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I'd love some updated recommendations for someone who has appointments in the
evenings since I only saw one therapist listed who has evening availability. And if
they take Blue Shield, that would be an even bigger bonus! Our issues are the
standard ''married with children'' issues: lack of communication, loss of closeness
and intimacy, etc. So any recommendations would be greatly appreciated!
I know SF may be a hassle, but we worked with Deborah Caust whose office is
near Union Street, and she was terrific. She has background both in couples
therapy and in sex therapy. She has evening appointments and she is out of
network but we had no problems getting reimbursed for a hefty portion of her
fee through Blue Cross Blue Shield PPO. She is expensive, but after seeing her
I was totally satisfied with how much we were paying - and I'm in the mental
health field, so I'm picky about my providers...
We started seeing her to deal with issues that sound similar to yours - you
might also check out David Snarch's The Passionate Marriage (book and
audiobook) or consider jumpstarting things with something from the Gottman
Institute. They are located in Seattle and have weekend workshops but also
books, DVDs, etc. They have terrific exercises that encourage good
communication and helped me and my husband to feel closer and better connected
very quickly. Good luck!
--been there too
I am not sure what insurance either of these woman accept but I can tell you
that they are both excellent. I have seen Maggie Nemirow,PHD (510-524-2082 on
The Alameda @ Solano) for individual counceling for many years and she
specializes in working with couples. I have sent couple friends of mine to her
before as well. My husband and I are seeing Mary Toth Granick, MFT
(415-273-1310 she has an office in SF and one on Solano). Every time we leave
we both feel like she has helped so much. I think either would be a wonderful
choice and worth a call.
My partner and I really liked our psychotherapist in Rockridge. Her name is
Rebecca Lueck and she is honest and compassionate. She encouraged us to take
our relationship to a deeper level of intimacy and trust. And we also learned
strategies for better arguing and conflict resolution. She had evening hours on
Wednesdays but that might have changed. Good luck and stick it out if you can.
We are in a much better place now.
Taryn Thomas is a great therapist for couples. I really like her approach and
she is very insightful.
She is available for evening appointments.
She doesn't take insurance at this time, but she can fill out forms for clients
to submit to their insurance company.
Her phone number is 510-496-6070.
I highly recommend Robert Terris as a couples/family mediator and counsler.
Robert has greatly supported me and my husband in our our new role as parents.
He uses active listening and non-violent communocation approach that truly
transformed the way we communicate with each other. What I really liked about
him is that he can be very insightful and compassionate and at the same time
very practical and offer small gestures that make a huge difference - these are
things that we could do daily and worked immediately to east tensions or
His e-mail is rterris at gmail.com
My husband and I are in desperate need of couples counseling,
but he's so busy and his work schedule is so unpredictable
that we need to find someone with weekend hours, maybe
Saturday mornings or so. I've called almost a dozen people
listed on the BPN to no avail. Can anyone recommend someone
wonderful who has weekend hours? Thanks so much.
I highly recommend Gaile Roberts Nunez as a couples' counselor.
She does have weekend hours and is very insightful about
couples. My husband and I worked with her for about a year and
both felt that she helped us communicate better overall, as well
as resolve some major issues. She is insightful, smart, and
tough. She works out of her home in Berkeley. 510.841.6303
I know a wonderful therapist that works on Saturdays. She has
really helped me and is super focused on current issues at hand
(vs. talking about childhood stuff). She also helped a friend
of mine with couples counseling -- Her and her husband have
thanked me a thousand times for the referral and credit her for
saving their marriage. Definitely give her a call -- Her name
is Jill Lebeau -- Her number is 849-1010.
Hi, I am seeing a great therapist for individual therapy, but
she also does couples therapy. She does have weekend
appointments available. Her name is Jennifer Lieberman and her
office is in Oakland near Lake Merritt. Her number is
i would highly recommend a couples mediator who has been
extremely helpful in working through issues at therapy. he is
above all a compassionate listener and a very wise facilitator.
robert terris sees clients on weekends. you can reach him at
rterris at gmail.com or 510-6657718
working through it all as well.
My husband has finally agreed to go to counseling but we need a good,
understanding counselor that works on weekday evenings. Anyone out
-Help at last.
Several people have asked for a great couples therapist, so I
decided to share ours. Paul Minsky, PhD 524-0700 in Berkeley.
He really helped us alot. I know he works evenings and takes
insurance, don't know about the weekends though. Good luck!
Hello - I am looking for recommendations for a couples therapist
in Marin. My husband and I have seen two different people and
neither one has been a fit for us. I looked through the
archives and could only find recommendations for 2005. I would
appreciate any recommendations you have for a great couples
therapist in Marin. We have Kaiser and canít commit to the
couples workshop at this time due to my husbandís travel
schedule but are more than willing to go outside Kaiser to find
a good therapist. Thank you!
Check out Paula Love, relationship coach, @ 415-464-1171. I don't think she is
licensed therapist, but she has a deep background in working with couples. We
used her and it was helpful to make some big decisions with a man I am now
married to. I've also been through the somatic coach training program she
into her work and it's very effective. If you want to check out her bio first,
go to http://www.strozziinstitute.com/associates.htm#relationship where you'll
her (and other skillful coaches who do deep work).
A third party is worth it!
A friend of mine is looking for a good marriage counsler in the
east bay (she lives in Oakland near Piedmont).
Richard Beery, Ph.D. is an excellent couples therapist. He is a
brilliant, caring, and very experienced clinical psychologist. His
office is on The Alameda near the corner of Solano Ave. in North
Berkeley. He can be reached at 510-525-1376. His email address is
If one of you is in a technical or computer field, he can speak your
language. But I also know a lawyer and a writer who think he's the best
there is. His fees are commensurate with his expertise and experience,
although I think he's less expensive ($125/hr.) for those who can come
before 4 PM.
Bonnie MacBride is a wonderful MFT (on Dwight Way) who really taught my
husband and I how to communicate with each other. She's interested in
seeing you make progress and teaching you how to develop skills to
become more intimate, honest and communicative with each other, so that
you can ''graduate'' from therapy (my term, not her's). She's amazing
and I actually miss her! Now, my husband and I will say we need
''Bonnie'' time as a way to say, ''I need to talk to you about how I'm
feeling.'' She's had a huge impact on us as a couple and as
individuals. Her contact info:
Bonnie MacBride, M.F.T.
2428 Dwight Way
I would send you to Dr. Lisa Lancaster (841-2525). She is in Berkeley
and is a wonderul therapist who has done much work with couples
(including me and my husband)! She has been extremely helpful to us.
There are many recommendations for counselors but are there any
psychologist at the PhD level? Either they're hard to find or
I'm just not reading all the listings right? Can anyone
recommend one for marriage and individual counseling? I'm
desperate and want someone as qualified as I can get without
going to a psychiatrist and dealing with the urge to prescribe
Valory Mitchell in Berkeley is wonderful. I saw her for
individual therapy, but she does a lot of couple's therapy as
well. I can't recommend her enough.
