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We're struggling with a 5 year old who is testing limits like crazy,
at home and at school. She's bright, very verbal, and can derail an
activity she doesn't want to engage with (including in her classroom)
like nobody's business. Right now there's way too much yelling and
not enough improvement in the house; my partner and I were both like
this as kids, but we agree that our parents' approach (spanking) is
not OK nor effective. Still, we're trying to figure out what IS ok
and actually works.
I could use some practical support dealing with this, a place to
learn/practice new skills.
Suggestions of a book or a class or group that works on these issues?
I'm with Kaiser, so if you've had experience with any of their
classes, that's an option for me as well.
On my last nerve
Below are some ideas for parenting support of the kind you are asking
about. The Positive Discipline approach might be helpful. You could look
into it with
the book ''Positive Discipline'' by Jane Nelsen. Or if you prefer a
several are offered locally by: Catherine Bronnert, M.A. (510) 847-7578
(CBronnert@gmail.com) in a one-day workshop, or in a weekly series with
Fuller, MSW (lisafullercoaching.com) at (510) 504-2412. Another option
classes in ''How to Talk so Kids will Listen'' for example by Julie King,
www.julieking.org, (415) 939-3553. MarRem Remington, MFT offers parenting
classes, including for parents of kids ''wired differently'' (510)
you are looking to address more specifically how to manage your own
and challenges, and find better ways to parent as well, I offer an
series in Anger & Stress Management for Parents. For more information:
www.yvonnemansell.com, (510) 528-9551.
An easy-read parenting book, which can give you some effective ideas, is:
Secret of Parenting'' by Anthony Wolf, PhD.
Hoping this is helpful to you and other parents having similar struggles.
Yvonne Mansell, MFT
I am currently taking a 6 week class series called Building Emotional
Understanding with a nonprofit called Hand in Hand parenting. The class
builds parenting skills and also provides support. I love their
approach and it really does work (my daughter is a little younger than
yours - 3.5 yrs, but others in the class have children 5yrs and up.)
Check out their website: http://www.handinhandparenting.org. I'm pretty
sure there are more classes & workshops in the Berkeley area coming up.
Please email me if you want more info, or want me to ask the teacher
about local events.
I would like to recommend the books Parenting from the Inside Out by Dan
and Raising and Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman, and Setting
Limits with your Strong-Willed Child by Robert MacKenzie. All of them are
HI - Can anyone recommend parenting classes in or around the South Bay?
I have a 14 month old and both my husband and I have no clue what to do
as far as discipline goes. We would like to take some classes and
improve our parenting skills altogether. Thanks in advance!
My husband and I used to live in Palo Alto and San Jose and
took parenting classes at Parents Place in downtown Palo
Alto. We really loved them topics and we even used them for
individual ''counseling.'' Parents Place has a resource
library and they are so open and helpful. They even have a
drop-in infant/toddler playtime on Tuesday and Thursday
mornings, I believe. The staff is extremely knowledgeable
and greatly helped us with our son, who has sensory issues.
We love them! The website is: http://www.parentsplaceonline.org/peninsula
are associated with Jewish Family and Children's Services,
they are open to the entire community. I highly recommend them!
I assume you are looking for a class for new parents. I liked teh Infant
CPR/ First Aid class I took with http://inhomecpr.com/
The organization is in south bay, and it's my favorite way of looking at
things as a parent-staying connected with your child, with an emotionally-
healthy approach to discipline, not permissive, not threat-based either.
It's what I try to strive for, though I try to forgive myself for my
We're all muddling through!
Does anyone know where my husband and I can take a parenting
class? What we really need is couples therapy but he is
stubborn, defensive, and totally shut down about going.
(We've been before, years ago, before we became parents
together and it helped, but we need more now.)He doesn't
read any of the parenting books I've tried to share with him
and at this point feels like he can't do anything right, and
I'm certain our conflicts are affecting our 4 year old son
and I'm really worried about this. He is open to parenting
classes however which I think is great, except I don't know
where these are offerred. Oviously, we don't want to be in a
class with parents who just had a baby -- we are older
parents (in our 40's) with a four year old. Money is
extremely tight so we can't go to one of those $$$ weekend
workshops. Suggestions anyone? We live in the East Bay
Thanks in advance. Anon
Bananas has a group parenting class on Wednesday, March 3,
7:00 pm to 8:30 pm Living With Threes And Fours Meg Zweiback
returns to Bananas to address the questions and concerns of
parents of three and four year olds. Learn how to encourage
and preserve the spontaneity and curiosity of this
delightful age group while teaching them to cooperate.
