January 25, 2006 UC Families Newsletter -- A new online newsletter and resource for faculty, staff and students at University of California campuses who are balancing academic goals or careers with family life. As with other newsletters of the Berkeley Parents Network, the life of the newsletter depends on people posting questions, comments, or suggestions and others responding or posting their own. Circulation: 602 Moderator: Karie Frasch email: moderator_ucfam@parents.berkeley.edu Website: http://parents.berkeley.edu/ucfamilies Post a Message: http://parents.berkeley.edu/post_ucfam.html ---------------------------------------------- Contents ---------------------------------------------- *Responses Original post: Balancing parenting kids with care for older parents *New postings Budgeting for baby Two young kids, a partner, and a career, sort of From UCSF job to UCB job Getting SHIP (Blue Cross) to cover a home birth Issues about balancing career with adolescent Summer programs *Recent news/media Elder Care and Your Career: How to Balance Elder Care and Your Career Bringing up baby on a budget: The cost of raising a newborn through age 5 is daunting, but you can trim the baby fat from your spending *New members Since 1/9/06 ---------------------------------------------- *Responses ---------------------------------------------- Original Post: Balancing parenting kids with care for older parents ----------------------------------------------- First, I want to say how thrilled I am that this newsletter resource has started. There’s no other place on campuses where people can get advice or share ideas with one another about topics that are relevant to parents, or speak of difficulties in their department or with their job. And be entirely anonymous if they want to. Thanks. I would love to hear from other parents who are juggling the needs of elderly parents with day-to-day life and parenting. Because I waited to have children until my late 30s I now have school-age kids and old parents at the same time. My parents live on the east coast so I am forever trying to figure out when I can head out there and for how long. And whether to try to get them to move closer to my family so I can play a more active role in their care. But I don’t know how I could manage to spend more time than I already do! What kinds of situations do others work with? What kinds of problems and solutions have people figured out? - Laura Response: Elderly parents and kids at the same Time ------------------------------------------- I just wanted to speak as the kid of one of those situations. I grew up next door to my grandmother, and near the other grandparents. Nice for me, and for my siblings. Starting when I was in high school my mother became more and more responsible for the care of all three elderly relatives --- frankly, the stress helped shorten her life. All three would have been happier in assisted care than dependent on her, but no decision was made until they were too frail to go into a care situation that would have kept them socially connected to friends and culture, and with some degree of independence. Moving your folks out here may not be best... or it may. Honoring your parents means helping them make good decisions, for themselves...but not always becoming the care-giver. For some families it works, but beware the price you (and your husband and kids) will pay if its NOT the right choice. Not worried about my mother getting old (sigh) ---------------------------------------------- *New postings ---------------------------------------------- If you have advice, comments, or feedback please post a response message: http://parents.berkeley.edu/post_ucfam.html Budgeting for baby ------------------------------------------- Hi all - my spouse and I are expecting our first baby - due in April and are trying to figure out how much everything is going to cost - both before and after the baby arrives. I have Blue Cross for the prenatal and delivery. Does anyone have an idea of your out-of-pocket expenses for the prenatal and birth charges? How about for the costs of the baby during the first year? Kristen Two young kids, a partner, and a career, sort of ------------------------------------------------ Hello – I’m wondering how people manage to move forward and continue with their career once the second baby arrives? I have a 3-year-old and a 2-month-old and a staff career that is currently stalling. How do people balance everything? Will my partner and I ever see each other besides at the changing table? Sometimes it seems like insanity. From UCSF job to UCB job ------------------------------------------- How does it work when you work for one UC campus and then get a job at another in terms of maintaining your service credit, accumulated vacation leave and sick leave, etc.? If I were to go from UCSF to a different job at UCB, how would I ensure that there was no break in service (plan would be to stop job on Friday at one campus and start on Monday at the other)? What would I, as the new employee at UCB, need to do (if anything) and when to make sure nothing fell through the cracks? Does HR automatically take care of such things? can't risk a break in service or any mess ups Getting SHIP (Blue Cross) to cover a home birth ------------------------------------------- I've just been told by the UC student health insurance office that, while they have no problems covering a midwife as an out-of-network provider, they won't cover any expenses related to a home birth. So, my prenatal care is fine, but the birth will not be covered. My midwife, who charges a single fee for prenatal and birth services, says that there's no problem, since the home birth carries no fees itself; all fees are only for *care*, and have nothing to do with where the care occurs. That logic makes sense to be, but I'm afraid it won't make sense to Blue Cross. (My insurance is the UC Student Health Insurance Plan, a Blue Cross Prudent Buyer plan). I'm concerned that Blue Cross will kick back the claim, saying that since the birth was at home, they won't pay for any of the care. Has anyone tried to get a home birth covered under SHIP? Or has anyone successfully gotten a company with a similar policy to cover a home birth? Will just not telling them where I have the baby work? I've got 8 months to try to make this work, so any advice on tactics to take (or avoid) will be much appreciated. anonymous for now Issues about balancing career with adolescent ---------------------------------------------- Hi UC Families, I have a daughter who is 10 years old. So far, things with her have been pretty easy and predictable, and now that she is older it’s much easier to do things as a family, and plan our lives. What I’m wondering is, for those of you who have teenagers, either now adolescent, or recently there, what kinds of challenges/potential stresses await us? My wife and I are both heavily entrenched in our careers and we wonder what we may have to put on the back burner for a few years to help our daughter if she needs it (though she is right now a good student and well adjusted). Thanks. Dad thinking about adolescence Summer programs ------------------------------------------- I am looking for a volunteer program this summer for my soon to be 16 yr old son. Would like him to work with less fortunate people either in or out of the US and preferably a Spanish speaking area. Any suggestions? Kay ------------------------------------------ *Articles/media ------------------------------------------ -- feel free to post comments or discussion points about any of these, or offer new ones - http://parents.berkeley.edu/post_ucfam.html Elder Care and Your Career: How to Balance Elder Care and Your Career http://careerplanning.about.com/od/balancingworkandfamily/a/elder_care.htm Bringing up baby on a budget: The cost of raising a newborn through age 5 is daunting, but you can trim the baby fat from your spending Consumer Reports, June 2005 http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/babies-kids/the-cost-of-raising-a-baby-605/overview.htm --------------------------------------------------------------------- - Post a message * http://parents.berkeley.edu/post.html - Subscribe, Unsubscribe, Address Changes, Help * http://parents.berkeley.edu/subscribers.html