Berkeley Parents Network: Therapist for Adoption Issues

Berkeley Parents Network

Therapist for Adoption Issues

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Adopted daughter's grief about her original family
Therapist for Post Adoption Depression
Adoption literate therapist
Family Therapist w/ some experience w/ adoption issues
Therapist for Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder

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Adopted daughter's grief about her original family

Oct 2008

My daughter is adopted from China and is now 8 years old. Though we have tried so many approaches and numerous processes and tons of love, she seems to have a constant ache and rage in her heart around having been deserted by her original family. I have concluded that she needs grief/mourning help since, in reality, she feels a constant sense of loss without resolution (ie no information available to Chinese adoptees on who their parents are). This pain confuses and upsets her and our whole family has now developed many patterns around it. I want to desperately find help for her and ultimately for our whole family around her mourning.

Looking for a practitioner who know and understand the unique deep and ongoing mourning of children whose parents don't ''exist'' for them to interact with, yet who are not actually ''deceased''. It's a terrible vague sadness and rage in her daily life. We have already read a lot of books, now are open to any processes that have been materially shown to help with this issue. Could be therapy, could be art, could be...? Thank you! We live in San Leandro, but will take referrals to anyone in the Bay Area.

Please give Casi Kushel (Walnut Creek, 932-9898) a call and see if she can help. She has done special work with children of immigrant families and has been involved with orphans in Afghanistan, helping them to heal from the loss and traumas they've faced. Christina

Leslie, I HIGHLY recommend Virginia Keeler-Wolf, MA, MFT and Laura Soble, MA, MFT, REAT of the Bay Area Attachment Center, 510-339-9363. Both are excellent and specialize in adoption issues. Please see their website http://www.attachmentadoption.net/index.html I wish you, your daughter, and family the best. Nancy

I know of a wonderful group in Oakland that deals with adoption issues; their website is http://www.attachmentadoption.net/index.html. My kids see Laura Soble and Stacy Ouetten, who are both terrific (fyi, my kids are not adopted, but many kids in their practice are). Ann

Dear Leslie, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's grief. I imagine it's very disconcerting and frustrating to feel you are never getting anywhere. I'm a psychologist in private practice on the border of Berkeley & Oakland. I've worked with many foster families and adoptive families and their kids, including children adopted from China. I understand the sadness and abandonment these children feel as they transition to a new family. They will often dump their grief on the adoptive family for lack of an appropriate container. The right kind of therapy can provide this container for your daughter. I hope you find ease and resolution soon.

My heart goes out to your daughter and your family. I'm also the mother of a daughter adopted from China. Although she is younger then your daughter, we've also dealt with issues of grief and loss. I highly reommend a child therapist named Anne Brodzinsky (510-985-1773). She's based in Oakland and has years of experience with adoptive families (and is an adoptive mom herself). Her husband, David Brodzinsky is also supposed to be wonderful, but we have not seen him. Good luck and take care! another adoptive mom

Hi, I had recently read this article and wanted to share it with you: http://www.heartsent.org/page17.html - I believe the writer runs Heartsent Adoptions in Orinda (http://www.heartsent.org/Adoption,%20Heartsent%20domestic%20adoption.html) and maybe she could help you. I don't know if it's pertinent to your situation, but apparently Reactive Attachment Disorder is not uncommon in children with early trauma. hope this helps.

Therapist for Post Adoption Depression

Feb 2008

Hi, I am wondering if anyone has worked with a therapist dealing with possible post adoption depression? My husband and I brought our son home a few months ago and I am feeling very down and overwhelmed. It has gotten to the point where I would like to talk with a therpist to figure out what is really going on (ie new mama stuff or more serious depression). I would love to use a therapist who is familiar with adoption issues but I didn't see any previous recs for this type of therapist. Thanks for any help! New Mama in Oakland

Any one of the clinicians at the Family Attachment & Adoption Center of the East Bay (FAACE) would be qualified to work with you. You can obtain more specific information and contact details at www.attachmentadoption.net Offices are located off Park Blvd. in Oakland. Laura

Hello, I am a therapist who specializes in adoption as well as special needs. Post adoption depression is a common, usually temporary, issue that affects many new adoptive parents. The guilt and the incorrect assumption of not being entitled to having these feelings can exaserbate the condition. Sometimes it just takes time for a new adoptive parent to become comfortable in his/her new role as a parent. Rest assured that you are not alone. Barbara

I highly recommend a most compassionate and experienced therapist with offices in Albany and S.F. She is often a guest speaker on the topic of adoption. I know her as a friend but I do not hesitate to recommend her as a therapist. Lynn Watkins: (415) 648-8065 m

I too had post-adoption depression and I didn't know that it was possible to have that so you are a step ahead. I recommend Melissa Holub as an adoption aware psychologist. Her number is 658-7119. anon

I know that Laine Demetria is familiar with the world of adoption. It might be worth giving her a call. Here's her website: http://lainedemetria.com/ Good luck to you and good for you for seeking help. anon

