UCB Parents Jokes & Quotes:
When I'm Old

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I'll live with my children and bring them great joy
and repay all I've had from each girl and boy.
I will draw on the walls and scuff up the floor,
run in and run out without closing the door.
I'll hide frogs in the pantry, socks under my bed.
Whenever they scold me, I'll hang my head.
I'll run and I'll romp, always fritter away
the time to be spent doing chores every day.
I'll pester my children when they're on the phone.
As long as they're busy I won't leave them alone.
Hide candy in closets, rocks in a drawer,
and never pick up my clothes from the floor.
Dash off to the movies and not wash a dish.
I'll plead for allowance whenever I wish.
I'll stuff up the plumbing and deluge the floor.
As soon as they've mopped it I'll flood it some more.
When they correct me, I'll lie down and cry,
kicking and screaming, not a tear in my eye.
I'll take all their pencils and flashlights and then
when they a buy new one, I'll take them again.
I'll spill glasses of milk to finish each meal,
eat my banana and just drop the peel.
Put toys on the table, spill jam on the floor.
I'll break lots of dishes as though I were four.
What fun I shall have, what joy it will be to
live with my children the way they lived with me!

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The opinions and statements expressed on this page are those of parents who belong to the UC Berkeley Parents Network and should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the University of California, Berkeley.