I would recommend Dr. Lisa Lancaster Ph.D. My work with her has
been extremely valuable. She is smart, kind and effective. She
is in Berkeley (510-841-2525).
Some friends of mine have raved about their therapist, Dr. Jim
Sparks, who has a PhD. I think that he does see both individuals
and couples. His phone is 510-433-7477.
I can recommend a great PhD psychologist - Hans Stahlschmidt. He
has helped to save our marriage. He is warm and tough. The
therapy with him was a total different experience than the one we
had with our former therapist. Our relationship started to change
right away. He has an office in Berkeley on The Alameda. Phone
510-848 5347. Good luck.
Hi: Dr. Geraldine Alpert (PhD Harvard) in San Rafael is awesome!
She helped to save my sister and brother-in-law's marriage and is
great for individual counseling as well. She works in both San
Rafael and SF.
psychologists have the exact same training as therapists in
regard to the counseling services that you are seeking. the only
further education that psychologists receive that MFT's (marriage
and family therapists) do not is in the realm of psychological
furthermore, if you decide that your counselor must have a
doctorate degree, a PhD's education is focused more on research
and a PsyD's educational focus is more on actual counseling.
just so you know
I would recommend Dr. Jill Rodgers-Quaye, Ph.D. She is a
psychologist with a practice on Piedmont Avenue. I have worked
with her and found her to be knowledgable, approachable, warm yet
direct and very much focused on finding solutions to problems
(rather than using therapy as a forum to talk endlessly). She
does both individual and couples therapy and she can be reached
at her website: www.drjillrodgersquaye.com or her phone: 510
282-2197. Good luck!
I believe that people have posted recommendations recently for couples
therapists in Lamorinda, but I can't seem to track them down. My husband
and I have been going through some tough times for about three years now.
I've brought up the idea of therapy to him, and he has already resisted.
But I'm now at the point that if we don't seek some outside help, it may
mean the end of the marriage. I'd appreciate any recommendations of
couples/marriage therapists in Walnut Creek or Lamorinda.
Dianne Donnelly in Lafayette is great. She is objective, reasonable - and
gives good ''techniques''. She can be a little tough love, but she is very
pragmatic too. Good luck!
Lynne Harr in Lafayette was helpful, balanced, and skilled. 3468 Mt. Diablo
Blvd, Lafayette. Tel. (925) 284-2298. Take your time to talk to potential
therapists and see if they are a right fit for both you and your spouse.
Since it's already difficult to bring an unwilling spouse to therapy, you
might want a few sessions one-on-one first. This helps lay the groundwork
for an effective session with your spouse. Good luck.
find the best therapist, don't settle
I've had tremendous success working with Denny Reynolds in
Lafayette, who is fabulous at couples counseling because she
helps improve communications in ways that continue to improve the
relationship outside her office doors. The co-author of wonderful
books, Denny's style embodies the best practices available to
counseling that include a spiritual perspective... so anyone
wishing to learn to listen and be truly heard by their mate will
benefit. She teaches workshops with her husband on the Art of
Relationship which are truly outstanding, and I can't recommend
her work highly enough, having been to many couples counselors in
the past... so I now know the difference between someone who's OK
and someone whose work is truly excpetional, like Denny Reynolds.
Denny can be reached at (925) 283-1719
I'm looking for a therapist for myself, and hopefully my husband with consent to
come. We have a 12 year old, lots of issues are marital, but surely impacted by
our child. I think a man would be the best, in case my husband agrees to therapy,
but I would love your best recommendation (male or female). So far, my insurance
has given me these names: Richard Bush, Charles King, Joseph Saah, Bruce Linton.
I can *really* recommend Priscilla Johnson as a very kind, intelligent, and
intuitive therapist. Her experience with Mindfulness Practice coupled with deep and
compassionate understanding is a boon in working on difficult issues. Her ability
to hold the space, invite curiosity, and facilitate in plumbing the depths with
kindness, sensitivity, and wisdom makes me recommend her for either Couples or
You can reach Priscilla at 510.427.5401
Here is a recommendation for a great couples counselor.
Matthew Van Lokeren, Jungian Analyst
415 203 7293
hope it helps
My husband and I saw a great therapist named April Miller she is a marriage
family therapist and really helped us find new ways to communicate with each
other. Her number is 415 520 9311 and she is terrific!
She also has a practice for eating disorders but we didn't see her for that
I am nearly 8 months pregnant with our first baby and just learned that my partner has
been unfaithful for the past three months. We need some help and thought this group
could give us some updated recommendations of good counselors/therapists.
Neither of us have family in the area and finding support has been very difficult. He's
determined to earn back my trust and be a part of our new family. I'm honestly not sure
it's possible but despite my pain I'm wanting to give that a fighting chance.
I'm a native English speaker and he's a native Spanish speaker so any recommendations of
someone specializing in cross-cultural couples or who can conduct sessions in either
language would be especially welcome (we're both bi-lingual, but it could help each of
us to be able to express ourselves in our native tongues to be fully understood by each
other and the therapist).
Thanks in advance for any help you can offer.
Please consider trying Mary Ciofalo in San Francisco: she is a fantastic therapist
who specializes in cross cultural communication. She has helped me SO much both in
individual sessions as well as when both my husband and I go together. Two people
I have recommended have both established an ongoing collaboration with her and
have told me how great she is. Her number is 415 929 8200 and she is located in SF
at 1801 Bush St.
Our marriage was in bad shape too when I was pregnant. My husband and I had many
arguments. Luckily we went to see a couples therapist. Friends of ours recommended
Dr. Hans Stahlschmidt. We both liked him very much. He understood the issues very
well and addressed some real painful stuff we didn't want to deal with. He is
direct and challenging but also very supportive and doesn't make you feel like
you're abnormal or crazy. He might also be helpful with your bi-cultural issues
because he is originally from Europe.
I know of a great therapist named April Miller MFT who helped my husband and I
really work through some issues, including infidelity. She is amazing and has a
415 520 9311 is her number
My husband and I would like to start couples counseling. We are trying to
find a therapist that will work for us. We are looking for a therapist who is
familiar with the discourses of EST or The Landmark Forum, and Flores. If you
know of someone who fits this profile, please let us know.
I've been working with Dr. Marlene Winell for a while now and have come to
admire her skills greatly. She has a wealth of knowledge about human
development and communication skills and provides therapy in a proactive,
interactive fashion. She is insightful, intelligent and caring. She consults
in person and over the phone. I would highly recommend her to anyone seeking
help in a relationship!! Feel free to contact her with questions -
Hope this helps!
