Sibling Preparation Classes
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Sibling Preparation Classes
Jan 2004
My son is 3 years old and will become a big brother in June. I
am considering signing him up for the sibling preparation class
at Alta Bates (which is where the new baby will be born), and I
have read the comments on the website. I am interested in more
recent reviews, and I have a couple of questions not addressed
by the archived comments:
Can anyone tell me what, if anything, is said to the kids about
jealousy/rivalry issues? Friends have told me it's best NOT to
get some of the sibling books out there because the older child
may not be jealous of the baby unless and until he is read all
these books that assume he will be!
What, if anything, is said about breastfeeding and bottle
feeding? Cribs? Crying? We are a breastfeeding, sling-
wearing, co-sleeping family, and I wonder if there will be any
disconnect between what the teacher says to expect and our son's
actual experience. I am particularly curious about what
messages are offered about breastfeeding (because unless my son
weans himself soon I'm going to be tandem nursing!) and whether
family-bed safety issues are addressed at all.
Thanks!
Holly
Our family enjoyed the Alta Bates sibling class. My son was
almost 2 at the time (we attended roughly 1 year ago) - and
mainly it prepared him for his visit to the hospital (such as
the robe mommy will be wearing, what doctors may be wearing, the
plastic thing on the baby's bellybutton and the buttons on
mommy's bed - huge highlight. What baby's do (crying, sleeping
and pooping/peeing) was also covered. I recall the teacher
being open and non-judgemental. The teacher did read a book -
something about there always being room on mama's lap which we
later received as a gift - but that was as close to
jealousy/rivalry as she got. I don't recall any discussion
about where the baby sleeps or even how the baby is fed. The
kids did a puzzle of a mommy with a baby under the belly - and
that was pretty much it. The tour of the hospital and the snack
of graham crackers and cranberry was also a highlight. The
class for 3 year olds may be different. Hope this helps.
Nancy
Dec 2002
My wife and I are preparing for our second child in November and
are considering signing up for the sibling preparation class at
Alta Bates. Has anyone taken this and, if so, did you find it
helpful? More importantly, would it be something that our easily
distracted 2-yr-old son would benefit from? From the course
description, it sounds like they pack a lot in to a 1-hour
class, and we are concerned that it might be information
overload for a young child.
Thanks, Patrick
I attended the Alta Bates sibling preparation class last fall
with my daughter who was then almost 2 1/2. While there were
some parts she didn't enjoy (there was a session on diapering
baby dolls and my daughter is not a doll person), overall I
thought it was excellent. It was fast moving, so the kids
didn't get restless or bored. When we took the class, there was
a special 2s class which was helpful because the teacher didn't
assume the level of patience that the older kids might have. I
thought in particular that the mini tour was very helpful. Even
though my daughter still found my hospital room a little scary
when she came to see her new baby brother, I think it would have
been much harder on her if she had never seen the hospital or a
hospital room before. My daughter's favorite part was the large
selection of books on having a baby brother or sister, and the
snack at the end. :)
Stephanie
Hi -- we didn't take the sibling preparation class with our then
almost-3-yr-old girl, but what we did instead was take her on the
hospital tour. I think that was enough really -- we did bring
stickers for her to play with during the intro. piece when
everyone is gathered in one meeting room, but then she got to see
the room ''where the baby will be born'', the nursery, etc. We did
consider the class but just never got around to it--the tour
seemed like just the right amount of info, besides reading some
''here comes baby'' type books at home.
suzanne
Our daughter took the class before her sister was born and it
was helpful for her to play with the babydoll and look around
the hospital. However, and this is a big however, she was 4 at
the time and was able to attend to/pay attention. There were a
few smaller children, 1 1/2 to 2 1/2, who seemed to find it hard
to sit still and pay attention and did not seem to be very
interested. It's hard to say, though...but you did mention that
your 2 yr. old is very distractable. I have a two year old
myself and cannot imagine her sitting still and paying attention
to the class, buy she may get something from it (familiarity
with the hospital, the concept of a baby coming??). Good luck!
