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2008 BPN Nanny Survey: Comments about Duties & Policies
Please Note! BPN is now a 501(c)(3) non-profit and has moved to a new website: BerkeleyParentsNetwork.org
"All of my "no" responses above are generally permitted with my advance notification and permission."
"All of the above things I checked "ok" to are fine in moderation. If she has to take a call or do an errand while with my child that is fine with us."
"All of the items for which I've checked "OK" are okay only in moderation. For example, I certainly don't prohibit short phone calls but extended conversations, except in certain situations, wouldn't be acceptable. I certainly wouldn't deny short errands, either because some personal business can only be taken care of at certain times of the day. Most of the above don't apply to my current nanny (my daughter keeps her busy the 16 hours she's with us!). However, when we employed a full-time nanny when my daughter was younger, my daughter learned so much from their trips to the grocery store, friends' homes and gardens(not playdates), and local merchants. When our former nanny (now like family) visits, my daughter looks forward to their walks to The Elmwood and visits to the various merchants they used to visit(to buy phone cards at the cell phone store, chocolate and turkey sandwiches at A.G. Ferrari's, muffins at Nabalom, etc.) on their walks home from Willard Park or the ! library."
"All of these things are okay, but only because my nanny has been with us for almost 4 years and I trust her absolutely to have my children be her main priority while she is working. If she needs to go to the post office (or whatever) while she is working, that's fine. I know that she keeps these things to a minimum. If I was working with a new person, most of these things would not be okay."
"All of this is okay in small doses, and because she is who she is (fabulous and with great judgement); with someone else, i would have more rules."
"Almost all of the things you list are ok, with prior approval. Any visits with others would have to be approved of ahead of time."
"Although she's not bad with kids, she's definitely not the person I would like to watch my child if it were for many more hours. She only plays with my son for a few minutes and only every time I ask. She doesn't have good kid psychology. She calls me at work when he doesn't want to eat or misbehaves... Most of the time she's here, my son's sleeping. so, the fact that she's punctual is very important to me."
"As long as the errands run or visits to friends are on the "approved list." e.g. no visits to Target, but visits to grocery store to buy apples fine. no visits to random persons house, but to good friends house where there is a worthwile activity ok - for example seeing someones pet, greenhouse, garden, art studio."
"as long as the nanny tells me ahead of time, i would generally be ok with her doing things that were out of the ordinary (e.g. if she left her wallet at home or needed to run a critical personal errand)."
"As long as we know about above, and they're not a regular occurence (just as-needed), we're fine about it."
"Aside from cell phone calls, she always clears the other OK things with me in advance."
"because our nanny is part time, not many of these things is necessary."
"Care takes place at the other family's house, so I don't think she does any of these things- spends the day in the park."
"errands or shopping was limited to smaller errands that would not take up extensive time of the time children should be 'entertained', like 15-30 min. was okay. Being on the phone is okay, but again, only if it is not excessive, and of course no long distance from our home phone. TV is too noisy and would wake the second child in the share."
"for personal errands, our nanny has a bunch of "down time" each day, when kids are in school. she can do her errands during that time, without me complaining."
"Generally no napping while my child naps during the day, but okay in evening. I am okay with nanny bringing her 6 year old daughter along."
"Her cousin is also a nanny and at times, they meet at the park which is ok."
"Her primary job is to take care of the baby. She can do what she wants while she sleeps, but she generally does the laundry and dishes and cleans up. Then, she can talk on the phone or other things."
"I allow personal calls because I know she does not spend much time at all on the phone. If she were chatting a lot (like I see some nannies do in the park), I would get another nanny. I also allow her some leeway to do her own personal errands while on duty because I know she will not abuse the privilege."
"I am a stay at home mom. So, I take my son out for playdates and clases a lot. So, she has many breaks during the day and I also help to take care of my son when I am home."
"I am okay with all of the above because she never takes advantage (e.g. naps, t.v., talking on the phone, etc.)"
"I don't love that she spends so much time on her phone, but I know that she's going through some complicated personal situations and I choose not to make an issue out of it. In general, we're just flexible and understanding with each other. We never discussed any of these as "policies," they're just an understanding that has worked well for us in an informal way."
