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Summer Activites for Teens

Berkeley Parents Network > Reviews > Summer Camps & School Breaks > Summer Activites for Teens


Questions Reviews of Camps for Teens

Great sleep away camp for 13-year-old boys?

Feb 2008

I'm looking for a great sleep away camp (preferably in California) for 2 middleschool boys entering 8th grade in the fall. Both are very popular at school, seem to just like to hang out and socialize, not really into sports, (more into the creative arts) and aren't too thrilled about the idea of going to a sleep away camp. However, we think it would be really good for them and that they would have a great time!


(Editor Note: click on the camps below to read the full reviews)

Hi, My children go to a great summer camp called Habonim Dror Camp Gilboa ...


I highly recommend Camp Tulequoia in the Sierra's. Both the Youth and the older Teen camp's are excellent. ...
You may want to look into Mountain Camp in the Sierras SW of Lake Tahoe. www.mountaincamp.com Our 13 year old went last year for two weeks and loved it....
I highly recommend Bar 717 Ranch www.Bar717.com. It's a sleepover camp in the Trinity Alps of Northern California. Beautiful! ...

Overnight camp for 14-y-o computer addict

Feb 2008

I have a son who has just turned 14 yrs old, and is in 8th grade. He is totally addicted to computer games and other screen forms of entertainment (TV, gameboy, etc.) and is not doing very well in school,(says it is very boring). I would like to find a summer program or camp where he could learn good values,discipline and get support and help with anger management, caring about his school work, and learn to appreciate and get involved in outdoor activities and/ or sports. We live in Berkeley and I am only interested in residential programs that are in Northern California, or non-residential programs in the East Bay.


I recommend Camp Winnarainbow for your son. Despite its slightly goofy name, this is an amazing, life changing camp, at which teen campers, especially, get a large amount of self-determination about their activities (of course there are no electronic devices around), and the main goal, though not overtly stated, is to help kids become good, caring people, in the context of having fun.

(See Camp Winnarainbow for the rest of this review).


What to do with 15-year-old this summer?

Feb 2008

I have a 15-year-old daughter and am wondering what to have her do this summer. Sitting home alone every day with nothing to do but entertain herself on the computer is not an option. I'd love some suggestions about activities that would meaningful, challenging, educational, or fun that would be appropriate for a girl who is too young to work or drive and too old to do nothing. Any and all suggestions welcome. anonymous


I have a daughter who is currently in 9th grade. this summer she turns 15 and I wonder what she will do while I work full time ( I have some flexibility in my schedule) It seems like she is too old for camp but too young for a job. she is very shy and not one to go out and ''make something happen.'' What do other working parents do with their teenagers over the summer? single mom of a teenager
That's a hard summer. They are kind of in between things. Too old for camp and too young to work. Though, that said, if your daughter is into being a counselor-in-training it's a great summer for that! There are plenty of camps in the BA that would want her. Try the City of Berkeley's camps or Monkey Business. If she is onto playing music she could take a ''class'' at that school of rock place, I can't remember the name of it! It's all over the BA. If she's into science I think the Lawrence Hall of Science has interships for kids that age. Then there is just sending her away to a relative for a week or two in some other state! Oh, there is also the Academy of Art in SF, has classes for $100! (There are also those expensive pre-college art classes at CCA, but it's not really worth it...) There are week-long sports training camps through CAL for the athlete. Dancers can take classes at Destiny Arts and Shawl-Anderson.

I think my daughter took several classes that summer, one at that music place, one at the ASUC (student union at CAL) in photography, and maybe an art class at Studio One in Oakland. I got her a pass to the Strawberry Canyon pool but summers here are dreadfully cold so that wasn't a great investment, I think she went twice! She also played softball but that was mostly in the evenings and on weekends. We also took a week to go somewhere ourselves. It was really a week of this and a week of that, a pain to coordinate. Good luck anon


