Supporting gifted 1st grader in OUSD?

My first grader is bored to tears, as his teacher spends several hours each day covering material he mastered at age 3. Until now he has been an enthusiastic, engaged student, but now he resists going to school, saying that he hates it and that it's way too easy. He is socially normal for his age, and is very advanced at reading (maybe 3 or 4 years?), and a little advanced (maybe 1 year) in other subjects. His teacher says that he needs to learn to be a part of the group and participate, and that ''other gifted kids make it challenging for themselves.'' She seems to differentiate only the tiniest bit, and the only idea she has offered is letting him read. I know there are kids in other classes who are at his level, but none in his class.

We are having an SST meeting this week, but I wonder if anyone with kids in a similar situation has any advice on how to help make school stimulating and challenging. I am willing to bring resources in for him to work on, so any specific curricula would be great. I'd love for him to find writing projects he's excited about, books that can teach creative problem solving, collaboration ideas for working with other kids his level. Also, strategies on getting the school to help would be great. Thank you. Anon

First, I would suggest you get your hands on as much literature as you can re gifted kids, what they need, and how to advocate for them. I learned that kids like ours are very much at risk when kept with age peers in classes not designed for them. It is so important to get them what they need early on. Some books I like: Academic Advocacy for Gifted Children, 5 Levels of Gifted, Genius Denied.

Get in touch with your local rep thru the CA Association for the Gifted. Join some listservs. You can find a lot of good info athoagiesgifted.org. Also, many good books are published here: http://www.greatpotentialpress.com/

You might want to consider having your son tested, both to give you a clearer sense of where he is and what his needs are, as well as so that you can use his test scores to help advocate for him.

The state of CA no longer has any gifted funding for public schools. Some individual districts do offer programs, but OUSD is not one of them. Teachers are overwhelmed with: classes that are too large, a lack of basic supplies for their classrooms, students with various learning disabilities, and/or students whose home lives are in complete disarray. I speak from experience; I am a former OUSD teacher. When I taught (at the so-called ''best middle school'' in the district), there was nary a mention of gifted students. Furthermore, in all of my teacher training (and I had full credentials), I got no instruction on how to recognize or respond to gifted students. All the emphasis was on saving those at the bottom (which is also important). Unfortunately, rather than helping all students where they are, there is a desperate scramble, with meager funds, to at least meet minimum standards. Nobody is worried about kids who are several years ahead. In fact, when you seek help for your child, you may very well be looked at as some sort of elitist. It sounds like you are getting just that sort of response from the teacher, who wants your son to just ''learn to be part of the group.'' In other words, he is expected to hide who he is, accept boredom, and pretend to be like everyone else. There are pretty negative consequences for that expectation long-term (and even short-term, as you are seeing).

I found the one private school in the East Bay (Archway) that was willing to evaluate and admit my child a full year early to kindergarten, as well as offer us some tuition assistance. He is in a small class there, where the teacher and staff have time to see him, as well as the other students, as individuals, who are all in different stages of development in different areas. He's in a mixed K/1 class, and able to be cognitively with the first graders (at age 4), while getting to work on his fine motor skills with the kindergartners. Thus far, knock on wood, he is excited to go to school every day.

You might also consider a Montessori school. Montessori has mixed age classrooms, and students all work at their own pace / own level.

You might find a charter school able to work with a gifted student better than the average public school. I was impressed with Lighthouse Community Charter School when I visited a couple of years ago. In general, though, I would not hold out much hope for an advanced child at OUSD. I'd seek out a better fit for him sooner rather than later, before he tunes out completely. Another Gifted Mama in Oakland

School for ''gifted'' learners?

We are toying with the idea of moving to Berkeley (or thereabouts) from NYC. Major consideration is finding a good (public) middle school for my son, who has been bored in his elementary school and needs a school with an accelerated curriculum for gifted students. Is there such a place in the area? What about high schools? Thanks for any help you can offer. Tracy

The schools which claim to be for the gifted are a)The Dunham Academy in Marin which has a couple of good teachers for the youngest kids, but it has had a huge turnover of teachers, director, and students within the last 3 months. Actually the turnover there has been pretty steady over the last few years. b)Baywood Learning Center was open for a few years, closed for 2 or 3 years, and now appears to be trying to resurrect itself; it is also to be very carefully researched. c) The Nueva School is over an hours drive away and does not meet our needs for our profoundly gifted child nearly as well as it does for closer-to-the-norm gifted kids.