MK
We took the prep class with our 4 1/2 yr old son and found it
helpful and sweet. I don't think it would be overwhelming, it
didn't feel like they packed in a lot. The tour of the labor
floor was great. Plus, the goodies they get to walk away with
are worth it (our son got a ''bed'' and blanket, baby toy for the
new baby, bottle to feed stuffed animal with, etc). Very cute.
We also took pictures and will use it for both of their albums.
Wendy
My daughter was 3 when she took the Alta Bates sibling prep
class, and had a fairly long attention span at that time. Her
friend, a boy, also attended with his parents, when he was
about 3.5, and he did fine (our two kids were together). I
would check in with ABMC to specifically ask them. I would
think they'd give you an honest answer about whether a 2-year
old would get something from it. Since that class was now
about 8 years ago for us, It's hard to remember a lot about it,
but the siblings still remember it a bit--diapering a doll,
etc. I remember they talked about if you're mad at the baby,
to hit a pillow or stuffed animal or tell your parents, just
don't hit the baby. It seemed to be age appropriate for our
kids, but I don't know about a 2-year old. I was glad we did
it.
Diane
We did the sibling class with our (then) 3-year-old. It was
interactive enough and tolerent enough to handle a range of
kids. Nothing will *really* prepare a sibling for sharing your
time but this was good in that she saw what a newborn looks like
and what the hospital looked like.
John
We took our daughter to the sibling class in June but she was
almost 3 (turned 3 in August). She was the youngest child there
but she loved the class. I don't know if it was the class or
her excitement for a little brother but she knew the routine by
the time we went to the hospital. It was also a nice refresher
for us to go through the hospital.
Jamie
We took this class with our 2 and 1/2 year old. Did it make a
difference? I don't know, but it didn't hurt. They have a
special 2 yr old sibling class. It helps them set expectaions
(they show them newborns in the nursery.) They get to see a
room where they will see mom and the new baby. I thought it was
helpful that they went over not putting anything in the baby's
mouth and what belly buttons are for and that kind of thing. It
helped that this information wasn't coming from me, and so it
was just a fact not mom telling her not to pick up the baby. My
daughter also seemed to like being special by having a class
just for her to be a big sister. I wasn't immediately impressed
with the class right afterward, but in retrospect I think it was
great for the whole family. If I was doing it all over again, I
would do the class again.
anon
I would like to recommend this class. I took my three year old
daughter to this class to introduce her to the idea how special
it is to be a big sister/brother. It also showed how parents'
attention will be ''shared''. Books were read, and a short video
was played, and walking tour was scheduled to see the newborns
in the hospital. You are also supposed to bring a doll to class
for diaper changing too (though they may not really change baby
at home yet). It was also helpful to have other children
present. Two years old is a difficult age to understand the
idea sibling, but the positive exposure this class offers would
make an easier transition.
We found the Alta Bates class only moderately useful. An
alternative, or supplement, to the class is to read a good book
such as these two, which I found helpful:
''Keys to Preparing and Caring for Your Second Child'' by Meg
Zweiback (wise Bay Area author, pediatric nurse & UCSF prof)
''Siblings Without Rivalry'' by Faber & Mazlich.
The latter has tips which will be more useful long past the day
that baby #2 arrives, whereas the first book deals more with
psychological and practical preparations for the family's
newcomer, with an emphasis on the early days. Both are gems.
I'll also pass along some useful advice from a friend, who
suggested to me that I help my eldest cope with all the attention
her baby sister was going to get by:
- reminding visiting friends to include the eldest in their
attention (many of them wisely brought ''big sister'' presents)
- commending the eldest for being such a helpful and caring big
sister, while at the same time remembering that she still has a
right to feel like a small person who needs a cuddle from her
parents
- making a point of saying to the baby (this is for dramatic
effect) ''I'll change your diaper in just a moment, but first I
have to finish reading this book with your big sister'' so that the
eldest doesn't always feel that her needs are postponed for the
baby, but never the other way around...
- pointing out to the eldest how much the baby adores her - ''see
how she smiles when she sees you? she really loves you'' - this
did more to warm her heart toward the little intruder than
anything...
Best wishes,
Natasha
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