Therapists for Help with Parenting
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Therapists for Help with Parenting
Jan 2012
Looking for a co-parent counselor in the Pinole-Ricmond - Berkeley
area. I find myself in a bad situation with my son's absentee dad and
his controlling second wife. She has pushed him into court with me
after 8 years of him not being a much of a participatory dad, my son
is 8. I was ignorant and did not protect myself legally when my son
was born. My son seems ok but this is all new to me and having to now
share custody and some decision making after always doing it solo is
really tough. What makes it harder is she is doing all the
communication as him through his email - I have proof - so there is no
communication between me and my son's dad. I realize this is a
different scenario as there was no marriage or relationship to begin
with, but I really want to know if others have been in this situation
and I want to do right by my son. Any advice out there or counselor
recommendations would be most appreciated.
Tired of being angry
There are some things that are basic to a co-parenting
relationship, and one of these is communication -- with the
co-parent, and not primarily the co-parent's spouse. I
would recommend this: face-to-face communication with your
son's Dad and a mediator, asking that at least the first
meeting occur with just the Dad. Your son's Dad's wife is
not a parent in this situation. A mediator who also has a
therapist function would probably be best, given the dynamic
with the wife. She seems intent either on upholding what
she perceives as her husband's rights or becoming a mother
to your child, which is overstepping an important boundary.
There are big emotional issues involved, so I would
recommend Eva Herzer (510-526-5146) or Larry Rosen
(http://www.throughunderstanding.com), who are both
understanding and insightful mediators and expert on the law. divorced mom
I highly recommend Yvonne Mansell(510) 528-9551 in Albany.
Co- parenting is one of her areas of specialization. She is
a gifted and warm therapist, and I have no doubt she can
help. Best wishes to you.
Marie
Dec 2011
Looking for a professional who can fill a multi purpose role: a therapist,
parenting coach, advisor, and mentor. I am gay with long term partner and
have two children under 5. I would really like this person to be a parent
(preferably of more than one child) who is open, non judgemental and has a
great sense of humor.
I would highly recommend Laura Goldberger. I think she
would fulfill what you're looking for. She helped us (a
lesbian couple) a lot with couples issues and a range of
parenting advice. Her website is lauragoldberger.com and
phone is 510-665-7755
Ben Ringler would be ideal for what you are looking for.
Here is his webpage:
http://www.benringler.com
anon
Oct 2011
Looking for a good co-parent counselor for parents of a 3 year
old, separate households since birth, in the Berkeley/Oakland or
Lamorinda area, any suggestions? anon
Contact Julia Wallace at http://juliawallace.com/ Julia
has been a great help to not only my wife and I, but several
of our friends as well. We have been seeing her for several
years, whenever we have a communication breakdown or just
need the input and guidance of a neutral 3rdparty. Julia is
also co-parenting, so she really gets what you are
experiencing. She's awesome. She can also provide
referrals to counselors in your exact area, if you are
unable to travel to see her in the city. anon
Aug 2011
My partner and I are looking for some guidance to help us with our
18-month old's behavior. He has always been sensitive and needed
extra love and attention and prone to angry outbursts, but lately
things have deteriorated to almost-constant screaming tantrums,
hitting, and biting. We realize that these are on the spectrum of
normal toddler behaviors, but with a 2.5 year old also needing our
attention, we have been totally unsuccessful in redirecting and/or
soothing him. We've both been frustrated and losing our patience
with him, which I'm sure makes things worse I'm looking for either
a class or therapist experienced in coaching parents through these
phases. Any recommendations or suggestions would be greatly
appreciated!
I'm sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. What a challenge.
Asking for coaching so you can meet his needs is a wonderful perspective.
JFCS (Jewish Family and Children's services http://is.gd/w171To) offers
counseling to families with young children. They are particularly trained
and skilled at helping very young children and their parents. I would
encourage you to call them and set up an appointment to determine how
they might help.
Wishing you well.
April 2010
After 2 mediation sessions in 2 years, the court is now
recommending that the father of my child and I go to co-
parenting classes. Having a hard time finding local
recommendations. I am located in El Cerrito and the
father is in Richmond. We share a 4 1/2 year old
daughter.
Stalemate
I know a highly renowned therapist who works not only with kids (older than
your daughter), but also quite brilliantly with couples to support their kids.
