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Support for Grief & Loss

Berkeley Parents Network > Reviews > Therapists, Counseling , & Support Groups > Support for Grief & Loss



Post-stillbirth grief counselor

Jan 2008

I lost a baby at 20 weeks a year ago and am having major fears about trying to have another child because the grief was so severe. I have been blessed with one healthy child, but the unexplained loss that I had has made trying to conceive again very stressful. Can anyone recommend a counselor - preferably in SF, but I would go anywhere to see the right person -- who has addressed these multiple issues? Thanks so much. Anon


First, I want to say I am very sorry for your loss. I had a stillbirth 3 years ago this month and have not had children before or since due to fertility issues despite my being under 30. I can recommended a therapist by the name of Donna Rothert. She facilitated a support group on pregnancy loss and also saw patients individually. I saw her in both capacities over the course of 10 months in 2006-07. She has offices in Oakland's Rockridge district and in Walnut Creek though I only saw her in Oakland because I'm on this side of the hills. She is very knowledgeable on infant loss, miscarriage and stillbirth. More than anyone I have ever seen. http://www.donnarothert.com/ Grieving Mama
The therapists at Perinatal Psychotherapy Services (Donna Rothert, Gina Hassan, and Lee Safran) are wonderful. They deal with pregnancy loss issues all the time. They are in Berkeley, and may be worth the trip, or they may know excellent people in SF. Good luck. You're not alone. http://www.perinatalpsychotherapy.com/
I am sorry for your loss. Having gone through a stillbirth and 2 subsequent pregnancies, I totally recommend counseling to support you through the process. I saw Kim Kluger-Bell. She is warm, understanding and knowledgeable. She has written a book about pregnancy loss and is well known in the field. She is in Berkeley on Solano Ave. I wish you peace on your journey. Been There Too
I'm so sorry for your loss. I missed your original post, so I don't know if you have heard of SAND (stands for support after neonatal death), a support group run through Alta Bates Hospital. I started going to SAND in 1982, close to a year after losing my first child to premature birth and several months after starting work with a grief counselor. I didn't go earlier because I couldn't imagine that hearing many different stories about losing a baby would make me feel better, especially since I was having trouble conceiving again. However, SAND proved to be invaluable in my emotional recovery from the loss and subsequent infertility. First, I met women with similar stories which helped me set aside ''what if.'' (What if he had been a girl, what if I were of a different ethnic category, what if I had gone to the doctor sooner, what if he had received treatment at a different hospital...We were all at risk.) I was encouraged by the women going through successful 2nd (or 3rd or more) pregnancies. I received incredible support for moving on--through adoption and (10 years later) a birth as well. I went to SAND regularly for about 2 years. According to the website, SAND meets from 7:00 to 9:00 pm on the first and third Wednesdays of each month at 3030 Telegraph Ave. (at Webster St.) in Berkeley. It is free and registration is not required. For more information, call (510) 204-1571. I wish you the best in finding the help you need and in growing your family. Sympathetic mom

Grief support for 10-year-old - father's suicide

October 2007

I am looking for a grief support group in or near Berkeley. My daughters father committed suicide two weeks ago. We have been seperated for five years but were on good terms. My daughter is 10. I called suicide prevention but they don't deal with grief. I have called many numbers and a: got no return call (800)260-0094 b: number out of service c: told suicide is too specific. We are having a hard time due to the violence of his death. I am waiting for my daughters school to refer a psychologist but am interested in a group of others who have this unfortunate experience. Alta Bates refered Pathways but haven't been able to get through yet. I keep calling numbers that are refered and then they refer and on only to be told finally that they don't deal with suicide or better yet they do but in Los Angeles. Does anyone have RECENT experience and phone numbers? Having a hard time


Sutter VNA & Hospice in Emeryville has a number of bereavement support groups. I looked on their website, but didn't see any groups for children. Perhaps they would have a referral for you. Also, Jewish Family & Children's Services in Berkeley may have a good referral. Have you considered family or child counseling in the interim until you find a support group for your daughter? Wishing you healing.
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Try contacting the Bereavement Counselor at Zen Hospice Project. I'm sure she'll be about to refer you to a kid's group. When I volunteered there we had a kid's group meet in the guest house, but I don't think they still run that program. http://www.zenhospice.org/15_bereavement_services/bereavement-services.htm Jennifer
I am so sorry to hear about your and your daughter's loss. My husband died about a year ago, and I wondered how to help my two kids (then 7 and 4) deal with their grief and loss. I found a counselor who was experienced in grief counseling for children, and got the kids and I enrolled in a support group. I strongly recommend doing both individual and group.

