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My husband and I have a very happy, healthy 18-month-old who was born via IVF with a donor egg. We have 2 frozen embryos at UCSF, but we don't plan to have another child (I'm 45, that's part of the reason). We are interested in the possibility of finding a couple to adopt the remaining embryos. I know that there are some agencies that deal with this, but I understand that they are primarily Christian agencies that may exclude same-sex couples. Does anyone have any advice about how we could go about exploring adopting for our embryos. We feel so fortunate to have our duaghter, and it took a lot of work and resources to get her, so we want to pass on the goodness to another couple if possible. Anonymous
First, have you thought about what kind of relationship you'd like with the other family? We pursued donated embryos after donor eggs didn't work for us. We wanted at least a somewhat open relationship so any children could have access to their biosiblings (and bio parents, if possible). I was also skeeved out by the whole overly religious aspect of many sites claiming to specialize in embryo adoption.
I found Miracles Waiting (www.miracleswaiting.org) where both donors and recipients can post listings. It's also a fantastic resource for embryo donation in general. At the time it was free for donors to post listings. You can look for what's a right match for you and post as much or as little as you'd like in your posting (or you can look at people who are looking for embryos).
I found a great listing for a couple that were actually local and the embryos were at the same clinic I'd used for some of my fertility treatments! Unfortunately the cycle with the donor embryos didn't result in a positive pregnancy/babies but we're still friends with the other couple.
Also since you mention UCSF, have you checked with them? I know that Dr Vic Fujimoto was starting a donor embryo program or at least helped his patients who wanted to donate to other couples/singles. Consider giving him a call. I don't remember which nurse was working with him on that but he was very supportive of our needs as well as the couple who donated their embryos to us.
Best of luck to you and what am amazing gift you are considering! former infertile who still knows way too much about all this
Hello, My husband and I did a round of IVF with egg and sperm donors last year. We have four frozen embryos and one vial of sperm left. Each month we pay to store these items.
We are in agreement that we don't want to try IVF again and are now looking to see what can be done with the genetic materials as we would like to stop paying the storage fees.
Preferably we would like to donate the embryos and sperm to a couple who having a hard time getting pregnant. However, the place where we went does not have a donation program anymore. Our only options through them are to destroy the materials or donate them for stem cell research. These embryos cost a small fortune and a lot of effort to obtain. Plus, I kind of think of them as my children. I do not want them destroyed and would much rather see them go to a loving couple.
Does anyone know what our options are? We've been referred to Snowflakes but would prefer not to work with a far right Christian organization. Our idea donees are educated, professional atheists/agnostics (or people who label themselves as a member of a religion but are not active and do not participate in any anti-gay or anti-choice activities) and either LGBT or gay friendly.
Any suggestions that you have are greatly appreciated. Donor
My partner and I, we are one of them, and even so I am not aware of some places that will be of help to you, I gladly will help you to find one with you, where your embroys can be a loving gift to a couple in waiting. A good source is the Adoption Magazine website, as it has many links and resources, Adoption (Idiot guide book- a wonderful resource), and I would also turn to any bigger fertility clinic in the SF Bay area.
Another option is Family Formation Law Offices of Michaelson and Cohen, in Lafayette. We were matched with an egg donor there (using Willman's medical services for the rest of the process) and they were wonderful to work with. They may have a bigger file of waiting families to choose from but they don't know the families intimately like Willman would.
Good luck. Thanks for changing someone's life
Has anyone used donor embryos and had a successful pregnancy? What clinic did you use? Does anyone have experience with California ivf fertility in Davis?
Overall, we are very pleased with our experiences at California IVF. They have great doctors and first rate embryologists. Everyone who works there is very nice and attentive.
Our only criticism of them is that there is some level of disorganization in the practice. For example, we had to request our bill a couple of times and by the time they gave it to us, there were not enough business days to get the money transferred to the right accounts to pay them by their own payment due deadline. The bill also contained an error which it took them a month to figure out. There were no real consequences to us for these problems but given that infertility is stressful, not having to deal with their disorganization would have been less stressful. Also, while the doctors are very good (much better than the typical MD) at explaining what they are doing right now, they don't always provide you with information about the future steps in the protocol. For me, because I like to know what is going to happen, this also added some stress.
As I said before, overall, we have been very pleased. The donor embryo program might also be a bit different both because the cost is fixed and because the procedure has fewer steps for you (no egg retrieval, no sperm samples, and no worries about egg or embryo numbers). They give you time with the MD to ask questions at every visit and they are responsive if you call the office with questions. I would recommend thinking about your questions ahead of time so that you can make the best use of that face-to-face time with the MD.
Best of luck, optimistic donor egg recipient
What worked for me, finally, when nothing else would, is donor IVF. If you have done IVF, it seems like just the next logical step in treatment (and slightly easier since you don't have to do the first half).
It is much more expensive, since you are now paying for the donor time and expenses (which is, I believe tax deductible as medical expenses-check on that). It's such a great gift that donors are doing, I'm so glad we live in such a time.
My donor cycle, that I did with RSC, was about double that of a regular IVF. Most of that was in donor fees. I went through a private agency in SF for the donor.
A friend who did a donor cycle with Pacific?, did a ''share'' with the embryo bank, where she got half the embryos and the ''Bank'' got the other half, with split costs. The risk is that if it doesn't work, you have no ''second chance''. It did work for her, and she has a healthy baby.
In my cycle, I was able to have some embryos to cryopreserve. That gave me an opportunity for my second child. The ''frozen embryo transfer'' cycle costs were negligible (when compared with the full IVF cycle).
I know two other families that did donor cycles, and all ended up with lovely babies. If you really want to go that route and can afford it, I highly recommend it. Love my babies
We are a lesbian family from the East Bay interested in adopting embryos for one partner to carry and both partners to raise. The fertility clinics have differing views on the legal requirements but all have said the timeline is much faster if you locate your own embryos rather than get on their lists. All of the resources online are religious-based and seem not to support alternative families. Does anyone have any advice how to get this process started for a non-traditional family in search of locating frozen/cryopreserved embryos for a private donation/adoption? anonymous
To begin with I would suggest that you contact Our Family Coalition. They're a non-profit organization for LGBTQ families; they have monthly meetings for prospective families, panel discussions, potlucks... It will give you an opportunity to hear from all types of service providers in the non-traditional adoption/parenting world. You will also meet other families, some who are embarking on the same path, this is extremely helpful.
Secondly you will need to consult a lawyer. Emily Doskow is one such lawyer who spoke at a recent OFC panel in Oakland. I don't know her personally; I just know that she's co-written a NOLO book on the topic and seemed to have a lot of information, and a good reputation. Her number is 510-540-8311 Best of luck! rahel
Lastly...if you are really having a hard time locating embryos you could look into doing a shared donor egg cycle or doing a cycle in another country. It may not be that much more expensive given the legal work needed for embryo donation. anon
Has anyone in this community successfully placed their frozen embryos with an adoptive family? I've done some research online and all the agencies I was able to locate are Christian and seem to screen prospective families based on religious criteria. We're not Christian, and we're put off by the anti-stem-cell research agenda that these agencies promote. What I'm hoping to find is a secular, non-profit group that helps families decide what to do with their excess embryos once they've chosen not to pursue any more pregnancies of their own.
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