Re: Looking for very liberal Catholic church
I understand your concerns about the institutional Catholic church. I was raised Catholic but drifted for many of the reasons you cite. When I moved to San Francisco, I literally bumped into a wonderful Dominican church and I became very active in its young adults group. Not only did I return to the Catholic church, I returned as an adult who had questions and struggles and some anger too- and found that I was welcome. I still have issues with some Catholic teachings- as do many of my Catholic friends- but it is my spiritual home, and I feel nurtured and fed by the Sacraments, the community and the exceptional lay folks and clergy I have found in many different parishes over the years. I also should mention that there are many teachings of the Church that are in fact, exceptionally progressive - for instance, the social justice teachings on immigration issues. If you are interested in a welcoming community with a brilliant, thoughtful and progressive pastor and the architecture you mention, check out St Dominics in San Francisco - their website is www.stdominics.org.

When we moved to the East Bay and became parents, we discovered another Dominican Church called St Mary Magdalene in North Berkeley. (note: the Dominicans are an order of the church known for, among other things, great ''preaching'', i.e. thoughtful homililes!). Their website is www.marymagdalen.org. We have found it to be a very warm and welcoming community. We go to the 9:30 on Sunday a.m. and hang out in the back with other parents of small (semi-noisy!) kids. During the ''liturgy of the word'' (the first half of the mass) they often have a ''children's dismissal'' where you can go with your little one down to the parish hall and they have a more age-appropriate telling of the gospel, some artwork etc.

Re: Inclusive & Friendly Church
We LOVE St. Mary Magdalen in Berkeley. We tried about 5 different churches and this is the one we settled with. It's on Berryman at Henry. Good luck!