Our Gathering Discussions

Gathering report:(by a madar)
We mostly discussed the issue of Gay/Lesbian and how we as persian parents would react if our children were Gay/Lesbian when they reach to their teenage years. In general how would we answer the question of Gay/lesbian to our children. There was two major opinion:
1- Very radical and against the whole issue of Gay/Lesbian. This idea thought we need to direct our children and teach them the issue as being a social sickness or in rare occasions of being physical deficiency. If at an older age, still our children insist on being gay then we have no other choice than accepting it. But, we need to direct them and show them the right way of life.
2- More liberal idea was that: Gay people are no different than others. This is not a sickness and if we look at the history this goes back to centuries ago even in our own culture. We had some examples of poetry in our literature referring to this. This idea was not promoting the idea of gay/lesbian but just accepting it as a fact. We need to let our children know there are different ways of life. Even though gay people are minority and we don't live like that, but we need to accept them as they are. This idea didn't think it would be a disaster if one day we would find out our own children are gay.
This was briefly what we have discussed. It would be nice if other parents on the alias who missed the gathering send their opinions to all and we can open up the discussion to all.

1 (a madar)

I was browsing your site and was pleasantly surprised to see a discussion on sexuality. I was wondering if there are any gay/lesbian parents in your group? If not, is your group all inclusive? The second point in your discussion summary, though liberal, seemed to imply that gays and lesbians live a 'different' life style. Though undoubtedly gays and lesbians have a different set of prejudices to deal with, e.g., types of attitudes summarized in point 1 of your discussion summary, I believe they deal with the same life parameters as heterosexuals, especially when it comes to raising children and other important life decisions.

On a different note, do you have a chapter in San Francisco?

Thank you for your time,


2 (soheila)


Madar-Pedar is open to all Iranian and half-Iranian families. There is no moderator for our discussions and I act as the listkeepr, i.e., remove and add names to our mailing list. Please let me know if you would like to join our mailing list.

When you become a member, if you provide some info about your family such as nationality, children's age (and name), geographical location, cultural and social interests, child-rearing concerns, etc. , then you will receive a file that has similar info about some other parents in the group. This is meant to facilitate off-line networking among parents and is optional and you could use it to start the San Francisco chapter of madar-pedar:)


3 (a madar)

I am a parent who talked about transsexuality, which is somehow related to sexual orientation.

I raised this issue because I have a transsexual daughter and I would like people to know more about this issue since I feel in this way I can create a safer place for my child to live in.

Of course.There is no difference between heterosexuals and homosexuals as there is no difference between people who are blond and those who are darker in anything but the color of their skins or hair.

Please send your replies and/or opinions regarding this subject to madar-pedar@surya.eecs.berkeley.edu.

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