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We are considering a move from Berkeley to the Burton Valley neighborhood in Lafayette. It would be hard for us to leave Berkeley, but we’re also drawn to the idea of having great schools for our kids, a large garden, and sunnier weather so that we can spend more time outdoors. We have a 3-year-old and a 4-month-old. We know it would be quite a cultural shift from Berkeley to Lafayette. We have a great sense of community here and we feel like we can connect easily with most other people/parents around us. We wonder if we’d feel the same way in Lafayette. We’re liberal, not wealthy by any means, we watch little to no television, we drive older cars, we can walk to a lot in our neighborhood. We’ve read all that’s been posted about Lamorinda on BPN and have been concerned about some comments concerning the “culture of wealth” in the area. I worry about what the high school experience would be like if these comments are valid? Our other main concern is the lack of racial diversity in the area. We know that more and more people are moving from Oakland/Berkeley/SF to Lamorinda, so is this shifting? Pondering.....
You will have to actually drive to the store or the park. Our kids are preschool age and younger, so we don't have them in public school yet, but my friends send their kids to the local schools and the parents are expected to ''donate'' I think it's $300 at the beginning of the year to the class. My friends cannot afford this and after being harrassed by the office staff for 2 weeks my friend finally told them off, reminding them that it's a public school, and ''donations'' aren't mandatory. (this is how the schools can afford extra curricular things and such, they don't spend much on the schools, many voters are old and have grown children or no kids at all so they don't pass bond measures for schools or the roads. Laf. cannot afford to fix it's own roads. they also don't pay a competetive wage for the teachers, but I digress) ANYWAY, after being here for a while we've realized that just cuz it's different doesn't make it bad. The people we have met have all been very kind. I am the one who's been tying myself in knots about parties and ''fitting in'', and really, that's my problem. I haven't met any people who've mad me feel inferior.
there are actually lots of working families and mom's who put their kids in daycare, etc. When you drive to the store, at least there's no traffic (I'll take Mt. Diablo B. over San Pablo any day), when you go out to eat, know that you will most likely have to go to a chain restaurant, when you miss Berkeley, drive throught the tunnel. When you come home you will have your nice big yard with all the trees to hang out in! anon
Water finds its own level, you will search out and find families with the same values. It just took longer than if I lived in Rockridge or Albany (we have been here 5 years now). There are some very, very wealthy people here but I personally can say that they will still welcome your children into their homes regardless of your financial standing.
To be brutally honest, people would be surprised if you do not contribute anything financially to the schools. There is a reason why Lamorinda _always_ has the 2nd highest APIs (high school) in the state. The $400 a family we give every year pays for the 2 art teachers, the extra library staff, the choir director's salary, the band director's salary, the 30 brand new iMacs we got this year, to name a few things. The $400 is voluntary - you can give what you feel you can afford. Some families give $100. But I look at it this way - $100 is $8.33 a month. I translate that into one less Safeway sandwich a month in exchange for a wealth of educational benefits.
So while lack of diversity is a glaring issue, the benefits of a deeply involved community, fabulous school enrichment programs a reasonly safe area to live and raise children and generally nice people outweigh the negatives. anon
It also asks for this money from residents without children in the schools, and part of the reason is that the schools' reputation is a direct factor in real estate value--hopefully everyone wins if LASF does it job well. Some people misinterpret the calls as bullying for money, but LASF relies so much on community funding and gives back a tremendous benefit to the schools and therefore, back to the community. I have worked those phonathons asking for money, and I am not school staff--I am a school parent volunteering for LASF.
We miss diversity, yes. We embrace the slower, less urban environment here, though, too. I enjoy going to the store and recognizing faces. Everything we still love about Berkeley and Oakland are just 15 minutes away by car, 20 or so by BART. We get more sunshine, fantastic gardening weather and space, bike trails abound for runner, skaters, bikers and walkers.
There are plenty of non-chain restaurants--Chow, Pizza Antica, Bo's Barbeque, and even more in Walnut Creek, just 5 miles away. Lafayette has plenty to offer, and the road issue is definitely being worked on through ballot initiatives. Good luck! Carolyn
My husband and I and two young boys (ages 3yrs. & 18 months) will be relocating to Orinda or Lafayette California in June of this year, after having lived 20 years in Southern California. Although I have plans on becoming integrated (mom's group, community classes) into the community I'm nervous about how quickly I'll be able to make friends and therefore feel at home. This will be my first move since moving away from my parents home to go to college in the late 80's (thats how i landed in S. Cal). Does anyone out there have any advice for me? Also, do the two areas have a lot of mom's in there late 30's with young kids? mj
Dear Folks:
My family is moving from Boston to Berkeley in January. We are
looking for some apartment to rent. I have found an apartment
at Lafayette Commons Apartments located at 3255 Mt. Diablo Ct.
