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Fertility Support Groups
Hello, I am looking for some sort of infertility support group.
We have spent the past two years trying to conceive and have
already been through many many fertility treatments. We are
coming to the end of this road as we cannot afford in vitro; I
am having a really hard time emotionally dealing with the idea
that we may not be able to have children of our own. We are not
opposed to adoption, but just do not have the emotional
capacity to deal with it right now. I live in Contra Coast
County but am willing to travel into Oakland or Berkely if
needed. I just need some support from other people going
through this experience. I already have a therapist and have
amazing friends, but would like to find a place to share with
others in the same situation. Thank you.
Mothering.com has a forum that deals with infertility. I'm not sure of any
local resources, however. I think Kaiser may have something.
And, just to throw this out there, because I'm sure you've already jumped
through all the hoops, but have you had your thyroid tested? New
guidelines say that tsh (thyroid stimulating hormone) needs to be about 1
for conception to occur. Many western docs think that up to 5.5 is still
normal, when it really is not at all, especially when you're ttc. I just
feel compelled to mention it because I wasted a long time ttc and once I
figured out the problem and started supplementing with a small amount
thyroid hormone, I was pregnant within six weeks. Have you tried a
Naturopath? Acupuncture? Both things helped me as well. Best of luck to
Hello..I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with infertility. I did,
too. I would like to recommend that you contact RESOLVE: The National
Infertility Association. The organization supports those experiencing
fertility issues and can guide you to the appropriate local support
resources. Their website is www.resolve.org or 703.556.7172
I understand your pain and wish you well.
Hello...I am so sorry to hear about your struggle with infertility. I have
struggled too. I would like to encourage you to contact RESOLVE: The
National Infertility Association. They can refer you to appropriate local
support resources. They understand what you're going through. You can
read more about them at www.resolve.org or 703.556.7172.
Best wishes to you...
Before you give up, try acupuncture with Leslie Oldershaw (Piedmont). I am
convinced I have a child because of her assistance with my infertility.
Otherwise, I believe there is an organization called Resolve in the Bay
Area, and there are many websites where you can ''chat'' with other women.
However, I did not find the websites too helpful.
There is a great organization (formerly Resolve of Northern California),
Open Path The Family-Building Resource of Northern California that has
groups of support for anyone going through fertility and looking for a
place to share and find support with others travelling the same path.
There are therapists associated with this organization that lead groups in
the East Bay, San Francisco, and Marin. The website is www.resolvenc.org
and their new website will be www.YourOpenPath.org. The office number for
more information is 415-788-6772.
I agree that finding group support for dealing with infertility is really
helpful. I have been a group leader for Resolve in the past. The San
Francisco chapter is now known as Open Path and their telephone number is
415-788-6772. You can contact them and find out where and when support
groups will be meeting. Reducing isolation and finding common ground with
others can be invaluable. Good luck in your journey.
I am trying to see what type of support groups or therapists for
secondary fertility are out there.
We have been trying for our second child for almost a year and
have even been trying IUI. They can't find anything wrong with
me but it is just not happening. I have become very depressed
and it just seems like everyone around me is having their
seconds or already has had their second or even third at this
point. I feel like I have no one to really talk to since no one
understands this feeling unless you are going through it (even
my friends who had trouble and are all older than me are now
pregnant with #2). We do have one wonderful child (I got
pregnant after 2 months and had no troubles a few years ago) and
of course we are around a lot of parents and other kids because
of our friends and our child's school and playdates. I am having
a tough time in social situations now and wish there was someone
who understood me. My family keeps telling me how lucky I am to
have one and I know that but this is something you have no
control over and it gets harder and harder each month (esp. when
you feel all you do is heard about everyone else getting
pregnant). My husband has been wonderful about everything but
its not him dealing with all the drugs and emotions. I need to
find others to talk to in my situation who will understand
Have you contacted Resolve? They have a phone line staffed
with volunteers who have personal experience with infertility.
