Our Discussions
Live-in Nanny
1 (a mother)
Hi - I thought I'd provide my experiences fyi. When our son was 10
months old, we hired a live-in nanny who was mexican. She was 18, spoke
little english and came from a family of 14 (she was the 2nd to eldest
sibling). We knew her uncle who worked as janitor at my husband's work. She
stayed with us for 2-1/2 years when she married. We still keep in touch and
have a close kinship. She had extremely high morality which was of upmost
importance to me. She was absolutely a wonderful nanny and provided a very
loving atmosphere, safe and secure for our son. At one point I had him going
to preschool 2 days a week - she would walk him there and pick him up.
When she left - we hired an Iranian woman (not live-in) to watch him 3 days a
week. We had placed an ad in a local iranian publication (received many
phone calls from desparate people) - I wouldn't suggest an ad is the way to
go. I was excited about having him with a farsi speaking person and my
husband felt that an Iranian would be more trust-worthy. I have to admit
that we didn't check any references - but rather became acquainted with her
friends, history, etc. (she was 40 years old). She was with us for a little
over 6 months. Unfortuantely she was a very battered woman, abused and
influenced by her friends who had no regard for morals, honesty or humanity.
The facts are extremely weird and disconcerting which I won't get into. We
fired her after she came home with our son at 10pm after having visited one
of her friends. There was no note, no phone call or message and she had
already been told several times to not take him anywhere except to designated
places (the park and a neighbor's home). Several times prior she had shown
up at my office with him during the day having taken a bus ride to get there
(she didn't have a car). When she got home on that particular evening - she
couldn't understand why we would be upset. There are so many strange things
that happened, I choose to forget that they were real and part of our life.
Chalk it down to a bad experience and we learned a lot, our son's fine.
On the brighter side, I have a friend who had an Iranian woman come to her
home every day to babysit, etc. The woman was in her 50's and a grandma
type. It was a wonderful match. The woman was able to put her extra time to
good use and my friend was grateful for the cultural influence.
Good luck - I've been there, done that - it's not easy!
Please send
your replies and/or opinions regarding this subject to
madar-pedar@surya.eecs.berkeley.edu.
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