"I don't think any of the above really happed (other than brief personal phone calls), but in moderation, with prior approval would have been OK"
"I have allowed all of these and found I do not really like the kids being taken to their house, or them visiting with their friends whom I do not know. I will no longer be allowing it. Also, I have not discussed the whole napping while the kids nap thing. My husband says I would need a nap too - but I resent paying them to nap while I work."
"I think it is OK for the nanny to take an hour break while child is napping-- at that time cell phone and TV is OK, But past an hour, the nanny should be helping around the house."
"I think it's fine if my nanny takes personal calls but it should be in moderation. I don't believe she should be have a 2o minute conversation chatting with a girlfriend while she watches my child. A 5 minute conversation, on the other hand, would be exceptable."
"I think that the above questions are misleading because any of the above actions are reasonable if they are rare. I know that my nanny has the judgement to do most of these only in extreme circumstances, so I don't think it is appropriate to forbid any of these. For example, I think she has napped once at my house because she wasn't feeling well. Has taken my son with her to buy a birthday card once, but told me about it ahead of time and I was fine with it. I sometimes see her answer her phone with my son present, but she would never talk on it for lengthy periods."
"I trust my nanny completely to put my child's needs first, so while it's hard to imagine her even doing things for herself while working, I'd be ok with her doing most of the above if she should decide that for some reason it made sense."
"I trust my nanny's judgement on the items checked above. If any of them interfere with caring for my children, we would discuss it. For example, if she stops to pick up milk while she's driving my kids around, no big deal. If she takes them somewhere all day for her benefit, and not my children's that would be problematic. Most calls in her cell with her friends are brief and involve making a quick plan, but if she gabbed all day that would be another story."
"I walked in one day and she had the TV on so I just hide the remote when she comes. I find that she will do housekeeping if I request, but she doesn't look for it."
"I would have no trouble with the nanny taking my child to her house, except that there is a smoker in that house. I do not want my child exposed to cigarette smoke."
"I've never thought about most of the things in that list because they've never come up. Our nanny has 20 years of experience working for many different families (usually in share situations) and she seems to have developed her own professional style -- i.e., she hardly ever eats our food even when we encourage her to do that. She's very careful to ask before doing something that she isn't sure we would like, even after 6 years of working for us."
"In general we are ok with occasional personal calls or errands, but our nanny rarely does this and when she does, she asks if we are OK with her doing an occasional errand that cannot be accomplished during her non-work hours. We would be fine with our nanny taking our child to her home or for her to nap while he does, however she hasn't done that. We are fine with her watching TV, too, but again, she chooses not to do that."
"In terms of the above "policies," we have never worked out an official do and don't list because our nanny has always been very respectful of her time with the kids. She does household things that go above and beyond our expectations and in return, we trust that she uses sound judgement when it comes to her needing a "break" during the kids naps, etc. I can say she rarely does something like watch tv or nap. And on the rare occasion when she needs to run an errand or take care of something at her own home, she always asks permission."
"It is okay for our nanny to take breaks, watch tv or whatever but she simply never does so. Her personal calls are very short. She takes my child to play with her similarly aged grandchildren which I think is great for everyone - our child gets to play with other kids and see her nanny in her "real life"."
"It is our policy to allow our child care provider to take care of personal business and run her personal errands, etc. because we have a trusting relationship, and I believe she would not abuse any priviledges (for example she would not talk on the phone all day unless it was a genuine emergency)."
"It would be ok if she watched TV, but she never does. However, she does use our computer and the internet. She makes calls while the babies are asleep which is fine with me."
"It's okay if once and a while (say, twice or three times a year), her child accompanies her to work while she's caring for our child."
"Its easy to say I'd be OK with these things because they rarely happen. If any of these (except napping) became the rule rather than the exception, I'd have a problem."
"Many of the above situations aren't black and white. i.e. I trust our nanny's judgment. She will, for instance, occasionally answer cell phone calls while watching the kids but is never on the phone for more than a minute or two. Likewise, I know that she has taken the kids on a quick errand a few times (i.e. to pick up medicine). I would have issues if she was talking all the time on the phone, always running errands etc."