I felt very fortunate to find the East Bay Agency for Children's Circle of Care program. They conduct free biweekly support groups for families who have experienced a loss. It was good for my kids to be exposed to others who had also been through a loss. A 10-year-old would have been right within the ages covered. They had kids from around 4 through 11 or 12 as I recall. I, too, found it really helpful to talk to other parents about the experience of grieving with kids. They meet in the evenings and serve pizza, and do ask for contributions to defray the food cost. They conducted the children's and parents' sessions concurrently. They are located in Oakland, and many Berkeley families participate. Here is a link:

http://www.ebac.org/programs/circle/index.asp

My other thought is to contact hospices in the Berkeley area. They also often provide family grief support groups (there is one in Dublin that I am aware of (Hope Hospice).

I don't know if you have a counselor for your daughter, but I also highly recommend Jan Dombrower, but she is in Hayward (510) 537-8630) and that might be a bit far for you. Grief counseling for children is one of her specialties, and she was very helpful to me and my children after their loss. A couple nice things she did for them: worked with them to create ''memory'' boxes where they could store small items that remind them of their dad. And one day they decorated helium balloons for their dad and then released them into the sky.

Again, my deepest sympathies. Ellen


Call Circle of Care , 510-531-7551 in Oakland. They have really wonderful support groups for familes who have experienced the death of a parent. There are usually other kids in the groups who have had a parent die of suicide - which helps tremendously. You'll have to do a brief phone interview, and then meet with a counselor. Groups are on weeknight evenings, in Oakland near the Mormon temple. Can't reccomend Circle of Care highly enough. good luck

Grief Counseling for loss of my Mother

April 2007

My mother recently passed away. Can anyone recommend a grief counselor in the East Bay? I would be interested in seeing someone who is also great with working with family dynamics. Thank you anon


Sheryl Sheets on College Ave near Ashby is great for grief counseling for loss of a mother. She has an MFT. I worked with her during my mother's terminal illness and after my mother's death. She was at (510) 549-9297. Anon
I have been working through the loss of my father and also my my feelings regarding my aging mother with Yvonne Mansell who specializes in death and dying, mindful parenting, and menopause. I have found the work manageable due to her ablilty to bring compassion, honesty, and at times, humor into most difficult moments. She offers individual and group sessions. Her office is in Albany and you can visit her website at www.yvonnemansell.com Best of luck to you.
Howard Lunche is an incredible grief counselor. He reallly helped me understand and manage my immense grief after my husband died. He also wrote a book about grief that I gave to the people around me so they could understand what was happening with me. I very highly reccomend him as a caring and compassionate therapist. his number is 841-2930 and his office is in berkeley.

Therapy or Support for Loss of Spouse

Feb 2007

I am looking for some grief support, in a group setting, for my mother who recently lost her husband unexpectedly. While she is a Christian, I think a nonreligious based group would be better. She lives in the east bay, so somewhere between Richmond and Oakland would be preferable. Please let me know if you can suggest a supportive environment of people that are going through the same heart-ache and loss. Posting or personal email are fine. Thank you for reading. K


I'm so sorry about your loss. Our church, First Presbyterian Church, Berkeley, has a group. I think it's not overly religious but it does have some very kind people in it. I hope she'll give it a try. http://www.fpcberkeley.org/widows_widowers.asp
s.
I know this isn't quite what you asked for but since your mom is a Christian, one option is to call some local churches to see if she could be paired with a Stephen Minister. Stephen Ministers are lay-persons who are trained to walk with someone in a time of crisis or pain. They are NOT there to ply a hurting person with platitudes about suffering, but to really listen to the sadness, anger, guilt, etc., as a person in crisis is experiencing it, giving them a safe place to grieve. They generally meet once a week for as long as they are needed. First Presbyterian Church of Berkeley has Stephen Minister (in case you need a place to start), but Stephen Ministries spans many denominations. Erin

Support Group for parents who h ave lost a child

Feb 2007

Dear BPN members, I am a pediatrician and am writing to see if anyone knows of any support groups or therapists for parents who have lost a child. Unfortunately, I only know of some in Oakland or Berkeley, but the family lives in Tracy, but would travel to Pleasanton or Castro Valley easily. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you, Laura