Limited child care is available for this workshop. The fee
is $5 per child. Please call 510-658-7353 to register.
Note: If this class is not suited for you or you want one
on one classes call Meg Zweiback directly 510-836-1450. She
is a specialist in all parent/child issues and she is
wonderful with children. oakland parent
Hi There -
I know this story well, because it was my own. You must take
a look at Hand In Hand Parenting. It saved my family and I
highly recommend it. Unfortunately, it is on the pricey
side, but I cannot explain how much it is worth it. They
offer a class called Building Emotional Understanding, which
is the beginning class they offer and the one I took was in
Albany, close to your area. It focuses on their philosophy
which is called Parenting by Connection, and this includes
ways of both navigating the difficult emotions with
children, but also the difficult emotions held by parents.
They really give space for parents to get things off their
chest that is judgement free, and they offer tools to work
out stuff that parents are carrying that might be affecting
their children. My son is very energetic and was acting out
quite a bit at a time when my partner and I were having a
rough time, and it did wonders. They have been around for
years - my parents took courses with them and used many of
the tools with me, so I have experienced it as both a child
and as a parent. handinhandparenting.org Natalie
Family Paths has parenting classes that could work for you,
although they are in San Leandro. They also have other
resources, like counseling (even over the phone). Here is a
link: http://www.familypaths.org/parenting.php Bananas in
oakland probably has low-cost parenting classes as well:
Bananas, located on Claremont Ave in Oakland. From their
website: '[we] are a non-profit support agency... We provide
free parenting information, workshops ...'
http://www.bananasinc.org/ Looking at their calender, they
have classes such as 'Positive Parenting', 'Living with
Threes and Fours', 'Children with Challenging Behavior' And
if you miss a class, I bet they have a free hand-out or
other referrals. Mom of Two
I am looking for dynamic speakers and or workshop leaders for my
daughter's elementary school PTO. We would be interested in people
who can address different parenting topics including, but not limited
to: discipline, creativity, motivation, cultural issues (we have a
large latino population), study skills, nutrition, emotioanl health,
specific educational topics, etc. These would largely be for the
parents, but we could consider something to include the kids.
The speakers may be educators, counselor's, advocates... Right now we
are pretty open as we are just beginning to research
Funds are tight, but the group can pay a fee.
Check out Julie King on positive parenting. She does workshops
and will definitely work with you to arrange for a group class.
This would be more feasible, if you either had a chunk of time
in a given day, or would like to work with somebody over the
course of about 4 weeks. www.julieking.org
or Meg Zweiback R.N. (510) 836-1450 - on almost anything
developmental related, be it sleep training, potty training,
terrible twos/threes/fours etc. Her classes could be a one time
thing for just a couple hours on a very specific subject. Ask
about it, she probably has some answers just about anything that
might be challenging for parents.
Both are awesome! I highly recommend them to any parent who ends
up at the end of their wits - and who doesn't.
Check them both out.
Looking for a recommendation for a successful parent/child
communication/behavior class. That perhaps would focus on boys? The
listings on BBN are outdated. Thanks!
Julie King offers workshops for the public or you can also help put together a
group if you didn't see a workshop that works for your schedule. I was in two
different groups of Julie's - both were excellent! Her workshops are helpful
and thought-provoking and provide the guidance my husband and I were in need
Julie King, Parent Educator (contact information: 415-939-3553,
I highly recommend Julie King's parenting classes. She teaches various classes
based on the Faber and Mazlish books ''How to Talk so Kids will Listen and
Listen so Kids will Talk'' and ''Sibling Rivalry''. I took her 4-week ''How to
talk'' series and learned so much - both from Julie with her extensive
experience parenting and coaching parents and from the fellow participants.
Since there was no current class happening in Berkeley, Julie agreed to offer
one if I could find enough participants. I found enough parents of 2-year-olds
that we were lucky to have a class that focused specifically on the challenges
of age 2-3 while also learning techniques that will be useful for the years
For more information, see www.julieking.org or call (415)939-3553.
I would recommend the How to Talk so Kids Will Listen class led by Julie King.