Have you had a couples therapist who brought you from the brink of splitting up back
to a workable pleasant relationship?? We are pretty desperate with two small kids
and need some help. Ideally I would love maybe an older, motherly type as we are
older and I could use some gentle compassion these days in this process. I think we
also need someone who can help us develop tangible plans and weekly goals so that we
feel we are making some progress, or not!
We have been seeing a wonderful couples therapist, located in Berkeley--although we
were not ''on the brink'', we recognized that there are some things we could
improve. If you are looking for someone who is extremely smart and compassionate,
with a gentle sense of humor but who keeps everyone honest (with themselves and with
each other), then this is the person to call: Winifred Reilly (510
To the couple seeking help in preventing a break up. I can recommend Mary Yabroff in
Berkeley on Woolsey.
I was on the verge of leaving my marriage and basically only stayed because of our
child. After seeing our therapist for a few months, we both learned to listen better
to each other, be more empathetitc with each other, and to take the sting out of
She is excellent in mediating potentially confrontational discussions, and stopping
us when the communication gets inflammatory and getting us back on track. She is
very understanding about outside stress factors affecting family life and shows
compassion for both parties without taking sides.
Our sessions are mostly covered by Blue Shield/HMO, but I will always make sure to
save enough for eventual thereapy sessions to keep our marriage strong and alive.
Learned to love my spouse again
My husband and I are looking for an affordable couples couselor in Alameda
or Oakland (we live in East Oakland). We are dealing with the usual(?!)
stresses of being older new parents with an 18 month old, complete with
financial challenges and having a relatively short history together before
the conception of our daughter. Thanks for any referrals.
There is a counseling center called A Safe Place to Heal in Oakland. You can
check out the therapists there on their website at:Safeplacetoheal.com
Mey Saephan one of the licensed therapists there specializes in couples counseling
and she does have a sliding scale fee.
Or you may call them at 510-628-0740
All the best to you.
A Friend who understands
Dr. Hilde Clark is an incredibly skilled, compassionate and warm clinical
psychologist who has helped us through a major crisis in our marriage. She also
provides counseling for children and adolescents, and should the need arise, I
would not hesitate to work with her again. She is near Piedmont Ave. and her
number is 510 420-1866.
Can anyone recommend a couples' therapist at Kaiser Oakland? Looking for a savvy
therapist with experience helping couples
with post-partum/first baby challenges. Thanks.
New Mom and Dad
i know you were looking for a kaiser rec but i just wanted to let you know
about an upcoming workshop that i think would be perfect for what you
described. the therapist who is facilating this helped me immensely with
postpartum issues and she is a smart and compassionate person with lots of
this workshop is based on research done on what happens to couples'
relationships after a baby is born.
We are in search of a couples counselor to help boost our communication, but due to
long commutes in opposite directions, we are looking for someone compassionate who has
weekend hours, preferably on a Saturday morning. We live in Oakland. Does anyone know
of a good counselor that fits this description, who is skilled at non-judgementally
helping couples talk with and listen to each other? A bonus would be if this counselor
would do the ocasional one-on-one session with each of us, too. Thanks in advance
wants to hear, wants to be heard
I recently posted a recommendation for a couples mediator/counslor. He is open to
meet evenings/weekends, so I am replying to your post. Here is what I wrote,
please write to me if you have any questions.
We are a couple who have been together for over a decade and always considered
ourselves completely open with each other and had very little disagreements
throughout the years. This actually made it harder to deal with big issues that
came about, as our life was taking new directions. With Robertís help, we managed
to deepen our relationship in ways we didnít think were still possible.
We struggled with two major issues: when to get pregnant and how to provide for
the family. We found ourselves colliding frequently and the more we engaged in
discussion, our frustration grew and our attempts to find common grounds were in
vain. After a few painful months we decided to seek professional help. We needed
someone to help us understand how to solve these specific issues and to create a
space where both of us are heard and appreciated.
Applying techniques of active listening and non-violent communication, Robert
helped us understand the core of our individual hurt and how it is manifested in
this specific case. In the mediation process we learned to be better listeners of
ourselves and our own needs and then express our needs and feelings in a way that
gives full legitimization to the otherís needs and feelings. Robert emphasized
the need to apply the new insights to our daily practices as a couple and he
offered concrete ways to do so, and by that preventing further misunderstandings.
After each mediation session we felt uplifted, relieved and happy and this is why
we want to recommend Robert. We think his skill is beyond description Ė you need
to experience it yourself to understand, and we hope you would. He is a
compassionate person and a truly dedicated mediator, with a mission to use his
talent to heal and deepen relationships. Among his credentials are a masters
degree in peace and conflict studies, a law degree, conflict resolution training
and an extensive community mediation experience.
Please contact him directly: rterris[at]gmail.com
I have to let everyone know that I found the most wonderful couples therapist. She is
warm, a great listener, creates a safe environment, and doesn't take sides. Her counsel is
from 25 plus years of experience and she regularly writes and speaks on topics related to
couples all around the country. Here's her contact info:elayne[at]QueenofRejection.com
510-540-6230, 2607 Alcatraz Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94708
I am seeking a recommendation for a counselor for a couple who
have been together a long time (almost 30 years) and like each
other, but have real issues concerning parenting older kids,
constructively dealing with conflict, and overcoming ingrained
bad patterns. Therapist must be practical (please no one full
of jargon or touchy-feely) and smart. Also very discrete, as
one member of couple is in high-profile job.
concerned for a friend
Naomi Baran is an excellent couples counselor and her
communication is very straightforward (maybe a little jargon
occasionally, but not offputting). She has impressed me and my
husband as being extremely smart. Licensed therapists in general
are ethically bound not to discuss or name their patients, but
I'm sure Naomi in particular would be completely discreet. She
is at 652-2618
My husband and I saw Fran Wickner, Ph.D, who is also a licensed
marriage and couples counselor. My husband was very
anti-psychotherapy, so I knew I had to find someone who wasn't
going to make him go into feelings all the time (I've been to a
lot of therapy and didn't care, but I didn't want him to quit).
Fran was great. My husband actually showed up to all the
sessions the whole six months we went and liked that she was
concrete and gave us lots of things to work on during the week.
Fran has been a therapist for a long time and was very helpful.
She's on Solano Avenue, phone number 527-4011
i'm looking for more recent reccomendations for a couples counselor.(the latest one
i could find on BPN dates back to Feb. '05). my husband and i had a 6 years long
wonderful, loving and fulfilling relationship before we had children. though we are
both crazy about our kids, we're also dealing with feeling of loss and longing for
what our relationship used to be. we feel disconnected from eachother, emotionally
and physically and have lost the humor and lightness that used to be so present in
our lives. we used to be able to talk very openly, but don't seem to be able to
find that open space for dialogue anymore. other issues have piled up on top of all
that, one of which is my longing to return to my roots (europe) and raise our
children there. we are both eager to work with someone to help us back on track
and regain some of the magic that used to be our couple. thanx for your advice.
former lovebirds in crisis
My husband and I started seeing Jean Shimozaki, a licensed family
therapist for similar reasons. After having a child, our
communication with one another changed; added to that, we were
both tired and stressed out about finances. Jean was wonderful
in not only helping improve our communication, but infusing fun
and intimacy back into our marriage. She creates a very
comfortable space for open and productive dialogue. She has
offices in Berkeley and Pinole: (510) 547-8830
When my husband and I were trying to decide about
whether or not to have kids we saw a couples therapist
I really liked. Her name is Johanna Murphy, Ph.D.