If it were me, I'd get a very clear picture of just what kind of gifted my kid is: Where on the gifted spectrum do they fall? Does their giftedness include asynchronous development, and if so, in what way? Are they twice gifted (with learning disabilities too)? Boy or girl (easier to find communities of gifted boys due to the tendency of gifted girls to ''dumb-down'' and hide their giftedness, etc. The best way to do this by far is to have your child tested at the Gifted Development Center in Denver. You may want to think carefully about moving to the Berkeley area with a gifted child. Struggling to educate a gifted kid here

Current state of GATE availability?

I'm confused about the current state of GATE testing and family notification, funding and classroom application in the public schools around here. Anyone with a child currently qualified as Gifted and Talented who can shed some light on this? Or better yet, any school district folk who can provide more info than I have been able to find on your websites? We're not sure where we'll find a rental and are looking in Berkeley, Albany and parts of El Cerrito/Kensington so information on any of these districts is welcome and much appreciated! Also, if anyone has had a great experience with a highly gifted child in any local public schools I would love to hear from you! -Perplexed Parent

Elementary Schools for ''gifted'' children

Our daughter may be very gifted and several people have told us to look into putting her in a special school. I have no idea where to start. Should I get her evaluated by an Educational Specialist? Who would that be? Which public schools have programs geared toward ''gifted'' children? Which private schools do this well? We are told she needs to be with other ''gifted'' children. We are flexible in terms of where to live but we would need aid for a private school. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you! needing guidance

I was hesitant for years to test our son, thinking that this might change something somehow. I'm so glad we did it, because now we have something to help us figure out what he needs, and people to ask questions of. We are just now looking into the Dunham Academy in San Rafael. There is also a co- op school forming in Alameda, if you want to contact me for info. (I'm learning about it too.) So, I don't have a lot of school names for you, but I think clarifying what the needs are would be the first step. With this, your direction becomes clearer. Feel free to email me if you wish. J.

1. As a parent: Our daughter was/is extremely ''gifted'' in her language abilities. To our total surprise, she began reading at 3, could read chapter books by 4 and had already read most of the Little House on the Prarie and Oz series, as well as Harry Potter BEFORE she had even started kindergarten. Truly. We decided to send her to our neighborhood Oakland public school. And believe me: kids have PLENTY to learn in kindergarten (and 1st and 2nd grade) besides just how to read. Because she had learned to read whole words, just on her own, the initial phonic instruction there REALLY helped her learn to spell and her writing skills emerged in a way I'm not sure they would have otherwise. Plus, she just needed to time to do things like play on the bars and negotiate the playground scene, which was something she was just less naturally skilled at. I was glad she had a chance to focus some of her energies on just being a whole person, rather than creating some idea that she was supposed to be studying nuclear physics at age 6. And don't misunderstand me-- she advanced academically in leaps and bounds every year, never scoring less that 99% in every standardized test since then (she's now in high school). Going to a ''regular'' school never held her back in any way at all-- she still read zillions of ''advanced'' books (who could stop her?), created entire languages with friends, sent her work off to be published in various children's publications...

I'm not suggesting that you don't recognize your child's talent, but I want to encourage you to cultivate her whole self first and foremost.

I have taught upper-middle class high school kids for 25 years, many of whom have been extremely talented (perfect scores on the SAT,etc...) and many of whom have gone on to attend the most prestigious universities in the country (every Ivy, Stanford, MIT, Northwestern, Duke, Cal- Tech,West Point, Berkeley, UCLA, whatever,you name it).

I have never, ever met a child who was well served by a parent who spent oodles of time catering to their child's ''giftedness.'' I'm not saying that we shouldn't provide our children opportunities to grow and develop their passions and skills-- both during school and outside of school time. Of course. But believe me... many, many kids somehow receive the message(from ther parents, I believe) that being born with certain language or mathematical skills somehow make them better (? more interesting? morally superior?) human beings. Some kids grow up thinking they have absolutely nothing to learn from anyone else-- not other kids, not adults... which is such an unlikable and unhelpful quality. (Reminds me of the line in the recent movie ''Social Network'' when a woman breaks up with the Mark Zukerberg character and says something like, ''you are going to leave thinking that girls break up with you because they are jealous of your math skills and your intelligence, when the truth is they will break up with you because you are a real a--hole.'' When I hear little kids say ''I'm bored'' with school, I really, really believe that a parent has somehow overtly or subtly sent them the message that they don't have much to learn from other children or other adults.

And even though I've had some of the brightest minds in the state, and yes, in the country, go through the doors of my classroom-- many of whom who are WAY smarter than I am, no doubt about it-- I have yet to meet a 15 OR 16 year old that still didn't have a lot to learn. And that's what you try to do as a parent(and as a teacher): give them opportunities for challenge and growth... not just academically, but personally. They need both of these to thrive in life.

