Need help coping with child's distress

Hello, I am a single mom of 3 year old. I am truely frustrated and helpless about the situation about what my daughter is going through. Recently, when my ex comes to pick up our daughter, she refuses to go. Even before he comes, when I tell her that her daddy is coming today she will start crying and not wanting to go. Past couple weeks have been really, really hard. She will cry and scream ''mommy, I don't wanna go'' ''I want to stay''. I see her eyes with streams of tears and hearing her screaming for me are just heartaching experience. But there is nothing I can do. He will just tells me ''just give to me'' and takes her from my arm. I know she will be OK, but it's been really hard to deal with this...I know I have to be strong for her, but it's been really hard. Are there any therapist that I can see and may be talk about my feelings and frustration? I don't know what to do with myself. I need help... S

on looking for a therapist, perhaps you can seek counseling through ucsf. there's a great psychoanalyst named jeanne leary. she's pretty limited to adoption, but she might be able to give referrals. i only saw her once, but she's the smartest therapist i've ever encountered. she sliced through my issues like butter... lots of good wishes to you. don't forget to take mommy time, massage, a good book, sit on the beach and do nothing, get a babysitter or ask family/friends for help watching her. give her special time on a regular basis (weekly or monthly) with just the two of you at fairyland or some other magical place. tabs

Parenting Counselling?

Does anyone have a recommendation for a doctor or counselor who specializes in teaching parents to parent? Someone to discuss parenting issues and to get advice from on how to parent in different situations? Any recommendations would be helpful! Parent in need of advice

Our Family Needs a Tune-Up

I'm not sure whether to post this in Advice or Recommendations. We have three kids (5, 7 and 10) who are mostly friendly, loving, well-behaved kids, but lately our family feels a little dysfunctional. We have generally avoided punishments and strict rules, but I'm wondering if we need better boundaries. The kids frequently hit each other and make each other cry. The older two gang up on the younger one. They sometimes shout NO when we ask them to do something. They cry (a lot) when things go wrong. I think we need a good behavioral therapist to coach us through some gentle, solid methods of discipline. I'm not looking for months (let alone years) of in-depth therapy, but rather a sane, no-nonsense approach to behavior adjustment, delivered in a finite number of sessions. Can anyone recommend someone? Thanks a lot. Dysfunctional in Berkeley

My ex and i need some help co parenting

Hi, My ex and i need some help co parenting. Does anyone have recommendations for therapists that work with families in this way? We need someone in the South bay, or the Peninsula. Thanks

Therapist for Co-parenting Issues

I am looking for recommendations for a MFT to assist my child's father and I with our co-parenting issues. Ideally I'm looking for a female practitioner in the Alameda/Oakland/Berkeley area who is compassionate and is skilled in helping parents better their communication. Thank you. nomorebabydaddydrama

Need some one-on-one advice on my parenting

I don't know if there is such a person but I am looking for some type of parenting counselor who can help me work through issues that I am having with my 4 year old. She is generally a sweet loving child with a lot of energy and a very strong will. While her teachers say she is well behaved she is not well behaved with me. I am sure there are a lot of things that we can find that contribute to her ''Dr. Jeckyl, Mr. Hyde'' behavior and I have read many books and practice the advice found in them but really, nothing has worked very well. I keep thinking that I need an outsider's POV to help me work through this. I am not interested in a group class at this point but some one-on-one advice. Any suggestions as to who that could be? Nearing my wits end

We (parents) met with Monica alone, then Monica had 3 or 4 ''play'' sessions with our daughter alone, and then we met again with Monica alone. At our request, Monica also observed our daughter at preschool. From this, Monica developed good insights into both our daughter's personality and our parenting style. She gave us several very helpful suggestions that we have been able to use in a variety of parenting situations. Monica is low-key, easy to talk to and a good listener. Our daughter was sad when her visits to Monica were over.

Monica's number (as of last summer) is 504-8168. Feel free to email me if you have questions or need more information. r.

If I were your therapist, one of the first things I would be interested in is your description that she seems to behave well at school, but becomes challenging in the home. So, she's testing you -- I would be curious about how you are responding to her tests and whether or not there is any secondary gain for her to continue to act out. (For instance, in some families, children misbehave in order to draw attention and focus away from fighting parents).

I would also want to know if anything major has changed in her life recently (ie: new sibling, death in the family, illness, change of neighborhood, new babysitter, parents fighting, etc).

4-year-olds are great at expressing their anxieties and stresses through play -- so you might want to try some directive activities with her. You could ask her to color a picture showing what it's like to be mad! Or help her put on a puppet show where the puppets talk about what kids can do when they're sad. Encouraging your daughter to self-soothe (find productive ways of managing her anxiety) will not only pay off in the short-term - it will provide lifelong benefits!!

I have also spoken with Meg Zweiback on the phone about my troubles with a very demanding and difficult baby and she was just great, so soothing and sensible. I know that people love her for her sleep and toilet training advice, but she is also a very experienced parenting coach. GO

Personal coach for parenting 6-year-old

I need help and would like recommendations for someone who can give me personal coaching and guidance in handling the anger and rage I often experience with my 6-year- old son. My once near perfect child has increasingly developed behaviors that I consider totally unacceptable, and I have not managed to either: a) steel myself to them and let them roll off my back; or b) get him to stop them. As a result, I errupt with rage and do things I am ashamed of. I am looking for someone who can help me find ways to achieve some of both a and b above. Many of the behaviors my son engages in are not acceptable (many have to do with personal boundaries, like licking me, twisting my nose, poking my eyes, and poking my husband in the privates) and he truly needs to stop them. So I need to find effective ways to stop these behaviors. But I also need help channeling my anger and rage, which often have me yelling as sternly and desperately as I can muster to my child, and deeply wishing I could just whack him one. Anonymous