(510-459-6037). We talked about how fighting about
cleaning (a frequent fight at the time) was often
about deeper resentments that we weren't addressing.
This has been helpful in that we can now spot doing
this more quickly. I also found talking about how
family of origin dynamics affect our relationship
particularly helpful. I now feel I am better about
identifying what may be issues with a parent versus
issues with my partner and this helps diffuse some of
our fights. I think talking about some of our family
history with someone objective also helped us to
really hear the other's experience and to be more
sympathetic to the other as well. I would definetly
suggest couples therapy, we are now a happy family of
Anyone know of a good marriage therapist in east bay, preferably
walnut creek. My husband and I are in our mid thirties, married
less than 2 years and having a lot of problems w/communication.
We have been arguing a lot and is has recently escalated w/alot
of verbal abuse by the both of us. Any advice, suggestions are
If communication is a major issue, I strongly recommend Marlene Winell in Berkeley. She has
worked with couples for many years and can teach you some things that are immediately very
helpful. My husband and I were stuck in a vicious cycle and fighting a lot. Dr. Winell
helped us with some key concepts and actual skills that broke the cycle and basically saved
our marriage. I know you are in Walnut Creek but the travel time would be well worth it. You
can reach her at 510-292-0509
I recommend Cinnamon Daniel. She is a Unitarian Universalist
minister who recently left church ministry (at my church, First
Unitarian in Oakland) to devote herself to her therapy/ pastoral
counseling practice. I know she does couples counseling as well
as individuals. She is smart, funny, wise, and gifted in her
work with people. Her number is 510-910-6941
I'm looking for a therapist in the Martinez/Pleasant
Hill/Walnut Creek area to help with some personal and marriage
issues. I'm going to go alone without my husband. Any
recommendations for someone on ''the other'' side of the tunnel?
I would prefer a female, and they must accept MHN
Need to unload baggage and revive marriage
I highly recommend Marc Berke of the Diablo Counseling Associates.
He is a great guy, a good listener, fun...and very ''real''. He is a
bit expensive at $135 an hour...but...my husband and I were headed
toward divorce a year ago...and he helped us to save our marriage.
I was wondering if anyone could possibly recommend a warm,
friendly therapist for couples' counseling? My fiance and I
have some specific issues that need addressing before we get
I can highly recommend Winifred Reilly as a couple's therapist.
My husband and I saw her for about a year and she really helped
work miracles in our marriage. She works with you for 2 hours
every other week. It's intense, but you get stuff done.
I have no idea if she takes insurance or not. Her number is:528-
0802. Her office is on Milvia in north Bkly.
I would recommend our couples therapist-- Susan Stoeffler. She
is thoughtful and gives us both time to express ourselves while
also asking good questions that prompt us to get into root
causes rather than fixating on the argument du jour. She takes
Blue Cross PPO and has been great working thru the payment
system with us. She's in Berkeley and her number is 510-287-
8715. good for you guys for recognizing the need to
communicate well early!
My husband and I have been seeing Jean Shimozaki (LCSW) in her
Berkeley practice since last Fall, and we couldn't recommend her
more. She's helped us both finally ''hear'' some of the issues
we've been voicing to one another for years, and we feel we've
made great progress with her. She's very warm, creates a
comfortable space, and can definitely help with
cognitive/behavioral work. Unfortunately, not sure what
insurance she accepts. Good luck!
My husband and I neeed a marriage therapist very urgently
otherwise we are going to divorce pretty soon. We live in San
Ramon and someone in the area would be very helpful since we
have a 2 month old son. Please help, I don't know what to do
Try Susana Charm at (925) 934-4744. Her office is in Walnut
Creek. I have never seen her as a therapist. She is my
neighbor. However, I know that she is very qualified, teaches at
JFK, has been in private practice many years and has also worked
as the counselor at The Athenian School for many years. Good luck.
I moved to Marin and I can't find a resource there for
recommendations like BPN. Has anyone lived there (or not) who
can recommend a good couple's therapist, preferably in the San
Rafael, Fairfax, Ross area?
My friend is a great therapist, Stephanie Berglund, in San
Raphael. Steph has been a therapist for over 20 years and is a
wonderful, caring and very perceptive gal.
Her number is :415 454-4478. Please tell her that June sent you.
Martha Lawlor, MFT is an excellent couples therapist located in San
Rafael. 415-459-1345. Experienced, fair to each member of the couple,
and depth-oriented. She is also a Jungian analyst. Highly
I recommend Susan Quigley, Marriage and Family Therapist in San
Rafael. Office # 415 455 4998. She has been licensed for
about 14 years and has worked many years with chidren and their
parents. She is also a parent.
I recommend Lou Dangles. I don't have his number on hand, but he
has a wonderful home office in San Anselmo. He sometimes
co-counsels with his wife.
I already posted to the advice newsletter; here I am looking for
a specific referral. Here's the situation: Hubby and I have
different discpline approaches with our two young chilren -- his
tends to be authoritarian; mine is more of a ''loving boundaries''
style. On weekends, conflicts about our different styles flare up
into bickering and anger. I want to find a way to agree on
discipline. In my opinion, his ''method'' -- yelling at them and
threatening them -- doesn't work, and makes our home an unhappy
place to be. I want to see a couples counselor to work this issue
out. He says it costs too much and he thinks it wouldn't help,
although he did concede that if counseling does actually help, he
would consider it. But he wants proof before he pays. I am
looking for stories from others who have had sucess with
counseling for this problem, and in particular I would like
referrals to counselors who are particularly good with this
Sheri Glucoft Wong is an amazing family therapist. I have
worked with her as a patient (in family therapy with similar
issues) and as a colleague and she is very skilled and has a
sense of humor.
Can anyone recommend a good marriage counselor/therapist who
will accept MHN?
Can anyone recommend the name and contact information for a
good marriage counselor? We'd prefer someone in Contra Costa or
Alameda County. After many years of marriage, my husband and I
seem to have experienced a major breakdown in communication due
to a lot of pressure on us both. We love each other very much
but have lost the ability to communicate.
Dear Sad Wife,
You might want to try Dr. Joanne Chao in Oakland (near the
Berkeley border). She is warm, fair, and helped our
communication greatly. She is an active therapist who is not
afraid to call us you on your ''stuff,'' but does so in way that
you can hear it.