And just as another aside: there actually were a number of other kids who came to my daughter's kindergarten class as readers... so although your child may indeed be ''gifted,'' there are actually others who share such abilities. This is not to minimize or lessen her abilities, but just to reassure you that she actually isn't all by herself on this one... and to stress that it isn't worth putting her in a different universe because of it. I'd encourage you as a parent and as a teacher to give your child any opportunity to grow as a person, just like any parent should: books, games, social experiences, cultural experiences, travel... these opportunities will also help her intellectual and academic skills grow as well. Don't try to create some artificial world based on her language or math abilities at age 3. That's not a long term strategy for a child who needs to grow up as a well balanced adult some day. -teacher of ''gifted'' children

What's worked in our family was combining public school with a quality after school program and enrichment programs (ATDP, 826 Valencia St., Science and Sports at LHS, foreign language classes, drama classes,) along with an enriching family life -- reading, playing math and language games, visiting museums, going to theater (fun for the parents as well!). There are an awful lot of gifted children in Berkeley, and your child will have peers. anon

School for Gifted 6 Year Old

We need recommendations on what to do about school for our very gifted 6 year old boy who is presently enrolled in a private school. We chose his present school because it has small classes (11 - 12 students)and we thought the school could do differentiated teaching in a meaningful way. Now, we are having doubts as to whether the school is the ''right fit''. Our son is clearly years ahead academically compared to all of the other classmates but deficient on the social and emotional development. Any suggestions? We will consider any public or private schools so long as it's a good fit. We've pulled Thousand Oaks in the BUSD lottery. We are exploring The Dunham Academy, Baywood Learning Center, The Berkeley School, The Academy, The Nueva School. Would love input from parents of gifted kids who have gone down this frustrating road before us. We may stay at the present school but not sure if it's what's best for our son. Home school is not an option. anonymous

Challenging Progressive School?

We have a 4 year old who is reading at 1st grade level, doing simple math and simply loving learning! He soaks up everything that he is exposed to. We are wondering where the best schools are for a child who's ahead of other kids their age? We're not just concerned with academics, but also where our child will be socially and emotionally well looked after. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated! Looking for a good school

And...we sent her to our local neighborhood public school! (Chabot, in Oakland)I want to reassure you that she still progressed dramatically as a reader every year in school. I felt that the learning-to-read instruction the class received only helped her writing and spelling emerge-(she had somehow learned to read whole words, not phoentically.) and she never lost her enthusiasm for learning; no one ever held her back... When asked how her schoolday was, she'd say things like, ''We're learning to read today!!!'' She absolutely loved the whole scene-- sitting in circle, the hands -on projects, etc... Truthfully, the social part of school was always harder for her, so we wanted to do whatever we could to help keep her connected to other kids.

I say all this to encourage you not to do too much to separate or isolate your child further. Ok- he reads. You'll find, as we did, that other kids come to kindergarten as readers, too... and you'll also find that reading is just one piece of your child; a whole, balanced child is social, physical, etc...I am also a high school teacher in a school full of super skilled, ''gifted'' students, and I can't tell you how many children I come across who honestly believe that they don't have anything to learn from anyone else...which is such an unlikable quality-- and one that doesn't actually benefit the child in any way. I'm convinced that a lot of this attitude comes from parents who early on reinforce ideas that something like reading early should make them separate and superior to other kids. 5 year olds are not bored... they LOVE to learn and attitudes that develop this way are passed on by parents who think that something like reading early requires separating their brilliant child from the learning experiences of other kids...

Our daughter is now in the 9th grade and is still an avid/obsessive/''gifted'' reader who breathes books and writing every day.

I know this wasn't the advice you were seeking at all. I just want to suggest that while of course you find the best educational match for your child, you keep the ''big picture'' in mind... and reassure you that early readers don't need a separate, different education, just one that helps the child develop into a balanced person. It's an exciting journey! -parent and teacher

At first, I was unconvinced that Tehiyah's developmental approach would suit him, but I am glad to say that it turned out to be a good fit. For one thing, so much of the subject matter expands to fit a child's interest. For another, every single teacher that he has had there has been very generous in providing my son with extra challenges. This year he is getting one-to-one math instruction at the 5th grade level. The Hebrew language instruction opens up another path for challenging gifted kids -- it is new and can be satisfyingly complex. Above all, though, is the quality of his peer group. At Tehiyah, my son has surrounded himself with other bright, creative, well-mannered children who manage to feed each other's curiosity. The quality of the community is exceptional.

Tehiyah has done a great job in attending to both of my older children's social and emotional development. They stress many values that we practice at home, and help the kids to develop a strong sense of respect for each other. I will be sending my third child there in the fall.

Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have. Elisabeth

When one of my children entered kindergarten she was quite advanced in reading and had a great aprtitude for math. She still got a lot out of kindergarten. We worked with the teacher to keep her challenged, and worked with her to learn to challenge herself. By the end of kindergarten and certainly in 1st grade several of the other kids caught up to her in reading and math and then she had a great cohort to learn with. She is now well beyond elementary school and still loves to learn.

Kids who are advanced academically can have more energy left over to deal with other issues. And some of these kids need extra time to learn to deal with their social challenges. It is good, IMO, that you are looking out for the social well-being as well as the academic.

So since no school is best, do what you can to research and get a feel for your local public schools, as well as private schools that are within your driving and financial range. Dont' take second hand rumors as truth, and remeber that your experience may end up being VERY different from another family in the same school with the same teacher.

When you do land in a school, please do your best to find time to volunteer in the classroom to help the teacher meet all the students' needs; as this will help the teacher have more time to help your child, give you an understanding of the range of skills within the classroom, and put you in a situation to more readily get feedback form your child's teacher. It will also remind you of what a challenging job teaching is and hopefully maintain your appreciation for teachers. Anon School Volunteer

Challenging Progressive School?

Hi there o font of Bay Area wisdom,

I'm a believer in a progressive education, the antithesis of drill-and-kill. That said, I've got a 4-year-old who is currently reading 3rd grade chapter books, writing extended and coherent text messages, and doing simple arithmetic. Kindergarten -- which is still a year away -- and for that matter 1st and 2nd grade, are already quite far behind her academically. Where can I send her a year from now where she'll enthusiastically grow academicaly while continuing to do so without pressure or load? Of course I know that things besides academics are important, but I'm having much less difficulty finding places that are strong re: social/emotional development than I am with this other conundrum -- finding a place that will academcally challenge her without being pushy.

We live in the East Bay and are considering both private (which we can't actually afford, but earn too much for scholarship) and public. Many thanks for your thoughts! East Bay parent

When I toured the Berkeley Public schools, the heads of school emphasized that their first priority was to make sure each child was reading at grade level. This is a worthy public policy goal, but promised very little for my son. There were some private schools that I looked at that also seemed daunted by the challenge of educating my son.

We are now at Tehiyah Day School. My son is in 3rd grade, and my daughter in 1st. We are extremely happy there. This year my son's math teacher has created an individualized program for him, and his Hebrew teacher has moved him to a class designed for native speakers (which we are not). His general studies teacher is also very accommodating, as have been all the teachers we have had up to now. We are a Jewish family, and are very active in the Jewish community, so it is a huge benefit to us that Tehiyah had been able to meet our needs academically.

I will note that in Kindergarten, our son's teacher made many efforts to give him advanced projects, but he often spurned them because he wanted to do what the rest of the class was doing. I think that forming a peer identity is a big part of Kindergarten.

As the children grow, they begin to value having a true learning partner -- other children who can understand them and work at their level. We have been pleased to discover several good partners for our son at Tehiyah -- kids who can keep up with him, inspire him, and challenge him in many ways. This is key to making learning a social experience.

I would be happy to discuss our experience at Tehiyah further, if you have any questions. elisabeth

Also, I co-facilitate a time limited and open group for parents of gifted children. We use the Supporting the Emotional Needs of Gifted (SENG) Model. There are groups in Oakland and Walnut Creek. visit http://www.giftedhelp.com for info on the Oakland group and http://www.summitcenter.us for info on the Walnut Creek group. Best of luck! Kathleen

So she will continue to read at home with you, and will get to do art and music and creative work and social development at school just like now. And she will work on following directions and working in a group and figuring out how to deal with the fact that she's sometimes faster than her classmates at coming up with the answer.

Unless you homeschool her she is always going to have to figure out how to navigate school activities she may already have mastered. Make sure there is individualized assessment and differentiated reading levels, and then just let her go to kinder and enjoy it and try not to make it the be-all and end-all. If it doesn't work out, you will find something else. Been there as student and parent

Although it is a little late, children can enroll in the school any time during the school year and there is no birthday restrictions so if your child at 4 is ready, she could try this for a year and if it does not work out she will still be the correct age for kindergarten at another school next year.

Take a look at the German International School of Silicon Valley Berkeley Campus (GISSV). There is an open house on November 10, 2009 at 6:30 pm. Ralf who is the head of school would be more than happy to discuss with you how a program will be set up to keep you daughter intelectually stimulated while in kindergarten. The school is affordable as tuition is partially subsidized. Even though we do not speak German, our daughter in kindergarten was fluent in German after 6 months. The style of education is somewhat play based which will hopefully instill in her a life long quest for learning. Old Sage (i.e. wise guy)

I encourage you to explore the Montessori method which allows children to delve deeply into the learning process at their own pace. Exceptional children are able to go as far as they need to go. We have seen examples of mathematically gifted children at this school eating up high school level algebra and trigonometry in the fourth and fifth grade! Actually the preschoolers and kindergarteners are doing pre-algebra (e.g. ''Fill in the blank...5 + ___ = 7''). Children become critical thinkers, write well in many styles and write expressively from the heart. Children receive an individualized curriculum and over the course of time, they develop amazing self- awareness and time management skills that will serve them well for life in the 21st century.