I also have a 15 year old daughter. She will be a jr counselor again at Monkey Business. She was a CIT 2 years ago & then became a jr counselor. (Jr counselor is by invitation only at this camp.) She was also a CIT at Echo Lake, Berkeley's sleep-away camp near Tahoe. At 15, there are numerous CIT & JC opportunities. At this age, it's likely a reduced fee or essentially volunteering. It's great experience. Maybe she could recruit a friend to sign up with her. There are also some teen programs (there was an item about Cal's teen program in the issue that included your query) for which she could still be a camper. Good luck! another mom of teen daughter
Hi I just answered another parent with similar question. My son, his friend and I actually joined a summer camp in China last summer 2007. Both of them do not know any Chinese language. The program lasted about 3 weeks. The kids learned the Chinese language, culture. At the end of the session, they travelled to Inner Mongolia for about 4 days. The program itself is really well-organized and safe. You can check their website, it is www.sinolanguage.com . I like this camp because the kids came back with a much mature view not only to the world but to their own life. anna
How about Counselor in Training programs? Quite a variety of camps have them. You'd probably still pay for her to be thee, but she'd be with other teens, adults and little kids. You could try to find ones with activities that she'd like. Anon
I have a quiet 14 year old son and have always been in a quandry about summers, breaks, etc. A combo of 'work' and classes would be good! Here are some ideas I'm considering and you might too:
1)Volunteering at the movie theatre!-Unlimited free movies and she would get a lot of low pressure people/work experience.
2)Dog Walking/Housesitting-if she could get a friend to do it with her, even better.
3) C-Scouts-work on 'ship', learn to sail, knot tying, etc. Cheap to join, but need uniform- go on excursions, but weekend ones are a bit pricey. Search net for info.
4)City of Pinole-tv station run by teens and they teach/do all facets-camera, lighting, sound-students can act, write, do sets, etc. During year, but check if avail summers. Best of luck! amy

Affordable summer camp for 13 and 16 year olds

Dec 2007

Hi parents, I am writing on behalf of my little sister and brother. My sister is 16 and my brother is 13. I am trying to find a summer camp for them (doesn't necessarily have to be the SAME camp or program). We are looking for a program that is lengthy (lasts the whole summer ideally), affordable, and based on teens not younger children. They are willing to go anywhere in the country, as long as it's affordable! The goal is to get away from home for a summer. I think it's important that they gain some time away from my parents (who are going through a divorce and the home situation is less than healthy), where they can have safe fun and be somewhat independent teenagers for several weeks. They are social, athletic, creative, and into dance, photography, martial arts. It would great if they could meet some new friends. Unfortunately the main limiting factor is COST of the program. Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. They are also interested in summer classes, going abroad, the main limiting factor is price. We are in the financial bracket of ''not quite eligible for financial aid'' but cannot spend more than $600.00 per kid. When high school can be such a tough time, draining both mentally and physically, I'd really love for them to have a healthy, happy summer, peacefully away from the messy divorce! I appreciate any & all advice! --Big Sis


Since the money is so tight, a lot of options are cut off. But maybe they could find opportunities as counselors for younger children?

There would be other older kids also working, so it wouldn't be completely exile among children; it might even give them a little cash of their own, and it would get them out of the house and busy all summer.

I don't know their competencies, so I can't recommend anything specific, but Cal has a general summer camp that might have openings -- there are lots of programs around, and this is the time to be applying. laura


13-y-o is resisting music camp - do it anyway?

March 2007

We're thinking of sending our son to Cazadero Music Camp's Junior High session this summer. He's really been resisting the idea (at almost 13 he's never been away from home on his own for more than 2 days, and he dislikes being away too long, even with us) and I hate to push him, and spend all the money (!), if he'll really hate it. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure he'll love it, and that even if he doesn't it'll be good for him. (He plays piano & trumpet BTW - though he refuses to play piano at Caz, IF he goes.)

Does anyone have recent experience with Caz, AND/OR experience sending middle school kids to away camp, when they'd much rather stay home & play Runescape?

One of our son's friends went to Caz last year, and said he didn't like it bc he didn't know anyone. That was the only negative comment I've heard. Fortunately, two of our son's other friends may attend this summer, making the whole thing look way more attractive, even to him. Still, I could use your wise advice. Thank you! lcf