"Many of the issues above have never come up. But our "nanny" has increasingly become a friend; I sometimes keep her child (who is in Kindergarten while she is with mine) and we do dinner out with her family sometimes too.... I trust her implicitly so don't feel like I have to make rules about the above issues...."
"many of these in #1 have not been discussed, but I would actually be very upset if some of them were happening!"
"May only have female friends over, and not when working unless approved. If she had a regular boyfriend we might make an exception."
"More of a babysitter than nanny - expect her to be engaged with the kids at all times, not talking on the phone unless necessary."
"Most of the above are not applicable. They would be okay with me if she did them, as I trust her judgement, but in general do not come up."
"Most of these things are okay if done in moderation. An occasional call or visiting with other nannies (in the park only, I"m not okay with going to other houses), or running her own errands is fine. But, if that's all she's doing instead of going to the park, that's not okay."
"Much of the "not OK" has never come up, given how we're scheduled, and given that our nanny prefers to take our daughter other places (they're not here much)."
"Must inform in advance where will be with child/ren at all times (which park, etc)."
"My feeling on a nanny is that I am trusting her judgement to do what she wants with my children during the day - "Happy nannies mean happy children", if she wants to be out with them all day - that's great, if she wants to be home that's great. If she has a friend over who likes kids, or wants to bring to a friend's house who has a cute puppy ....fine. I trust her to use her own judgement, and if I didn't trust her this much, she wouldn't be my nanny."
"My nannies always ask if they need to do some errand for themselves during working hours and need to take the children with them. I greatly appreciate their consideration in asking and usually have not problem with this, particularly as it is unusual."
"My nanny has great judgement, others I have used I would be more strict with regarding these choices."
"My nanny meets other nannies and kids in the park on occassion, but not regularly."
"my nanny never does anything personal while on duty, but it would be okay with me as I know she would do it at a minimum."
"Nanny regularly takes children on walks, to the park and library."
"nanny share situation, doesn't realy have time for other activities"
"napping while my children nap is okay as long as her daily duties get done and she doesn't neglect the kids while awake to get them done. Cell phone calls okay, as long as brief, but never while walking the children in a stroller or when they are outside. Personal calls on our home phone okay, as long as brief."
"need a n/a cotegory - nanny does not have cell phone - takes my child to doour shopping, not hers - i allow very restricted personal errands with child - somtiems it really is necessary. My child really lke my nanny's mother, so they visit her about 1x month - not other friends - it deepnds on the sitauion really- survey needs more categoreis like sometimes, rarely, always, never, etc"
"Not OK to watch TV WITH the child. Personal calls are kept to a minimum. Visits to other nannies' houses are social, but the child is still the central concern."
"ok to bring her own infant along every day. her other child(ren) or relatives WITH PRIOR notice and not too frequently. urgent personal errands or calls ok, not regular, long distractions. occasionally ok to visit other nanies, with prior permission and preferably in playdate situation."
"ok to invite people, if cleared with us first"
"Ok to study, meditate or be on computer while sleeping."
"OK, for her sister to come if she asks first"
"Our babysitter is basically completely trusted with our kids, she's fantastic. She can pretty much go where she wants with the baby, largely because she's never taken advantage of that freedom, and can be relied upon to clean up if she sees there's a mess, or take on tasks that she thinks need doing (organizing the play room, etc). She also encourages me to get off my butt and get to work (I'm a writer) and generally consults with me about the kids in every way. We are very, very lucky. However, she is only around for another year because she's graduating, taking a year off to work for me, and then going for her masters, at which point I will go into a decline."
"Our house was the place all the nannies/kids came to play -- kind of home base. We viewed this to be a plus, not a minus."
"Our kids are 8 & 11, so many of above ore N/A."
"our nanny could but would never do half these things - will not watch tv, nap, take baby to her home, etc."
"Our nanny doesn't watch tv or do errands or visit friends by her choosing, though she does have local family who come to our home and spend time with her and our kids--more of an extended family model really."
