in a new workplace. 3. Stanford has tremendous resources that I know my dept. at Cal will have trouble matching. I've had the freedom to pursue a lot of new programs and am not entirely sure what I will face at Cal. This is one of the least important factors for me, though, as I realize it's the reality of wanting to work for a public institution. 4. Even though we live in the East Bay (southern Alameda county), it's easier for me to get to Stanford as we take back roads to the Dumbarton, as opposed to negotiating 880. I would love to try to BART up with my daughter, but am unsure how easy that is to do with all the bundles/bags we'd need (e.g., diapers, clothes, food, breast pump, etc.). Any insight/advice would be appreciated! Anonymous UC childcare vs others? ------------------------------------------- Hi I'm a staff at UC and am currently researching infant childcare. I was wondering if someone has updated information regarding UC Childcare, its costs, vs other infant childcare around Berkeley/Albany area. Many people also highly recommend St Johns but I was unable to find info on its cost. My biggest concern right now is cost. $1500 per month is really high for me. thanks anon Spouse to a doc. candidate ------------------------------------------- My husband and I have been married for 7 years and have a 7 month old baby. We met each other as undergrads and graduated at Berkeley.My husband has been a doctoral candidate for the last 9 years and is no where near completing the table of contents to his dissertation. He has tried coordinating a dissertation study group on Berkeley campus but after the first couple of meetings, people eventually flake/drop out leaving him back to square one.Does anyone know if there are any dissertation study groups that my husband can join? Or can anyone suggest some advice to getting back in gear to writing? He wants to start somewhere but has difficulty doing it on his own. Repost: Considering Law School ------------------------------------------- I’m a single parent of a 12 year old, considering returning to school, probably law school. My main question right now is if it will really be possible to finance it? I’m fine with taking out massive loans, but I just cant tell how to figure out if I can make it. I wouldn’t be able to work, because of my son's special needs, and would just want to go full time. I did it, as an undergrad, when my son was young and made it fine with grants, scholarships, loans and welfare. But now that I’m earning more (staff at UCB), I am questioning my ability to support myself and my son solely on financial aid. Anyone with personal experience with this? Or with suggestions of where I might be able to get more information? Emily Repost: Childcare funding support for off-campus care ------------------------------------------- Hi, I'm wondering if anyone knows about any child care funding support for children receiving child care at an off-campus facility. I am a parent of a pre-school child in child- care in the L.A. area (South Pasadena). I will be beginning a PhD program at UCLA in Fall 2007 and want to access any funding support available. We will not be moving to the UCLA campus but rather plan to remain in South Pasadena, and continue our child care there. Thanks. --------------------------------------------- Responses --------------------------------------------- Original post: Crisis of Faith - in a Career, that is ------------------------------------------- I'm an Asst. Professor with 2 small children. Today I'm going through one of those crisises of the career life. I had a manuscript rejected. I think it's really important work, but the reviewers just didn't get it. I've taken time off w/ my kids and am back at 100% now, but feel a lot of pressure to catch up w/ papers and national recognition and all the aspects of the career. As junior faculty, there's a lot of time spent on activities and setting up projects that really have nothing to show for them. Yesterday I was home w/ my 3 yr old, who had no school. We didn't have to rush anywhere, I spent some quality time w/ him and we did a bunch of errands. It was nice. Today he didn't want to go to school. Why did he have to? I see some behavioral issues in my kids and I see them behind where they could/should be in some academics - How much harm is being in school & daycare all day causing? I recognize this is a common problem. Any thoughts on how to work through these feelings? I love my work and I love my kids. I feel I have no role model for how to do this right. I'd love to be a super parent - great at my job and great w/ my kids, but know that's impossible. How do you set limits appropriately and maintain a good level for both? What resources exist for this? And really, specifics are better than vague statements - i.e. here's a website that lists good, cheap, healthy food, delivered to you or easy to buy premade, here are jobs you should skip, whether at home or work, here are things you should make sure you do, even if you sacriface work or home., etc. Here's a good way to say no to your senior colleague, without looking like a total slacker. :) (Oh, and like most of you, I imagine, we have no family in the area, and are a 2 professional parents family.) Searching for the happy balance reply: crisis in faith ------------------------------------------- I totally understand what you are going through and have experienced some of the same concerns and problems. One major factor that you need to consider is whether or not there is an equitable division of labor between you and your partner in taking care of your family. One of the most important allies you have in your struggle to be a good (and happy) working mom is your partner. Too often women, and especially academic women, are left with the lion's share of work to be done at home. As academics, our time appears to be more ''flexible'' than the 8-6 workday that is typical amongst other professionals, and frequently partners assume that just because we are not in the classroom, we don't have work to do. Decide how many hours you need each week to meet your teaching and research goals and work out a schedule with your partner. You should have as much time to dedicate to your work as she/he does for his/hers. Split cooking, cleaning (or better, hire someone), paying bills, grocery shopping, etc. FAIRLY AND EVENLY. For example, my husband does the grocery shopping for our household each week while my daughter naps. This gives me at least two hours on Saturday and Sunday to grade papers, deal with administrative tasks, etc. Without this extra time, I would be under unbearable pressure during the week. In the evenings, if I need to do work, he helps out with dishes and cooking. If he has to work too, then the dishes wait until the following day. We both have careers that require at least 55 hours a week of work, but still spend all day Saturday and Sunday with our daughter. This wouldn't be possible if he did not regard housework, laundry, cooking, etc. to be as much his responsibility as mine. Sit down with your partner and go over the various things that need to be done and divide up the duties according to preference/ability. Your children will benefit from exposure to an equitable as well as loving relationship. Next, I would recommend attending the Provost's meetings on going up for tenure. There you will get a clear sense of what counts towards tenure and what does not. Committee work rarely helps one's tenure case. You need to be a good colleague, but you also have to protect yourself. Request a committee position with a time committment that comes a moment during the academic year when you have a bit of extra time. Do not organize conferences or do any other work that doesn't contribute to your tenure case. You need to focus on publishing and teaching. Publishing is extremely important and you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to your research. To do this, make sure you schedule in specific times during the week that you can commit to your research. Be extremely protective of this time. In terms of teaching, be sure to type up and save all lectures and course materials so that when you repeat a course, your prep time will be minimal (i.e. set aside time to improve lecture mateials, hand outs, etc.). Definitely repeat courses. happy working mom ----------------------------------------- Media ----------------------------------------- “Paycheck or Reality Check?” By Susanna Ashton. The Chronicle of Higher Education: Chronicle Careers. May 10, 2007. http://chronicle.com/jobs/news/2007/05/2007051001c/careers.html (subscription required) --------------------------------------------------------------------- - Post a message * http://parents.berkeley.edu/post.html - Subscribe, Unsubscribe, Address Changes, Help * http://parents.berkeley.edu/subscribers.html