This is an extraordinary education and we are grateful to have discovered Montessori and the Montessori Family School. Montessori Family School is fabulous and we like the community a lot. All children have their strengths and challenges, and what we like about this particular school is that the academics are strong and the social/emotional education and experience is also as good as it gets.

At Montessori Family School there is little teacher turnover because the environment is vital, happy, supportive and challenging. We have taken note that many of the alumnae of this school are happy, focused, self-aware, socially responsible and successful individuals making a difference in the world. We are personally engaged in a program to reach out to alumnae now in college to document outcomes from the school.

Visit the website at www.montessorifamily.com Please feel free to contact me with questions. -Sharon

All four of the schools really work hard on the social emotional side. NOCCS is probably stronger in math than the other schools. All the schools try to differentiate the instruction for the stronger students, to varying success. Visit the schools see what would be a good fit. Count your blessings on having a kid who is inclined in the academic area. anon

RDS has turned out to be an excellent experience for our daughter, and she has been challenged on many levels, including academics. In math, 6th grade was a fair amount of review, but her 7th and 8th grade math teacher has differentiated the instruction to create an accelerated pace for our daughter and a couple of other advanced students, and she has definitely been challenged. In science and Spanish, our daughter feels that the classes are much more rigorous than the curriculum that her friends have at both public schools and the exclusive private schools in the area. And in English and History, she has been very engaged and stimulated by the creative assignments those teachers have provided.

Beyond academics, our daughter has taken up a new sport, played in a string quartet and the lunchtime rock band, and has had a leading role in several school plays. Her class is a tight knit group of kids that all get along and is not at all clique-ish. It may seem like a cliche, but RDS does educate the whole student in both academic and non-academic areas, and they think a lot about how they educate. RDS has an excellent, progressive thinking head of school who provides great leadership. The yearly parents university is a stimulating experience for the parents.

We are now in the process of touring a number of high schools, ranging from Oakland Tech to College Prep, and as our daughter shadow tours their 9th and 10th grade classes, she reports back that she feels totally prepared for the work ahead, and expects to place in any and all of their advanced classes. I guess the best proof of our satisfaction with RDS is that our younger daughter just started 6th grade there, and she is flourishing too. - very satisfied RDS parents

Schools with separate GATE classes?

Are there any towns in the area that have separate GATE classes? -Anon

Don't know how ''gifted students are kept down'' in public school. My approach has always been that ''gifted'' kids (they all seem like average good students to me--nothing more, nothing less) certainly must have some motivation to pursue academics on their own--aren't they supposed to be a little more self-directed? I recall that 30 years ago, before parents told their kids they were classified as ''gifted'' those who were motivated simply asked to work on extra projects in addition to the regular work. Didn't need a budget for that.

I would also like to point out that giftedness can show up in a lot of different ways (NOT just academically), and many gifted kids are underachieving, as opposed to an earlier post where one person thought that gifted kids might be more self- directed. It's often quite the contrary...

Finally, a good school differetiates the curriculum so that the student that is falling behind gets his or her needs met, just as much as the child who is gifted in some way. We're in an Oakland public school that meets and exceeds the needs of my gifted children while they learn in a classroom with kids of all different intellectual and emotional levels. We couldn't be happier, and would like to add that we left a prominent private school to get the kind of challenging education our children needed and craved. an advocate for gifted education

7-year-old: Bright, bored and having some problems

My seven year old grandson has all the characteristics of a gifted child with learning differences. He is primarily a visual-spatial learner. He presently attends Washington school in Point Richmond which has been a fairly good environment for him but his teacher tells me he is like a ''square peg in a round hole.'' I would like to find a school for him anywhere from Richmond to Berkeley with curricula that accomodates different learning styles. I would appreciate any comments, thoughts or suggestions. D

When my son, now in middle school was in elementary school, we began pushing for the legally mandated GATE Council at the school. This council makes sure that teachers differentiate instruction every day in every subject.

Of course we worried that teachers would hold it against the kids - us pushing and pushing to get a reasonably adequate education. Our daughter has benefited from our work on behalf of our son. What we found out is that for my son it was rough for about a year - but not any more rough than being bored stiff.

