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Affordable Divorce

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My son, currently unemployed, needs a reasonable lawyer

April 2009

My son is currently unemployed and has been separated since Nov. He has a 2 yr old and wants at least 50% custody. His wife gave up her older son to his father. He needs a sweet, strong, understanding, and reasonable lawyer. sue


Perhaps your son does not need to retain an attorney at all - especially if he wants to save $6,000-$30,000 lawyers' fees and keep the divorce as amicable as possible (research has shown that getting lawyers involved makes divorces more contentious, time-consuming & sometimes hideously expensive). He should buy the book & CD set ''How to Do Your Own Divorce in California'' - it contains all the forms needed, plus the phone number of their Divorce Helpline, where he can ask questions of a lawyer if he needs to, for a very reasonable fee. This is what my ex and I will be doing. If his ex-wife did not contest custody in her previous divorce, I'm sure he can get her to agree to half-time custody - and it's best for kids to see a lot of both parents, unless they are abusive or incapable of parenting. If they need one, they can hire a mediator to resolve difficult questions - there's a good non-profit mediation service in Berkeley (http://www.seedscrc.org/services/mediation.php), or pay the $130/hr the private ones charge. Avoid the divorce industry - it's not the only, or best option. I'd also like to recommend Kidsturn, an organization to support kids and parents who are going through a divorce - you will find a website & workshops locally. Good luck to him, his ex & his child. C

Don't have a lot of money - looking to file myself

April 2007

I checked out the BPN website for recommendations on filing for a divorce, but the postings dated back to 2003. I am looking for suggestions on filing for divorce. I have been separated from my estranged husband since 2004. We did not have children together nor assets so I am assuming that this would be an easy process. I don't have a lot of money to spend so I'm looking for the most economical method to acccomplish this goal. Please help! Thanks. Anon


If you believe there will be no arguments regarding the divorce/division of assest/etc, then a paralegal might suffice for your purposes. Otherwise, the next most affordable option is likely to use a divorce mediator. You can also choose to file all the paperwork yourself (and involve no one but a Nolo Press book for guidance), or have the paralegal/mediator file it all for you.

I've heard good things about: Divorce with Dignity Cindy Elwell, Paralegal (510) 523-7290

Divorce Mediator (economical) Maria Joseph mljoseph@comcast.net (510) 869-5301

cvgarb


I divorced inexpensively twice by doing it myself. I bought the Nolo Press book on doing your own divorce. It's not perfect and can be confusing, but with patience you can file your own paperwork. The actual filing fees are somewhere around $200 (it's been a while so I don't remember exactly). In simple cases (no kids or property, short marriage) your spouse doesn't have to file or reply; you get a default divorce.

As a back up, I used Sherman, Williams & Lober at 800-359-7004. They are located in Soquel, CA, but you work with them strictly over the phone. They bill your credit card on a per-minute basis. Both times I did my best with the paperwork, and when I got stuck I prepared all my questions, called them, and got very good, very fast advice on what to do. They were actually very kind and understanding, too.

I had some complicated issues. The first time there was property and a child involved and I had to attend one child custody hearing; the second time I was divorcing someone who was mentally ill and had to set up an agreement between us to cover issues of spousal support. Both times I was still able to do all my own filing. Good luck! Eva


Hi. Don't know where you reside but I'm assuming you're here in the Bay Area. I work in the San Francisco Family Law unit specifically hearing divorce cases and San Francisco has a free legal advice room called ACCESS at their civic center courthouse. You can seek advice there and they will provide you with specific directions as to what you need e.g, which papers to fill out so you can represent yourself in propria persona (meaning you represent yourself without an attorney) in the courtroom. Family law attorneys are expensive, so with no real estate or kids, please, don't bother with attorney fees. I'd also suggest you purchase a copy of a book entitled, MAKING YOUR RECORD written by a panoply of courtroom staff providing terrific information as to how to perform in the courtroom with or without a lawyer. It's a courtroom guidebook that gives you all the nuts and bolts as to courtroom protocol in simple everyday language. You can buy yourself a used copy on Amazon. The better prepared you are, the less expenses incurred, and the easier you make the job for the judge and the courtroom staff to help you with resolution. If you and your ex can stipulate (meaning come to an agreement) beforehand, it makes things flow even smoother!! Good luck!! Legal Beagle
My husband and I have been together 5 years. We each have been through prior divorces. He has nothing good to say about his ex or their life or divorce together (therefore he says very little), but he still comments many times (when general subject is brought up by others) about the excellent experience he had with Divorce With Dignity dwdignity.com married with dignity
Pick up the Nolo Press book on Divorce in CA. It costs about $35. There are forms and instructions on where to check to make sure you have all the correct forms. Also, there is a listing of people who will fill out the divorce forms for you, for a nominal fee, so they will already have the correct forms. My divorce cost me a little over $500 four years ago since my Ex and I could come to agreements on our own and niether of us had much money for an attorney. Happily and cheeply divorced
I divorced my first husband for less than $200 if I remember correctly (this was in 1988, so it was a while ago). We lived in Boston, did not have any children, and - most importantly - both agreed to the divorce. A lawyer friend advised me that I could do it cheaply by going to the courthouse in the district where we lived and filing everything myself. I picked up the paperwork, we both filled it out and signed it, and then there was a waiting period after we submitted it (a cooling down period, to make sure we really wanted to divorce). After that was over, we were summoned to court. It was surreal. There were about 15 couples in the room, all filing for divorce. Each couple took turns walking to the front of the room to speak to the judge. When we got up there, he asked if we had children (No) and if we both agreed to the divorce (Yes). And voila - we were divorced! It took another couple weeks for the official paperwork to come through, and that was it. cclocke
Here is a great website for your situation: http://www.lawca.com/self_help/properdivorce.htm

Then you can go to this site to download the forms: http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/divorce/

Also, ask about the Family Law Facilitator in your county; if you are in Alameda county, there is one at 1225 Fallon in Oakland, near Lake Merritt. Good luck. anon


Divorce with least amount of expenses?