I know it's always recommended to see the place before you rent
it, but since I am unable to make it there for a visit soon, I
am wondering if anyone on this list would know about this
apartment complex and its neighborhood schools etc. I have two
kids (7 and 11). I would REALLY appreciate it if you could help
me with this.
Many thanks, and Happy Thanksgiving!
Sarah
We're considering a move to Lafayette from Berkeley for a variety of
reasons. We particularly like the idea of living near the bike path, giving our kids a safe way to get to school and friends' houses. It seems like the ideal place for younger kids and preteens (we have one of each). After reading the archives about living in Lamorinda, however, one issue that worries me is the pressure on teens living in an affluent area.
Can anyone with firsthand experience with a teen in Lafayette shed
some light on the issues and how their teen has coped? I also wonder
about the general flavor of Lafayette compared to other East Bay
suburban towns. We were in Danville over the weekend and we
amazed (disgusted, really) at the outward show of wealth in terms of
cars, clothing, etc. Stopping in Lafayette on the way home for a Jamba
Juice and at the elementary school park nearby where a kids' soccer
game was happening, we found the environs more subdued. We saw
more minivans and Ford Explorers than Jags and BMWs. Was the
snapshot accurate or are we just fooling ourselves?
Considering a move
I would guess that Danville is a lot like Lafayette...there are areas of extreme wealth and areas of more moderate incomes. I had concerns before I moved to Danville (''older'' parents, adopted kids, mid-level income)but I have found a friendly & welcoming community and we love it here!!
I will be returning to work soon and will commute from the
Lafayette station to the City. I am trying to plan dropoff time
for my son's daycare. Can anyone tell me when the Lafayette
BART parking lot fills in the morning? Thanks in advance!!
mom returning to work
Re: Family-friendly and more liberal Lamorinda 'hoods
Hi,
I grew up in Lamorinda. For what you are looking for, Lafayette
is much better. Burton Valley is a really nice neigborhood. To
be honest, you are probably not going to find that much difference
is neighborhoods as far as liberal vs.
conservative, etc. A good rule of thumb in Lamorinda, is the more
money, the more likely the family is conservative, even if they
claim to be liberal. Of course this isn't always the case! But
like I said, it's a general rule of thumb. For example, Happy
Valley was generally considered more elitist when I was growing
up. (By the way, I'm 32, just to give you a point of reference.)
As far as commuting, if you are taking BART, there really isn't
much difference between Lafayette and Orinda, except that parking
may be a little easier in Orinda.
Anon
You will find that the downtown school has more cultural/economic diversity. The Happy Valley area is known to be wealthier, Burton Valley the largest school, and Springhill small but further from the mail drag in town! We have found that the area has changed tremendously even since we moved here with many, many people from Oakland, Berkeley, SF, choosing Lafayette for their new homes, hence the political/cultural thinking is much more liberal/progressive. Families here live a very outdoorsy life with kids involved in many sports throughout the year. There is a local community center offering numerous classes both for adults and kids. Many coffee shops, restaurants, a couple of grocery stores including a Trader Joes, auto repair, department, drug stores and yes even thrift stores that we all love either shopping or donating to! A bit of everything. There are buses taking in the main roads to the Bart Station and if I've had to use the bart have not had a problem parking even at 11 in the morning. Good luck with your search and feel free to email me if you want more info. runnerz
The neighborhood is, in its own way, a walking/biking neighborhood. Almost all of our kids' friends are in the neighborhood so they walk, bike or scooter to their playdates, sports practices, etc. We have two swim/tennis clubs right here so kids find each other at the pool all summer. I can't tell you the last time I got in the car to go to a party - we just walk! Politics are no worry. All of our friends are left-leaning ex- SF residents - you'll find plenty of kindred spirits.
I have all kinds of friends in Burton Valley, more than I can
handle. And I've noticed that the ones who aren't happy here
brought their unhappiness with them. Eventually, they blame the
neighborhood for their unhappiness. Just something to think about.
Finally, about diversity. We have gay parents, people of color,
and the other usual markers of ''diversity''. But we don't have
much economic diversity. Everyone is here for one reason:
excellent public schools. And they've all paid to live here.