(Editor Note: Click here to read the full reviews below of Cazadero Music Camp that are excerpted below)
Cazadero Music Camp has been wonderful for our 15-year old daughter.... The environment is great. The people are warm and supportive. The music is amazing: The kids always learn a whole new program under a new conductor each week. The camp setting, along the creek, is also beautiful. I'm guessing he won't miss his video games after the first day. There's so much to do and so much fun to be had at Caz.
My son went to the beginning Cazadero camp several years ago, and it was excellent. However, I can certainly understand that your son prefers to have people there he already knows, and also may not be ready for a sleep away camp at a place he's never visited. Here are two possibilities for you to consider: (1) check out the Laney College Summer Music Program for middle schoolers. My daughter attended last year when she was 12, and although it's not as deep a music experience as ''Caz,'' it's a nearby day camp that's very affordable, and overall was an excellent experience for her despite sometimes wishing it was a little better organized. (2) consider attending one of the two Caz family camp weeks in August. That would allow you and your son to get familiar with Caz, not to mention have fun doing everything from various kinds of music to circus to visual arts to Taiko drums. It's not cheap to attend, but good value if your family has the deeply memorable experiences that many have had. -Still wearing my Caz T shirt
I've heard wonderful things about Cazadero although I have no personal experience with it. I'm sure that part of their great reputation (besides the music) comes from the fact that they provide a positive camping experience for the kids that go there!

The reason I'm writing is that I feel strongly about sending kids off to sleep-away camp. I think it's like learning to ride a bike or learning to swim or learning to drive a car---it's an important life experience that provides an opportunity for growth and sense of personal accomplishment. I went to several camps over several summers (for a week or two each). Most of them were great. Learned lots of songs, made new friends, hiked and swam. Loved riding the bus and singing ''Catalina, Madalina'' at the top of my lungs. One camp was a horrible experience, I hated my counselor, I was there for my birthday and the counselors confiscated the cookies that my grandmother sent to me (hmmm, wonder who ate those?!) But, I survived!! And, I have some pretty funny stories and great memories, even of THAT camp.

Each of my kids went off to their first camp starting the summer before 6th grade. My son went to Boy Scout camp, with a backpack full of clean clothes each marked with his name. He came home with a backpack full of clean clothes---he even survived not having showered or brushed his teeth for an entire week! (Maybe he swam that week?)

I do think it's nice if you have a friend go to the same camp---but after a couple of days at camp it won't matter if he doesn't. There will be other kids in the same boat!

I strongly encourage you to send him off! I think our kids need us to push them to do things that are a little scary or new so that they can move on to other (perhaps scary) rewarding activities---college, marriage, you know.

If he goes, definitely mail a letter off to him before he goes so that he'll get mail the first day. I always sent a magazine or quick paperback too. If the camp allows food, by all means consider a package of cookies. Helps make friends with your bunkmates!

I'd be willing to bet money that he'll have a great time. Sally


Summer Growth Experience for high school daughter

Feb 2007

I would like to find a summer experience for my high school sophomore daughter that would help develop her in a number of ways. Top 2 are self reliance and larger perspective outside of the high school ''fitting in'' microcosm. She's a good student and makes friends easily but I think she needs to develop her self confidence and get a stronger sense of who she is. Some experiences with boys are giving me cause for concern. Her interests include animals, esp.horses/ veterinary work (she has volunteered for a vet), and adults or children with disabilities and musical theater. I am open to many possibilities. I have looked at girl scout destinations - national or international trips or camp counseling. I question whether having an away from home experience might foster this as opposed to having another summer of volunteering at the vet and a school for adults with disabilities. I already know these resources.

Perhaps I ask a tall order, but as a community many of you have probably grappled with the same concerns and have had some experiences to share. Thank you
Mother


My daughter (15 at the time) spent 2 weeks last summer at the Eagle Arts Academy on Vancouver Island. (www.eaglearts.ca) She met young people from all around the world, and enjoyed structured arts experiences, beautiful scenery, and real international travel. In my experience, going away to a safe, well-structured environment is a great - and necessary - growth experience for a teenaged young lady. anon
I don't have a specific resource to share, but I would like to encourage you to allow your daughter the most expansive experience that passes your gut test. Last summer I sent my almosts 15 year old daughter, who had just finished 9th grade, to spend 6 weeks with relatives in Africa. Sounds drastic, but I know the place well and the relatives, and the flight was the scariest part. I had this strong feeling that she was ready for a new level of challenge and maturity, and that she wasn't getting it at home or school. I feared that if not challenged, she would just turn that energy into something negative -- rebelling against her parents or indulging in the scary things that ''bored'' teenagers do. I am happy to say that she had a wonderful, world-view broadening experience, and came home more mature and balanced, as I had hoped. At her relatives, she was the adored older cousin of four young ones, and treated like an honorary adult by the parents. She also volunteered at an orphanage, and saw real hardship and poverty that put Bay Area life into much broader perspective. It doesn't have to be overseas -- but some time away from home might do her a world of good in the way you are hoping. Best of luck, anne
Summer Camp may be your best bet!

