2007 Reviews

After checking the archives, I still need advice for a really, really good divorce lawyer. I have a complicated situation: married 15 years; two children aged 7 and under, one of whom is mentally ill, violent and has many ''special-needs''; I gave up a lucrative professional career to stay at home due to very difficult family circumstances and am now entirely financially dependent on my husband. However, I've finally come to the conclusion that my marriage is unviable, and my husband is abusive and controlling.

My husband is sure to be very nasty in a divorce -- he told me once it would be ''war'' if I ever tried to divorce him. E.g., he will not leave the family home and told me to seek a court order if I want to get him out. I would leave, but don't know if I would be compromising future custody rights vis-a-vis the children.

My husband is a lawyer, will lie when convenient, and will stop at nothing -- including alleging substance abuse and neglect. We have already had the police called to our home for domestic disturbances.

I need a seasoned, extremely competent lawyer who can handle highly charged situations, which mine is sure to be. I need some pre-separation planning advice, as well as someone to guide me step-by-step through what is sure to be a hellacious experience. Thanks for any referrals. Had it

We just got news of our long standing divorce case being decided against our favor. The judge strongly recommends appealing since she was not able to do anything but feels the contract is so unfair. Need an aggressive, smart, charitable family lawyer who works appeals. We live in Oakland. Want the BEST!!!! anon

After many years of unhappiness, I'm waking up to the fact that my husband is emotionally and verbally abusive. I'm considering divorce and am looking for a lawyer who is familiar with these kinds of issues and dynamics and how they play into divorce and custody. It's a perilous road so I really want someone who knows what I'm dealing with. Prefer East Bay. Thank you. anon

There is an organization in Southern California called New Horizons (or something of that nature) that has published an excellent guide to the California family courts for survivors of domestic abuse. If you can't find their information, please ask the moderator to provide you with my email address, and I will find their contact information (or copy the guide for you if you prefer). It's a wonderful and very informative publication, and I consider it essential for anyone in your situation. Good luck. Been there too

I need an assertive divorce attorney who practices primarily in Oakland and is well respected by the Oakland judges. The archives on recommended divorce attorneys don't specify whether they practice in Oakland. I don't have major child custody issues; main issues will be his attempt to get a share of my pension, and division of assets. Because of his attitude, mediation won't work for us. M

I'm looking for an attorney who can handle a Divorce/Child Custody case. Any personal recommendations? In need of help

2006 Reviews

Andrea Eichorn is a wonderful, sharp attorney based in Piedmont/Oakland. Her number is (510) 652-0220. She does not do litigation but does mediation and collaborative divorce. And she can advise you even if she doesn't end up representing you. Good luck. It's a tough situation. Susan

I have found that I may require the services of a divorce attorney. The posts that I have checked are several years old and I would like to receive some recent referrals. Thanks, Denise

2005 Reviews

I have checked the archives for recommendations regarding divorce/family law attorneys, but my particular question didn't arise. That is, I do not want to retain legal counsel for divorce -- I would prefer to do mediation. But many (including my therapist) have recommended that I consult a lawyer about my rights and responsibilities before entering into mediation. Cost is an issue for me, and I would prefer to have just one consultation to get an idea of the big picture before broaching the issue of mediation (we are currently in couples therapy with a therapist who will do mediation if we request it). I have looked through the Nolo ''do-it-yourself'' book but still feel the need to ask some pointed questions pertaining to our particular situation. Is it true, as the Nolo book argues, that family lawyers will resist doing a single consultation and insist on being retained? Does anyone know of any lawyer who would consult with me as I prefer? Or am I being unrealistic? We have been married for nearly fifteen years and have a minor child. Thanks for any advice stressed and in need of info

By the way, all cases that go through the family court system are referred for mandatory family court services mediation. Some of the mediators are good, some are awful. All are really busy. I don't know if this applies to your case or not, but mediation is terrible for anyone who has been a victim of any form of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse, because the abusive partner usually comes out stronger and more reasonable, while the abused partner comes out looking weak and irrational, regardless of intellectual strength and abilities. I would not recommend any form of mediation as a substitute for legal counsel, especially in cases where any abuse is involved.

I don't know if she's taking clients at this time, but you might want to give her a call. Best wishes. anon

I have been married twenty years and will be getting divorce. I have looked at the website and made several calls. I am thinking of employing Margaret Gannon. Can anyone please give me some feedback if you have employed her or heard of her? She currently charge $300 per hour which is pricey. anon

Using a mediator vs. using an attorney

I recently asked my husband to move out. He had been taking money from our accounts to go drinking and buying lap dances at strip joints and lying about how he was at work those nights. All of this while I was pregnant with our third child. It went on for a year then I caught him and he promised to stop and get counseling and marriage therapy ... He stopped his individual counseling after three sessions. Told our marriage counselor he was only interested in a marriage of convenience for the kids sake. I also caught him again taking money out last week. I dont want a long drawn out ugly divorce case but I also want to protect myself. THere is a house and some stocks and IRAs and three kids involved. Which way should I go? Any pros or cons? I am not in a mental place to do this on my own with a Nolo book. I know there are archives and recommendations for lawyers and mediators but how do you decide which type to go with? thanks much. dazed and confused

My concern, however, would be that in my experience mediation only works where both parties agree that there is a problem, that each in good faith wants to work it out and that both are willing stand behind any agreements reached. Facts you have mentioned -- lying, not following through with commitments, doing things behind your back -- make me wonder if litigation would be a better choice in your situation. It provides finality and clarity where the parties are incapable of coming to their own resolutions.

