Alcoholics Anonymous for teen daughter?

I am helping my teenage daughter to deal with not drinking and we are trying to explore all the ideas and methods out there. Right now the most developed ones seem to be AA and Rational (see rational.org). I am not that familiar with the latter, but am certainly open to anything that will speak to her and us as a family. Yes, she's in therapy, yes, she's going to school and is a good student, getting excercise, yes, we are involved parents. No, we don't have Kaiser: I hear they have a VERY good substance abuse program. I would like to hear back from people who have had experience either themselves or through a relative with these methods, or others that were enlightening. Abstainence is the way to go for us. Please reserve judgement and only give helpful advice. Thanks! anon

Hi, My mom forwarded me your message. I am in recovery and just celebrated 5 years of sobriety. I started going to AA when I hit a bottom at 31. At first I couldn't relate to anyone at the meetings, but I met some great women who helped me through that first 90 days of not using. If it wasn't for the personal connections I made in the meetings, I probably would have gone back to drinking. It was such a relief to hear people talking about the things I thought I only did- the crazy behavior and thinking that surrounds alcohol and drug abuse. It was also a relief to hear that alcoholism is a disease and not a defect of character.

I too have heard Kaiser has a great program (a lot of people I know in AA went through it). I heard many negative things about Rational. I would recommend AA to your daughter. There are some great young people's meetings (I went to one in Oakland and everyone was 17-25), and there is a community of sober people there. My experience is that AA is the path that works. It saved my life, gave me back a relationship with my mom, gave me a life again. Hope this helps, Recovering Alcoholic joan

AA meeting for a dad

My husband is two months sober and very much interested in finding an established AA meeting with members who have young families. He has been to some meetings that no one shows up to open the door and others who have either all retired people or some who have very few experienced people. He knows the best way of doing this is to go to all the listed meetings in the area (hundreds of them) but in the interst of time and hoping there are some other dads out there who have traveled this road .. we are hoping to get some recommendations. Many thanks,
seeking AA dads

Try the rather unfortunately named ''Drunks-R-Us'' (DRU for those in the know). It's at: 941 The Alameda, Berkeley (just north of Solano) in the Northbrae Community Center (upstairs). It's an old established meeting with a good group of people. A lot of sobriety at that one. Time is 6:00 pm weekdays. Good starting point.

For sheer numbers go to the First Congregation Church at 27th and Harrison, Oakland on the first Friday of each month. It's one of the biggest east bay meetings and you can see everybody and meet people.

Also, ''Up To Our Neck'', 6:30 PM , Sat. 397 Euclid (at Van Buren, near Lake Merritt) is a 20's to 40's crowd and kind of hipster-ish.

It can take awhile to plug in. But you will. Try asking people what other meetings they like.

eastbayaa.org has all the schedules by the way.

Happy Hunting Anonymous, of course

Alanon meeting in Oakland

I'm looking for suggestions for an Al-Anon meeting in the Oakland area. It's been years since I've been to one and I'm looking for something that is not too overbearing.

Regarding Shared custody with Hostile and abusive dad
I am going through a difficult divorce myself right now and I have found Alanon to be invaluable in helping me deal with all aspects of this process. I don't know if your husband drinks but at the very least he sounds like a rageaholic and Alanon is for anyone who has a problem with a relationship in which there is a addictive behavior. I have been helped on so many levels, practical, emotional and spiritual and I am amazed at the love and acceptance I've found there. People are available to be called almost 24/7 at no charge and the meetings themselves are incredibly healing. And you will have a chance to look without self-blame at your own patterns and behaviors that contribute to your present dilemma. I can't recommend it highly enough as a way to keep your sanity and your relationship with your son in this obviously traumatic situation. There are many meetings both day and night and I don't know if you work from 9-5 but some I like are the Monday and Friday noon (you can bring your lunch) meetings at Calvary Presbyterian Church, 1940 Virginia at Milvia. (women only) or the Thursday afternoon Family meeting 1:30-2:30 at Northbrae Community Church, 941 the Alameda (enter via stairs from the parking lot in back). There is a short newcomer's meeting from 1-1:30 before this one. Alanon has no religious affiliation although there is somewhat of an emphasis on finding a relationship with your Higher Power however you define that. But really there is NO pressure to show up anyway than exactly how you are. And there are many meetings. The # to call if you want more info is 839-8900.

AlaTeen

As the holidays approach, the tension in homes with problem drinkers sometimes escalates. If you have teens or know of teens who could benefit from the 12-step approach to living with alcoholism in a family member or close friend, there is an Alateen meeting on Tuesday nights at 8 in Albany at St. Albans Episcopal on Washington (near Santa Fe). Alateen is an anonymous, non-denominational program. In Alateen, teens can express their feelings about the family situation in a safe, non-judgmental environment, learn ways to cope with difficulties associated with alcohol abuse, and receive support and encouragement from peers and adults with similar family circumstances. Kids 12-18 are welcome (sometimes younger kids can also benefit). For more info, please e-mail district26alateen at yahoo.com

I've been asked to let the Teen Parents know that a new Alateen meeting is starting at St. Alban's Episcopal Church in Albany starting May 1. The meeting runs from 8 to 9. Alateen is part of the Al-Anon Family Groups and is designed for teens whose lives have been affected by drinking in a close friend or family member. If you have questions, please contact district26alateen at yahoo dot com.