Berkeley Parents Network: Therapists for Help with Parenting

Berkeley Parents Network

Therapists for Help with Parenting

Berkeley Parents Network > Reviews > Therapists, Counseling , & Support Groups > Therapists for Help with Parenting

Personal coach for parenting 6-year-old

July 2003

I need help and would like recommendations for someone who can give me personal coaching and guidance in handling the anger and rage I often experience with my 6-year- old son. My once near perfect child has increasingly developed behaviors that I consider totally unacceptable, and I have not managed to either: a) steel myself to them and let them roll off my back; or b) get him to stop them. As a result, I errupt with rage and do things I am ashamed of. I am looking for someone who can help me find ways to achieve some of both a and b above. Many of the behaviors my son engages in are not acceptable (many have to do with personal boundaries, like licking me, twisting my nose, poking my eyes, and poking my husband in the privates) and he truly needs to stop them. So I need to find effective ways to stop these behaviors. But I also need help channeling my anger and rage, which often have me yelling as sternly and desperately as I can muster to my child, and deeply wishing I could just whack him one. Anonymous

My husband and I went to see a wonderful therapist (she calls herself a nurse) at Kaiser Richmond, named Rona Renner. She is wonderful, and extremely thoughtful! She offered us sound and do- able suggestions on how to deal with our seven year old son, as well as insights into why he bahaved the way he does (what he is feeling inside, and things that we can do or say that will help him (and us)). If you have Kaiser insurance, I would RUN to her immediately! The other possibilty is Jim Beatty, who offers social skills workshops for boys. He is located on Eighth Street, in Berkeley. His phone number is: 644-1788. He probably can't help you, but he might help your son. As an aside, I, too, am not proud of the anger I feel towards my son sometimes, but talking to Rona Renner really helped. I hope you can get in to see her! Everybody Needs Help Sometimes

Why not try a marriage family counselor who works with both children and adults? I think that if you are clear about your goals, as you were in your post, you should be able to find someone to work with you around the specific behaviors that are pushing your buttons and to help you with your reactions. It doesn't have to be long-term work, but developing a relationship with someone you can go back to when you feel the need sounds like a good idea. Susan

I would contact Inbal Kashtan at 510-530-5302. She is part of the Bay Area Non-violent Communication community and specialises in NVC Parenting. She has a NVC parenting group you can attend, you can attend her classes and I'm sure you can see her individually as well. She will help you identify your feelings and needs as well as your son's and give you tools for being the parent you want to be. An NVC Parent

I would suggest Dr. Philip Gross in Albany. He works together with his wife, Miriam, who is a LCSW. Dr. Gross meets with the child to work on whatever behavior problems there are, and Miriam meets with the parents to help them overcome whatever issues they have. We recommend them highly. anon

Hey, I hate to say this, but I have had great success taming my rage at my middle son, who is ''spirited,'' by taking a light dose of Lexapro, a SSRI (anti-depressant). I would not have considered myself ''depressed,'' but my GP rec'mded the drug as something to ''take the edge off'' and it has worked really well. When I'm not so angry,I can better apply the standard parenting techniques to handle the meltdowns and tantrums that were so difficult for me. Just give it a thought. Susan

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