"Our nanny has a daughter in high school near the share house, so her daughter comes over after school and finishes the day with her mom and the babies--an ideal situation for us because the babies are in LOVE with the daughter, and our nanny is really grateful for the time with her daughter (and I'm sure for the extra arms)!"
"Our Nanny has only taken our child shopping or to her house if she ahs asked first, so this is not something she does frequently."
"Our Nanny is allowed to have a guest over if she ok's it with us first. She can use our phone for personal calls while our child is asleep. She can received calls at our house (we don't get cell phone reception, so people need to be able to get in touch with her)."
"our nanny is so responsible, she wouldn't talk on her cell phone extensively, so it's fine if something comes up where she has to. so the rule is not a strict "never", but limited to what is necessary due to timing of making/receiving certain calls. same with personal errands. it's fine when something comes up once a month or so, but it wouldn't be fine for it to happen every day. with all of the listed factors, it's a matter of degree."
"Our nanny only comes in the early mornings while the kids are still asleep. She gets the kids ready for school, feed them breakfast and drops them off."
"Our nanny seems to have a regular "play date" situation with other nannies at the park near the host family's house: the nannies meet at the park same time every day and set up a blanket for the kids to play, crawl, snack. These are personal friends of hers who are nannies; they bring their babies to the park. No one goes to the other person's house."
"Our nanny spend a few hours a day walking around our neighborhood with the baby, running errands, going to the park, etc. She often does light shopping for herself, and for us if we ask. Since the baby's enjoying a walk the whole time and any personal errands are "double-duty," it works out fine."
"Our nanny watches my son in the other family's house, so many of these issues don't come up for us. Also, we have not discussed most of these."
"our previous nanny talked too much on her cell phone, but as long as it doesn't interfere with attention to the child it shouldn't be a problem."
"Our sitter is only with child when she is awake so some of the above do not apply but on rare occasions when she is there and child is sleeping, we like her to take a break (talk on phone, read, watch TV, etc)."
"Personal calls are fine for very short time or when children are sleeping, but in general discouraged."
"Personal errands, taking child to her house or shopping were on a very occasional basis, and she checked in with me first."
"Quick personal calls are fine, especially while the child sleeps but obviously gabbing on the phone for more than a few minutes when she should be interacting with my child is not okay"
"Rarely does our nanny do any of these and she okays it with us first. When shopping, she is doing it for the household."
"She doesn't do any of the above, so we did not institute any policy. Personal calls are ok only as needed--same as any workplace. She does not drive, so none of the above applies."
"she doesn't do most of the things above, but they would be more or less ok with us if she did. we want to keep her happy!"
"She doesn't do most of the things that I write "not OK" to so it has never come up. She also doesn't do most of the things that I checked ok to (personal calls on our phone; taking child to her house; watching TV - we don't have a TV)."
"She doesn't drive, so that can limit a lot of these..."
"She has done several things that are "not OK" and it's been hard to deal with. She tries to sneak those things in."
"She may make occasional personal calls on her cell phone while watching my children. She may meet up with other nannies we know and the children they watch at our house, their house or the park."
"She rarely takes my child on errands and probably never has invited a friend or other nanny into our home. But still, I trust her judgement."
"She rarely to never actually does those things I've checked above, although they'd be fine with me."
"She works from her house, not ours."
"She writes all feeding, naps, etc. in a journal so I can keep track of my baby's care and development."
"She's only part-time, which is why I do all the cooking/etc. for the kids. But she's absolutely wonderful with them."
"Shes doesn't want to do any of the above. She is incredible responsibly and when with our kids, solely focuses on our kids and household (which includes cleaning and chores). All at her descretion - she does it on her own, I don't make her."
"short, within reason, and as needed only, assume not more than once per week or less"
"Since she is not with us full time, we agreed she can manage her errands/schedule while not working. Her hours should be focused on the kids' activities, playdates, etc."
"So long as there is open communication we have done ok with our prior Nanny's. If they want to have friends over or plan playdates with friends who are Nanny's, we just need to meet them and be aware of what the plans are."
"some of the above "allowances" evolved because of our love and trust of our nanny. If she was new, I might be more concerned - but I know her full attention is on my chlidren even if she visits a sister in law, etc."