Her contact information is:
6536 Telegraph Avenue
Sorry to hear you're going through rough times. I'd like to recommend Susan J.
Kahn (she goes by S.J.). She's located on College Ave. in Rockridge. I can't find her
number at the moment, but she's really great.
-been there in Berkeley
I highly recommend Marion Pastor. She helped my husband and I
get through a major communication barrier last year, and I feel
like we're stronger than ever now. She lives and works in the
Berkeley hills. She is a very, very skilled therapist, and not
terribly touchy-feely - i.e., she has no problem cutting through
the bull**** and getting to the feelings behind what you are saying.
My husband and I have been seeing Winifred Reilly (in N. Bkly).
She's really great and has helped us tremendously with our
communication difficulties. One thing I really love is that she
doesn't take sides but really pins us to the wall
appropriately. We've learned a lot from her and our marriage is
getting back on track. Her number is: 528-0802. Good luck.
My marriage is in urgent need of counseling about many issues,
including almost inexistent sex life. We would like a counselor
that follows the approach of David Schnarch (author of
''Passionate Marriage'') and is located in the East Bay. Sliding
scale or reasonable fee would be a plus. I have looked through
the archives and I have not seen any therapist that responds to
this description. Any recommendations would be highly appreciated.
Try Heidi Berrin Shonkoff at 849-4106. She had us each read the book and I believe
she studied with David Schnarch as well. All around, we think she is great. Good
I am looking for a couples counselor who can address the
possibility that my husband and I may not be able to work
out our marital problems. We have been in couples
counseling for years, but recently as I have become
increasingly unhappy, it seems like our counselor has
difficulty really addressing the fact that we might not be able
to give each other what we both want and need. I am
looking for a smart, straight-shooter who isn't afraid to
challenge each of us, and who doesn't assume that we can
work everything out because we love each other. I hope we
don't have to split, but I'm tired of the difficult stuff being
swept under the carpet for fear it will be too much for us to
manage. Maybe a counselor who has been through a
divorce him/herself? And ideally, $100 or less per session.
Oh, and in your recommendations, please refrain from
advising me about what I should do in my marriage.
ready to face the worst
Hi, I have to applaud your bravery at wanting to really figure
out if your marriage can work or not. My partner and I spent
thousands of dollars going to several different couples
therapists over 3 years, and we both feel that we did more
important and effective work in our first 2 hour meeting with
Heidi Berrin Shonkoff (849-4106) than we had in all those 3
years. She's brilliant at cutting through BS and getting to
the heart of matters quickly. She's challenging and she's
compassionate. She's worth every penny (not cheap!). We saw
her for a year and a half, and have just recently returned to
her for a post-baby overhaul. I don't believe it's easy to get
in to her practice, but worth a wait in my opinion.
Hi - we have the best couples therapist of all time and literally over 9
other couple friends agree. She is concrete, VERY perceptive (intuitive),
pragmatic, goal oriented, to the point and wise. Also, she lets you go
when she thinks you are done - we and others have literally been told
we were done and to come back when we needed a tune-up (which we
periodically do). Two of the nine couples I know who have gone to her
have gotten divorced and she (and her husband Phil who is a great
therapist esp. for men and is in the same building) were very supportive
of the divorce.
Her # is 510-658-6282 - her name is Tobey Hiller and she is Oakland
My husband and I are heading towards a ''good'' divorce with the
excellent and insightful help of Dr. Richard Bush in Berkeley.
He's on the MHN network. We are much better co-parents as a
result and I anticipate we'll even continue to be good friends
when all is said and done. Good luck.
I have a great counselor!! Her name is Margaret Thompson, She
is based in Oakland near Kaiser Hospital. Good Luck!!
I highly recommend Isadora Alman in San Francisco, near Laurel
Village. She is non-judgemental and specializes in Couples
Counseling. 415 386-5090. www.askisadora.com/isadora.asp
A great couples' therapist is Austin Hurst, Ph.D. in Lafayette--
945 Risa Road, Ste. A Lafayette, CA 94549(925) 283-5740.
I know of an excellent psychologist in Rockridge. He is very
straight to the point. He also can help without taking years to
intervene. His name is David Krause, Ph.d. I believe his fee
$130, but will probably slide to $100. His number is
510-287-5898. Good Luck!
We work with Susan Schreier Williams and Sola Williams. One
of the first things they say is that we have to be willing to
let go of the relationship in it's present form. They speak
really directly, sometimes shockingly so, and it's been an
incredible help for my partner and I to be met in places we
have never been met before. Their approach goes well beyond
traditional talk therapy and we have made progress quickly and
profoundly. I love having a man and woman combo, because then
we get both perspectives. They have been married for around 6
years. I highly recommend them. Their sessions are $125 for
an hour and a half, but we go every other week and that's
plenty. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
Nancy-Levine Jordano is a counselor who will tell a couple that
their differences are irreconcilable, if that is indeed the
case. She bore this sad but true news to me and my ex-wife, and
there has no never been any doubt to my mind that 1) she did
everything she could as a therapist to bring us together and 2)
that her eventual recommendation that we separate was the
correct one. She has an office in Oakland by Lake Merritt; her
number is (925) 944-5699.
You may want to try Dr. Michael Smith in Oakland. His number
is 510-530-7900. I'm not sure how much he charges. I saw him
individually a few years ago and was paying less than $100.
I can't recommend Leslie Kirby highly enough. She has absolutely
been instrumental in saving our marriage - BUT never once showed
any signs of being afraid to take us wherever we needed to go -
including splitting up - which we came very close to doing. She
is the best therapist I've ever worked with - she is experienced,
articulate, kind and direct, and approachable. In the hardest
times, I felt safe with her and always felt she had my best
interest at heart. The only thing is that she may not be taking
more clients right now, but you should still contact her because
that changes all the time. 510-843-7555. Her office is near
Berkeley Bowl. All the best with your journey.
I highly recommend Dr. Winston Valois (510-849-3211) in
Berkeley. I have been to several couples therapists, most of
whom were not helful and some were even detrimental to my
marriage. He is the very best, right to the point and is
everything you are looking for.
That being said, I would also add that although it is quite a
financial and emotional investment, I have always been happier
with therapists when I have taken the time to shop around, going
to 2-3 before making my final decision.
I am looking for an exceptional marriage & family therapist to
help me heal & help my husband face some issues about his
infidelity in our marriage. We have young kids so I am
committed to trying to make the marriage work, and am looking
for someone who has been successful in making marriages thrive
after an affair. Berkeley or Montclair areas preferable.
Please try Gail Alter in Berkeley. Her number is 510/433-
2972. We saw her for several years, and she was patient,
nurturing and validating. This must be a tough time for you,
and I applaud you for wanting to make your marriage work.