His name is Lenny Levis and he works out of Berkeley: My
husband and I have worked with him to support our son - very successfully.
5105405052
I am also very familiar with the work of an amazing woman whom I've
consulted
on parenting issues as well as personal: Mary Duryee. I have heard from many
people that she does brilliant work with couples around parenting and
mediation, and she knows the court processes very well. The problem is that
she
works out of Oakland. I think her assistance is totally worth the drive, but
your
schedule may not be able to accommodate this extra mileage. Her number is
510.839.7080
ANON
I'm sure other people will recommend them as well, but
Kids
Turn (kidsturn.org) offers co-parenting classes. You might
have to wait a couple of months for one that fits your
schedule, but I found the classes to be really helpful. Just
being in the same room with other divorced parents was
really useful, and Kids Turn gives some good tips and tricks
about how to make things go more smoothly. Kids go to
classes too -- one of my daughters found the class useful,
but the other one didn't get much out of it.
anon
Oct 2009
I've done therapy and I've been in parenting classes, now I want a combo of the two.
It
seems like when I've been in therapy, therapists are not too keen on talking
extensively
about what to do as a parent, what I might be doing wrong or right, what I can do to
correct my issues, and how to address concerns I have with my children as they grow.
Generally, I get some polite amounts of time to talk about this kind of stuff here and
there in a session, but not exclusively and not time after time.
I didn't have the best role models and I can feel a lot of bad patterns from my own
parents creeping up in my parenting.
Can anyone recommend at therapist that would indulge my need to really discuss
parenting issues and stages of development for children as well as children's needs.
Also, can you recommend someone who might take Aetna insurance? Thanks.
Need parenting therapy
Try Michael Simon at Practical Advice for Parents
http://practicalhelpforparents.com/
Nancy
Stacy Stoddard! 510.496.2733. Stacy worked A LOT with me and my partner around
parenting stuff. She's very down to earth, and she would always let me talk about what
I wanted to talk about. She has her own kids, too, so I always liked knowing that.
a better parent
Oct 2008
Hello,
I am a single mom of 3 year old. I am truely frustrated and
helpless about the situation about what my daughter is going
through. Recently, when my ex comes to pick up our daughter,
she refuses to go. Even before he comes, when I tell her that
her daddy is coming today she will start crying and not wanting
to go. Past couple weeks have been really, really hard. She
will cry and scream ''mommy, I don't wanna go'' ''I want to
stay''. I see her eyes with streams of tears and hearing her
screaming for me are just heartaching experience. But there is
nothing I can do. He will just tells me ''just give to me'' and
takes her from my arm. I know she will be OK, but it's been
really hard to deal with this...I know I have to be strong for
her, but it's been really hard. Are there any therapist that I
can see and may be talk about my feelings and frustration? I
don't know what to do with myself. I need help...
S
Sevin Philips is great. http://www.sftherapy.org/
anon
I highly recommend Chris Weipert, whose office is in Noe Valley
(Church & Duncan). Her phone number is 415-710-6769. One of her
specialties is working with parents of young children. She's warm
and understanding and makes you feel comfortable. She has a website
for more information: www.chrisweipert.com. Good luck.
Been there
my heart really goes out to you! it's not easy to have conflict
and additional guilt and worry from your child's preference bearing
down on you. my advice for dealing with your daughter is to make a
point of telling her that you love her no matter what and that you
will be with her again soon and never leave her. i then turn these
statements into questions to drive it home, just asking her
basically if she feels loved, if she needs more hugs... i'm sure
you do all this, and that's why she wants to hang onto you. you
might also tell her that it's okay for her to love you and daddy,
that you will not be mad at her for loving him and that you
understand that it's hard right now. you might tell her that while
you and daddy aren't getting along, that has nothing to do with her
and that you both will love her always. if he's on the same page
and can say the same, it may help, and don't just say it once. say
it a lot! maybe you two can work it out so that you hug her goodb!
ye and then amicably hand her over. can he let her call if she's
missing you? (he probably wants to grab her and go, since it's
uncomfortable for all of you). my partner and i have experienced
this in a smaller version, because whenever we bicker, she's all
about mom and wants nothing to do with dad. she can be cruel! i
basically interpret this as she's picking sides and puts her
positive feelings about him at bay to be loyal to her #1 person.