Given that your daughter really likes animals, Plantation may be just the place.

I have not been to this camp personally, but it is highly recommended by my very own summer camp friends and is where they send their kids. (our camp, Camp Beaverbrook, closed in 1985, so it was not an option) Since our camp was so amazing and produced such an incredible experience, we are all quite particular when it comes to recommendations such as this.

Another choice by former Beaverbrook kids is Copper Creek. www.plantationcamp.com www.coppercreek.com Good luck!! KT Pleasanton


Sounds like the SASS program would be perfect for your daughter. It is a partnership between the amazing folks at Julia Morgan School for Girls and Mills College. Check out their website: www.summerartscienceservice.org

It is ''a unique residential summer program for high school girls (entering 10th and 11th grade) located on Mills College campus. The program is designed to promote a young woman’s sense of purpose and make a difference in the world. The hands-on, project-based curriculum integrates art, science and service learning around the theme of nature and understanding one's place in the web of life.''

Summer 2007 Sessions Session One: June 17-30 Session Two: July 1-14 Contact: Kristen Brookes, Director of SASS Julia Morgan School for Girls 510.632.6340 x115 kbrookes[at]juliamorganschool.org

Jennifer


Summer outdoors adventure for teens

Feb 2007

Does anyone know of a good summer 1-2 week program in the US for teens, involving outdoor wildernness adventure/skills/training--eg backpacking, hiking, ocean, kayaking, whitewater, etc.? There are so many programs; it's hard to know which are quality and safe. We're looking for outdoor adventure/skills, but not dangerous, good supervision, for two competent boys ages 14&15. Thank you! anon


I'd recommend Lifeschool. My then 15 year old son went last summer on a hike on the Lost Coast and had a great time. It also included a white water raft trip. He didn't even know anyone to begin with. They offer lots of different levels and locations. see their website http://www.lifeschooladventures.org/
sylvia

Summer Day Camp for 13 year old boy

Jan 2007

My stepson comes out from Indiana to stay with me and my husband during the summertime. He is going to be 13 this summer and we both work outside the home in Walnut Creek. What are some summer DAY camps that we should look into for teen age kids? Last year he was in a Sports Camp which he loved but has an age limit of 12. We do not want an overnight camp since he is only with us for 7 weeks. Any advice would help. We're new to the East Bay and do not know parents with kids his age. Liz, East Bay


Take look at Adventure Day Camp which is right in your neck of the woods in Walnut Creek. They have programs for kids through 9th grade. My son will be going there for the third year this summer. He's younger than yours but he really enjoys the tremendous variety of activities. Older kids get to sail, kayak, horseback ride, etc. You can check it out online at adventuredaycamp.com. You could also check out the CIT program for kids 11-15 at Sarah's Science ''This Land Is Your Land'' camp. www.sarahscience.com Fran
Check out Cal Adventures at http://calbears.berkeley.edu/insidepage.aspx?uid=0f65eaf9-fb1c-4327-b6a6-3a44ada5e072
It is run by the recreation department at UC Berkeley and offers a wide variety of camps in the summer time. There also may be orpportunites for him to be a CIT or junior CIT at some of the camps that age out at 12. So check out camps with stuff he likes and see if they have early CIT programs (If you htink he'd like that) Mom

Outdoor adventure program for 14-year-old

Dec 2006

I'm looking for a 3-to-4-week outdoor adventure for my 14 year old daughter this summer. I have explored Outward Bound but would like some suggestions from parents who have had good experiences with other outfits. There are many listed on the web, but I would like a more personal referral. Thanks whitney


My son, now 15, has done Teen Quests through Camp Tawonga for the last three summers. These are trips for groups of 10-12 kids, with three counsellors, to places like the Pacific Northwest, Canada, the Southwest and Southern California. There is a lot of hiking, some backpacking and, depending on the trip, whitewater rafting, rockclimbing, or kayaking. Most important, these trips foster community and responsibility. The staff works hard to create a community in the group, keeping cliques from forming and making everyone accountable to everyone else. The kids set up camp, shop, cook, clean -- everything. Our son has come back each year happy (and filthy), with new confidence, skills and friends. It has been a wonderful part of his growing up.

