Berkeley Parents Network: Divorce Counseling & Support Groups

Berkeley Parents Network

Divorce Counseling & Support Groups

Berkeley Parents Network > Reviews > Therapists, Counseling , & Support Groups > Divorce Counseling & Support Groups

Divorce Support Groups

Feb 2007

I need help finding support groups for going through a divorce. The most recent advice I could find was dated back in 2003. I am a newly single mom going through a messy divorce and would like to find other parents in a similar situation for support. Thanks Depressed mom

It's been a few years, but I'm almost certain they will still have an ongoing divorce support group at the Lafayette-Orinda Presbyterian Church (LOPC) in Lafayette. I'm sorry I don't have the phone number or web site, but I'm sure you can easily find them. In addition to divorce-support, there is also a single-parenting support group there, which I found extremely helpful. Good luck. Linda

Dec 2006

Hi. I am looking for a support group to help me through the throes of divorce. I know of Kidsturn, but I'm wondering if there's anything else out there focused on the adult. Thanks! anon

There is a divorce support group and a weekly group for single parents support at the Lafayette Orinda Presbyterian Church in Lafayette. I don't have the phone number, but I'm sure if you google and call the church, they will have the number to call. anonymous

Sept 2004

I have an eight year old daughter and share custody with her father, who I divorced 6 years ago. Since then, it has been extremely difficult to co-parent -- a fact complicated by his remarriage to a woman with 2 grown children, the recent advent of a new baby and the fact that despite all these hopeful things, there appears to be residual hostility on his part. Each little thing has become a major nightmare and the unpleasantness cannot but be affecting my daughter. Most recent spate of problems has involved very different views on afterschool enrichment activities. We have 50% custody each, but since the step-mother is a full time housewife, my daughter is actually not spending time with her father, but with her step-mother, who I do not regard as a particularly inspiring role model.

Is there a ''divorced parents'' support group where one might seek advice and get a regular ''reality check?'' If not, I'd love to start one -- hopefully a small one that might be right for academic single mothers whose ''full time jobs'' are actually a lot more than that, even. seeking help

I've been hearing good things about a workshop series for divorced and separated families called Kids' Turn. Parents go and kids go; kids go off with other kids, and the parents separate and go off in other groups. It's a way of sharing and talking about feelings and puzzling through some things. Here is the website: http://www.kidsturn.org/parents/workshop.htm I haven't acted on this yet, so if you go, I'd be curious to hear your opinion. john

Sept 2003

I am undergoing a divorce and am extremely stressed and depressed. I have a 3 & 5 yr old and find that I am screaming at them more frequently. Does anyone know of any divorce support groups in the east bay and a good therapist specializing in divorce? thanks

The Lafayette-Orinda Presbyterian Church had a very active divorce workshop about 12 years ago when I was in your situation. It was a real life saver for me, worth every minute of time and every penny of gas on Monday evenings. There were also support groups for children. LOPC has historically had an active singles (of all persuasions--don't let the location stand in your way of great help) support ministry. You might give the church office a call and see what is available now. signed, Better, now!

I have been a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for over 20 years and work with individuals and couples going through transitions, including divorce. My office is in Albany, and if you think individual or couple counseling might be helpful, you can call me at 510/527-4011. Good luck, Fran Wickner, PhD, MFT

If you live in Northern Alameda County, you can call the Bananas WarmLine (reachable through the main number, 658-7353) for an initial conversation with an MFT and referrals for other local therapists and groups. Just so you know, you'll probably get a call back rather than being able to talk to someone on the spot. Jennifer

Try kidsturn.org. They are an advocacy group for parents and children based in San Francisco. I think they've got a new book out, too. I work at a school in the East Bay, and several co-workers and parents recommend them.
[editor] see reviews of Kids Turn

Helping couple through divorce

2001

It was nice to read about marriage counselors saving relationships, but my needs are a bit different. I want a divorce and my husband doesn't. It would be nice to see someone, alone or together, who could help my husband understand that a divorce will be a reality, and that an amicable one would be better for all parties, including our 2-1/2 year old.

Recommendations received:

Sydney Buice

Judith Tabb

Barbara McMahon

Other Resources

Tim (1/00)

Date: Wed, 9 Oct 1996

As it happens, I just completed a family law mediation training and have quite a few excellent resources for families to deal with this painful process.

One of the most interesting things I learned was about the most up to date research on divorced families - which is not that readily available because it is very hard to read. It turns out that some of the more recent and more sophisticated studies show that there are differences between children of divorce and children in intact families, but not that much. It turns out that the single most important factor was the level of conflict in the marriage and post-marriage communications. Children of high conflict families are less well adjusted that those not in those situations. Simple, huh. Children also do far better adjusting to divorce when the parents do not embroil the children in conflict - like asking the child to carry hostile messages to the other parent or asking the child to hide info from the other parent, etc.

Anyway, below are some resources I have discovered which I think are quite helpful. Kids' Turn: This is an EXCELLENT organization which has workshops for parents and kids to learn to help kids deal with divorce. They have 6 week workshops and I have talked with several parents who rave about it. The phone number is 415/437-0700. They hold workshops all around the Bay Area now.

Books:

_Healing Hearts: Helping Children and Adults Recover From Divorce_, Hickey, E. and Dalton, E. (1994). Carson City, NV: Gold Leaf Press.

_Parent vs. Parent: How you and your child can survive the custody battle_, Herman, S. (1990). New York: Patheon Books.

_Surviving the Breakup: How Children & Parents Cope with Divorce_, Wallerstein, J & Kelly, J. (1980). New York: BAsic Books.

There are also books for kids: I don't know anything about these books:

_Boy & Girl Book About Divorce_, Gardner, R. (1970). New York: Bantan Books.

_Two Homes to LIve In, A Child's-Eye View of Divorce_, Hazen, B. (1983). New York: Human Sciences Press/Plenum.

I found the following URL helpful when I led a Single Parents' Group at the French-American School in SF. Some of these things are great; some are a little weak from my professional perspective. In any case, here it is: http://www.parentsplace.com/readroom/spn/index.html

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