"Some of these are "not applicable.""
"Taking my child to the park amounts to a playdate with other nannies, and I think that's why she always takes her to the park, but obviously that's fine with me. A lot of the questions above are "ok" within reason. If my nanny has taken care of everything and my child is still asleep, she can watch tv or make calls or take a nap."
"thanks for this list, we've not made these things explicit..."
"The above don't really apply. I work from home in the mornings. Our nanny does not drive and we don't live walking distance to anything. They spend the morning playing and walking around the neighborhood looking at bugs and other wildlife. Also, he doesn't nap. If he did, I would be fine with her taking some time for herself (to talk on the phone, watch TV, etc.) but would also expect her to tidy up."
"The errands are within reason--we live in a very easy, accessible neighborhood with Solano Ave. nearby, and I don't mind if she does a quick errand or two with the baby. It will probably get harder for her to do so as the baby gets older. The personal calls we allow are only back & forth with her kids, who drive her."
"The key is to have focus on the child, regardless of activity."
"The main focus is always the kids, but if she needs to run a quick errand for herself, that is fine"
"The Ok's are fine since our child is an infant. if he were older, it would not be okay."
"The OKs would be in moderation (an occasional call on her cell phone, etc.) She also occasionally watches her 7 yr old grandchild at the same time she watches our son."
"The phone question is odd, as she has a cell phone, so this never comes up."
"There are 2 nannies next door to each other -- families all play together, so those are the visits noted above."
"There are no absolutes. I would approve of any of the above if they were habitual, but if they were occasional it would be okay."
"These activities are "OK" because they are done rarely, in moderation and with good judgment. In other words, my nanny makes short phone calls or very occasionally takes my children to visit family who are kind to them."
"These are all ok on occasion, but would not be ok all the time."
"These questions would be answered more accurately if there was a scale used (e.g., I don't mind if my caregiver talks on her cell phone in LIMITED doses, etc.)."
"They work so many hours an have a life to manage also. Personal activities (calls, errands, shopping, etc.) should be in moderation, and not abused."
"Things like phone calls and TV are what I would call "within reason" and we've never had reason to establish firm rules. If the baby is sleeping, she tends to do all the household chores first and then read a magazine. If I thought she was watching TV all the time, we'd have to talk about it."
"This last question (policy about the following things) has a lot of gray areas for us: - Our nanny's sister is also a nanny and will occasionally come over with the kids she watches. This is fine because we know her and the sisters help each other. This would not be okay with any other nanny. - Napping is not okay, but certainly resting is encouraged! - Extensive chatting on the cell phone is not okay, but personal calls to her childs day care, husband, etc. is fine. - Extensive personal errands/shopping is not okay, but occasionally running to Walgreens for something is fun for the kids."
"Though we are ok with most of the above, our nanny doesn't do most of these things."
"Though we invited our nanny to watch tv or nap while our girls slept, our nanny declined and preferred to sit and read, waiting for the girls."
"Time with the children is her main priority. As long as she can go to them as soon as they wake up, nap time is her time to do what she wants."
"Very few explicit "policies" have been discussed - I think we just trust the nanny to use good judgement, and to answer the phone, etc, if she needs to."
"Visits from specific, discussed family are okay, but the ones that are invited visit three times a week for a couple of hours. It's good socialization."
"we allow her to run personal errands because she does not abuse the privledge. If she abused it, we would limit it. Same for phone calls"
"We allow TV watchign while baby sleeps at night, but not during the day."
"we allowed a lot of latitude with our nanny, but always emphasized that our daughter was her primary focus, and other activities were not to interfere with/disrupt her schedule, i.e.. phone calls ok, but not excessive."
"We are ok with several of the policy items above because our nanny has done them sometimes, but always in moderation."
"We are very flexible with her so she in turn is flexible with us. When we come home an hour early- we pay her full time but let her go home. In turn if we are 20 minutes late here and there she never asks for more pay. If we take a long weekend, or go anywhere on holiday she is always paid in full."