Tawonga is a Jewish Camp, but kids do not have to be Jewish to go either to the Camp or on the Teen Quests. The trips do have some Jewish ritual incorporated, like making kosher meals and celebrating Shabbat. But it is pretty low key, especially since not all the kids and/or counsellors are Jewish. We are culturally Jewish but non-practicing, and basically atheist. The ritual part of Tawonga was no problem for us.

Check out www.Tawonga.org Big Tawonga Fan


13-year-old loves the camp but hates the overnights

Jan 2006

my 13 year old son has attended a wonderful day camp for the past four years and has enjoyed it as much as he enjoys anything. the problem is that the camp has two overnights per session that increase in length each year (for example, the two nighter for 4th graders is a three nighter for 6th graders). He absolutely will not stay overnight. Promises, threats, cajoling, bribing, etc. have not worked and I always end up driving for 1 to 3 hours to pick him up. This also results in many lost days of camp which have already been paid for (it ain't cheap!). AND...since all of his friends are away at camp he sits home and does nothing for those missed days. Well this year I have put my foot down and told him that we will have to find another day camp that doesn't have overnights. Yes, he's anxious; yes we've tried therapy; yes, he has friends at the camp who do stay overnight; yes, we've tried negotiating with the camp. The ideal situation for him (and me) would be some kind of Outward Bound program where he couldn't possibly come home but since that won't be happening I was hoping BPN folks could recommend local day camps. Sports camps are out, as is Abantey (hated it). Thanks everyone.
Can't Afford Brat Camp


I would like to recommend http://www.mixberkeley.com/ if your son is at all interested in music and/or computers. MixLab is a audio and media production class that runs as an after school program durring the school year and camp durring the summer. My children attend the school where this camp is held and I can highly recommend this teacher and any other staff that your son may come in contact with. Feel free to contact me with any questions. Natasha
My advice is that your son could be a Junior Counselor in Training at one of the day camps for younger kids that does not have overnights. City of El Cerrito recreation has a Jr. CIT program that can be a really good experience. The CITs receive training and are expected to learn to be responsible and organized. Other cities and the Y probably have similar programs. In El Cerrito you pay only the administrative costs of participation, so it is much cheaper than being a camper. -parent of a teen
For many years I sent my daughter to a summer camp she enjoyed, which also had overnights that grew longer as she got older. She also didn't want to go on overnights, and I remember several long drives to far away locations to pick her up, arguments about my paying and her at least giving it a try, etc.
My advice: don't push it. If you found a camp he likes, stick to it as he has friends and continuity. On the overnights, have him make playdates with friends so he's not just sitting at home. Don't create more anxiety for this type of kid. My daughter eventually outgrew her fears, to the point that now at 19 she hiked by herself through Spain and will be spending next year in a university in Africa. Some kids are just more cautious and have more fears than others, and they need to take their own time feeling comfortable in situations. Don't make a big deal out of it. Been There
having picked up my kid from numerous day camp overnights and sleepovers at friends' homes, I know well of what you speak, and clearly remember the frustration. so I know what you're going through.

but in terms of your kid's day camp for this summer, unless finding something else for him to do during the overnight would constitute some kind of real financial hardship (and at 13, maybe he can stay home for a day or two?), I would simply suck it up and send him back to the camp that he really likes and has friends at even though he'll miss the overnight. if you force him to go to another camp, you're basically punishing him for having whatever psychological issue makes it difficult to spend the night away from home. and as weird as that might seem to you and me as parents, apparently some kids have that issue longer than we might think is ''appropriate.'' (my kid recently decided that overnights are fine, and I was totally unaware of what made this change happen.)

so just let it slide, send him back to the camp he loves, and who knows? maybe by this summer he'll be ready to do the overnight. best wishes and good luck. anon


Summer for 15-year-old step-daughter with attitude

May 2006

My almost 15 year old stepdaughter will be coming to live with us in Berkeley this summer. She is not excited about this fact, as she has got that ''attitude'' that seems to accompany adolescence (part of the reason she is coming to live with us). I am looking for suggestions and/or opportunities for her to make some social connections (we know no teenagers around here). Are there groups/classes/summercamps? She doesn't have a lot of interests other than watching tv and playing with make-up. Also, should we provide her an allowance that is somehow tied to responsibilities? I want her to have some freedom but also know she will be expected to contribute. She does not have this set-up at home (hence all the tv-watching). I expect the transistion will be difficult for all of us at first, but I am hoping to provide her with some opportunities to make this summer not the ''drag'' she inticipates it to be... NOT the wicked stepmother


Would classes be an option? It might be nice to give her a choice, tell her you want to make sure she meets some people her own age, and has a few activities that she knows she'll like. The Crucible has some interesting classes for teens. http://www.thecrucible.org/classes/index.html

Also, if she likes applying makeup, how about letting her feel good about that. There are some retirement communities that would love a teen volunteer to come once a week and apply makeup to their residents. Give the teen a sense of purpose and make a senior's day! Ann S.


