Therapists for Sexual Issues
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Therapists for Sexual Issues
This question has been asked before, but I need to ask again
with my insurance company limitation in mind. We have the
Blue Shield HMO, and we need, need, need to see someone who
will directly address sexual issues, no shyness or sideways
talking. We'd also consider a workshop or course, but we
have small children and no ability to go to overnight
retreats, or to pay for tons of childcare. We need to be
guided through recovery from abuse and intimacy issues that
have blocked our love life from the beginning.
We had a great experience with Laura Goldberger
(http://lauragoldberger.com/ 510-665-7755). Although she
didn't push our sexual issues until we brought them up, she
then was totally comfortable and straight-forward discussing
our sexual and intimacy dynamics, including long-standing
difficulties (and even our kinky tendencies). She helped us
understand the dynamics and clear out tension and start
anew. She did take Blue Shield HMO.
Wife with Much Better Sex Life
This has been a thread throughout our 8+ years as a couple.
He was having affairs and now has ''tapered off'' into chat
rooms with women and men (he pretends to be a woman in these
pornographic conversations with men).
He is sick and I am sick to my stomach and have just moved
to the area. We have young children and he is starting to
look for a therapist and attend sa meetings, but I am
becoming unhinged and am a bad parent because I'm so upset
I need to find a therapist for me in the
Montclair/Temescal/Rockridge area. Female preferred.
I have been seeing Jerri Lee Young at the Living Arts Counseling Center for
over a year for my own personal growth, and I have just started talking with
her about my husband's work in recovery in SAA. I really appreciate her
approach to life. She's very caring, warm, open, grounded, and spiritual,
while also being very down-to-earth -- and she has a great sense of humor.
She really helps me to zero in on things about myself and helps me to
understand what my husband is going through.
I specifically went to Living Arts Counseling Center because of its emphasis
on drama and expressive arts therapy, but if you're a person for whom that
is off-putting, no worries; I end up just talking with her a lot of the time
I'm there. She totally rolls with what you're wanting to do each time.
Here's a link to info about her on their site:
Learning to support my husband
I'm looking for 2 therapists, for individual counseling as well
as couples therapy. I'm searching therapists who'd be
non-judgmental about my sexual issues, past, and propensity
toward non-conventional living and desire to explore the
possibility of open marriage - who'd also combine great analysis
with a sensitive and spiritual perspective! These are really
difficult existential issues for me, so it's not only about being
sex positive. I saw the previous recommendations in relation to
sex work, but because that's not my particular history, I'm
wondering if these wouldn't be relevant to me. Prefer East Bay or
I HIGHLY recommend Stacy Stoddard - 510.496.2733. She was
fantastic & non-judgmental & open about our open marriage. And
I'd like to recommend Laine Demetria, MS, MFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Although she specializes in medical trauma, she embraces families,
individuals with alternative lifestyles. I love the way she deeply
listens and addresses
the issues at hand but always sees you as whole and perfect. She is
empathetic and spiritual.
You can call her to see if she is a good match to you.
hope this helps
My husband & I have a 4 month old son, and are also in an open
We use a therapist named Lonnie Green-Tate & we love her. She is
very open-minded, supportive & not 'cookie-cutter-mold-ish'. She
really makes sure to understand where BOTH of us are coming from
& what will serve BOTH of our happiness...
Her phone number is 415-946-9751
Lyn Davis Genelli is your woman. Unconventional, amazing,
frank, accepting (very) of alternative lifestyles, and does not
pussyfoot around. Her spiritual well is very deep, and that's
the first thing that drew me to her. Besides psychotherapy, she
has a very committed intellectual spiritual practice as well as
a deep background in yoga. She's a wise elder (in her sixties),
an ass-kicker when necessary, funny and just capable of coming
up with the most amazing insights. I have never walked out of
her office without an ''aha'' moment. She does body-centered
psychotherapy, so you don't just become a talking head. Her
email address: email@example.com
I know she works out of her home in San Rafael, and also
perhaps in SF.
Grateful Former Client
I would highly recommend Jennifer Lieberman. I did couples
counseling with Jennifer during a particularly hard life
transition. My partner and I at the time were practicing an open
marriage, and he is transgendered.
Jennifer handled our situation with grace, intelligence and
compassion. I always felt greatly accepted and gently guided
towards my own truth and healing. Jennifer always focused on the
issues at hand, healing a relationship, finding our personal
truth and hopefully bringing the two together. Unfortunately
that did not happen, but I did go on to work with Jennifer in
individual therapy and that was transforming and deeply healing.