"We do not have a strict contract. I would prefer that the nanny not use his phone while taking care of my child, but realize that sometimes this is necessary and that I do it too. I have tried to be reasonable about my expectations since it is important to me that our nanny enjoy taking care of our son. We pay under the table at the nanny's request, so there is no expectation of benefits, &c."
"We do sharecare for about half the week, sometimes at our house & sometimes at the share-care family's house; that didn't exactly fit in above."
"We don't actually have a home phone or much of a tv, but if we did, it would be fine for our sitter to use them. As for having kids over, I work from home in a pretty small space, so it's not helpful to have other children here..."
"We don't allow her to drive the kids, so any 'shopping' or 'errands' is done while they are out and about in the stroller - minimal."
"We don't have a TV and our nanny doesn't drive, so a lot of these things haven't come up."
"We don't have specific policies on most of these issues. Mostly these in the "not okay" list haven't come up. Some of the "not okay" could be fine depending on the situation."
"We don't have strict policies about many of these things. After about 6 months, we allowed her to take the two children in her car to go to the park."
"We don't really have a policy on any of these things. Above are my thoughts, but we haven't discussed these with the nanny, really."
"We have a unique situation, as our nanny meets me at my holistic healthcare office of where I have a nursery next to my treatment room where she watches our child. She does not drive our child, only walks the neighborhood to the park and library. The occasional errand may be to the post office, copy store or to buy lunch at a cafe nearby."
"We have a VERY casual relationship with our nanny who is really more like a family member at this point, and these questions aren't really applicable to our situation."
"We have had several pregnant nannies whom I have been fine with allowing to sleep while my child sleeps, but, in general, my child sleeps for 3 hours and we cannot afford to pay someone to sleep. So we ask that they use that time to definitely take a long break, but also to do the light, child-related housekeeping/cooking."
"we have no TV while the baby is awake, no computer use while baby is awake rule - she's happy to comply (not a tv or computer person!) :-)"
"We have not "officially" discussed these items, but the ones that I have checked "ok" are ok within limits."
"We have not had to set policy about the items above (things she can and cannot do). If she gets a call on her cell, she keeps it short. If she wanted to watch TV while the kids sleep, she could, but she works on her computer or reads. She takes them to storytime that a friend of her facilitates at the library. If she needed to run an errand it would be ok with me, but she does not do that often. The key is to find someone whose values are similar to your own, so that these things will just fall into proper place."
"We let her use her good judgment about what to do with kids and it's been fine. Our older daughter is 4 years old and tells us what they do each day, so we have a built in reporter. But it's always that they went to park or library or stopped at Safeway or went to gymnastics. I don't mind if she takes kids with her to do errands beacuse it's unusual, maybe 1-2 times per month."
"We pay our nanny to focus on our children and their development. Reading, playing at the park, and encouraging their activity is the prime benefit that comes from the lower ratio of caregiver to child offered by a nanny."
"We respect each other and I am very reasonable and flexible. I think because I respect her and her time, she respoects mine. She also has a 4 year old daughter that she can bring to our house any time she needs to (when there is no school, she is sick, etc.)"
"We said yes to cellphone calls, but asked her to keep them short."
"we take our daughter to the nanny's house every day, since the nanny has a four year old son."
"We trust our nanny to do activities that will be enjoyable and stimulating for the children, if that includes her personal errands that is OK."
"we would be ok with those things, but she would never do them. she won't watch tv or rest while our baby sleeps b/c she likes to keep busy."
"We'd be ok with those things marked above, but our nanny doesn't do any of them except taking my child to the grocery store occaisionally."
"We're extremely flexible with her, and she's never crossed boundaries. While we are fine with her doing all these things, she rarely does them. She's not a TV watcher/phone person."
"We're the add-on family, so policies were set by the main family. My understanding is that she is trusted completely to use her own judgment (which is good)."
"We've never had to set any rules - our Nanny doesn't use the time she's with the kids to do stuff for herself, except the occasional phone call while they're napping."
"When my child sleeps, our nanny usually does some household tasks. After that, I don't really care what she does as long as she can respond if our child needs her. Usually there isn't much time for a nap or anything like that. Sometimes she looks at books to practice her English."