It's based on the book 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will
talk.' I got some good ideas and learned new techniques. It's great for when
your creativity is stretched thin and you need some new strategy. I found the
techniques straight forward and effective. You can find out more about her at
I've been order by court to attend co-parenting classes. Does anyone know of a place,
website, approximately prices, and/or has had experience in such class?
try Kaiser. Rona Renner's classes at Richmond Kaiser are very good. And they are
attended by a variety of people including those who are mandated to attend. When I went
a few years ago, the class series was free, even if you were not a Kaiser member.
I'm looking for a good parenting class for me and my husband to
attend. We have a very exuberant three year old daughter who
gives us a run for our money. I want very much to avoid spanking,
as I think it teaches all the wrong lessons, but I find myself so
frustrated sometimes that I show anger, which isn't helpful
either. My husband, on the other hand, has a real challenge being
firm, even though he thinks limits ought to be set. He just
doesn't have the skills to do it.
Evenings work best, not to expensive preferred. Also, a program
more than a few weeks long would be too difficult.
Hi Lori, are you familiar w/ Gordon Neufeld and his book Hold On
To Your Kids? He is a Canadian author and family psychologist. I read his book awhile back and loved it,
then recently found out
that a couple in Marin offer workshops based on his book. Dr.
Neufeld will lead a workshop over a weekend in March. Here is a
link describing the class http://www.transformativeparenting.com/power_to_parent_weekend.shtml
You can also find more information re Dr. Neufeld by googling his
name or doing a search on Amazon or amazon.ca for his book.
I agree that as parents you have to demonstrate a source of
authority that relies not on spanking, but connection and the
parents' own centeredness and self-assuredness. I think if you
have to spank a child to make them do what you want, you
ultimately have little instrinsic influence or connection w/ them.
I have been attending classes with an amazing teacher here in the East Bay. Her name is SHARON ELLISON
and she has deconstructed modern conversational style to help give detailed instructions on how to
communicate clearly, but non- arguementatively. She started her career 30 years ago teaching parents of
at-risk youth parenting skills, and has branched out from there. She has classes directly related to
parenting, more general ones, and practice sessions. She is very accessible by email, and will respond to
any questions. She also has scheduled classes when there's enough expressed interest, so if you don't see
what you're looking for, you may want to email her. Her book is fabulous, and I don't know a person who
has read it that didn't love it. Here's her website. Her classes are in Rockridge.
Try the parenting classes offered at Kaiser. You do not need to
be a member and I believe the classes are free. We took the
class with Rona at Kaiser Richmond. There were other couples
there and it was helpful
Jill Schugart does parenting classes. She's really great. She does private councelling and groups. She
helped our family a few years ago when we were in need of outside input.
I don't have her number but I know she's in the phone book. He office is off of Solano ave.
Try Bananas. Meg Zweiback, who is a great teacher, holds classes there almost every month on dealing
with specific age groups. I've gone to a few, and have found them quite helpful. I believe she also has
a private practice, so if you need more specific help, she can meet with you one on one. Kim
I'm looking for a parenting class/facilitated support group that
deals with difficult behavior in a preschooler. The
recommendations on the website seemed a bit dated, so I thought
I'd see if anyone had taken a class recently and found it
useful. I'm not looking for a one-on-one situation with a
therapist (already done that), but more of a class that focuses
on techniques and getting immediate results. My son is 4-years
old and I'm losing my ability to control him. He often screams,
runs around the house, throws objects, slams doors, wets his
pants and generally does things purposefully to aggravate me.
His pediatrician says he does not have ADHD or any other
physiological disorder, but has behaviorial issues, with me, in
particular. His issues are presenting a great strain on the
entire family, so we need to figure out how to address them as
soon as possible. Thanks in advance for any suggestions.
Here is a list of Parenting Classes in the area.
Jill Shugart recently started doing some classes which are receiving
excellent feedback. They are entitled ''How Imperfect Parents Raise
Jillshug AT aol.com
She is also an excellent resource for getting individual perspective on
parenting and your child. She has directed Pre Schools for years and is
a very good Individual and Couple therapist.
Parenting the Spirited Child
From: Mary (Feb 1998)
While reading the request from "anonymous" for a counselor for her
four-year-old, I thought this was a good time to report on a class I've
been taking in "parenting the spirited child." It's been taught through
Bananas and Kaiser together and is led by a nurse and a child-psychologist
from Kaiser. They are both very nice, the pschologist, Helen Neville, has
spoken on campus to a parent's group and is really VERY experienced with
I'd suggest calling Kaiser and asking for Helen's number and either see her
or get a referral through her. I know she's having back surgery next Wed.
so she might not call back instantly ... but she's really very good.