She is located in the east bay and would be a wonderful guide
through these difficult questions that you allude to in your post.
I'm writing this for my best friend who is looking for a great sex
therapist (or something) for her and her husband. Their situation
briefly:Both in late 50's, married long time, kids grown, they've
grown apart sexually, but are still compatible in many other
ways...live together well, travel well, like the same things, get
along, etc. He wants sex in the marriage, she isn't attracted to him
sexually anymore and can't imagine having sex with him.....but she
loves him and is willing to investigate. They are both in individual
therapy and have been in couples therapy...but more is needed. Any
I would highly recommend Lisa Lancaster. She has been a great
help to me and my husband. She is in Berkeley and her number is
Does anybody have the name of a good sexual therapist out
I feel so frustrated that I don't even want to try anymore,
Even though I am over 50, I feel too young to be celibate for
the rest of my life!!
Sleepless in Orinda
We had great success with Dr. Deborah Caust in San Francisco.
You can find her easily via google. She is a sexologist as well
as an MFT with 25 years in private practice. We started seeing
her primarily to jump-start our sex life and ended up also
resolving couplehood issues I thought we'd be arguing about for
the rest of our lives!
Better living through therapy
I'd recommend Victoria Lee, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist and Sex
Therapist. She is located in Lafayette and can be reached at
I highly recommend Dr. Lisa Lancaster in Berkeley. She is
fabulous! Her number is 510-841-2525.
I am looking for a marriage/couples therapist for my husband and myself who
also specializes in sexual issues. The last time we did therapy together it
was very successful, but in the end we both felt that the therapist we had was
not a perfect fit for us. Since then, we have had a second child and it is
time for therapy again! This time we would ideally like a woman who practices
close to Piedmont Ave. in Oakland.
I'd recommend Elveyn Hoch, who has an office on Piedmont Avenue.
We saw her for marriage therapy, rather than specific sex therapy,
but I believe she has background in both specialties. (510)
I have been extremely happy with Dr. Lisa Lancaster. She has seen
me and my husband for about 6 months now and has really helped us
be a happier couple and happier people. She is in
A great help to our marriage was a psychologist in Berkeley, Hans
Stahlschmidt. We were able to work through some tough sexual
issues. He incorporates the approach by David Schnarch
(recommended reading ''The Passionate Marriage'')and he has a deep
understanding of the dilemma of attraction, desire and commitment
in long-term relationships. Highly recommended. His office phone
I am looking for a recommendation for a couples counselor specializing in sex therapy,
or the sexual relationship as an entry into deeper issues between us. I have read
through previous recommendations on the website, but few mention sex therapy
specifically. I think this would be the easiest way to enter into a discussion of the
ways we relate to one another and it represents much of what I see elsewhere in our
personalities. That said, I'm not looking for a counselor who only deals in sexual
issues - I am guessing that our intimate relationship is how we manifest our other
issues. Also, we are a hetero-couple, with few ''on the fringe'' relationship
desires. We also have kids together and this would also be discussed. I am looking
for someone in the Berkeley area (within about 10 miles is reasonable). Lastly, if
you have more than one recommendation, that would be great since I have to match with
our mental health benefit. Thank you!!!!!
She is not really a ''therapist'' but Danielle Harel is a sexologist
who has helped me greatly. She has a Phd from the IASS in SF (the
premier sexological academic instiiute) and she is an incredible
person, very loving, very caring and very perceptive. She is a mother
of two kids herself and she has an office in Berkeley. She has a
master's in psychology. If you google her name you will find her
I highly recommend Dr. Hans Stahlschmidt in Berkeley. We had developed
a very poor sex life in our marriage and he helped us to face some
tough and painful issues. He focused on concrete sexual hang-ups as
well as on underlying enmeshment problems. For the first time in our
lives we found a way to talk about our sexual fears and dreams. Our
relationship is now more realistic and loving. I definitely recommend
that you check him out. I think his office number is 848 5347. Best of
I am in my early 40s and I am looking for a good therapist experienced in sexual
issues. I am interested in exploring my sexuality and being more sexually open in
my relationships. The rest of my life seems to be in order, but sexually I am a bit
hung up. Can anyone recommend a therapist with experience in this area?
For sex (and other) therapy, I strongly recommend Dr. Johanina
Wikoff -- http://www.johaninawikoff.com . She works with couples
and individuals (I've worked with her both with my husband and
alone) and is wise, non-judgemental, very knowledgable, highly
respected. She sees clients both in San Francisco and in
Petaluma. She's made a great difference in my life.
