Our family will probably move to Salt Lake City, Utah, much to my chagrin. I love the Bay Area and feel it is where my heart belongs. However, I am hoping to find aspects of my new potential home which will make me feel a part of the community. I am not Mormon, so I am concerned about finding friends, a job, a school for my son and a sense of belonging without joining the Mormon faith. I am looking for advice from people who are familiar with the area. Thanks!

First of all, though LDS culture is dominant throughout Utah, SLC is less than half LDS. There are plenty of Gentiles (non-LDS, admittedly bizarre if you happen to be Jewish) in SLC, and there are brew-pubs, cafes serving caffeine, and plenty of other lifestyle choices to prove it. So you can lead a Gentile life in SLC without too much complication.

Like many places where the predominant culture is conservative, pockets of liberal resistance (both LDS and non-) are particularly active in Utah, especially in SLC and especially at U/Utah. If you have a cause, there will be people out there to be in touch with. But if day-to-day life is more your concern, I can say that in my experience, even living in a real stronghold of LDS culture (Provo/BYU), people were respectful of our differences. There was no effort to convert me or even convince me to stop drinking coffee (which would probably be good for me, anyway).

It helps (a lot) if you can be respectful of other peoples' religious and cultural choices. Those Gentiles (and LDS) I knew who were deeply unhappy in Utah were the ones who just couldn't stand even looking at the LDS lifestyle. It wasn't enough that they themselves were not required to stop smoking, stop drinking coffee, start having lots of children, etc. etc. They didn't want anyone else to have to do those things, and they thought the whole religion was silly/onerous/oppressive/diabolical, etc. I adopted the strategy of thinking of LDS as a foreign culture (which it is, if you're not LDS), something like Hinduism for a non-Hindu. Then it became exotic, interesting, and something I could happily allow to exist (speaking from a culturally arrogant perspective here), as long as it didn't infringe too much on my own spiritual/cultural space.

The one place where I could see long-term residence as a problem (as a liberal) is the political arena, which is a place where Mormonism can impose its values through the democratic process. In that respect, Utah does not differ much from much of the conservative U.S. One important difference between the LDS Church and many fundamentalist movements, however, is the culture's emphasis on learning. I found a lot of very good intellectual conversation partners/friends in Utah, among both LDS and non. I hope you do, too. If you would like to talk, let the list organizer know and she can give you my number. Good luck!