Your posting already sounds negative and your stepdaughter hasn't even arrived, you need to have a much more open mind about this new person who will be living in your home and since you are the stepparent, this is not your responsibility to make these decisions for her summer, it is the dad's child and better for him to step in here and for you to back off - this will be a much more difficult transition for the teen than it will be for the adults, she will feel uncomfortable in a new city, new rules, new bedroom, god the changes this kid will have to adjust to will be huge and your only job is to make her summer as pleasant and happy as possible and if you can act as a positive and welcoming steparent, your stepdaughter will adjust much more quickly and everyone will benefit. and by the way you obviously aren't around teens much as they all like to watch TV too much. Do you have a computer for her to keep in contact with all the friends she will be apart from, how about suggesting the two of you go shopping to Target and get her new sheets, new comforter, new pillow, nightlight and other things to make her feel welcome. Movies are $10.00 a ticket, BART to SF is over $6.00 roundtrip - everything is expensive so be generous with your allowance, there are many postings for babysitters and check with your neighbors on babysitting possibilities. Provide time for dad and daughter to go out together - it is very important for dad to spend time with his daughter over the summer. And by the way 'attitude' is part of the standard teenager personality - they all have it, it's all in the way adults respond. 15 is a very difficult age and having to cope with a new living arrangement at this young age will be challenging for everyone. JLS
My two teens think Berkeley is TEEN HEAVEN -- the ease of public transportation, the variety of things to do, etc. It won't be too hard to find something for her besides TV, as long as she's willing to participate in an organized activity. Two quick suggestions:

1. Academy of Art summer experience for high schoolers -- if she likes art at all, the variety of college-level courses in this program is great. Located in SF, close to BART, inexpensive for you, very hip for her. www.academyart.edu

2. Does she like acting? Berkeley Rep has theater courses/workshop in the summer. Easy to get to on BART or bus. good luck! Lisa McL


It's hard to find summer camps for 15 year olds, but there are a couple of good ones where she might make some friends. Ask her which ones she might like to do:

Beginning windsurfing camp at the Berkeley Marina through Cal

High school students program at Contra Costa Civic Theater good luck


Last minute summer plans for 15 year old

May 2004

Well we didn't plan on it this way but several things fell apart and now my 15 yr old daughter has nothing set for the summer and no desire for anything that I suggest--can't see her sitting at home so wondering if anyone has any ideas on what short term (1 week -3 week) programs or ''things'' are available in this area for a non motivated teen who'd rather be somewhere else, but can't be. any ideas welcome
richard


Even with advanced planning our 15 year olds will be
1)working out at the Y,
2)reading books,
3)helping around the house,
4)finishing lingering academic requirements and
5) Rowing with ''Row Oakland 2004''out of the Old Lake Merritt Boathouse (They're already rowers and will be interning).

Row Oakland offers 3 two-week programs (the first begins 6/21 and the last ends 7/30) and both morning or afternoon sessions. Its a great chance to get a workout and a tan, learn a new skill and meet other teens, close to home. The interns for this program tend to be kids your daughter's age from the Berkeley (boys and girls) Crew, and it is run by the BHS Crew Head Coach. Each 2 wk, 1/2 day session cost $90, with fee waivers available. Phone 510-273-9041 for more information. Heather



Looking for suggestions for summer camps

April 2004

We are looking for some suggestions for summer camps for teens that may be off the beaten path or not advertised as heavily as the YMCA, etc... Cal has some great programs, but they run from 9:30 to 4:00 and as working parents, we cannot transport our children within this time...We are curious if anyone has found out something that we haven't. Thanks for any imput!