I highly recommend Isadora Alman, who used to be in the City and
is now in Alameda. She is open, non-judgdmental and likes to do
short-term therapy. She also gives good, sound advice.
I have never seen a therapist before, but I'm long over-due. I have worked in the
sex industry for years and I'm in an open relationship, so I am hoping to find
someone who is positive about/open to unconventional life choices. I am afraid that
I'll start seeing someone who will secretly be thinking, ''You did WHAT!? Well,
there's your problem!'' I understand that good therapists should withhold
judgement, but I still can't help feeling that if she believes/assumes that
momogamous marriage is the best relationship and that sex work is always bad and
harmful, it will impact my therapy experience. Any recommendations for me?
I have been working with Christy Calame, and can assure
you that she has many clients who are sex workers or poly
or just sex positive. Her office is off Grand Avenue at Lake
a sex-positive mom
I haven't seen this person myself, but she came highly
recommended by someone I trust deeply who lives an alternative
lifestyle. You might give her a call and see what you think.
Kathy Labriola. I went with someone else because
some of my issues involved the very friend that made the
recommendation and that didn't feel comfortable to me. Good
My partner and I have what you might say is an ''alternative'' sex
lifestyle and worked with Kirsten Beuthin. She was easygoing,
and it felt safe to discuss our issues with her. I strongly
recommend her. She is in Oakland and SF, and can be reached at
652-0990. I know this a sensitive area, so best of luck.
I recommend Charna Cassell. She is actually a somatic
therapist, but she is well connected to the feminist, sex
positive, abuse recovery and queer therapy communities.
Her number is 415.999.2422.
You can also try calling the Feminist Therapist Referral
I saw your posting and the first therapist that came to mind is
my colleague, Lor Fjerkenstad.
Given the concerns listed in
your posting, I believe that Lor will be a very good fit for
you. She has experience working with the issues that you've
discussed - the sex-trade industry and open relationships. I
find her to be a very compassionate, non-judgmental therapist.
I highly recommend Isadora Alman in SF as a non-judgemental,
very sex positive therapist. www.askisadora.com
I'm a nurse and volunteer at St James Infirmary
in SF, the only clinic in
the USA dedicated to caring for sex workers. I'm also a SF Sex
Information trained sex educator. I suggest you contact St James
http://stjamesinfirmary.org/ 415-554-8494) and SFSI (www.sfsi.org) for
referrals. They can give you referral to sliding scale community
services, and possible private practitioners if you have the income/
insurance for that. Being SF, there are many sex positive therapists
here who won't blink an eye at your sexual history. Many of them taught
the SFSI classes, and they're wonderful.
You didn't post your email address; if you need further assistance
please email me and I'll do what I can for you.
I have a recommendation for you. Joanne Long Howell. I know
Joanne would be positive and accepting toward your life choices, and she has a lot
of experience working with people in a similar situation as yours.
My huband of five years has a sexual addiction problem. I
finally threatened to divorce him unless he seeks counseling
specifically for this issue. (Bascially, I have caught him 3-4
times using phone sex services, online porn, and online sex
personals, which really upsets me. He admitted when confronted
with specific evidence that last week, while we were in a fight,
he saw a ''massage therapist'' who performed ''extras.'' I strongly
suspect he is having an affair in addition to all this, because
he lied to me about his whereabouts last weekend and he just
ordered some Viagra sent to his office (definitely not to use
with me)! Any recommendations? I checked the site but there was
nothing in this particular area. I think my husband would
respond better to a male when discussing this kind of thing.
How do I deal with the cheating issue if my husband vehemently
denies he is cheating? He only responds to hard evidence and I
only have circumstantial (but I have a LOT of it; I am
convinced, but he knows I can't nail him so he just denies
everything). Do I have to hire a private investigator to catch
him in the act? We have two young children and I work; I can't
be following him around....
Finally, for those of you who have asked your spouse to attend
therapy by themselves, how will I know that he has actually gone
to the appointments? How will I know if he is making progress?
He is in complete denial that this is a problem.
Thanks for your help.