The class, I might add, will be held again in April and is EXCELLENT. For
all you parents of spirited kids out there, this workshop is full of ideas,
role-plays, handouts, practical strategies ... and just plain support.
Various Private Classes
You can get answers to all those questions through a re-directing child's
behavior class (based on Dreikur's work). There's one given by Kris Murray, in
Alameda (she runs a preschool there), which is really, really good. I took it
last year and my daughter is currently enrolled in the preschool. Kris has an
amazing way with children
and with parents.
Her number is 510-521-6752.
We're taking a class now with Barbara Hornsleth-Croizat, 510-526-0068. The
first session (4 2-hour classes) is based on Positive Discipline, and the second
is based on How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. She
also does monthly support groups for reinforcement after the classes have ended.
I wouldn't say she's an extraordinary teacher, but she seems to really know her
stuff and the class has already been a big help to us (we've been to 2 classes
so far). It's really helped my husband and I get on the same game plan. When
we're in the middle of a conflict with our son, we can refer to the tools we've
learned in shorthand (e.g., let's try problem-solving), which both helps us
solve the conflict with our son and prevents us from arguing about how to go
about it. Good luck.
I've gone to Barbara Hornsleith Croizat's classes and found them
indispensable. She bases the classes on the philosophy of the book Positive
Discipline. She's located in the Berkeley Hills and is listed in the phone
I have a recommendation on a great
parenting class. It is called Redirecting Children's Behavior and was taught by
Kristine Murray of Alameda. Her number is 510-521-6752. In addition to teach this
course she runs a small preschool at her home in Alameda. I think it is a six week
course. It was great and has help my husband and myself tremendously in both dealing
with our child as well as talking to each other about how we want to raise our child.
A synopsis of the course is as follows:
"Children create a tremendous challenge for adults. Effective strategies for today's
adult/child relationships can make parenting a lot more fun. More than communication
training, the Redirecting Children's Behavior (RCB) course contains over 100 parenting
methods for improving behavior while enhancing your child's self-esteem..."
More Info can be found on the following website from the International Network for
Children and Family:
BergaHoo Family (Sept 2001)
Leah Statman offers "Respectful Parenting" classes and can be reached at
525-5080. She has an MFCC, but draws alot on per personal experience raising 3
very different children. The group setting was very helpful as the problems
brought to class were often the issue that arose down the road in our family.
I took Leah's Respectful Parenting class 3 years ago and found it be very
helpful, although somewhat expensive. Her methodology includes lecture,
discussion, problem solving, role playing, and even some good suggestions for
diet and body work. She draws extensively on her own experiences as the mom of
3 very different children and obviously has thought long and hard about the work
she brings to classes. I wished my partner had also taken the class and would
encourage both parents to try take it together.
Parenting Classes vs. Birthing Classes
From: Dianna (1/99)
Just wanted to quickly respond to the Dad who gave the very thoughtful
response about the
somewhat careless Dad. I'm a single mother, but
I agreed with much that this Dad had to say, especially about the
need for parenting classes.
When I was pregnant I attended an 8 session set of classes Alta Bates
ran for Mommies and Daddies to be. 7 of the sessions were on the
birth experience and various possible happenings and 1 was on how
to actually care for the baby once you had it. I thought at the time
and thought much more strongly once I had my son that it would have
been better had the ratio been reversed. Drugs or no drugs, lying down
or squatting, natural or C-section, one way or another you get through
the birth, usually in just one or two days. Then you have this kid
on your hands for at least 18 years (more, really).
Since smaller families are common now, many of us have never had to interact
with a newborn, other than to say, "Oh, how cute," before. Add to
that the awesome responsibility of being a parent and making life
and death decisions which affect your child and I think most of
us could use a little extra help. I suppose that there are parenting
classes around if one looks for them, but I think that these should
be the norm, something that everyone takes, along with the Lamaze
STEP, which was mentioned by the people looking for parenting classes,
stands for Systematic Training for Effective Parenting. It is simply
*excellent* and I wish I had taken it long ago at the beginning of my
parenting experience. Any effective parenting requires work and usually
the un-learning of parenting styles of which we were recipients. The basic
theories of STEP make wonderful sense. They also have a different book and
course for parents of teens. The course includes audio tapes of
conversations between parents and children which makes it easy to see the
impact of tone of voice on communications. Check with your local school
district or neighboring ones for STEP classes offered in the adult school
programs. STEP really works.
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