There's not much diversity in that.
When I look back on what I've written here, I'm not sure much of
it is unique to Burton Valley. I do think many of these thoughts
apply to Glorietta, Del Rey, etc. By the way, don't choose a
neighborhood based on proximity to BART. You'll get over the small
differences in proximity in just a few short months
- Burton Valley Neighbor
Re: What neighborhoods do young families tend to move to? As a native San Franciscan, I was reluctant to leave the city for the suburbs but our family's experience in Lafayette has been great. The idea of it being all empty nesters/conservative folks is outdated. No doubt it may seem 'conversative' compared to other parts of the Bay Area but it really isn't. I have met some pretty liberal people if that is truly a concern for you, much more so than the other end of the spectrum. There are plenty of families with young children, school age, and older and all have come for the great schools. I have joined the local mother's club (www.lamorindamomsclub.orgO which provides a great resource for connecting with other parents of young children. There are many other organizations you can join at the broaded community level. I doubt anyone would consider me hip but I have met all of kinds interesting people.
Left the City and am over it
Martha
Re: Worried about exclusivity if I move to Lamorinda
We also made the move through the tunnel to Lafayette, although we still spend a lot of time in Oakland we have met wonderful neighbors and other friends who also made ''the move''. I recomend that you join Lamorinda Moms Club, good way to meet others, and join playgroups.
Lamorinda Mom
I think Lafayette offers the widest range of incomes of the three communities, and hopefully, a good realtor could steer you in the direction of the neighboorhood that would be the best fit. Good luck with your decision! Claire
As for your concern about the ''country club'' lifestyle in LaMorinda,I know of few country clubs. Many pools and clubs to join, but most are fairly down to earth. Yes, there are many people who were born and raised here in LaMorinda and have now chosen to move back and raise their own families (and you'll see a ton of Cal bumper stickers and license plates!). But I believe that speaks well for the community. My husband and I try very hard to make sure our kids are grounded, have culture, go into SF, experience diversity, modest travel, and have exposure to those less fortunate by doing charitable work. I always believe it starts from the home. When we encounter snooty behavior, we simply ignore it, as I would with anyone. As a result, I'm proud to say my kids are leaders and well liked (and no they are not on the traveling soccer team, they don't play baseball and as a result, we have free time to hang out and enjoy our family time outside of a moving vehicle).
Lastly I want to say this...I have siblings who live in Oakland and Piedmont-two wonderful places. They all have children. The Oakland sibling has had all the children in private school and will now be looking at a very expensive private high school (all while trying to save for their college educations). My childrens education is paid for through my property taxes (which I get to write off, private school you do not). And for all the volunteering and fundraising my husband and I do for our Lafayette schools, my sister does 10x more.
Your biggest challenge of course will be trying to find a home as nice as the one you're in. Don't let that get you down. There are many homes on the market right now. If you need a few names of real estate agents, I know some great one's...not pushy! Check out the Reliez Valley area and the Burton Valley area in Lafayette. Moraga's nice too but far out. Best of Luck to you. You sound like a very nice, thorough person.
I am a SAHM and have found that unless you are from the ''white gal'' culture it is VERY hard to find truly good friends. There is a ton of superficial politeness, but it is clear that some people don't want to have anything to do with me because I am just not like them. Money, money, more money and a big house and fancy car that let's everyone know I have money would buy me entry into some of the cliques. Cliques are established and tough to break in to. It can be a VERY lonely place.
The ''great'' school reputation is deserved because of the parent involvement both in the classroom and financially. The rate and amount of ''donations'' expected is voluminous. At our elem. school there is a handful of ''great'' teachers the rest are mediocre to woeful. One the first grade teachers wrote up a sentence for the children to copy that ended in ''at''. Schools are for the most part white. High stakes testing means there is no time (and in reality little interest) in teaching cultural diversity. This maybe true of public school in the Berkeley area but at least your children are experiencing cultural diversity by just going to school with children of color and different nations. I know very few children who are NOT enrolled in intense enrichment including private tutoring, Kuman and Sylvan. The pressure on the children and the parents to succeed academically is frightening.
Save your children and yourselves and your money - stay where you
are and go to a private school!
Can't wait to bust out of here.