- Anguished Wife
My husband saw Dr. Charles King in Berkeley for therapy after I
discovered his sex addiction problem. My husband was very
willing to go to therapy. (He also tried going to an SAA (Sex
Addicts Annonymous) meeting, and liked it, but found one on one
therapy more appealing.) Our schedule at first was for him to go
every week, but I accompanied him on alternate weeks so that we
could do couples work to facilitate his recovery. After a year
and a half or so we were able to taper off to two appointments a
month, one with me, and one without. After a year of that my
husband was recovered enough that we decided to just do couples
work. And now after a year of that we are ''fixed''. But as a
caution... therapy only works if the people involved are willing
to change. Give therapy a try, but also be prepared to make some
I found the following website helpful when I was investigating
I also highly recommend any book by Philip Carnes. His stuff is
really good. It is hard to find books about the topic that
aren't heavy handed in a religious way. Good luck.
a surviving spouse
Hi. My heart goes out to you. Four years into our marriage, my
husband admitted his sexual addiction to me. Like yours, it
took the form of online porn, phone sex, and massage parlors. I
felt like such an idiot, I had no idea he did it. I had sensed
withdrawal, anger, and depression on his part, but to learn what
form it took, and the shock of my ignorance of it, made me
We initially sought out couples counseling. I balked at the
idea of couples counseling at first, because I thought that,
clearly, this wasn't a ''relationship'' problem, but a problem my
husband had. I was right, but, equally, of course, however he
and we addressed his problem -- and divorce was very much on the
table -- it was something that we would probably need couples
counseling on, so that's where we started, really for lack of a
better place to start. The thing is, in making his admission to
me, my husband had ''hit bottom'' in his addiction, and was at a
place where he was ready to admit that he had a problem. He
started going to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Meetings, and
worked the program. It's now been four years since he has acted
out on his addiction, we're still married, have a loving (and
sexual) relationship, and he's a different man -- or, he's
himself again, the man I fell in love with in the first place.
But, what's the catch about SLAA? Yeah, the first step. He has
to be ready to admit he has a problem, and from your message, it
doesn't sound like he is. You might want to start with couples
counseling. At least then you'll know he's there, and he will
hear you talk about the pain it's causing you. You can also
call SLAA yourself for more information --- (415) 979-4715. I'm
sorry I don't have a couples counselor to recommend; I wasn't
that impressed with ours, although he got us pointed in the
right direction, which is something.
I wish you all the best in this. It will be a long journey.
Still on the journey, but starting to enjoy it again
Your question asked for both recommendations and advice. I'm responding with
advice even though this is the ''recommendations'' newsletter.
Your questions and your anguish point to a deep loss of trust in your marriage.
Sure, you could obtain ''hard evidence'' with a private investigator or by devoting
yourself to the task -- but you already know that he has deceived you. If the
problem is his unwillingness to 'fess up, then hard evidence solves that problem --
for that moment in time. But it seems to me that the real problem is his
untrustworthiness, and I don't think any trustworthy person deserves an
I'd like to suggest, gently, that you step back and think about what kind of
atmosphere you want to raise your children in. An atmosphere of spousal deceit
Think about whether counselling can change his untrustworthiness (regardless of its
cause, sex-addiction or who knows what). Can any person overcome a problem that
they are unwilling to acknowledge?
Then think about whether you deserve this life, and whether your kids deserve it.
Best wishes and good luck to you. Many of us have been in your shoes, but a lot of
us have stepped out of those shoes and have found a better life.
I married a man I love but for whom I have always felt little
sexual desire. Ten years and two children later, I've had a
purely sexual affair and realize that our situation is
untenable. Could anyone recommend a marriage therapist who is
very good with sexual issues? Thank you.
I would like to highly recommend Penny Schuchman in Montclair.
She has training in both marriage and sex counseling, is very
experienced, warm, professional, and helpful. And, she has a
great sense of humor! Her phone number is: 339-0120. Good luck.
I am looking for recommendations for a therapist in Walnut Creek
(Concord, Pleasant Hill, Lafayette okay too). I need someone to
help me deal with current issues regarding lack of sex drive, as
well as old issues of molestation that have been rearing their
ugly head lately. I want someone who is sensitive to my ''stuff''
but will help me work through these issues and get to the core
in a no-nonsense approach. Any suggestions would be
need to get back on the couch
Check out Ellen Walters. She is an MFC with special training
and experience in issues related to sexuality. She is very smart and has a wry
and wonderful sense of humor.
My husband and I are also looking for a sex therapist. We saw
the recommendation for Heidi Berrin-Shankoff but would like to
know if there is anyone else who might actually specialize in
sexual problems in heterosexual relationships. Of course, we
also need the therapist to be able to deal with the emotional
part of the relationship. Has anyone had experience with Romika
Raquel Weber who advertises in the Open Exchange?