Gail helped us through some difficult times - I hope she is
able to help you as well.
My husband and I went to see Dr. Bruce Cribley in Oakland, off
of Grand Ave. I don't know that this is his area of expertese
(sp?) but my husband had been unfaithful before we got married
and Bruce helped us work through it. We've been very happy now
for 2 and a 1/2 years. If you're interested his number is 510-
530-4112. Good luck.
I think that Cheryl Jones, 510-653-7374, has a good grasp on the
issues surrounding marital stress and families, and what it takes
to maintain a union. She certainly doesn't believe that
relationships are doomed if infidelity has occurred.
Hi Anon 'Trying to Heal'...
I first want to offer you my support and praise your effort to
try and heal your relationship after an affair.
Although I had no children at the time, I experienced a
similar 'violation' of my marriage many years ago.
After picking myself up off the floor from the shock of it, I
underwent individual as well as couples counseling (my husband
had 1:1 counseling, too) to try and save our marriage.
It is a painful road, and much comes out that might take you by
surprise, but if you are both committed to making it work,
chances are it will.
Both my husband and I are eternally grateful to Dr. Mary Herget
who practices in SF. She used to teach grad classes to student
therapists in Berkeley and I believe she used to practice in
Berkeley, but may no longer. Her number is 415-221-9973. To
this day, I send a holiday card to her updating her on our
At one of our last sessions with her all those years ago, she
asked us what she could tell her students that, in our
experience, helped us begin to rebuild our relationship. We
both agreed that we had to take responsibility for our part in
the relationship and that both of us had a role to play in its
Now, 11 years and 3 children later, I still believe that.
Lastly, there's a couple of very important things I want to
tell you; Don't offer your forgiveness to your husband until
you are ready and really feel it...no matter how much he needs
to hear it. Secondly, heal in your own time, not in the
timeframe that your husband, therapist, friends, parents or
siblings wants you to. You can't force yourself to close the
wound. It can only happen over time.
I rarely think about what happened all those years ago--I
thought at the time not a day would go by without my crying
about it. But time does heal; and odd as it may sound, you
will be stronger for this experience in some way, some day.
I am sending you a hug and support from...
Someone who's been there
Can anyone recommend a smart and insightful marriage counselor? Thank you for any leads.
Mary Ann Regan
Apart from the fact that this has been a specially stressful
year (new baby, and some financial problems), I do feel that
I'm having problems in my marriage. But we're willing to fight
for it. Anyone out there knows a good and compassionate
counselor? (affordable too!) It is very important for us that
he or she is open to other cultures. Both my husband and I are
not from the U.S. and were raised by non-American parents.
Thank you for any insight you may have.
New mommy in trouble
Sola Williams & Susan Schreier Williams
Looking for a good therapist in SF to help explore what separation/divorce might
look like for us and our 3 year old. We've been to 3 different couples' therapists and
have not been able to get 'unstuck' in our 5 year marriage. My husband can talk
rings around me, so a sharp, assertive therapist might be our best bet. Any ideas?
We've been given the following names: Alzak Amlan, Shira Shore, and Sheri
Raley...anyone had any experience with either of them? Thanks.
Stuck and Scared in SF
It's not easy after a baby! My husband and I are looking for a
great couples therapist. Probably would prefer an MFT in or
close to our area - Lincoln Heights near Mormon Temple - and
someone who had Blue Shield as a provider.
Related page: Therapists for depression
Can anyone recommend a couples counselor with experience and/or
expertise in working with couples where one partner suffers from
depression? My husband & I have been seeing a counselor for a
while, but it just doesn't seem to be working. He suffers from
sometimes serious depression (and is in treatment), but our
current counselor seems uncomfortable addressing the effect of
his depression on our relationship (she doesn't think it's
about ''us''). I believe that the depression is the REASON we've
been having problems, not a side issue. I'm trying to find a
new person who is willing to tackle this issue head-on.
I've looked at previous recommendations, but no one seems to
mention depression as a particular issue for couples
counselors. Since I've been burned once, I don't want to take
the chance that any ''good'' counselor will intuitively know how
to handle a depressive partner situation.
East Bay or SF is fine. Someone in Kaiser would be great, but
went through the same exact issue with my husband. Joyce
Lindenbaum was our savior. on college near Diesel Books. Ph:
Dana Locke is a thoughtful, warm, insightful individual and
couples'psychotherapist with an interactive style. She will
definitely address the impact of your husband's depression on
the marriage. She leaves no stones unturned. Her office is
conveniently located at the corner of Claremont and College.
Her number is 510-655-2823.
My husband and I are considering couples therapy with Jay
Earley and Bonnie Weiss. While there is a favorable
recommendation in the archives regarding life coaching, I was
wondering if anyone has had any experience with them in couples
I have been working with Bonnie Weiss as my coach/therapist for
over a year and a half and think she is super. While I do not
have direct experience with her and Jay as a couples therapist,
we have certainly covered a number of relationship issues. I
think her background in gestalt therapy, coaching, and more
recently family sytems theories would make her an excellent
choice for a couples therapist. I also think Jay is highly
(Editor note: Contact info as of Sept 2007: Bonnie Weiss LCSW 415 924-5200 firstname.lastname@example.org
I don't know about the therapists you mentioned, but we have been to several
different ones and can say that we have never found anyone close to the
effectiveness of Denah Joseph. She doesn't beat around the bush, is fair, and
pushes both members of the couple to grow individually and as a couple. She is
located in Oakland on Peidmont
I am looking for updated
recommendations on a good marriage counselor. No touchy feely
stuff, but rather someone who can help my husband and me
communicate effectively, help us articulate difficult feelings
in a safe place, and really hear each other. We have a 2 year
old and have been trying unsuccessfully for the past 9 months to
have a second child. Now my husband is having second thoughts
about expanding our family. Our marriage really went south after
we had our first child and it was a tremendously stressful time
for both of us. (I ended up in therapy, he ended up in anger
management counseling). We pulled our marriage back together
without marriage counseling and things are better now, but we
are both scarred from the experience and he, especially, is
afraid that the stress of a second child will cause things to
fall apart again and that we won't be able to survive it. I
think we never really tackled the underlying issues that led to
the bad times and they are resurfacing again in this dilemma.
Recommendations for therapists who have dealt with this kind of
thing would be helpful.
Trying to find our way
My recommendation for someone to help with communication between
two people would be Winifred Reilly. She works out of her home
in Berkeley. I don't have her phone number any more, but if you
can find her, and she has time for you, she's great. She has a
good sense of humor, too.
A Poor Communicator
My husband & I are seeing Howard Hamburger (653-6393) He's in
Oakland off Piedmont Ave. We had seen two other couples
counselors before (from the ucb recommendations) and while they
were nice their approach didn't work for us. We are dealing
with many issues - children (yes the relationship went downhill
after our child was born), depression and financial stress in
our life. We view life completely differently and can hardly
have a conversation without arguing. With Howard's help we are
slowly getting through this. He's very intuitive, does not get
emotionally involved (which the others did) and knows how to
keep you on track. Feel free to email me with any questions.