Here is what we found out from a specialist - your grandson must be challenged. Until you can do this at school, you must get him involved in competitive chess, ongoing foreign language classes or musical instrument lessons where he learns to read and compose music. This is because the drop out and lrisky behaviorn rate in middle and high school depends exclusively on excellence without effort in elementary school.

You're lucky he attends Washington as this is the school where Berkeley's Academic Talent Development Program has its three week summer program. At ATDP your grandson will meet lots and lots of square pegs - my kids included. A Houseful of Square Pegs

Most schools are just not set up to teach gifted kids and only respond to the needs of academically motivated children, not the same as giftedness. Gifted children learn differently, they do not need as much repetition, they ask a lot of questions, want more in depth instruction and as you said sometimes have learning differences such as visual-spatial. Being gifted can be very threatening to most teachers/schools. Also, gifted kids are the most at-risk.

For your grandson to reach his potential, be himself with true peers and have the best chance of happiness and fulfillment in life, he needs to be understood, supported and challenged. He needs to be in a school for gifted children.

For my two gifted sons, I looked at the four gifted schools in the Bay Area: Nueva, Odyssey, Baywood and Dunham Academy; as well as other schools not for the gifted: Hillbrook, Bentley, Head-Royce, The Academy, Black Pine Circle School and Athenian.

Bar none, Dunham Academy was the best fit for my two sons. The Dunhams are not trying to create some exclusive, status symbol of a school. Their passion, their lives are to meet the needs of gifted children and they do that exceptionally well. http://www.giftedschool.org/ Sheila

Public school for gifted 2nd grader

Hi - I have a gifted 2nd grader at a good Oakland public school who is 2 grades above level in math and reading. We are going to be moving out of our too-small home and am hoping to kill 2 birds with one stone by finding a better home as well as a better educational fit for my child. I've toured many private schools in Oakland and found them to be lovely but unaffordable (I have two children), and also the academic gap was still an open question at these institutions. I know that some public schools have gifted programs of some measure, where children receive some extra challenging work or small group projects - at my child's school, if a child tests as gifted then the school receives $50 or so extra from the state, but that's all. It hasn't been much of an issue yet, but as my child gets older I can see that it might very well be. I'm not an idealist - I understand the staffing ratios at public school and I'm not looking for a custom-made, individually tailored curriculum either. I'm just wondering if there are others in a similar situation who have found some kind of solution and if you would be willing to recommend your child's school. I am open to suggestions all the way from Lafayette to Marin and in between. Thanks, and VERY grateful!

Teachers and principals say that they serve gifted children by offering differentiated instruction, but in my (extensive) experience, it's limited. Differentiation for one of my sons consisted of being told to leave the classroom during reading lessons, and go to the library to work, unsupervised, on a report. Another teacher allowed us to substitute our own list of spelling words for the official list. More relevant and more exasperating is the obstruction throughout the school system of children's efforts to advance to higher level classes. The Middle School principal has reversed a long-standing policy of allowing children with previous exposure to a foreign language to begin their study at a more advanced level, and now offers those children the choice between waiting to begin taking a language until the other students have caught up, or beginning in the most elementary class. After a parent revolt in the High School, select students were allowed to take two science courses simultaneously so as to be able to take all the available courses before graduating, but current students are again complaining that science and math courses are rationed. Middle school kids are allowed to advance one year in math, but the advancement criterion is so strict that only a tiny number are eligible.

In short, there's an outright disregard of acceleration, and a surprising number of Piedmont residents wind up sending their gifted children to private schools. (I've just learned that yet another of my friends has moved to Piedmont to put her learning disabled child in the public school, while sending her academically gifted child to a private school.) I'm avidly awaiting the answers you'll get, in the hopes of finding a better option for my children. In the meanwhile, I'd suggest that you not give up too easily on private schools. One of my children got a scholarship that completely transformed her life, and I only wish I hadn't been so pessimistic and had let her apply years earlier. Not so gifted when it comes to gifted kids!

For 4th-5th grade, research schools that have GATE programs and then talk to the principal or other GATE parents to assess the program's quality. By middle and high school, more students will emerge as bright, and pretty much all these students will be grouped together in advanced classes. -- a mom

Wait a year for kindergarten for gifted child?

Has anyone held back a gifted child from starting kindergarten?

My son just turned 4 and we were going to start him in kindergarten next fall, right after he turns 5. He has been reading for more than a year, can write words properly using upper and lower case, can do simple math (on the order of 8-3 or 9+4), etc. His social skills aren't great -- he can't always figure out how to join groups and acts inappropriately sometimes. We haven't worked with him at all on academic skills, he's just picked them up. We do work with him on social skills.