Looking for the sex therapist.
First - I think it is great that you are looking for support
around this issue.
Second - I have never heard of either of the Therapists you
Third -If you could be more clear as to the nature of the
issues, It would help you find the right referral.
Is the issue low sexual drive? sexual addiction? Exploration?
Sexual dysfunction? Is you or your partner a survivor of abuse
or sexual trauma and is this impacting your intimate life?
Drive or dysfunction issues need first to be ruled out by a
medical doctor. Sexual addiction has it own specialists. The
other issues could be understood as relational issues and for
that there are a number of good therapists in the the Bay Area.
Call one in your Area. All are bound to confidentiality and
should be able to focus you in the right direction. Good Luck
Can anyone recommend a good sex therapist in the East Bay? I am
in regular therapy and have also done couples' therapy with my
husband. I would like to augment this by seeing someone to just
focus on my sexual issues. I understand that obviously the
larger issues overlap but I really want someone with a focus on
To the person looking for a sex therapist to augment couples
counseling... My husband and I see a couples counselor who is
fabulous at dealing with sexual issues within the relationship.
You'll find many recommendations here for her as a general
couples counselor, but it's worth pointing out that she has a
strong touch with sexual issues as well. Heidi Berrin Shonkoff
This isn't a sex therapist - but rather workshops around
sexuality. For a friend of mine, it was very healing and
helped in her relationship - the Body Electric school in
Berkeley - http://www.bodyelectric.org/
I wanted to say I think it's great that you are seeking out the
help you need for yourself and your relationship - counseling,
sex therapy, whatever it is!
For nearly five years I have been dealing with a vaginal pain
disorder called vulvardynia. I have been seeing a highly
regarded and competent specialist. Still, I have not experienced
much relief from my mostly constant pain. I have begun to think
that there may be a large psychological component to my pain.
For example, it might be partly caused by tensing up emotionally
I have been seeing a therapist who specializes in pain
management whom I had hoped would be able to help me with this.
Yet, my therapist has just recommended that I see a sex
therapist instead. I would greatly appreciate any
recommendations to sex therapists whom I could trust and who
might have experience in working with women who have vulvar pain
issues. I would also appreciate any advise on having pleasurable
sex with my loving and supportive partner while dealing with a
pain disorder. As a side note, most of my pain during sex is
caused by friction and pressure no matter how lubricated I am
and I find oral sex to be the most painful.
no more pain please
Toni Ayres is a sex therapist in SF (or close by). She taught
a sexuality course that I took to get my counseling degree
and was wonderful. She is very experienced and also has a
nursing degree--so she understands the physiology behind
what is going on. I would also encourage you to look up Dr.
Jerome Weiss ...
Try either Karen McClellan or Jeremy Gordon at the Berkeley
Therapy Institute. Both are warm, pragmatic, and easy to talk
to, and both have extensive experience and training in sex
I would also encourage you to look up Dr. Jerome Weiss,
a urologist in SF. He employs physical
therapists who work with people who have vulvodynia
(which he believes is actually caused by pelvic floor
dysfunction), as well as a woman who does biofeedback for
this problem. He believes that the problem is actually a
muscular one and that the internal cause refers pain to the
vulva--causing painful sex.
I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you've been having. Like you, I
have had major sexual issues (severe pain and tensing up) due to
some invasive medical treatments I had as a child.
My primary care physician in SF referred me to Dr. Jerome Weiss (also
in San Francisco) at the Pacific Center for Pelvic Pain & Dysfunction. He
and the people who work for him have changed my life. I NEVER
thought that I'd have a normal sex life, but they have helped me so
much. He's not a sex therapist, but uses biofeedback and myofacial
techniques to recondition tensed and atrophied muscles. He and the
people who work for him are very kind and realize that there are many
emotional issues that go along with the physical side of our situtation.
The only difficult thing with Dr. Weiss is that he does not accept
insurance. You can try to get an out of network approval for him (since
there's no one else in the area doing what he does), but as you can
imagine, there's a bit of red tape to muddle through. However, don't let
this prevent you from seeing him. He's great and you deserve to lead a
completely happy and fulfilling life.