May 2005

Hello, I am seeking recent recommendations for divorce attorneys. I am separated from my husband of 7 years. We have one child together (he is 2.5 yrs). I have already met with an attorney and did not feel that we were a good fit, she was pretty expensive ($300/hour) and she only suggested that we go to a mediator and a child custody mediator (who each charge $375/hour in 10 hour blocks). WOW. Once we have met with them and have come up with some terms then we both have to go back to our respective attorneys and review the documents. Sounds to me like this process is going to be VERY EXPENSIVE and require a lot of meetings. Is this how to get a divorce???? I am very overwhelmed and confused. Thus far my ''spouse'' and I are relatively agreeable and communicating. He moved out and is still paying for household expenses. He refuses to go to counseling and says we are simply not compatible, therefore this is the only option, divorce. We need someone to draft up the child custody and divorce paperwork properly. We have some assets, but nothing all that complicated, house, two cars and a few stock accounts. I would love to hear some recommendations for attorneys or mediators/attorneys who will prepare and process necessary paperwork. My spouse thinks that we can do this online. I disagree. I prefer speaking with someone in person and getting all the facts straight. I would like work with an attorney to advise me (and possibly both of us or my spouse can hire his own if necessary). I want the best legal advice/representation for the price. Any current suggestions? What is the best way to get through this process with the least amount of expenses? Divorce 2005


Give Amalia Hartwell a call (she used to sit on my Board of Directors) 415-771-0136. Also in San Francisco at the Superior Court you can make an appointment with a ''Legal Counselor'' who can help you to fill out all the ''right'' paperwork. You might try this if you are looking for an inexpensive route. Juliette

Doing divorce myself, need help with custody papers

May 2002

my divorce, although very painful, is not contested. I am doing it myself, following the example of a friend. My situation is more complicated though, because I have a small child. I do not know which papers I need to fill out for custody schedules, and how to find the obbligatory formula for child support that the state of California requires. Someone knows this information? Also, someone mentioned that she used a paralegal to do her divorce, with children, and it costed only $300. Please, can you tell me name and phone of whom you used? Or how to find a paralegal with experience in divorce? Thank you very much. Laura


''How to Do Your Own Divorce in California'' explains it all. Using it, and it's companion, ''How to Do Your Own Contested Divorce in California'' I did my own, with rather complicated issues, and with my wife using an attorney (who's bills I paid half of, but let's not go there...).

The various non-attorney divorce services were once called ''Typing Services'' since that's about all they can legally do. they cannot provide you with advice. There are quite a few of them in the Yellow Pages, I've never used them , but ''Expert Legal Aid'' on Fruitvale has been there for at least the last 8 years I know of , and longevity is one clue to small business quality A Divorced Parent


Jan 2000

I can't recommend an attorney but want to address your questions about alternatives and bypassing the lawyers. First, I suggest you check out the Nolo Press website section on divorce at /www.nolo.com/encyclopedia/div_ency.html?t=001A0000011011999 . It will help answer many of your questions. Nolo sells do-it-yourself books that are sufficient to do a very simple divorce. But before going that route, bear in mind the following important issues:
1) Finality of the divorce: many do-it-yourself divorcing couples fail to follow through on the paperwork needed to finalize a divorce. Initially you get what is called an interlocutory (i.e., while the legal action is pending) decree of divorce. You have to go back to court six months later to get a final decree or your divorce never legally occurs -- this can cause major hassles down the road if one spouse remarries.
2) If there are children involved, custody becomes an issue. Even if you think you and the other parent will always be able to handle these issues, things change. Get advice. There are many issues you wouldn't think of, such as whether the custodial parent will be able to move out of state later with the children, what visitation rights a parent who moves away will have, and many more.
3) Property division: Many people assume they have no property worth dividing. This may or may not be true. Equity in a house? Pension benefits? Potential patent/intellectual property rights? Stock in a start up?
4) Tax issues. There are tax implications and special (potentially favorable) rules applicable to the division of property in a dissolution. There are also deductibility issues relating to child custody -- who gets the exemption for the child, for example. Tim


In reply to the person needing info re: divorce and legal matters- I used a paralegal. My divorce was uncontested so we were able to work it out with a little help with paperwork. It was easier and cheaper even though we have a child and had to figure out custody issues. It ended up costing about $300. It is better for everyone if you can possibly cooperate. I know it is hard, nevertheless. Good luck and best wishes.
We had/have (we are in our final stage) Judith Joshel as our mediator and I can highly recommend her. One person here on the list already commented on how important it is to be your own advocate. I, too had some difficulties in this area and felt much better after consulting another attorney. Judith recommended Eva Herzer in Kensington, and I was/am VERY happy with her. As the other poster said, she does mediation, too. My ex also thought that we could do most of the divorce ourselves and we got the Nolo Press books "How to do your own Divorce" and "How to settle Child&Spousal Support". They helped to get informed but nothing more. There was still too much emotional stuff going on and a mediator was much needed. Elizabeth

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