(i'm guessing you're it, and so she wants to show you she's loyal).
it takes my daughter a long time to get over any argument and trust
him again, (and i mean days!) and i take it that your girl is just
being her smart and sensitive self too. one question, did this
kind of preference happen in a smaller way before the split, like
did she prefer you in more subtle ways during conflict? one more
thing with your daughter, speak very well of him in front of her
and promote their relationship.
on looking for a therapist,
perhaps
you can seek counseling through ucsf. there's a great
psychoanalyst named jeanne leary. she's pretty limited to adoption, but she might
be able to give referrals. i only saw her once, but she's the
smartest therapist i've ever encountered. she sliced through my
issues like butter... lots of good wishes to you. don't forget to
take mommy time, massage, a good book, sit on the beach and do
nothing, get a babysitter or ask family/friends for help watching
her. give her special time on a regular basis (weekly or monthly)
with just the two of you at fairyland or some other magical place.
tabs
I highly recommend Janna Wissler, MFT. I saw her for individual and
then couples counselling, and I think she is just amazing.
Here's her website: http://www.beinghuman.us/
and here's the Yelp review I wrote of her:
Midwife to the birth of new consciousness, Janna accompanies you
where you didn't think you had the courage to go. Right down
through all the sh*t and blood and guts, Janna bears witness to the
unfolding of truth. During my year+ of therapy with Janna
(individual and couples) she has taught me to honor those dark and
messy places as part the beauty of being human. Ready for
transformation? I highly recommend jumping in with this brilliant
woman.
Cynthia
Oct 2008
Does anyone have a recommendation for a doctor or counselor who
specializes in teaching parents to parent? Someone to discuss parenting
issues and to get advice from on how to parent in different situations?
Any recommendations would be helpful!
Parent in need of advice
I started working with a wonderful parenting counselor 4
years ago to help me understand and help my delightful but
very anxious child (she's now 8). I started with a group
parenting class with Leah Statman, who has an office in
Albany. Since then, I've met with Leah to work on parenting
issues and for help crafting a parenting agreement during my
divorce, to discuss all kinds of parenting issues with her
one-on-one, to attend some of her ongoing parent support
groups, and to do touch work (Jin Shin Jyutsu) for both my
daughter and myself. Leah has a deeply healing and positive,
optimistic presence, is deeply practical and creative in
truly bringing parents into harmony with each other,
themselves and their kids. My favorite thing about Leah is
that she always has an insight about how to ''get through''
or find the next step, or find the truth of a situation and
then work with it. She is an invaluable resource for me and
my family. I cannot recommend her highly enough. Her
website is www.leahstatman.com and her phone is
510-525-5080. You are welcome to email me if you have any
questions.
Karin
Feb 2008
I'm not sure whether to post this in Advice or Recommendations. We have
three kids (5, 7 and 10) who are mostly friendly, loving, well-behaved
kids, but lately our family feels a little dysfunctional. We have
generally avoided punishments and strict rules, but I'm wondering if we
need better boundaries. The kids frequently hit each other and make each
other cry. The older two gang up on the younger one. They sometimes shout
NO when we ask them to do something. They cry (a lot) when things go
wrong. I think we need a good behavioral therapist to coach us through
some gentle, solid methods of discipline. I'm not looking for months (let
alone years) of in-depth therapy, but rather a sane, no-nonsense approach
to behavior adjustment, delivered in a finite number of sessions. Can
anyone recommend someone? Thanks a lot.
Dysfunctional in Berkeley
I am really impressed with Elisa Dumensnil (the s is silent).
She is works with kids both in school settings and with kids and familiies.
She's very nice, really, she is!
510-338-4233 is her number
elisa923@yahoo.com
Father of Two
Call Elisa Dumesnil (pronounced Doomanell) at 510-338-4233. She's a mom,
she's an experienced therapist, and she's great with kids. I'm sure she
could give your family a tune-up.
Laura
Hi,
I think all families could use an occasional tune up! I am no expert on
child behavior, but I can recommend a book that I recently read and have
found helpful: ''Setting Limits with Your Srong WIlled Child'' by Robert J.
MacKenzie, ED.D.
Even if your kids are not especially strong willed, this book offers some
very practical ideas for how to change course in what the author refers to
as ''your family dance''. It's a fast read, so you have nothing to lose.