Hi -- I would start with Compassionate Friends (www.compassionatefriends.org) - they are a national organization with many local chapters. Most local chapters have a weekly support group and they can also help connect to other resources. eva
Please check out Circle of Care (http://www.ebac.org/programs/circle/groups.asp) - this is an organization specializing in grief, loss and trauma. They have groups appropriate for living with loss and living with illness for all age groups and they offer these services for free. They are located in Oakland. Buddy

Grief support for young mother

June 2003

I'm writing on behalf of my next door neighbor with a two year old daughter whose husband was recently killed riding his bicycle to work. She is very interested in talking with other parents who have lost partners while their children were young. Does anyone know of a grief support group and/or individuals who have been through this experience who she can talk with, commiserate with, get some perspective. Any ideas or referrals welcome. Thanks in advance - Julie


Ann Martin Children's Center has a bereavement program that helps families cope with the loss of a parent --call 655-7880 and ask for Linda Cozzerelli, LCSW
The best option for grief support groups in our community is Circle of Care, formerly know as PediatriCare. They provide services to children starting with toddlers on throught teenagers. Groups focus on illness of a parent or death of a parent. Groups are held concurrently so parents meet in their group and at the same time kids meet in theirs. They are located in Oakland. Their number is 510-531-7551. Good luck.
I am so sorry to hear about your neighbor's tragic loss. That is truly awful and how kind of you to find support for her. VNA Hospice has a wonderful bereavement support program. Their phone number for the east bay program is (510) 450-8596. Their website is http://vnahnc.org/support/. Hope this is helpful. Hannah
The Center for Attitudinal Healing (based in Marin but I believe have various groups around the Bay Area) also provides bereavement support. Their website is http://www.localcommunities.org/servlet/lc_ProcServ/dbpage=page&mode=display&gid=01004011550947263615155189 and their phone number is 415-331-6161. Hope this is helpful. Hannah
There is a great group called Namaste which provides free grief counseling. I worked with them about 10 years ago. They may not be active any more--if they are you should be able to find them in the Berkeley Phone book under the name ''namaste''.

Support Group for teens who have lost a parent

July 2002

My 17-year-old stepdaughter lost her mother to cancer two years ago, and while she is a strong and courageous young woman who is healing well, she might benefit from some peer support. Does anyone know of a support group for teens who have lost parents? Thanks! Amy


Editor note: There are some previous recommendations about this: "PediatriCare, a program of East Bay Agency for Children, offers support groups and home based counseling services for families coping with illness, bereavement or loss...." PediatriCare also "Grief Counseling"
The Women's Cancer Resource Center in Berkeley has a support group for teens who have a parent with cancer. They may be a good resource for a grief support group as well. Their phone number is: (510) 548-9272.

Alta Bates Comprehensive Cancer Center would also be a good resource: they offer a variety of support groups. Phone: (510) 204-1591.


Therapist needed for recent traumas

November 2001

I need to find a grief counselor for some recent traumas, The following names were recommended to me. Does anybody know anything about the following counselors? Georgia Schwimmer, Albany Roberta Stern, Berkeley Marilyn Girard, Berkeley Deborah Scott, Berkeley


I don't have information about any of the names you posted, but I thought I'd recommend another therapist in case you're interested, because I found him so extremely helpful. I saw Howard Lunche (LCSW) for bereavement counseling after my brother died, and I can't say enough good things about him. He balanced his listening and talking very well, he remembered every single detail I ever told him about my brother, and he seemed to have perfect insight into how I was feeling and the development of my grief process. One last thing (and take it for what it's worth--I don't know if this describes your situation)... I noticed that all the people you listed were women... when I was looking for a grief counselor, I thought I would prefer a woman, but I decided I'd interview all 3 of the people I'd been referred to (including Howard). But even in that initial phone call, Howard was head and shoulders above the others. He's in the phone book... give him a call. Kristine
For the person requesting recommendations for grief counselors, although not on your list, I would like to recommend a therapist who helped me work through some extremely difficult issues around my father's death. His name is Howard Lunche, and he is an MSW in private practice specializing in grief. Howard worked with Hospice for many years, and he was recommended to me through my family doctor, who suggested that I take his Grief Education class. This class is held the third Saturday of each month at Alta Bates Herrick campus from 10 AM till 12 noon. If you are interested in attending, you just need to call him to let him know you would like to come. He only charges $10 for this class. He provides valuable information about what grief is all about (and it is different for everyone). He also gives out a wonderful no-nonsense booklet that he authored on the subject. To sign up for the class, call Howard at 841-2930.
I think grief is a very, very specific issue, and to be honest, I don't know how many therapists are really qualified to deal with it. My father's death and dying affected every facet of my life. My husband attended the class, and it gave him a better understanding of why I was feeling and behaving the way I was. I am forever indebted to Howard and I cannot say enough good things about him.