Lately he has been saying he doesn't want to go to kindergarten which has gotten us to thinking that maybe we should find a bridge K program for him, mostly to give his social skills a chance to catch up. Will we be condemning him to a lifetime of boredom in school if we do this? Anyone else done the same? Or did you place your similar child in kindergarten and have a success (or failure) story to share?

I know we have a year to decide, but I also know we need to start looking at bridge K programs soon if we're going to go that route. Worried mom

You could put him in a bridge K now and move him into 1st grade next year (sounds like he won't have any problems with the academics). Just don't hold him back for social skills -- it's often been shown that underchallenged children appear immature; once they're appropriately challenged, the immaturity issues disappear. So holding him back because of ''social immaturity'' can actually make things worse. good luck!

I have no idea if this applies to you - but once I realized that my decision was being clouded by the fact that I just didn't want her to grow up so soon - I thought that it would be fine. And cried a little. anon

You are not beginning to think about this too early. Unless your child is simply going to his neighborhood public school, no questions asked, you will need to gather information about schools, begin to take tours, and make decisions by November or December or January. Anonymous

I also think we think a lot about how our kids will do now in school but don't consider the 18 or almost 19 year old who will have to be a senior in high school with a lot of younger kids. I'd imagine that would be socially difficult. anon

Once you get a true sense of where your son is at, you'll be better equiped to make a decision versus discovering once he is already in kindergarten. This topic of holding boys back for kindergarten came up in a parenting support group I belong to. Everyone's experience was that there were regrets from some of those that put their sons in K early/right when they were 5, but everyone who waited that extra year had no regrets. anon

For us the answer has been to homeschool. You can look at programs like Baywood, but homeschooling has worked well for our son. This way he can work on social interaction with parents there to guide him and prevent bullying, and his mind is fed.

Read hoagies about asynchronous development (which is the definition of giftedness, to many). A play-based preschool would be a good place to learn social stuff, but not have him bored to tears by the academics. Do the academics at home. mom of profoundly gifted children

Also, the possibility of social isolation for gifted children is already high. Putting a child where he is even more advanced than his peers increases that risk, and it can be a devastating thing to deal with--the feeling that no one around you understands the way you think or act, and can lead to feelings of superiority and the general feeling, consciously or not, that everyone around you is ''stupid.''

Of course, you know what is best for you son. If he is truly not ready for a formal school environment, perhaps the best thing for him really would be to hold him back. I advise you to remember that many people have forgotten: This is Kindergarten. There is no Ph. D., strong network of connections, or lifelong friends to accompany you required. Best of luck with your son. If he is anything like mine, you will need it once he enters the public education system. Mother of a Gifted and Bored Boy

Pre-kindergarten anxiety is normal. I would advise you both to visit the school playground and the kindergarten classrooms this year to familiarize yourself with the place. Most schools give tours, and you can make appointments with the principal, and or the kindergarten teachers themselves to get more advice on how to best prepare your child. A.L

Sometimes a gifted child might seem hesitant to try something new because s/he's accustomed to always being perfect (or expected by his parents to always be perfect) and is afraid of making a mistake. Although your child is academically ready for first grade, he needs to learn to feel comfortable about new experiences, and he needs to learn how to feel comfortable when he isn't completely perfect.

You say his social skills are behind. What have you done to improve his social skills? Have you tried enrolling your child in a class with other boys his age? How many times has your child been in a play group with other boys his age? Why hasn't he spent even half a day in pre-K?

And, what have you done to help him prepare for Kindergarten? Have you arranged for a tour of his new Kindergarten? Have you arranged for him to watch a class in progress? Have you introduced him to any of his future classmates? Have you rented a movie about Kindergarten?

Maybe some family couseling could help figure out why your son's social skills are behind (if they are) and what you're doing to make your precocious son afraid of taking the risk of trying something new.

A good resource to help parents of gifted children support the social and emotional needs of their children is SENG ''Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted'' at www.SENGifted.org.

A good article explaining how to help gifted children face new situations is: http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Delisle_RisktakingAndRiskmaking .shtml Ex-gifted child

We've have always had concerns about our daughter's social skills, because even now, she is truly happiest by herself, with her books or with her writing. We don't want to change who she is, but we also understand the value of having true friends, of learning to be comfortable in a group, etc... and we have always just tried to encourage any opportunity she has had to socialize. She has always had some friends-- although in some grades, she really just had one good friend, and we did our best to be sure they had opportunities to be together. It's a constant balance to encourage who she is and help her develop all her talents, while understanding that we also want to raise a well rounded human being. Her talents are not all that define her. We try to encourage some physical activities and some artistic ones. She seems to have a very strong sense of who she is ( which has been very important for her middle school experience), and is aware of her ''otherness'' while still understanding the value of the group. So, even though it's exciting to watch a very gifted child discover her talents, as a parent you also need to keep in mind that your job is to help your child grow up healthy. Balance is the key. -parent of ''gifted'' kid

7th grader who loves math and science

Is there any school for my 7th grade son who loves math and science? I find many schools and programs that address children with learning differences, learning disabilities, ADD, ADHD, ASD, NLD, and special education. We don't need (or want) these programs. My son is atttentive, studies hard, loves academics, and wants an academically challenging environment. We live in Oakland, and haven't much money. Suggestions? Parent of a nerd

Public or Private for gifted kindergartener?