Re: African-American in Lamorinda
I grew up in Moraga, and presently live in Lafayette. Being
white, I am not sure I can really answer your question as to
how you might feel here, as you are correct in that there are
not many African-American families here (I believe there are
two families at our elementary school). However, I just wanted
to write to say that I sincerely hope you will consider moving
here, and that I am sure you would be warmly welcomed in this
community. Most of the people I talk to who live around here
name the lack of diversity as one of the few drawbacks, so
slowly, I hope that will change!
Welcome Wagon
We have debates about whether our biracial children are best served in the Lamorinda community. I do not know what the right answer is, but will give you my thoughts. There are many families that we know that have other racial backgrounds other than European. Most of these families are interracial or asian. Here are some of the families that we know in our community: Chinese-Chinese, African American- European American, European American-Phillipines, Hispanic- Jewish and more. We are here and I hope you join us. The main reason I stay here as many other parents in this community, is for the education. My biracial children deserve the same high level of education and expectations of them as the blond child sitting in the next seat. So far, my children have been doing well academically. I do not look to the Lamorinda community to provide diversity or cultural education. We try to do that in other ways.
As a balance, we also do participate in other activities in Berkeley. We attend the City of Berkeley family camp at Tuolumne. We have other biracial family friends that live in Berkeley. David
Re: Gay dads considering a move to Orinda/Layfayette
Hi Gay Dads!
Yes, come on out. We are a lesbian couple who have lived in
Lafayette for 3 years now. We have 2 boys, one almost 9 years
(next week) the other almost 5 years. We moved from NYC, rented
in Richmond for a year and toured the East Bay. Found Lafayette
and fell in love. Our neighbors are great, we are always
trading off children, pets and helping each other out as any
other neighbor would. The schools have been great. Not the
diversity of Berkeley/Oakland but for us that wasn't our #1
piority. You will find more ethnic/family/economic diversity in
the downtown school then any other and also the one middle
school in Lafayette. The teachers have been great (not perfect,
but who is?). We speak to them at the beginning of the school
year. We have spoken with our Principal about the forms from
the district not being gender neutral and they are working on
that. There have been no negative incidents at the school or
anywhere else where people know us. I work at the local
community center (coaching gymnastics) and certainly don't
advertise my sexuality but when asked about my children and
spouse I tell them and everyone is cool about it.
We live near the trail so the children get to bike, walk, scooter etc. to school. We love running so it's the perfect location for us and also walking to downtown. It's great. There are pools all over you can belong to. Our boys play on the soccer, baseball, hockey, and swim teams (yes we drive a minivan!) and no one bats an eyelid to our family make-up.
There are another couple of Lesbian families here and in Moraga and tons in Walnut Creek/Concord/Pleasant Hill. Actually there is a fairly new group (for us families thru the tunnel) called Rainbow Families that meet once or twice a month with the kids in different areas for pizza etc. Last month everyone came to Freddies in Lafayette. The group has many two Dad/single families from 'thru the tunnel' as well.
I can't speak for Orinda but we did also look there and found it quite a bit hillier and all we could think about was ''Gee, how do these people make it up their driveways when it snows''??
Phew, I went on a bit but we really do love Lafayette and would
just love more gay and lesbian families to come out here. We
actually found it cheaper then living in Berkeley/Oakland and
got more for our money. feel free to e-mail us if you want any
more info or would like to come out to visit and we can show you
the neighborhood! We can also recommend a great real estate
broker who's a Gay Dad from Alamo. Good Luck.
lesbians loving Lafayette
Re: Should I move to the suburbs for the schools?
I don't know if it's the solution for you, but moving to
Lafayette was the best thing we did. We were living in the N.
Oakland Hills and were in the Kaiser district. I don't know
anything about that school but wasn't thrilled with the prospect
of Oakland schools in general (not an educated opinion I admit)
or Oakland Tech. We ended up in Lafayette for it's schools, for
their arts and science foundation and the community. Our son is
now in 2nd grade at the downtown school, Lafayette elementary
and started there with kindergarten. Our second son is in
preschool still. The teachers, principal and support staff are
amazing, very hands-on and concerned and knows every family by
face and name. The foundation LASF is funded by contributions
from families and community to the tune of $750k - 1mm a year.
It supplies additional music, art and science programs to the 4
elementary, 1 middle and 1 high schools. There is a meeting
tonight about the school budgets and what we can do to lessen
the impact. Most parents I've spoken with are going. Finally
the community is totally family oriented. You can go anywhere
with your kids without people looking funny at you and can get
whatever services and activities you can dream of. We were ones
that said we never would go over the hill, but are very happy
about it now. Life is much easier where we are.
Linda
Last updated: Apr 13, 2008
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