Book Recommendation by Madar-Pedar Members


a madar (about Children and Sexuality)

We have had discussions about children and sexuality. I must say that I have been raised in a very conservative environment and have a relatively conservative mind set with respect to sexuality. I found it difficult to talk to my children about it and was afraid of their questions or cases that I would be unprepared for... I recently read an interesting book that helped me understand some issues with respect to this topic, sexuality, and prepare myself to answer my children's questions. Now I am much more at ease with my children's questions and don't feel unprepared anymore.

title: From Diapers to Dating A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children
by: Debra W. Haffner
(got it via Amazon.com)

two main points from this book:

1- Sexuality is not only about sexual behavior. It is about many things such as Society and Culture (gender roles, law,...), Personal Skills (values, decision making, ...), Relationships, Human Anatomy and Development, and ... and Sexual Behavior.

2- Parents need to have a well-defined frame of values that they want to pass to their children, and then they will find it easy to communicate with their children.

The book does not push a specific set of values, but leaves it to parents to decide. (The author shares her own values throughout the book as examples. Interestingly, I found her values not far from mine.) Once we decide on our values, things get easier... I think that living in a society different from where we were raised, has caused some confusions about our values. Reading this book helped me better understand my values (it has a set of questions for you to answer with respect to different issues that you face as your child grows).

The book helped me define my values for myself (without guiding me to decide), and I feel better prepared to talk to my children about my values.


Please send your replies and/or opinions regarding this subject to madar-pedar@surya.eecs.berkeley.edu.

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