Our Discussions

Gay/Lesbian Children

1 (a pedar)

I wonder if there are more comments abuot the issue of guy/lesbian children on your site?

Ba taskakkor

2 (a madar) I am very intrigued to see that enthusiast outspoken Iranian spirit comes to silence when this subject is put on the table. I also have not much to say about this subject and am contemplating it, but just wanted to take this opportunity and point out that as parents we are obligated to educate ourselves beyond our everyday expected routes in order to be able to raise children that are not an extension of us but separate souls and individuals that will make their own impact hopefully quite differently than us and armed with our solid upbringing and support of their cause not ours.

3 (a pedar) The reference below to homosexuality seems to treat the issue as if it is a choice and therefore passionate Iranian parents should not impose their will and desires on their children.

Most gays/lesbians seem to argue that it is NOT a choice and in an individual's nature.

I don't know which is the truth. As the older generation would say "Nemidoonim zAtan injooriyeh yA az doostAsh yAd gerefteh" :-)

If it is the former (a choice), you bet I will work against it (no matter how big the ring :-)

If it is the latter, it is out of our control/influence and thus I will need therapy.

3 (a madar) HI. I am afraid I do have a very strong view about this subject and my view is based on extensive studies on God's holy books and what happened to Aad community as well as studies on researches that have been done about homosexuality. Since in God's system sex is not just for physical pleasure and is only recommended within some kind of perminant commitment(at least the intention should be permenant) in all the scriptures God has approved sexual relation between man and a woman.

But that doesn't mean that I as a submitter to God (any religion since they are really from one source and the inconsistencies are due to tampering God's word not the real message) should be enemy of homosexuals. I just won't support them.

Also the claim or theory that some homosexuals are born naturally is just a theory and is a fifty fifty theory based on the research that has been done so far.

Therefore if my kid is taught wrong about this subject at school I will explain my view with the support of some articles on the scientific research as well as God's command in all the scriptures.

4 (a grown-up pesar) Salam,

As an Iranian gay man, I knew that I was attracted to men as early as age 5. Even though, at that time, I did not know what homosexuality was, I intuitively felt that I must keep my feelings to myself.

To those who believe homosexuality is a choice rather than a natural occurrence, should ask themselves why anyone would set themselves up to be a subject of discrimination and humiliation.

About 10% of the world's population is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Gay men and lesbian women come from all corners of the earth, from every culture, ethnic group and economic level.

Homosexuality, like heterosexuality, in and of itself, is not a mental or emotional disorder. Numerous research studies have indicated that homosexuality is a natural occurrence and not something one chooses to be or not to be. People have no choices in their feelings of affection. The choices are to be open and honest about one^Òs sexual orientation or to be closeted.

Like myself, studies have concluded that gay or lesbian children are often aware of being different at a very early age. They generally become aware of their sexual orientation in primary years, during adolescence or early adulthood.

Approximately one of every four families has a gay member. Rejection of a gay person by his or her family is a tragedy for each person in the immediate and extended family. It causes pain for those who reject as well as those who are rejected.

If I were a parent, I would teach my children that there are different types of love in this world. The important thing is to love and respect and to enjoy a fulfilling relationship whether it to be between couples of the same sex or opposite sex.

Although, I now have the full support and love of my family in adulthood, I wish that I have had it during my childhood. Too bad that I did not realize then that I could have shared my feelings and still retained their love.

To me, there is nothing worse than hiding the truth from yourself or others.

Thanks,

Please send your replies and/or opinions regarding this subject to madar-pedar@surya.eecs.berkeley.edu.

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