Good luck. Until seeing Howard I had lost faith in couples
I'd recommend Dr. Deborah Joy (phone: 524-8284, practice is on
Solano in Albany). She's very smart and compassionate, and
good at helping couples work on practical communication skills
and reestablishing loving feelings. The emphasis is building
the positive in your relationship, and working through problems
without getting mired in blame-throwing and anger. She's
helped us with some of the exact issues you mention: making a
decision about a second child when the first (though deeply
loved) stressed our marriage, dealing with a period of
infertility (which she herself struggled with, having a child
fairly late in life), and anger management. We were in bad
shape when we started with her, and are on much more solid
ground now...and happily expecting our second child. Good luck
any recommendations for a good, affordable couples counselor in
Dr. Beth Ferree in Lafayette (925-284-3665) has helped us a lot.
She is a great listener but quickly helps you get to the root of
the problem (in a gentle, supportive way) and then gives you
easy suggestions (make some time to talk, go out more as a
couple, etc.) for improving your everyday relationship. She was
not covered by my insurance but was worth every out-of-pocket
I am in need of a recommendation for a couples therapist who
specializes in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in the Bay Area.
Thank you for any responses.
I can strongly recommend Mary Bradford, PhD. Her office is in
central Berkeley. She works with couples from the EFT
perspective. Very experienced, very knowledgeable, very good
therapist. Her office number is: 510-843-5508.
We are looking for a marriage counselor in the Lamorinda area.
We may be considering Cindy Hill-Ford or Colette Bischer-Choate.
Any thoughts about these or other therapists in this area?
Collette Bischer-Choate is a friend and collegue of mine. She is very good
with couples and families, fair, professional, and practical. I suggest
meeting with her a few times and then deciding if she's a good match for you.
Can anyone recommend an affordable couples counselor that's very
well versed in cross-cultural relationships (american woman with
a latino man. i've looked in web site and find nothing for
Mai Le is a fantastic couples counselor, although I don't know
if she has specifically addressed Latina/American issues.
However, she is Vietnamese, and her husband American, so I am
sure she is familiar with cross-cultural issues. I cannot say
enough good things about Mai, I adore her! She has 2 offices,
one in SF, and one in Berkeley. Here is her number: (415) 928-
6736. Good luck!
I am looking for recommendations for a couples counselor who is
down to earth. Pref near campus. Thanks.
I highly recommend Kirsten Beuthin, LMFT 510/652-0990. Her
office is in Berkeley. She helped my husband and I get through
some tough times, and she is down to earth and pragmatic.
I highly recommend Anthony Carpentieri (M.A., MFC). My husband
and I have found him very ''down to earth,'' sensitive yet
non-judgmental, sensible and balanced, available. Both of us
feel we have benefited from his gentle but focused interventions.
His office is 2315 Price Street in Berkeley; phone is 849-1626.
Jeremy Gordon with the Berkeley Therapy Institute (BTI) is the
most amazing wise and wonderful therapist. There is another
woman there as well and her name is Karen McLellan who is equally
wise and wonderful. You can't go wrong with either! The
practice is close to campus on MLK. The number is : (510)
841-8484. Good luck
My husband and I loved our couples counselor. She is down to
earth and close to campus (Carlton and Telegraph). Her name is
Gail Lindsay and her number is 433-9785.
My spouse and I have gone to see Dr. David Miller on
Fruitvale ave. (up in the hills) in Oakland for several years.
We first went with some real issues but lately only go as
sort of insurance. He is good, solid in his analysis and has
young children so can really relate to some of the ''family''
issues. Tel: 530.4195
I highly recommend Michael Simon, MFT. He is a wise, down to
earth therapist who sees things very clearly and is really
kind. He brought our own marriage back from the ''brink'' so to
speak and we both thought he was fantastic. I've referred
several friends to him but the down side is that his practice is
often full and can be difficult to get an appointment. Try
anyway, though--it's worth it. You can reach him at 510 433-2959.
I know of an excellent Marriage and Family Therapist not far
from Campus on Piedmont near 51st. Julie Tenenberg at 654-7017
is down-to-earth, wise, and practices with integrity. I
regularly refer people to her and get glowing reports back.
Sara Wood-Kraft, PhD. is a great down to earth couple's
counselor. She is located near the Rockridge BART station. Her
number is 510/652-6572. I highly recommend he
Has anyone had any experience with Imago Relationship Therapy,
know any therapists and would you recommend them?
Not getting the love I want
I don't know any of the therapists you listed, but our couples
therapist, Sam Tabachnik, is wonderful. I don't think he is
trained in Imago therapy officially, but he is the one who
recommended the book to us (Getting the Love you Want), so it is
at least a part of his philosophy. I think the book is really
great too, and I can't say enough good things about Sam. He is
on Shattuck in Berkeley (just past Ashby) and his # is 845-3525.
My husband and I have been having the same couple of fights over
and over for the last year or so, and are thinking that a
counselor would help us work them out. Also, since we had kids
our relationship is seriously lacking in intimacy, affection,
and romance. I've looked through the counseling postings, but
I'm having a hard time figuring out how to find a counselor.
The counselors near us, in Montclair, aren't mentioned. Can
anyone recommend someone in or near Montclair that has helped
with similar problems? We are looking for a shorter-term,
solution-oriented counselor rather than on-going therapy as we
are not in crisis or considering divorce.
We have been very happy with Marjorie Cusick, MFT. She is warm
and straightforward, communicative and both of us felt heard and
understood by her. Her office is not in Montclair but pretty
close...on College and Alcatraz.She may also have a second
office. She can be reached at 510.428.2309.
Jacob Ofman is very good - very active, smart, good ideas.
339-3090. Amazing how helpful someone good can be. Good luck
Virginia VandenBergh isn't in Montclair, but a short ride to
College Avenue near Rockridge Bart. Her # is 654-6096. I work as
a family therpist and would be happy to give other
recommendations in the surrounding area.
Not Montclair but just a short drive away: Dan Wile is in Upper
Rockridge/ Hiller Highlands and I recommend him. We only went to
him 4-5 times and he got us back on track. He is not therapy,
more like mediation. In our case, we both were motivated to get
things going but neither of us could figure out how to move
forward. He helped us pinpoint what the main ''issues'' were and
then focus our discussion on solving those rather than the
free-form go-nowhere bickering/talking that we had been doing. He
is mild-mannered, somewhat reticent, which I liked.
I am wondering if anyone could recommend a good couples therapist in the
East Bay Area (Walnut Creek/Lafayette)? Unfortunately, due to work, we
can only meet on the weekends, so if anyone knows a someone that has
weekend/Saturday hours, that would be helpful. Thanks very much for any
recommendations you can give.
