Just a little bit of a suggestion... Spirited can mean a lot of things. If you have a particularly high maintenance kid, you may want to seriously look at public school, where there may not be as high standards of behavior as a private school.

Private School for high energy boy

Last spring The Academy, a private school in Berkeley, informed us that they could not offer my son a place in their second-grade class. They also denied admission to our younger son, who started kindergarten this year. Our older son went to the Academy for kindergarten and first grade, and, while excelling in all academic areas, consistently had trouble meeting the school's standards of behaviour. As parents, we never thought of those standards as unrealistic and always tried our best to help him meet them. We continue to give his behavior lots of attention, and both boys are succeeding fairly well with impulse control, following instructions, etc., at their new school--though much room for improvement remains. Unfortunately, the school lacks the resources to really challenge them academically or enrich their education beyond the basics. Besides being "active," they are both _exceptionally_ intelligent and eager to learn. My question is: should I apply to private schools for next year? Can anyone recommend a school that does well with this type of kid? We live in South Berkeley and would prefer somewhere nearby if possible. Karen

Other advice:

I think that high energy boys might do better in an environment where their behavior doesn't stick out and make them "the troublemaker". There was a thread a year or so about private school and ADD, which sounds as though it may not be the case for your boys, but is still relevant. (See Middle Schools for ADD and LD Kids for that review)

FWIW, I think a good public school is likely to have less rigid views of behavior than many private schools.