Michele
Sept 2007
Hi,
My ex and i need some help co parenting. Does anyone have recommendations for therapists that work
with families in this way? We need someone in the South bay, or the Peninsula.
Thanks
Hi, I can recommend a great Parenting consultant expert. Here is his info:
Matthew Van Lokeren
mvanlokeren@yahoo.com
415 203 7293
Hope it helps,
Ana
July 2007
I am looking for recommendations for a MFT to assist my child's
father and I with our co-parenting issues. Ideally I'm looking
for a female practitioner in the Alameda/Oakland/Berkeley area who is compassionate
and is skilled in helping parents better their communication.
Thank you.
nomorebabydaddydrama
I've been working with Dr. Marlene Winell for a while now and have come to
admire her skill greatly. She is a compassionate, honest, intelligent and
insightful woman with a breadth of knowledge about human development and
communication skills. She has made a profound impact in my husband and I's
relationship and I recommend her to anyone seeking help from a psychologist.
She's open to new clients and you can contact her at mwinell@gmail.com.
Hope it helps!!
H.
I would recommend that you call Christy Shepard. Christy is a MFT therapist
with offices in Berkeley and San Francisco, phone # 415-864-5186. She is
highly skilled with couples, related communication issues and all sorts of
parenting concerns.
anon
I've been working with Dr. Marlene Winell for a while now and have come to
admire her skill greatly. She is a compassionate, honest, intelligent and
insightful woman with a breadth of knowledge about human development and
communication skills. She has made a profound impact in my husband and I's
relationship and I recommend her to anyone seeking help from a psychologist.
She's open to new clients and you can contact her at mwinell@gmail.com.
Hope it helps!!
Helen
March 2005
I don't know if there is such a person but I am looking for
some type of parenting counselor who can help me work through
issues that I am having with my 4 year old. She is generally a
sweet loving child with a lot of energy and a very strong
will. While her teachers say she is well behaved she is not
well behaved with me. I am sure there are a lot of things that
we can find that contribute to her ''Dr. Jeckyl, Mr. Hyde''
behavior and I have read many books and practice the advice
found in them but really, nothing has worked very well. I keep
thinking that I need an outsider's POV to help me work through
this. I am not interested in a group class at this point but
some one-on-one advice. Any suggestions as to who that could
be?
Nearing my wits end
Jill Schugard is the person for you. She does groups adn private
parental counselling. She helped me and my husband a few years
ago with family dynamic issues and specific kid behaviors. She's
really good. We saw her 2 or 3 times. She gave us ''homework'' to
do and followup. She's great.
I do not have her number (sorry), but she is in the phone book.
If I remember, she's off of Solano in Berkeley. Good luck.
happier mom
Last spring we worked with Monica Frame, a licensed clinical
social worker in Albany, on some issues we (and her preschool)
had with our then-3 1/2-year-old daughter. We recommend her highly.
We (parents) met with Monica alone, then Monica had 3 or 4 ''play''
sessions with our daughter alone, and then we met again with
Monica alone. At our request, Monica also observed our daughter
at preschool. From this, Monica developed good insights into
both our daughter's personality and our parenting style. She
gave us several very helpful suggestions that we have been able
to use in a variety of parenting situations. Monica is low-key,
easy to talk to and a good listener. Our daughter was sad when
her visits to Monica were over.
Monica's number (as of last summer) is 504-8168. Feel free to
email me if you have questions or need more information.
r.
As a family therapist, I would venture to say that your 4-year-
old is doing what comes naturally -- testing her limits.
(Normal for her, but nevertheless frustrating for YOU!) I think
it's great that you want to seek some counseling/therapy around
all of this -- it's likely to be VERY helpful and it shows how
much you care about your daughter's emotional well-being. '
If I were your therapist, one of the first things I would be
interested in is your description that she seems to behave well
at school, but becomes challenging in the home. So, she's
testing you -- I would be curious about how you are responding
to her tests and whether or not there is any secondary gain for
her to continue to act out. (For instance, in some families,
children misbehave in order to draw attention and focus away
from fighting parents).
I would also want to know if anything major has changed in her
life recently (ie: new sibling, death in the family, illness,
change of neighborhood, new babysitter, parents fighting, etc).
