Berkeley Parents Network: Therapists for Mothers' Issues

Berkeley Parents Network

Therapists for Mothers' Issues

Berkeley Parents Network > Reviews > Therapists, Counseling , & Support Groups > Therapists for Mothers' Issues

Questions

Depression during & after pregnancy
Exhausted mother of two young children
Working Mother
New mom with old baggage to sort through

Related pages:

March 2000

Can anyone recommend a therapist/psychiatrist for my daughter. We are on HealthNet. My daughter was once diagnosed with a tendency toward depression (in fifth grade) but because the doctor thought we might be dealing with adolescent hormonal things he opted not to treat her. This was a mistake. Many years later after much heartache my daughter got pregnant and her whole disposition changed. She became once again the sunny personality she was as a child. I was very happy and welcoming of this thinking we were finally over that "stage" She's turning 20 in a few days. However now, just a few short weeks after the birth of her child I see the dark sad moods have come upon her again, though she loves her baby dearly and is a good mother. The sunshine is gone again and I need to get her help.

Recommendations received:

Shoshana Bennett

Exhausted mother of two young children

Sept 1999

If there are any bulletin subscribers that have seen either Fran Diyan or Esther Brass for psychotherapy, I would welcome any comments. Both names were given to me as referrals for therapy from CARE services. I am dealing with some transitional work issues as well as those around being in my 40's and the married mother of two young children, being frequently exhausted, etc. On the other hand, if anyone out there has seen other therapists (I am with Health Net) that they would recommend for the above issues, I would welcome any and all comments. I live in the Berkeley area, but could travel within 5 miles or so as needed for appointments. Thank you.

Recommendations received:

Esther Brass

Fran Diyan

Gina Hassan

Working Mothers

June 1999 I am looking for recommendations for a therapist that supports and is sensitive to working mothers (ideally, someone with experience with the particular challenges of academia), can help with issues having to do with stress and time management, as well as deeper, emotional issues, and offers a sliding scale. Any suggestions?

Recommendations received:

Michael Simon

New mom with old baggage to sort through

July 1999

I'm a new first-time mom with a 3 month old baby and I'm looking for recommendations for a good therapist in the Berkeley area who can help me sort through all of the baggage of my own childhood/mal-adjusted family so that I can hopefully be a better parent to my child. I'd like it to be somebody who is also experienced with all of the issues of lost identity as well as lost time and "control of my life". Not to mention, the struggles of the new relationship that my husband and I are trying to get a grip on. (i.e., is it "normal" for a husband and wife relationship to go through such a hard adjustment period?????) Any recommendations on therapist and words of encouragement are greatly appreciated! Thanks to you all.

Recommendations received:

Alameda Family Services

Sherry Reinhardt (2)

Women's Therapy Center

Other advice:

As to whether the adjustment is hard, yes, yes, yes! Your relationship is very different from what it was. Your patterns are all out of whack. Even if you talked a great deal about what family means and what kind of family you want to have, there will always be subconscious/unspoken fears and expectations on BOTH your parts. Your husband has his issues too, even if he had a "normal" upbringing. But it can work out. In my experience, even to BEGIN working on the problems brought relief.

I can't recommend a Berkeley therapist, but I would like to comment on the rest of your message. I also grew up in a dysfunctional family and wanted to learn to interact in a more healthy way with my , by that time, pre-teen daughter. Things were getting more difficult between us and I felt I didn't know the "right " ways to nurture a teen who, of course, pushed the limits often. I felt I was a loving mother, but that I had raised her using some of the methods my parents used, which were much too critical and judgmental. I feel this affected her self-confidence. I was able, through Xanthos, a wonderful nonprofit organization in Alameda to arrange for family counseling for my daughter and myself. They work with a sliding scale pay system and have wonderful interns and accredited therapists. Their phone # is (510) 522-8363. I can personally recommend Dr. Debra Capwell. My daughter got on well with the therapist and so she started seeing her alone after about 6 weeks. I then began therapy ,with a different therapist, to work on my parenting issues. I also worked on my self-image/self-worth issues (which were not nurtured as a child) and (major) problems I was having in my romantic relationship. I went to therapy for about two years, and it all boiled down to one main issue!! When I started looking at my personal and work relationships, both past and present, it became obvious that my self-worth /self-image/insecurities were the root cause. If you don't feel good about yourself, you don't believe anyone else does either. You distrust people and their motives. You, perhaps are very defensive and confrontational. You feel that you have to be in control of every situation, and don't know when, or how to back down, etc. My boyfriend and I had a few sessions together, also. I can safely say that I feel much better about myself now and my relationships show that. I can now deal with my daughter in a relatively calm manner (usually). My boyfriend and I have been together for four years now, and this last year has been much quieter! We argued and fought alot the first two years especially. My regret in all this, is that I desperately wish I had gotten therapy MUCH earlier in my adult life!!! Things in general would have been much easier for me (and others in my life), I'm absolutely sure!!!

I strongly urge you to go to therapy, both as a couple and separately. Be sure not to use the same therapist for couples and personal therapy. That happened to us at first, and it didn't work out well!! If your husband won't go, go by yourself!!! This is especially important, because many of the issues revolve around you feeling better about yourself, and that is something only YOU and your therapist can resolve. Sorry this is so long (and personal), but my heart went out to you when I read your message! I felt it was essential to answer in this way!! I wish you the best of luck!!

You might also check out the book, "When Partners become Parents," by Philip and Carolyn Cowan, family therapists/professors from UC Berkeley. Especially enlightening is their forthrightness in describing their own difficult transition to parenthood and the stresses it added to their relationship. The book describes research done with a large sample of couples both before and after the birth of their first babies and should be a relief to anyone worried that it's abnormal for the couple relationship to feel strained with the onset of parenthood!

There are so many fine therapists in this area and I am sure others will
post here.  I will note a few of the many reliable people who I think
might be of help. 
Women Therapists who do individual and couple support:
Gayle Peterson  526-5951
Allison Ehara Brown 525-1635
Gail Alter    433-2972
Leah Fisher  527-0107

Men who offer Fathers Groups and Couple Support:
Marti Sochet  930-9350
Bruce Linton  644-0300

Warmly,
Sherry Reinhardt, RN,MPH,MOM
Support Services for Parents

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