November 29, 2005 UC Families Newsletter -- A new online newsletter and resource for faculty, staff and students at University of California campuses who are balancing academic goals or careers with family life. As with other newsletters of the Berkeley Parents Network, the life of the newsletter depends on people posting questions, comments, or suggestions and others responding or posting their own. Circulation: 519 Moderator: Karie Frasch email: moderator_ucfam@parents.berkeley.edu Website: http://parents.berkeley.edu/ucfamilies Post a Message: http://parents.berkeley.edu/post_ucfam.html ---------------------------------------------- Contents ---------------------------------------------- *Welcome *Responses Children and conferences *New postings Help! Pregnant and on the academic job market! Staff person with new baby and full-time working husband Cal Health Plans and Fertility services *Posted again Health care reimbursement account *Recent news University’s Glass Ceiling Get a Life! *New members Since November 9th ----------------------------------------------- *Welcome ----------------------------------------------- Dear UC Families Subscribers, If this is the first newsletter you are receiving, the newsletter works by subscribers posting comments, questions, discussion topics, or current events to the list (these can be anonymous if desired). The moderator then compiles them, along with responses to past postings, and sends out regular newsletters. This is a great opportunity for faculty, staff, and students to post comments about addressing their academic work and family experiences, both positive and negative, and to get advice or suggest recommendations. It is our hope that it will also lead to more awareness of policies and programs, and ultimately further change the culture of the UC system to become more family friendly. We have subscribed 44 members to the newsletter since the last digest was sent out, and continue to receive requests each day. Please continue to pass on the word. ---------------------------------------------- *Responses ---------------------------------------------- children and conferences ------------------------------------------- I have to go to a conference about once a year and what worked really well for us was for me to take my son with me to Ohio, drop him off with his grandparents, then continue to Boston. The University reimburses me for whatever the cost would be for me to go straight to the conference myself, and the grandparents help defray the cost of the rest. Everybody wins! I get to go to my conference, my stay at home husband gets a baby break, my son gets drooled on and spoiled by his grandparents and aunts and uncles, and the grandparents are guaranteed a chance to see their grandson (who lives SO far away) once a year. ED conferences with children ------------------------------------------- It is indeed important to attend conferences, and I think also that sometimes non-academic partners don't seem to understand this importance and how extra work may be required to help with the partner's career. This is not about a pleasure jaunt (though as the original poster admits, one can derive some energy from having a little time away from home and kids), nor is it possible to treat a conference like a family trip or pleasure jaunt (bringing a child is really not feasible, as the poster experienced). My husband resisted my attendance of conferences rather rigidly when our son was small, but I believe mostly because it was not convenient or pleasant for him to have full-time childcare duties. I caved to his pressure, but now would do things differently. I think that a talk about how important conference attendance is for your career is key. The number of conferences to be attended within a given year, the amount of money to spent on them (invariably some personal funds seem to be necessary), and the length of stay for each can be discussed and negotiated, always keeping in mind that you MUST attend some conferences. Someone can be hired to pick up and sit for children if the partner's work schedule won't allow for that. Also if the partner feels burdened by the extra childcare duties, s/he can hire help or arrange for playdates during the conference. Guilt trips for going to conferences are right out. Cooperation and mutual support are in. If the partner seems to be in need of some time away occasionally to parallel what is perceived as ''off time'' for the conference goer, that might be negotiated as well. But staying at home while your (let's face it, often childless or male) colleagues are forging networks is not an option. Remember how hard you worked for your Ph.D.? I thought you did... going to conferences now ---------------------------------------------- *New postings ---------------------------------------------- If you have advice, comments, or feedback please post a response message: http://parents.berkeley.edu/post_ucfam.html Help! Pregnant and on the academic job market! ---------------------------------------------- I’m in my last year of a graduate program in the humanities and am on the job market for next fall. I’ve been successful as a student in terms of publishing and teaching, and consider myself a strong candidate for a tenure track position. I just found out a couple of months ago that I’m pregnant (due next June) and don’t know how I should handle my interviews and negotiations. I don’t want to lessen my chances of landing a good job but I do want to know if potential departments will be accommodating to my new family. Help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Pregnant and starting to show! Staff person with new baby and full-time working husband ---------------------------------------------------- Hi, I’m on staff at UCLA and have a four-month-old baby. I’ve been in my current department for nearly ten years and am happy with my work. I recently came back to work after taking three months off to be at home with the baby. I thought that the time would be enough, but am having a VERY hard time balancing the time demands of my job with taking care of my son. And lack of sleep! My husband’s job is full-time and rather inflexible. My job is also full time, though I’ve been trying out an alternative schedule by going in to the office very early in the morning. Does anyone else out there have experience with working while your baby is young, and any thoughts about how to make it work successfully? I’m not sure I can last a lot longer and I miss my son. I’ve thought about quitting altogether but, somewhat guiltily, I feel like I love my work too. Cal Health Plans and Fertility services ---------------------------------------------- I'm a new employee at UC Berkeley and I was hoping to get some advice about the best doctors / fertility coverage for UC Berkeley medical plans. I'm having difficulty deciding what would be best. Has anyone had experience with fertility services for: Pacific Care, BlueCross PPO, BlueCross Plus, or Healthnet? I've had experience with Kaiser Oakland and really don't want to return there, despite the level of coverage they offer. We've done everything up until insemination with them, and just aren't pleased with their lack of individualized attention to our case. I'm told Dr. Richard Chetkowski is brilliant and he's within Healthnet, but only through Bay Valley group. Chetkowski is in Berkeley, but all of the other Bay valley doctors seem to be in Hayward/Fremont area which could be a pain because we live in Oakland. PacifiCare covers the standard 50% but I haven't heard much about their fertility doctors. Does anyone have any advice? I'm 33, almost 34 and the clock is ticking. I REALLY want to conceive. It has been so awful, 2 years have passed and we are still childless. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. ---------------------------------------------- Posted again – no responses first time around ---------------------------------------------- Health Care Reimbursement Account ------------------------------------------- I signed up for the first two years that HCRA's were available to UC employees, and I've sat out this third year. The Reason: it takes too much time to deal with the paperwork if you have let say less than $1000 per year in reimburseable expenses. The tax advantage doesn't outweigh the effort needed to get it. Are there others out there with a similar/differing opinions? Liz ------------------------------------------ *Recent articles ------------------------------------------ -- feel free to post comments or discussion points about any of these, or offer new ones - http://parents.berkeley.edu/post_ucfam.html 1. University’s Glass Ceiling Editorial, San Francisco Chronicle, November 25, 2005 Editorial about the representation of women among administrators at the University of California. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/11/25/EDG6MFSPHT1.DTL&type=printable 2. Get a Life! Jody Miller and Matt Miller, Fortune Magazine, November 28 issue Working 24/7 may seem good for companies, but it's often bad for the talent --and men finally agree. So businesses are hatching alternatives to the punishing, productivity-sapping norm. http://www.fortune.com/fortune/careers/articles/0,15114,1130752,00.html --------------------------------------------------------------------- - Post a message * http://parents.berkeley.edu/post.html - Subscribe, Unsubscribe, Address Changes, Help * http://parents.berkeley.edu/subscribers.html