I don't know about sex therapists, but I have had years of experience
with uncomfortable sex. No gynecologists helped, but I had an exam
from an N.P or P.A or something like that who gave me advice that is
finally making a difference. She noticed how dry my vagina was and
recommended a product called REPLENS, which is a vaginal
moisturizer that works over 2-3 days. It is not and does not replace
lubricants used during sex. It seems to make the tissues around the
opening of the vagina less irritated and more comfortable. She also said
that many detergents and especially panty liners use baking soda,
which can also cause problems to the tissue where it touches. She
suggested I stop using the panty liners. I didn't believe either of these
pieces of advice, having sufferred for many years with vulvar problems,
but I tried them anyway for the last several months. Sex hasn't hurt lately,
so I'm going to continue doing this. Maybe it will help you?
For temporary relief during
intercourse, I would suggest getting a prescription of 2-5%
Xylocaine (from any physician/NP) to apply to the vulva
before sex. It only takes a tiny bit to be effective (and may
burn a little when you first put it on). It wears off after about
20 minutes. For oral sex, however, be warned: this ''caine''
will numb your partner's mouth! Also, a really good lubricant
is Astroglide. I was able to find this at Safeway.
There are many women with this problem but the causes
and cures are difficult to find. These are the best I have
come up with so far. Also, know that for many women this
problem ''goes away'' after giving birth--more evidence for
the possibility of a muscular disorder. Although I am not
cured, I have found relief in these temporary solutions--and
with a very understanding partner. I hope this is helpful and
you can find some relief, too.
I'm sorry that you've had to go through so much. Would it help to see an M.D. who specializes in chronic pain, as opposed to a therapist? I think U.C.S.F. has a chronic pain center; there may be others. Could your pain possibly be muscle tension? In which case Kegel exercises, along with a muscle relaxant, such as Flexerill, or a short course of Valium, might be helpful. I've also heard that cognitive behavioral therapy can be useful in dealing with chronic pain; there's a center for Cog Beh therapy in Oakland, and a therapist there specializes in chronic pain. Hope this is helpful. Don't give up.
After seven years together and a less frequent love-making schedule
after the arrival of our child, I am considering getting a sex guide to help my partner and I get some new ideas. Does anyone have suggestions
for good books that are instructive without being too pedagogical and
straightforwardly sexy without being smutty? Is Joy of Sex trite (on-line reviews make later editions sound a bit clinical)? Also, I automatically assume books will contain the information I seek, but maybe there are other options out there that are less ''intellectual?''
Good Vibrations in Berkeley has all sorts of books, from technical
to smutty, also videos, tapes, and toys, and the place is very
friendly and, well, wholesome. I would recommend going there with
your husband as a place to explore and see what tickles your
fancy. They also do mail-order. I've bought x-rated comic books
and tapes there, and mailed them at odd intervals to my husband at
>From the self-help section of the regular bookstore, Passionate
Marriage, by a man named Snarch, has a lot of insight in to how to
get out of your own way (and out of your partner's way) when
you're a bit stuck. It's by no means smutty, but it's very
direct, and when my husband and I read it out loud to each other,
we often ended up making love.
Scheduling sex, ghastly as it sounds, can help a lot, and leads to
more spontaneity later.
Good Vibrations puts out a great book called _Good Vibrations
Guide to Sex, The Most Complete Sex Manual Ever Written_. It is
great! Nice drawings, nice anecdotes from normal people, and some
of it is downright erotic without being smutty at all. I would
recommend you take a trip down to the store (San Pablo and
Dwight) and check it out. Good luck and have fun!
Check out The Guide To Getting It On. It is a great book, it may have more information than your after but it is very good, written with a sense of humor and covers sexuality from A to Z.
You should look into the books 101 Nights of Grrreat Romance and
101 Nights of Grrreat Sex, both are on AMazon.com or at Barnes
and Nobel. They are not so much sex manuals. They give ideas on
how to spice up the relationship. The format is that there are
50 envelopes for her and 50 envelopes for him. One night you
open up an envelope and do what it tells you (He can't peek at
it first) then the next time he opens up an envelope. Then there
is one extra envelope that you open together. Fun!Fun!
I recommend 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions
for Fun-Loving Couples
by Laura Corn
My husband and I have been having a good time with them.
Together you choose sealed pages, one labelled his and one
labelled hers (by the titles and icons indicating about how much
money you'll have to spend, if you'll have to go somewhere, etc.)
then you promise each other that you'll make that scenario
happen. She has you drop hints or leave messages about what is
going to happen later to create anticipation. Each one has a
small technique or guidelines on how to make it work. Mostly it
gets you thinking about each other and planning on having a good
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