Our 4 yo old son will be starting kindergarten in about a year and we are trying to sort out what would be the best environment for him. He taught himself to read quite early and now reads fluently at about a second grade level (and understands as well); he seems generally academically precocious, but his reading skills are the most obvious. Socially and emotionally, he's quite age-appropriate. He is doing well now at a Montessori preschool which provides a mixed- age environment and allows kids to progress at their own rate, but we are not sure where to go from here. We had always hoped to send him to Berkeley public school, but are wondering whether he would be sufficiently challenged.Can anyone comment on this? Also, if we were to explore private school options, are there any which other parents out there feel do an especially good job with intellectually gifted kids? (the archives are a bit dated on these questions) Thanks. anon

Last year he did kindergarden at Malcolm X in Berkeley and it was a great experience for him - he learned a ton. Was he challenged academically all the time? Perhaps not, though his academic skills did advance significantly. He learned a ton about interacting and negotiating with children and adults of different ages, from different backgrounds and language groups, he worked on the areas he really needs to improve: listening to others, allowing others a chance to answer questions, emotional maturity, fine motor skills. He's like a sponge for knowledge and eagerly soaked up the rich offerings from the many adults who became part of his life (garden teacher, drama teacher, classroom teachers, etc). He's clearly not bored (I want to watch for this in the future though) and there's so much new to learn in terms of topics that he's challenged even though he already has the mechanics of reading and math under his belt. I feel like by being at a public school he's working on the areas that aren't already ahead, which will hopefully make him a more well rounded individual, instead of focussing on the areas where he is already ahead, which might help him excel even further in those areas but might overlook other important areas. That's why I feel public school is best - I may have to supplement with academics as time goes on to keep him challenged, but for me it's easier to supplement there at home than it would be for me to provide the rich environment school does in other areas. - Good luck!

It turned out that public school was the right place for her and I learned that children, even bright and gifted, develop their skills at different rates in different areas. My child was able to learn from children who were learning faster in math and to help children whose verbal and reading skills were developing a little more slowly.

I believe that most children's skills will all even out by about 3rd grade, and by 7th grade, there will appear many bright and gifted children in Gate and advanced public school classes. -- public kindergarten, good stuff

Gifted kindergartener, can't afford private school

Hi my son just started kindergardten and loves it. many of his preschool friends are i his class and he enjoys the after care at the cedars room with them also/

we live close bye to the school and i too have many parents who are friends of longstanding. being a single parent there support has been invaluable for pick ups and drop offs when a crisis arises.

however i dont feel my son is learning much. until now i was quite complacent simply because i have enough problems without looking for more.

however over the weekend i spent 30 minutes teaching him to read and today he went to class and started writing sentences spelling correctly 4 letter words. i was amazed as was his teacher who told me what he did. he has the vocabulary of a 9 year old and is very analytical and articulate. thing is he is also a mischevious little kid who if left to his own devices would happily play all day.

should i move him to a private school, which means we would not be able to buy a home,but have to carry on renting or leave him where he is. is it possible to get him extra tuition where he is challenged at the weekend s?? am i being negligent? everyone i know tells me how bright he is, i just dont want to short change him. he makes friends easily and i dont think he will have problems adapting apart from initially. any advice? amber

Gifted & Talented Prog (GATE) in Albany or Berkeley

I have an 8 year old son who is in the Gifted and Talented Program in Davis , CA. We're moving to Albany in June after school is out. I'm looking for a GATE Program (for the Fall) in Albany or Berkeley ? Does anyone know anything about GATE near the Albany area ? I heard there's no GATE in Albany schools. Is that true ? Is there a GATE Program in Berkeley ? Thanks for your help. Kim kimberly

School for highly gifted 7-year-old

I am desperately looking for a school for my highly gifted 7-yr old son. Right now he is utterly miserable and frustrated in ''conventional'' school. He needs a place where there are other kids like him and teachers have experience in dealing with highly gifted children. Any schools you can recommend? We are willing to look at public or private schools anywhere in the Bay Area. Thank you.

Recommendations received: