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Mediation

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Family law mediator

Feb 2008

Hello, Does anyone have experience with the following attorneys, focusing on 1. their sharp legal knowledge, as well as 2. their willingness to mediate rather than go to court? Positive or negative experiences solicited ~ thanks! Robert A. Goodman, Steven Peter Small, Eva Herzer, Emily Doskow, Christina Bemko Littlefield, Vivian L. Holley, Stuart I. MacKenzie Thanks
Need bright attorney; not necessarily for court appearance


Eva Herzer is a keenly intelligent and straightforward yet sensitive mediating attorney. She does not do traditional contentious litigation at all, but works solely in mediation. At the same time, she is well school in the ins and outs of the law and makes a great adviser, speaking from a position of strength. She also has a lot of experience in the areas of divorce and mediation. I would recommend her. Linda
I've had experience with Vivian Holley. I imagine her legal knowledge is good enough, though my attorney told me that she was incorrect about three statements made. As to her willingness to mediate rather than go to court, well, mediation is Ms. Holley's niche. My input is to try someone else first though. I was extremel.y unhappy with her manner, her methods and her results. She could also cost you a bundle bc she talks *so* slowly, laboriously, and repeats things - really! My attorney always couldn't wait to get her off the phone. Also, possibly in her efforts to appear fair, she implicitly gave some legitimacy, encouraged the continued behavior of my vexatious plaintiff. She actually recommended a *ridiculous*, patently expensive and unworkable solution that both I and the plaintiff rejected. anonynous

Mediator to help my brother and me resolve inheritance

March 2007

My brother (who I love dearly) and I are having some difficulties coming up with an agreed upon price and timeline for me to buy out his portion of my mom's house. I think our relationship would benefit from having a mediation session to hammer out the details. Any recommendations for a particular mediator or advice on the mediation process would be most appreciated. anon


Dear Anon, Mediation is likely the perfect process to work out the sales details between you and your brother. It is voluntary (since there is no litigation in your situation) and can cost anywhere from $200 - $300 per hour. Mediators sometimes give discounted rates. Basically, you and your brother will sit down together and the mediator will facilitate a conversation between the two of you, which will involve listening to each of you carefully and helping you each hear each other better, so that an agreement can be worked out. If you want a legally enforceable agreement, it is wise to use an attorney-mediator or hire separate legal counsel to review the agreement once you've written it. A friend of mine, Claudia Viera, is a great mediator (and an attorney) and I highly recommend her. She does work with families in addition to employers/employees. You can access her web site at: www.claudiaviera.com.
Good luck to you and you brother. Claudia W

Mediator to help siblings resolve care for mom

January 2007

Hi - Does anyone have information about finding a family mediator / conflict resolution counselor? There are a number of BPN postings for divorce, child custody, inheritance etc mediators. But we're not facing a legal issue - we just cannot seem to resolve how to care for our elderly mother since our father has died. She has dementia so cannot live alone, but the six adult siblings are divided about how to care for her. She is living with one of us, and another actually ''Mom-napped'' her last weekend! We have so many years of conflicts and are having a hard time just communicating with each other. It seems as if there should be someone out there trained in helping family members talk to each other. We don't want to get into long drawn-out family counseling sessions, but we just want to make a plan together and stick with it. Though I live in Berkeley, most of us live in the San Francisco / Peninsula area so if you know of anyone on that side of the Bay we'd be grateful for the recommendations. Thanks!
''we put the fun in dysfunction''!


A great mediator based in Oakland is Marvin Schwartz, phone (510) 530-1283. He is also a trainer (I was certified through his class), and is active in the mediation community, so if it has to be someone on the peninsula, I'm sure he'd be able to make a recommendation. But he's very good, so worth considering on his own. Claudia C
We recently posted a recommendation for a mediator. Our issue was couple related, but Robert has extensive family and community mediation and I am certain he would be able to help you in ways you never expected.

We are a couple who have been together for over a decade and always considered ourselves completely open with each other and had very little disagreements throughout the years. This actually made it harder to deal with big issues that came about, as our life was taking new directions. With Robert’s help, we managed to deepen our relationship in ways we didn’t think were still possible. Applying techniques of active listening and non-violent communication, Robert helped us understand the core of our individual hurt and how it is manifested in this specific case. In the mediation process we learned to be better listeners of ourselves and our own needs and then express our needs and feelings in a way that gives full legitimization to the other’s needs and feelings. Robert emphasized the need to apply the new insights to our daily practices as a couple and he offered concrete ways to do so, and by that preventing further misunderstandings. After each mediation session we felt uplifted, relieved and happy and this is why we want to recommend Robert. We think his skill is beyond description – you need to experience it yourself to understand, and we hope you would. He is a compassionate person and a truly dedicated mediator, with a mission to use his talent to heal and deepen relationships. Among his credentials are a masters degree in peace and conflict studies, a law degree, conflict resolution training and an extensive community mediation experience. Please contact him directly: rterris[at]gmail.com Cali


Mediator for shared housing agreements

Oct 2004

A friend and I are currently sharing a duplex and are looking for someone who can help us create an agreement regarding repairs, remodeling and possibly changing the division of ownership. Who can work with us on this? Anonymous


We used Frederick Hertz for our tenants-in-common legal agreement (we also have a duplex) and I recommend him. We had already discussed and written out a bunch of stuff on our own and came in with many ideas and notes, but he asked us the right questions to pull even more details out. He was very professional and clearly experienced in this type of legal agreement. He's in downtown Oakland and his office number is 510-451-4114.

We chose Frederick Hertz after speaking with 2 other people who do these agreements. Michael St. John (845-8928) says he's the founder of tenants-in-common agreements in Berkeley but is not a lawyer, and John Gutierrez (644-1904) who is an attorney and will actually come to your house to survey the property to make sure you're getting everything into the agreemment.

I'm very happy we chose Hertz. Our agreement seems great (though fortunately we've never had to use it in any legal situation) and his fee was lower than it would have been Gutierrez, who talked about a minimum of like 5 hours or something. I will use Frederick Hertz for future legal matters as well.


More Reviews of Mediators

June 2006

Does anyone have experience with the family mediator Mary Duryee? Any positive or negative feedback would be most helpful...thanks! Anon, please!


we had mediation with mary duryee. We had a particularly difficult situation, and the process was painful, as I am sure it may be for any divorce. Part of what was frustrating was the communication, as she was not quick about getting back to us about questions, and the custody schedule took her almost a month longer than she had said it would. After much deliberation, and finally receiving the schedule, I found out that our schedule is almost exactly the same as another set of parents who used her, which has me questioning how personalized our schedule actually is. anon

Mediation Services

Re: Mediation for mom and 14-y-o in turmoil? (May 2004)
Dear Mother of the 14 Year Old Girl,
Mediation Services, 22227 Redwood Rd. Castro Valley, offers FREE Parent-Teen Mediation. Mediation is a safe space for both parents and youth to express thier point of view and work towards a mutually satifying solution. We will team up a youth and adult mediator for Parent-Teen Mediations. Issues such as respect, trust, expectations, and independence are issues that we see arise in Parent- Teen Mediations. Please call Shana Subelsky,Youth Services Director, at 510-733-4940 x 224. Thanks and Good Luck! Mediation Services www.mediationservices.org
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