Our Discussions

Are Iranian Men Abusive?
1 ( a web visitor)

i believe this story has a lot of truth to it. i do not agree with the categorizing of iranian males as abusive but in a lot of cases it's true. whether or not betty's story was true, god did help her through the worst times. a lot of people who are angry are muslims but what they don't realize is that what is normal to them is different to us and visa versa. (refering to Not Without My Daughter )

2 ( a madar)

being abusive is not normal to "Muslims" as you put it

as I said before unfortunately there are abusive husbands all over the world specially here in America, that is why we have so many shelters for buttered women and children

But I would not go as far as saying being abusive is normal to Americans or Christians

Try not to generalize it would eliminate prejudice

3 ( a madar)

I agree with Madar#2. Generalizing any religion or ethnic group is prejudice. There are many abusive husbands and boyfriends here in the US. Just couple of days ago an abusive boyfriend killed his girlfriend here in the Bay Area. Does this mean all Americans or who ever lives in the Bay Area is abusive? Being abusive has nothing to do with being Muslim, Christian, Iranian or American. God didn't help Betty, but the same abusive Iranian/Muslim men helped her. I will recommend you reading more about this issue and educating yourself and others.

4 ( a mother)

I just wanted to chime in on this -- I am sure Madar#2 did not mean that "especially here in America" we have so many abusive men. I want to point out that there are probably the same number of abusive people in every country of the world -- the difference in America is that we have laws and organizations which help people who are victims of abuse and therefore it is apparent to us (we see news reports--people talk about it). I am not sure this exists everywhere. And the level of tolerance is different--- in some countries it's acceptable for a man to beat his wife. In the U.S., it is not acceptable to the general population although in the "culture" of some dysfunctional families it goes on and on through the generations. We still have a long way to go even in this country to help people get out of abusive situations.

5 ( a madar)

I agree with Mother#4.

Even in this country which is not acceptable there are many abuse woman from all different religion, cultures and incomes. As Laura point it out we have a long way to go to help people to get out of abusive situations.

I don't even know if people are aware of this problem at high school level.

6 ( a madar)


What do you mean by "this problem at high school level?"

7 ( Madar#2)

Thank You Mother#4 for correcting me. You are right I did not mean that we have more abusive men in America

We have more shelters in America

8 ( Madar#2)

(refering to question by Madar#6) There was even a documentary about high School girls being abused by their boyfriends

9 ( Madar#5)

Through my BPW group I get a lots information about violance against women. You can contact your local woman shelter and get more information. I don't have anything that is already typed that I could send you. But I keep it in mine if I come a cross something, I will e-mail it to you.

Please send your replies and/or opinions regarding this subject to madar-pedar@surya.eecs.berkeley.edu. Do not forget to include the topic in the subject line.

Back to madar-pedar