I understand the following therapist works with families who have adopted kids: Keeler-Wolf, Virginia, MFT 1425 Leimert Blvd Ste 302 Oakland, CA 94602 (510) 339-9363 Good luck! Anonymous

Adoption literate therapist

Feb 2008

I'm looking for an adoption literate therapist in Sonoma County, preferable Santa Rosa. Any recommendations? Jen

Leslie Hansen MFCC did my homestudy when I adopted my daughter 5 years ago. She also has a private therapy practice and is very adoption-literate. She's based in Petaluma/Santa Rosa. You can reach her at 707-776-4810. adoptive mom

Lizbeth Hamlin-Haims 707-575-8189 Santa Rosa Very experienced therapist; Jungian-oriented, yet practical; Adoption-literate lisa k

Jonathan Pannor might be a great fit for you. He practices through Kaiser in San Rafael - a bit south of you, but if you can't travel there he might know of someone closer to you. Here are a couple of links to learn more about him. (He's a friend of mine. I have not been in counseling with him.) http://www.kaiserdavis.org/homepage/kaiser/doctor/jpannor/ http://www.post-adoption.org/index.htm Good luck! Lisa

Try these folks Rich Addison 707 576 9813 Works with adults and kids John Alolovitch 707 537 6832 Works with kids Both are in Santa Rosa and have adopted kids. Good luck Mark

Family Therapist w/ some experience w/ adoption issues

Feb 2007

Can anyone recommend a good family therapist, perferably in Oakland, who can help with parenting issues. Some experience with adoption preferred. Thank you in advance!! stressed out mom

Virginia Keeler-Wolf, MFT directs the Family Adoption and Attachment Center of the East Bay (FAACE), located in the Glenview area of Oakland, is a family therapist specializing in adoption and attachment issues. Her number is 510-339-9363. anonymous

I'm another adoptive parent of a newly teenage girl, doing the search for an appropriate therapist and other resources. I can give a couple of reccomendations. For racially mixed families, try PACT, An Adption Alliance. 4179 Piedmont Avenue, Suite 330 Oakland, CA 94611

(510) 243-9460 (voice) www.pactadopt.org (website) info@pactadopt.org (email)

There are two therapists who have been mentioned before on this website -- Virginia Keeler-Wolf -- 339-9363 -- and Susan Love -- 287-8981. They're in Oakland near Park Ave. Both excellent, specialists. I believe both were themselves adopted.

Finally, you might want to speak with Beth Miller, a social worker who specializes in adoption. I found her to be extremely helpful in pointing me in an appropriate direction for my daughter and our family, she's a lovely person, very ethical, knowledgeable and experienced, and her office is on Santa Clara Ave. near Ladyfingers Bakery. (510) 654-4445

Adoption issues can be very complex. I'd encourage you to take the time to find someone experienced and capable. Another Adoptive Mom

My family can recommend Virginia Keeler-Wolf. We've gotten very constructive feedback and strategies for our children who were adopted. Her contact info: 1425 Leimert Blvd. Suite #302, Oakland, 510-339-9363. Not all therapists are able or qualified to handle adoption related issues so I'll be checking the other responses with interest. Taxed to the max Mom

I'd like to recommend Lynn Watkins, MFT. She's in Albany, not Oakland, but well worth the trip. She's well versed in adoption issues and an excellent, very experienced therapist. Lynn often works with clients in reference to parenting issues, and has provided therapy to people in all the areas of the adoption triad. She works with Resolve, and has spoken at conferences on the topics of adoption and infertility. She's a warm and lovely person, too! Lynn's voice mail number is 415- 648-8065. Kathy

Someone asked for a recommendation for a therapist with experience with adoption issues. I just found out that my therapist is expanding her practice and will have some openings for new clients. I wholeheartedly recommend her: Laine Demetria, MS MFT (licensed). She has offices in Albany and also in San Francisco (at Church and Market). She would be an ideal therapist for adoption issues. Give her a call. 415-705-0776. anon

Therapist for Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder

Related page: Attachment Disorder

Feb. 2003

Can anyone recommend a good therapist who works with children/adoptees who have mild RAD (reactive attachment disorder)?

I have a daughter with RAD and we both have been seeing Debra Bartenstein (633-1563) who has been very helpful. I can recommend her highly.

Additionally, I found the ''only'' two therapists in the Bay Area who are truly specialized in RAD. I would recommend calling them too. They are Virginia Keeler Wolf at 510-339-9363 and Susan Love who's number I cannot find but she should be in the phone book and Virginia Keeler-Wolf has her number too.

Just another note: I found RAD workshops extremely helpful. Unfortunately very little is offered in the Bay Area, but CATTE in the Sacramento Area puts on workshops regularly and they are excellent (and affordable). Also, PACT is putting on a workshop on attachment soon so you might want to give them a call. If you'd like to talk some more or maybe even have playdates with a comfortable RAD mom, call me. Best wishes.
Martina,a few weeks away from finalization.

I suggest you check out Virginia Keeler-Wolf in Berkeley. Although we have just begun working with her, she was highly recommended. She says her practice is about 75% adoption-related, and she is active in PACER, and is presenting at an upcoming PACT workshop.

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