By the way, I was seeing another therapist while my father was dying as well as for awhile after he died. I wish I had met Howard sooner, as I am convinced it would have helped me to have a more meaningful experience. The other therapist was not equipped to help me, but what was unfortunate, is that she did not have the humanity nor the professionalism to admit this to me. I wasted precious time with my father that I can never retrieve.


I would also recommend Howard Lunche in Berkeley. He is gentle, compassionate, concerned, and really sees who you are. Leah
I was part of a grief group for, as I remember, 6 or 8 weeks, put together by the Visiting Nurses Association hospice center. The VNA has these groups going on continuously. It doesn't matter what caused the person's death. The group was very very helpful to me - both the facilitators and the participants are right there with you when you talk about the experience, and one of the things we each did was have a time to tell about the person we had lost, and show pictures, etc. After each "presentation" there was a time for other people in the group to ask questions or talk about what they had heard or seen about the person and your relationship with them. It was incredibly supportive, if scary. It really does seem to allow you to say what you need to say, and what you can't necessarily say to the rest of your family or friends. I was in a group that started about 6 months after my mom's death. I wanted to get into one three months earlier, but didn't understand that you have to go to their Emeryville office and be interviewed to join a group - that just calling to be added to a list is not enough. There were a couple of people who found it too soon to be able to be part of the group, and were not able to continue coming. Anyway, I highly recommend it whether or not you find a good counselor. Susan

Therapist for grieving children

Nov 2001

My husband recently passed away. Does anyone have any recommendations for a therapist/counselor who could advise me on how to deal with my children and their questions and grief? While they have seen therapists, the verbalized issues about their father seem to arise only when they are with me. Thanks.


A good resource is the Alameda Co. Crisis Counselling Center. They offer grief therapy groups for adults at $10/session, and may be able to advise you on getting help with your children. I attended a group for survivors of suicide after my sister committed suicide two years ago. It was excellent therapy, and I found that group therapy was much more effective than indivudual therapy. I don't have their phone number, but the Suicide Prevention Hotline will give it to you and they're in the white pages.

[Editor] as of March 2004: Crisis Support Services of Alameda County (800) 309-2131 24-hour crisis line Crisis Support Services of Alameda County (800) 309-2131 24-hour crisis line http://www.crisissupport.org/


To the woman whose husband recently passed away and who wanted referrals to professional support around your family's grief, I offer an LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) on Piedmont Ave. in Oakland named Thana Christian. Although I have seen her alone, I know she has a lot of experience with family dynamics and pediatrics and is the most caring person I've ever met. I can't imagine a counselor/therapist who could be of greater assistance to you at such a sad time. I would be happy to give a more in-depth referral if you e-mail me, or just call Thana directly at (510)547-1779. I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Whether you work with Thana or not, I wish you the best and congratulate you on reaching out to find help for you and your kids. Michael
Rachel Clark is an excellent grief counselor and counsels with families and kids. She is in Berkeley -- her phone number is 524-2918. Cam
There is a great group called Circle of Care, 208-3535, that helps families cope with death and terminal illness. They're based in Oakland and have many ongoing support groups as well as counseling.
I would like to pass along to the parent who lost her husband that I received good information and referral from CARE Services staff Anna Denoon and also that CARE staff person Laurie Yamamoto is facilitating two grief and loss workshops on November 6&13 from 4-6. I am seeing Susan Bresee, an LCSW with the Redwood Center that is on Dwight Way near campus. I am also participating in a bereavement group facilitated by a counselor from Pathways Hospice in Oakland, which provides individual, family and group counseling. Because it's open enrollment she may want to review health plan coverages for their mental health coverages. I switched to UC Care last year because I thought it had the most extensive mental health coverage/provider options and that has been a real help...my best wishes to this parent.
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