Recommended:

  • Outward Bound
  • Young Actor's Summer Theatre Overnight Camp

    Summer Battles: Doing Nothing vs. Doing Something

    March 2001

    Dear Parents, I am gearing up for our usual summer battle. My husband and I would like our daughter to use some of her summer for either volunteering, taking a class or working at a paying job. She is very resistant to the idea of doing anything but hanging out with her friends. Does anyone have any clever ideas as to how I might suggest a way in which she herself might find something constructive to do? Any resources for summer activities for teens which are community service oriented ? I feel I am asking really dumb questions here, but I really don't know what to do. When I even broach the subject of doing something other than playing the whole summer "by ear" my daughter gets combative. I must be doing something wrong. All I want to convey to her is: You must find something [acceptable to me and Dad] to occupy a minimum of 50% of your time and the best way to have some choices would be to start looking around now. Does this sound reasonable to other parents out there? Am I being heavy handed to insist on discussing it now? Any and all sorts of advice are welcome: advice about the mechanics of finding someting to advice on how to improve my parental approach. Thanks, The Wet Blanket


    No, you don't sound unreasonable at all (to me.) I've said the same words! I'll be looking forward to reading the responses!
    To the parent signed Wet Blanket regarding her daughter doing something other than hanging out this summer. I totally agree with your position. It is very reasonable that your daughter not "waste" the whole summer just hanging out. simply being out of school and not having homework is a great break. She doesn't have to spend every waking minute in unstructured time. Plus, if she's college-bound, how she spends her free time is a factor that colleges look at. I want my daughter to do any of the three things you suggested, class, volunteering or paid work, during the time she's in town this summer. She will be a CIT for a few weeks and a camper for a couple more. Good luck and hold your ground even if your daughter grumbles.
    You are certainly not alone in your predicament. It seems that the societal message to teens today is they aren't children and that they should be allowed to decide what is good for them rather than to capitulate to their parent's preferences and I think that a great many teens are taking this message to heart. It is, perhaps, fruitless to debate wether or not this is a good thing; it is enough to realize that this is reality. As parents we have no tangible means to force our children to do as we wish and this is even more so regarding certain willful independent minded teenagers.

    Modern circumstances have altered the role of parenthood from the old fashioned authoritarian guardianship to something that might be characterized as a facilitator guardianship. As such, your main leverage as a parent is the degree to which you facilitate their interests and desires. The regulatory function is no longer a matter of "do it or else", but, you can still impose your will on reluctant children by less direct yet effective means. In short, you provide encouragement, compliments and support for those behaviors that you approve of and speak out against, complain, and withhold support from those behaviors that you don't approve of. What are the alternatives? You can try bluffing them with empty threats but unless your child is somewhat dull they see right through it and call your bluff. You can get tough but so can they and when push comes to shove they will most likely be judged innocent and you guilty.

    Don't let this discourage you. You have the advantage. Teenagers think that they know everything and you are so much wiser and experienced than they are. You merely have to trick them into doing the right thing and let them think that it was their idea. You must converse with them and ask them a lot of questions. When you get an answer that is acceptable to your purpose you seize upon that and promote it and provide the support to move that particular idea from thought to deed.

    In your particular case, Ms. Wet Blanket, my first impression is that whatever "constructive" activities your daughter is going to end up doing are going to have to include one or more of her friends. Perhaps you can get her and a couple of her friends to apply for summer jobs at the same place or to volunteer for the same thing. She wants to be with her friends and you can facilitate this and lend your support to this providing they are doing something of value together.

    Finally, although she doesn't know it, she is still just a kid and considering what modern life holds for her in the future, her teen years are her probably the greatest opportunity for the pure enjoyment of living that she will have in her lifetime. It is your responsibility and privilege to see to it that you steer her to those things that will provide her with memorable times that will help sustain her as she takes on the awesome task of facing the coming years. Help her to find something constructive to do that she will cherish the memory of having done and you will both be getting exactly what you want. Frank


    I have a 15-year-old like this. Last summer his best friend's mom suggested they take a class together and we also planned out a couple weeks of camp. Then we could both say, "Your best friend is going to be taking sailing lessons in August. Why don't I sign you up too?" This had good results.

    Once they get to be about 16, many if not most of their friends are going to be working or taking classes or doing other things in the summer, so "just hanging out" may well mean hanging out by herself for a good part of the time. Now's a good time to make a few phone calls to your daughter's friends' parents and find out what their plans are. You will have more leverage if you can point out to your daughter that most of her friends will not actually be available for hanging out this summer. Also you both may get some ideas for activities that your daughter might like, especially if her friends will be there too. This time last year, my older son discovered that many of his friends were planning to be counselors at Strawberry. He got in his application in time (er, actually I finished it myself and mailed it for him) and he had a great time, met new friends, made some money, and is applying again this summer. Ginger


    I guess I am also a wet blanket type of parent, because I also insisted that my daughter and I develop a plan for her summers.