They also facilitate support groups; perhaps they have one with
an emphasis on secondary infertility? There is an office in
San Francisco. Best to you,
First let me tell you how sorry I am you're having trouble conceiving. It can be
incredibly painful, and it was without question the hardest thing I've ever been
I found a community of smart, funny women who provided tremendous support and
education during my three years trying to conceive (TTCing), early parenthood and
several m/cs at INCIID. Though the Waiting Room is for both primary and secondary
IF, everyone gets the pain you're describing. Here is the direct link to that
http://www.inciid.org/forums/waitingroom/index.html or just go to inciid.org.
I wish you good luck and hope your next baby makes it to you very soon
I hear your pain because I was there for a long, long time.
Looking back, I don't know why it took me (and my husband) so
long to pursue the obvious solution: adoption. Okay, I
remember some of the fears: What would it be like with
one ''bio-kid'' and one adopted kid? Would the adopted kid be
okay? Would paperwork-hating me be able to fill out all those
forms? And, yes, where would the money come from?
All those questions, and the occasional short-lived pregnancy,
kept us in limbo for 8 long years -- years when of course we
loved and enjoyed our wonderful daughter and fortunate lives,
but when I, at least, was plagued with jealousy of people with
more than one child.
Long story short: We finally bit the bullet, started the
paperwork, and ended up a year later with a gorgeous, funny,
smart toddler who has brightened all of our lives
immeasurably. The whole adoption experience, rather than being
the ''second-best'' that I'd feared, has added a dimension to all
of our lives that we cherish. Our friends and families have
been more than wonderful. Life is full and happy. My advice,
as you can no doubt tell, is to adopt.
Happy we adopted a 2nd
I joined resolve to find just such a group. They have only one
meeting on the peninsula. I've left messages for them saying I
would like to start an East Bay one, but they must be under
staffed b/c I've never heard back. I'm not quite ready to post
on UC Parents to suggest those interested in a nonfacilitated
one contact me...It's still hard to be out about infertility!
Through Kaiser, I was able to set up counseling sessions w/ my
spouse and an LCSW, which is helpful, and we're thinking of
seguing to a pre-adopt group, which resolve does have in the
eastbay starting 2-3 times/year. At the last session we did
discuss that it is a very lonely experience.
I too am having the same sort of problem, though age is probably
a big factor for me even though all the usual fertility tests
have come back normal. We are finally trying some fertility drugs
after a year of trying on our own but are not sure where this
ends and when to stop and say that's enough. I too get depressed
about it as many of the people I know are also having or had 2nd
babies already and I really want to have a second too. I don't
know of any support groups for secondary infertility and often
this group is neglected as people think you should be happy that
you at least have one. However, I have found that there are a lot
of on-line chats and bulletin boards on trying to conceive where
you can get some support from others going through the same thing
- including some for secondary infertility. Try a google search.
Luckily I have a friend who is going through the same thing and
we about talk about it from time to time which has been very
helpful. Don't hesitate to ask the moderator for my email
address if you want to make contact to talk about these things -
I know I find it helpful.
Also having trouble getting pregnant with #2
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. We also suffered
from secondary infertility; it took nearly four years to
conceive our second child. I know how painful it is and how
isolated it can make you feel, I stopped seeing a lot of
friends because I just couldn't cope with watching their
families grow and wondering why it wasn't happening for us.
People seem to find secondary infertility particularly
difficult to understand, if I had a dollar for every person who
advised us to 'just relax' I would be a very wealthy woman! I
never managed to find any support groups but I do have a book
specifically about secondary infertility which helped me and
which I would be happy to pass on to you. I found it very
helpful just to know that other people were going through the
same thing and finding it just as hard. In the end we tried
Chinese herbs and acupuncture and it worked. I wished I had
tried it years earlier. Feel free to email me if you think I
If you haven't already, please check out the organization Resolve
this page was last updated: Jan 14, 2009
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