I'd suggest that you speak with a couple of litagators and a couple of mediators in family law to see what they think would be the best approach to your situation and why. There are even some litigator/mediators who offer both. Their input could give you a better basis on which to make your decision. anon

2004 Reviews

I have read the listings on the UC Berkeley website several times, but want to know if there are any OTHER recommendations for good divorce attorneys in the East Bay. My husband and I have been together for 12 years, have a young daughter, and love each other very much, but we need to divorce. I'm looking for somebody VERY good at this type of thing, but also compassionate. This is extraordinarily painful. I'm not out to 'get him.' I just want to land on my feet if possible. He makes a lot more money than I do, and he's leaving me for somebody else. Any recommendations or advice is appreciated. Needing help

Divorce (also look for recommendations under family law or 
custody):
Margaret Gannon - Oakland - 452-1700
Susan Bender - Oakland - 832-1411
Cynthia Podren - Berkeley - 527-5901
Miriam Steinbock - Oakland - 763-5611
Dennis Rothhaar - Oakland - 763-5611
If you need names in SF, email me and I'll give you some.

Family law Mediators: 
Eva Herzer - Kensington - 526-5144
Martina Reeves - Berkeley - 559-2685

2003 Reviews

I'd appreciate any recommendations about a good divorce attorney who can advise me about my rights in a potentially complex situation (all of the property is in my name, but we live in California, I earn more than my husband by a long shot, and we have a recently adopted infant). I'm not sure what I want to do yet, but his prior divorce was very acrimonious and he has advised me that he has already checked into his rights. It could be grandstanding, but I think I need to be sure that I and my son are taken care of.

Feel free to e-mail me with more info, if you're in San Francisco, Alameda or Marin Counties I could give you numbers and names of people to see. Consultations with lawyers sometimes are free or cost at most one-two hours of time. See more than one lawyer before you decide; they'll also give you practical and legal advice in that first meeting that should help give you a more knowledgeable (and less intimidated) perspective on things. Good Luck. RW

Another suggestion at the other end of the spectrum is to use a mediator. Eva Herzer in Kensington (526-5144) is wonderful ... (click here to see review) Good luck! anonymous

I am in urgent need of finding a new family law attorney. I have read all the recommendations on this site and have even seen one of those attorneys, whom I found extremely abrasive and condescending. The next one charged me exoribant fees that have amounted to 10,000 for doing awfully little. My husband and I are divorcing and he is seeking to gain custody of our kids. My husband's attorney is very agressive. I thought I could divorce amicably and fairly. However this is anything but that, and I stand to lose a lot if I don't get excellent representation. So if you have a recommendation, I would love to hear from you, but keep in mind, that with the mess I have on my hands, I now need the very best representation available. Preferably someone who has many years in the field, has a stellar reputation, and is possibly also a family law specialist. Thank you. stalwarth but folding

Attorney for same-sex ''divorce''

I'm trying to find a family law attorney who has experience working with dissolution of same-sex relationships. There are children and property involved. Any recommendations would be appreciated! Anon

Low cost divorce

Hi, I need a lawyer who would help me in my divorce and does not asking alot because I don't have money. Until January 2002, when I filed a divorce, we lived seperately. I wanted to do divorce by myself but it is getting more difficult for me. He is responded on the last day; I did preliminary declaration of assets, etc. He did not responded, asked me for more time. Then he told me that it is difficult for him to do it and is getting a lawyer to do it. I don't know what to do now. Please tell me a person who would help me with a low fee or none. My salary is not much here. Thank you.

I have reviewed the digest for divorce attorneys, but there doesn't seem to be anyone who is notably agressive. My husband has become completely irrational and terrorizing and I no longer have it in me to stand up for myself. If anyone has any experience with an honest attorney who will fight like a bull dog to help me keep my baby I would be quite grateful. Thank you

Also, I recommend Kids'Turn. It's a 6-week program for divorced, divorcing and separated families of all kinds. I found it extremely helpful for me and my children.

That said, how do you find a good lawyer? The Bar Association's advice is largely useless. Its own list consists of lawyers who don't get enough business on their own. Your acquaintances (''word of mouth'') have highly subjective opinions based on whether they ''won'' or ''lost''.Start with the Yellow Pages' list of attorneys who are ''certified'' in family law. By telephone, ask 5 or 6 lawyers to recommend 3 or 4 others. And yes, you can ask for a b**-buster. See which names keep popping up. Narrow it down to 3 or 4. Talk to them. Then go down to the clerk's office in the County Courthouse and use the computer case files to see which ones have been sued by former clients. I am not an attorney. Mark

I am in the process of divorce and have narrowed my selection of attorney down to two. If anyone has knowledge of or experience with these either of these two lawyers, please respond: Michael Bailey (Alameda) and Tracy Kaufmann (Oakland). I've seen the recommendations for others on this site, but for one reason or another they won't work for me. Thanks!

Tracy I know from out and about. She is funny and very invested in what she does. She can become very involved in a case - and very passionate if it is something she believes in. I do not know the outcome of her cases but she is an intelligent woman and seems to enjoy what she does. She is also a mother of two so she can relate.

I may be looking for a new family law attorney, as I am not sure that the one I am currently working with is strong enough of a negotiator. My husband has hired a very aggressive attorney. We have worked out part of our agreement through Eva Herzer, who is a mediator and very good, but we are getting bogged down and I want to finalize this emotional mess in as business-like a manner as possible. I looked on the web-site, but am interested in other recommendations. mom-of-2 small ones

I need a mediator and/or an attorney to help create a mutually acceptable legal separation document and then file for divorce. Can anyone recommend a mediator/attorney who practices family law and is family friendly and not trying to stir up things for his hourly billings benefit? This would be your basic non contested divorce but there are tricky financial and custody issues that we need helpwith from a third party skilled in Calif. law. Thanks very much! georg

Recommendations received:

Donna L. Smith, Attorney at Law,
1604 Solano Ave., Berkeley 94707;
510/526-6050.