4-year-olds are great at expressing their anxieties and
stresses through play -- so you might want to try some
directive activities with her. You could ask her to color a
picture showing what it's like to be mad! Or help her put on a
puppet show where the puppets talk about what kids can do when
they're sad. Encouraging your daughter to self-soothe (find
productive ways of managing her anxiety) will not only pay off
in the short-term - it will provide lifelong benefits!!
I've heard from friends that Meg Zweibek (don't know how she
spells it) can be quite helpful. If you can't find her phone
number in the book, call Bananas (child care referal) in oakland
and they are sure to have it. You are right in seeking help. It
is important for your child to act respectfully to all adults,
including you. Of course many of our children are better when
they are outside the home. But it is not okay for them to unload
un us parents too much. And it is good for us to know how to
teach them their limits, and get them to see how their actions
can really hurt those who they love.
- A mom with loving opinionated daughters
I have heard Rona Renner
speak about parenting pre-schoolers at my son's preschool and she is a very sensible
person with a helpful, non-judgemental problem-solving approach. She has a great sense
of humor too, which you need when you're feeling overwhelmed with parenting.
I know that she also
runs workshops for parents at Kaiser. I think she'd be a great
person to help with parenting skills.
I have also spoken with Meg Zweiback on the phone
about my troubles with a very demanding and difficult baby and she was
just great, so soothing and sensible. I know that people love her for her sleep and
toilet training advice, but she is also a very experienced parenting coach.
GO
July 2003
I need help and would like recommendations for someone
who can give me personal coaching and guidance
in handling the anger and rage I often experience with my 6-year-
old son. My once near perfect child has increasingly developed
behaviors that I consider totally unacceptable, and I have not
managed to either: a) steel myself to them and let them roll off
my back; or b) get him to stop them. As a result, I errupt with
rage and do things I am ashamed of. I am looking for someone
who can help me find ways to achieve some of both a
and b above. Many of the behaviors my son engages in are not
acceptable (many have to do with personal boundaries, like
licking me, twisting my nose, poking my eyes, and poking my
husband in the privates) and he truly needs to stop them. So I
need to find effective ways to stop these behaviors. But I also
need help channeling my anger and rage, which often have me
yelling as sternly and desperately as I can muster to my child,
and deeply wishing I could just whack him one.
Anonymous
My husband and I went to see a wonderful therapist (she calls
herself a nurse) at Kaiser Richmond, named
Rona Renner. She is
wonderful, and extremely thoughtful! She offered us sound and do-
able suggestions on how to deal with our seven year old son, as
well as insights into why he bahaved the way he does (what he is
feeling inside, and things that we can do or say that will help
him (and us)). If you have Kaiser insurance, I would RUN to her
immediately! The other possibilty is Jim Beatty, who offers
social skills workshops for boys. He is located on Eighth Street,
in Berkeley. His phone number is: 644-1788. He probably can't
help you, but he might help your son. As an aside, I, too, am not
proud of the anger I feel towards my son sometimes, but talking to
Rona Renner really helped. I hope you can get in to see her!
Everybody Needs Help Sometimes
Why not try a marriage family counselor who works with both children and
adults? I think that if you are clear about your goals, as you were in your post, you should be able to find someone to work with you around the specific behaviors that are pushing your buttons and to help you with your reactions.
It doesn't have to be long-term work, but developing a relationship with
someone you can go back to when you feel the need sounds like a good idea.
Susan
I would contact Inbal Kashtan at 510-530-5302. She is part of
the Bay Area Non-violent Communication community and specialises
in NVC Parenting. She has a NVC parenting group you can attend,
you can attend her classes and I'm sure you can see her
individually as well. She will help you identify your feelings
and needs as well as your son's and give you tools for being the
parent you want to be.
An NVC Parent
I would suggest Dr. Philip Gross in Albany. He works together
with his wife, Miriam, who is a LCSW. Dr. Gross meets with the
child to work on whatever behavior problems there are, and
Miriam meets with the parents to help them overcome whatever
issues they have. We recommend them highly.
anon
Hey, I hate to say this, but I have had great success taming my
rage at my middle son, who is ''spirited,'' by taking a light dose
of Lexapro, a SSRI (anti-depressant). I would not have
considered myself ''depressed,'' but my GP rec'mded the drug as
something to ''take the edge off'' and it has worked really well.
When I'm not so angry,I can better apply the standard parenting
techniques to handle the meltdowns and tantrums that were so
difficult for me. Just give it a thought.
Susan
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