"When my kids were babies and my nanny was pulling 12 hour days, I fully expected her to nap or whatever when they were asleep.(they were exhausting at that age) Now they don't nap so its a non-issue. Nothing is concrete. I wouldn't want her running 3 hours of errands every day with my kids in tow but picking up cleaning or photos while she is out with them is fine."
"While all of the above are allowed, she rarely takes advantage of many of these, which is why it's okay with me."
"While i wouldn't mind if our nanny invited other nannies over, slept during our daughter's nap, or watched TV during her nap--she's never done any of those things to my knowledge."
"within reason, if the nanny thinks it would be okay then I trust her, I trust her with my child, just want her to be honest about what she does"
"Wow--we've never discussed any of these things. I guess because she's here for so few hours. She is so experienced though that she kind of knows not to take personal calls, while working, etc."
"You forgot internet access, which is under "OK" for us. All of the "OK" things tend to be occasional/situational. We trust her judgment. All the "Not OK" are just N/A in our situation- she doesn't have a cell, she only invites people with kids, she is strongly anti-TV, although we'd probably be okay with any of these things."
Access to our computer/internet while my children sleeps Study for her classes while my childen sleeps
All of these are within reason...
All outings are discussed ahead of time.
Children were infant to toddler age.
Clear written expectations are the key
Everything in moderation. A 5 minute call is fine. Being on the phone for 30 minutes with a friend not okay. Depositing a check at the bank is fine. Spending the whole day running errands - not okay.
friends visiting (not a playdate) must be ok'd in advance.
generally should be tending to children but fine if doing an errand en walk to park or on personal call BRIEFLY
Her primary responsibility is always the best care for our children. We are ok with all of the above on an occassional basis. We would not be ok if she did these things all the time.
Homework during naps is fine as well.
I am ok with many of the above policies only because I have nothing but complete trust and respect for our current nanny and know the kids always come first and that she would never take advantage of a situation. I might not feel the same with another nanny.
I assume she keeps her calls brief.
I did not check many of the above because they do not apply to us.
I don't think she does these things--other than taking calls on her cell phone. But I'd be ok with it. I once had a nanny who regularly did socialize for her own benefit as opposed to the kids' and I was NOT okay with it.
I have not set a ton of rules because our nanny has good judgment. I considered a nanny contract but did not end up writing one up.
I would expect limitations on her phone calls while the children are awake.
Inviting friends or other nannies to our house is only allowed if she calls us first.
It's important that personal things be kept short and also that she prioritizes our child at all times.
Many Nannies seem to take advantage of these priviledges - mine never has - she actually tries to avoid situations where she would have to sociallize instead of taking care of my kids - a certain park where other Mien nannies hang out.
most of the above do not apply to us.
Most of these have never come up.
My nanny always asks in advance if it's okay for her to take my child to the pharmacy (for example) to pick up a prescription. She always gets permission.
My nanny doesn't drive so some of these questions don't exactly apply. I answered based on if she did drive as far as what I would and wouldn't think is ok.
My nanny situation always happens at the nanny's house and your questions don't really cover this.
Nannies are generally underpaid and overworked.
nanny could make personal calls on my home phone when she was not on duty. she could invite her family over when i was at home. she was not to have the TV on when on duty unless the baby was asleep. the radio was fine.
Nanny does all the things listed that are Not ok
need prior permission to do all of these except the personal calls & errands
No TV at all when our son is awake. We encourage her to read books to him and draw with him and do creative projects and activities instead of just passing the time.
No TV for my child
Not okay to take my children to any one's house or location we're unfamiliar with. No TV whatsoever.
of course we're talking about limited personal phone calls and errands. My child's need must come first.
OK to meet other Nannies at the park. OK for Nanny to drive kids to park etc OK for Nanny to transport child to Nanny share house
ok to use cell phone on occasion for personal calls
only one of these things have actually come up. Our nanny has excellent judgement.
Our car seat is permanently installed in her car and is not to be removed from the car.
Our nanny does not drive our child so she may occasionally stop for a quick bite to eat with our son in tow.
