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Letters to the BPN Moderators
Re: My wife is rejecting me 6 out of 7 days
to which "An Opinionated Hooker" replied:
"This is as much a heads-up to the many moms who post about their
reduced sex drive as well as a specific reply
... I'm paid for sex and companionship by men from 25 to
65, mostly married, whose wives can't or won't engage in intimate
relations ... In my opinion, if a woman is not willing to address ...
the underlying problems in a marriage, then (if divorce is out of the
question) you as the husband are justified in discreetly
''supplementing'' your sexual needs with other women while your
wife keeps her head in the sand." [excepted - see link above]
WOW! I am sure there is going to be an explosion of postings
from ''the opinionated hooker's'' comments.
It sounded like you are boastful of the fact that you get paid
to sleep with other people's husbands.
Thanks for the 'head's up' but the grass is always greener on
the other side. I bet you, if you were married your husband
would be indulging in the same activities outside of marriage
regardless of how much you 'authentically' enjoy sex.
Well, enjoy and save up while you can, sweetheart!
Was that advertisement????
I am totally shocked that more people did not have a response to
the ''opinionated hooker'' posting. In fact, I have been
questioning why this snippet was not edited out of the BPN advice
page altogether. This is, after all, a PARENTING site... I have
no real issue with women who work as prostitutes for whatever
reason. However, I do think that the posting was overtly
aggressive and threatening, suggesting that we all need to look
over our shoulders to see who might be pleasuring our husbands on
the side, a professional or otherwise. It was so ludicrous and
inappropriate that I forwarded it on to my husband and young moms
I know locally, who all had similar reactions. As another recent
response suggested, I also felt that it was a very obvious
attempt at self-promotion. Please take it elsewhere. We come here
for constructive advice and information.
We did receive one other inquiry about that particular posting.
We don't have a policy limiting postings about sex, and from the
feedback we get from subscribers, people find these discussions
interesting and useful. We hear that people often forward them to
friends and family. The questions about sex can get racy at times
and may not be to the moderator's personal taste, but people tell us
they appreciate having a place where such things can be discussed.
We do allow people to express their opinions as long as they follow BPN
policies, which are on the website. This includes "minority" opinions
that many or most BPN subscribers may not agree with.
Regarding BPN moderators censoring messages: We do try to prevent
people from using profanity but in general we do not edit or censor
messages as long as they follow BPN policy, which is on the website.
We do our best to apply these policies fairly, and we try to let
people know when their posting does not meet policy.
We do not accept comments about other members or criticisms of
others' opinions, per http://parents.berkeley.edu/FAQ/advice.html#opinion
However, we do accept comments like this one about the policies we
use for the newsletters, and we will publish them under the heading
"Letters to the Advice Moderator".
Ginger, BPN Moderator
I too was shocked that post was let through, and i'm an openminded
person. But the bottom line for me is that I would have no other
access to such an opinion in my regular life. The anonymity and broad
scope provided by BPN challenges my viewpoints and behavior regularly,
along with showing me the vast array of perspectives that our real
society has - not just what people say when they're being polite.
Though I may not have LIKED what that woman had to say, I was very
glad to be able to read it. Information is a good thing.
Since you received a letter criticizing the decision to run the
post from the self-styled ''hooker,'' I just wanted to weigh in and
say I found the original post fascinating and a good example of
what's so cool about the BPN: you get to hear from voices to
which you might never otherwise be exposed. Truly a diverse
community! I thought it was pretty amusing that the person who
found it so offensive chose to forward it to her husband. Anyway,
keep up the good work, Ginger!
MUCH appreciated your response to "totally shocked" who signed
themselves "anon" under the heading "letters to the advice
moderator". i wanted to post this so it would be published but
the "advice digest" board i found was only including topics from
october 31 and earlier newsletters, not this one from nov. 8,
hence this topic was not on it.
in any case, please keep on keepin' on, ginger. here's one voice
seconding your policy (and probably your own personal feelings as
well) to maintain true freedom of speech, especially in cases
like this where it may seem difficult or even harmful to some to
In response previous letter regarding the "opinionated
hooker" who had something to say about realistic
expectations about sex, I totally agree that she had
every right (according to the BPN rules) to respond,
state her professional opinion, etc. I even believe
that prostitution should be legalized. HOWEVER, as I
recall, there wasn't really any advice given in regard
to the husband who wrote asking for advice. I agree
with the previous writers who believe this woman to be
a self-promoting businesswoman. I'm not asking you to
change any policies, but I hope that the "op'd hooker"
will reflect on her reasons for writing her response.
I'm annoyed when I find anyone who is trying to sell
something under the pretense of "giving advice."
Please just keep an eye out (even though it probably
won't come up again.)
this page was last updated: Apr 28, 2007
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