Ellen Case has an office in Concord. If she doesnt work
on the weekends, perhaps she could refer you to somebody
who does. Her telephone # is 510-530-5797
We use Dr. Elizabeth Ferree in Lafayette, (925) 284-3665.
She has made my husband comfortable with the idea of
therapy, no small task! No idea if she has openings,
but you may want to give her a call.
I know an excellent couple's therapist that I saw with
my then partner and have many friends who also went to
him. His name is Andrew Michaels and he has an office
in Lafayette. I can't say enough good things about him.
I have been to a few therapists and he is by far the
best couple's therapist I have ever seen. Give him a
call and I'm not sure if he sees clients on Saturdays,
but he might. Good luck.
There is an excellent couples therapist in Orinda named
Barbara Mintzer-McMahon. I saw her a few years ago and
she was absolutely great. I am pretty sure she works
weekends. Her number is 925-254-8510. Email me if you
have any specific questions.
As for couples therapists I want to recommend Sarah
Ashton. Her number is 433-7984 and is located next to Oliveto's on
College Ave. in Oakland. I know her because I am also a
psychotherapist (I'd recommend myself except I guess that would be a
conflict of interests). I highly respect her as a therapist. She is
very smart, very compassionate but not squishy.
Here's one from friends who went to this guy before they had kids to get
help with communicating - they liked him - they have a pretty ideal
marriage as far as I can tell so it must have helped:
3120 Telegraph Ave.
I would like to suggest Sheri Glucoft Wong on Solano Ave. Last I checked,
her number was 526-5085, but that was from a while ago. She is very smart,
pragmatic and sensible and was quite helpful for both me and my husband.
She specializes in family issues and is well worth making an appointment
with and seeing if she is the right person for you and yours.
I realize that you are looking for someone in the South Bay,
however, if for any reason South Berkeley would work out for you
I would like to recommend Adria Blum. I cannot praise her highly
enough. She just simply has a wonderful way of communicating and
dealing with both persons in the situation, and is highly
compassionate about the problems you are discussing with her. You can
reach her at: (510) 486-8146.
My husband and I have a wonderful couple counselor to recommend. We have
been seeing Judith Cohen, LCSW, for 2 years and she is one of the most
impressive therapists I have ever met. I mention this here because she is
building her practice and it occurred to me that someone (family, couples)
might be grateful for the recommendation! Judith is warm, intuitive,
empathic and generally a life saver. She charges $95 an hour but reduces
her fee for those in need. Her offices are near the corner of San Pablo &
Marin in Albany and she can be reached at 510-527-3132.
I can strongly recommend Howard Hamburger, MFCC, as a marriage counsellor.
I believe he's been at it for 20+ years and he brings a wealth of caring and
insights. I don't know if he has any openings, but I expect my partner & I
will be wrapping up our own sessions in the not too distant future.
Unfortunately, he's neither inexpensive nor particularly close to UC: Our
sessions are $90. His office is at 19 Gleneden Ave in Oakland, which is just
off Piedmont Ave. near Pleasant Valley Ave. His work number is 653-6393.
I HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend Deborah Joy, PhD, in North Berkeley, at
524-8284. She helped put my 15 year relationship and 9 year marriage
back together so that we're much better together than we had ever been
before. One less divorce, one more in-tact family, and one more
satisfying and hope-filled love affair later, I don't think we could have
done it without her. Deborah is highly intelligent, highly intuitive, and I
can't recommend her enough. Best of luck.
We love our counselor, Dean Lobovits. He has an office at 5th and Cedar.
Great guy, very perceptive. He might be a bit too much of a SNAG
(Sensitive New Age Guy) for you, though. I'd schedule a trial
visit/interview, and see what you think.
Dean has rehabilitated the whole species of couple's
counselors for me! I can't recommend him highly enough.
Regarding coverage, Dean is NOT on Health Net, but he does take Blue Cross
Prudent Buyer, and many other PPO's. Usually, HMO's provide very limited
Mental Health benefits. Often, it's something like 5 to 20 visits per
year, with a co-pay of $20 to $30, and you have to use THEIR therapists
(which are very few in number). And you have to have your Personal Care
Physician recommend that you do it. Very complex, and almost never worth
it, in my opinion.
David Max is an excellent couples counselor. He has this canny ability to
teach you how to hear what the other person is saying and at the same time
to feel that he has supported both of you. I believe his telephone number
is (510) 428-1671.
I understand your situation and can greatly empathize. My husband
and I have had a long, rocky road. We started seeing a therapist together
about 2 years ago before we were even married. I highly recommend our
therapist, Dr. Donald McKillop. He is an excellant, compassionate
therapist and a wonderful human being. And, he practices here in Berkeley
on Channing so he's walking distance to the campus.
mean time, hang in there. I know what its like to be pregnant and
contemplating a divorce. I was there not too long ago. There are
services around to help. It just might take a little research to find
more info about them.
Dr. Gilbert Neuman, PhD. He is excellent, active listener, remembers
details and provides very candid feedback. Not at all just a chat session.
He can be reached at 841-9230.
My husband and I have the most amazing couple's counselor. Her
name is Heidi Berrin-Shankoff (849-4106), and I swear, if anyone
can rehabilitate your marriage, she can. We've been seeing her
for going on three years now, and it's a rare session that doesn't
leave me impressed with her insight and skill. She cuts through
the crap in no time, and is good at making each person feel heard
and supported. I couldn't recommend her higher - if you go to her
and stick it out for a while, either your relationship will heal
or together you'll decide to part with a sense of resolution.
This is in response to the couple seeking a marriage counselor. There's a
very wise, down-to-earth therapist on Park Blvd. in Oakland (she may also
have an office in Albany area.) Her name is Sandra Stark (482-1003.) She
does individual and couples counseling. I can't say enough nice things
about her. I've known several people who have seen her over the years and
everybody seems to value her advice. She is definitely not a touchy feely
Judith Tabb, 527-9645. She lives in Berkeley and has an office in her
home. I believe she also has an office in Marin, but we saw her in the
evening at her Berkeley location. Best of luck.
Try Dan Wile, 510 654 7390. He has been tremendously helpful -
very smart, very perceptive. He's a PhD in upper Rockridge.
On the high end, at $100/hr, but worth it if you can afford it.
re Therapist for abusive husband/possible divorce ...
I recommend Dr. William Smith (Oakland) from personal experience of
this nature. He was terrific and had ways of reaching both of us via
metaphors targeted at each that were perfect for us to understand,
internalize, and implement.
For the woman looking for a therapist in the domestic violence situation: I
can recommend two people who are very good couples and individual therapist
and have experience with domestic abuse:
Ruth Paris LCSW PhD
Audrey Nulman PhD
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