    But my battles began before summer, since I insisted that she have a plan for after school time. I just repeated over and over, hanging out with your friends on Telegraph Ave after school every day is not acceptable. Eventually, we developed ideas. I bought her a membership in the YMCA, so that one or two afternoons a week she went there. She found that she had friends who also worked out. And although at first she was going to swim, it turned out she discovered other fun things, like weight lifting and other exercise machines. And I did eventually give her permission to go to a friend's house after school one day a week. Anyway, developing a plan took a long time, and over time, changes happened.

    These days it is relatively easy for teens to get jobs, I think. At least there are lots of openings listed in store windows. It might help if you brain storm with your daughter about how to get a job. First general type of environment she might like working in. Second, the information she needs to have all together in order to fill out an application. Third how to ask for an appointment. Fourth practicing asking questions with her. But again, teaching teens about getting jobs takes time.

    Other things your teen might do, is take a class. Mine took driver's ed. And I forced her to volunteer one day a week, the summer before she started working. It turned out she liked the volunteering sort of. It was a long bus ride. And when she started working after her junior year, what she really liked, probably more than the money, was the young people she met.

    Another helpful idea would be to ask her what her friends are doing this summer. If they are going to be busy, working, or whatever, then she might realize that she can't just hang with them. Because I work in a bookstore, I had the luxury of insisting that if she didn't develop a plan, then the plan would be to come to the bookstore.

    I wish you lots of luck and your idea, that your daughter has to do something is not extreme. When my teen got combative, I always said. "Well you have a very conservative, old-fashioned parent. Sorry." And I would also say that "Having a plan for what you are going to do is not negotiable. What is negotiable is what the plan will consist of."

    My daughter was given a smallish allowance. Therefore she noticed that in order to afford her life style, going to the movies, buying CD's, having lunch with friends, she needed to earn money.

    Hope this helps. Cheers. Kirsten


    Dear Wet Blanket -

    I feel extremely strongly about doing something. Despite his protests to the contrary, I think my son would just sit around and ultimately get depressed if he had no structure in his life for any length of time. In the past he has always gone to camp, but as he gets older it becomes harder and harder to find appropriate activities. This year we simply selected from the rather slim camp pickings. Realistically, he's not quite old enough to get a job yet.

    I don't have any vast wisdom on the parenting aspect of the power struggle involved. My son splits his time between two households and he tells me that his father doesn't mind if he does nothing. I have resorted to telling him that if he wishes to do nothing he will have to go live with his father as I am absolutely unwilling to agree to it. So far it's worked. Yes, I do believe that I would follow through with the threat.

    - Even Wetter Blanket


    From: Dianne (4/98)

    I believe the Berkeley-Albany YMCA has some pretty interesting teen summer programs. Also, try the Berkeley YMCA. Cal has sports and adventure camps (ck with Intercollegiate Athletics depart). Finally, for referrals ck with BANNANAS (658-7101)-or better yet-go there to look over all their summer program flyers.


    Summer camps for 12-13 year olds: I have had the same problem with my daughter who is now 14. Albany Y has the most interesting teen camps which are open only to teenagers. Some are only half day but others are longer. This allowed her a little bit of time on her own but still provided structure. If you find a friend to go with them it helps. Cal Adventure camps ( through the University) also offer interesting teen camps, again they are often half day and a little pricey. Last summer I was able to get her a job at her younger sister's preschool which was wonderful, but I know this would have been impossible if I had not know this school for so many years. There are CIT (counselor in training programs) but many don't take kids untill they are 14 or older, same is true for most summer jobs. I believe Albany Y offers the youngest CIT program for 13 year olds, but you need to apply early. The other idea I had before finding her the preschool job, was to have her volunteer at places like the senior centers. I know kids who have done this but never followed up on it myself. I would imagine many of the preschools would be interested in part-time volunteers. Good luck, it is not any easy task and usually incorporates a lot of pieces. The volunteer or CIT work will definetelty help them get jobs in the summers to come. -Lynn (Feb 2000)
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