Our nanny does visit with other nannies when they meet a parks near our house
Our nanny doesn't ask to do any of these things but I think I'd be OK with it if she did
our nanny has some personal phone calls to her children but they are short and not taking away from the care of my kids. i don't think it is a big deal if she occasionally takes them to the drug store/grocery store.
Our nanny is a mature woman with good judgement. We trust her to make good decisions about the issues listed above.
Our nanny is not allowed to drive our son but she's welcome to grab a bite to eat or do a quick errand on foot when he's in tow. I don't think it's happened much if at all.
Our nanny likes to take our baby for walks around the neighborhood. I don't mind if she meets a friend at the park or runs an errand while out for a walk.
Our nanny quit when I asked her to keep her personal calls to a reasonable level while watching my child.
Our nanny typically doesn't do any of the above with the exception of taking our children to her house now and again.
Our nanny/au pair is more like a 3rd child or daughter!
Paid for a CPR class
personal calls and texts are okay when the children sleep.
personal calls are fine in some situations but a constantly ringing cellphone is not. its a hard thing to manage but if its emeregencies on cell or house phone that seems reasonable.
Personal calls are ok as long as they are not extended calls. She has kids and a family that need to be able to be in touch with her.
personal calls from home or cell are okay when child is sleeping. tv is off if child is awake.
phone calls and errand are on a limited basis only
Phone only when children are sleeping
reasonable personal calls only and should not affect child safety or ability to play. personal errands if it is very important and asked and approved. Taking child shopping for our grocery OK. Not her errands.
She also occasionally brings her kids here while she watches our son.
She always asks permission to run an errand during the day or if a trip to her house is needed.
She brings her child to work with her.
She can arrange for people to come over if I am asked in advance. Her daughters are welcome anytime.
she is allowed to set up playdates with other nannies and the children in their care
She understands phone call should be kept to a minimum and she is free todo what she wants while my child is asleep
she weeds my garden and plays with my dogs while the baby sleeps
Some of the above I never thought of before and haven't really articulated a policy about.
Some of the above items would be ok on an exception basis but not on a egular basis.
taking my child to visit friends/other nannies at park/playground is fine.
Talking with other moms or nannies at the park is great! But no prearranged dates with friends.
The peronal calls on the home phone are rare and are only okay when the children are sleeping.
This is an established nanny share that I joined so some of the above questions are not applicable.
This is awkward as she really had good judgment. I don't really disallow anything.
TV is ok if the kids are in beds and there is nothing else that needs to be done in the house (or after a long day and we're out at night) her personal errands can be done if they are EXTREMELY convenient to ours (ie picking up some food for herself at trader joes while she's shopping for us) cell phone calls are OK as long as the conversation are kept short and are NEVER while driving our kids
watching tv while child naaps does not exclude doing some light housework while watching :-)
We can't afford full time nanny care and preschool any longer. The total cost is $3000/month and we are currently enrolling our children in daycare to save $1500/month. We wish we could continue with a nanny but it is too expensive.
We do not allow her to meet up with friends on duty but she often does and lies to us about the circumstances as to how that happened.
We do not allow our nanny to transport our child in a car.
We don't have a TV so the last situation is moot... We trust our nanny to use her judgment in choosing which non-nanny specific activites are appropriate to do while being with our son. She has never made us uncomfortable with her decisions and always asks us in advance.
we don't impose many restrictions on our nanny since she exercizes such good judgement and cares about our children's well-being just as much as we do
we don't own a TV
We don't want her to drive the children anywhere with out our permission.
We don't want the TV on while our child is awake.
We generally respect her and know she has our kids best interest at heart. I think I would prefer no cell phone if I felt she was talking too much or neglecting the kids.
We give her access to a computer for use while children nap.
We have a NO TV FOR KIDS policy
We haven't stipulated anything that isn't okay - she spends all her time with the baby and we haven't had to ask her not to do anything different yet.
We like to treat our au pair like a family member or a big sister to our kids. She is really respectful of the boundaries we have set for our children.
We trust our nanny to use discretion in these matters.
With the checked oks above (personal calls and TV) these are ok in a limited amount. I have never had to state this since my nanny never watches TV and doesn't like to talk on the phone so has few calls but I would feel strongly about these items if I did have to address them.
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