UCB Parents Jokes & Quotes:
Kids on Love

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     Kids' advice on Love 
     Questions concerning love and wisdom were posed to a group of children 
     ages 5 to 10)
     
      WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? 
     
     "Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and 
     you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 
     8) 
     
     "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."  
     (Tommy, 5) 
     
     WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? 
     
     "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually 
     gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10) 
     
     
     WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? 
     
     "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her 
     a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the 
     wedding." (Jim,10) 
     
     "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if 
     anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to 
     try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)  

     
     
     THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? 
     
     "It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need  
     somebody to clean up after them." (Lynette, 9) 
     
     "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I 
     don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7) 
     
     
     CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE: 
     
     "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do  
     with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." 
     (Jan, 9) 
     
     "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but 
     the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)  ON WHAT 
     
     
     FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE: 
     
     "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9) 
     
     "If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want 
     to do it. It takes too long to learn." (Leo, 7) 
     
     
     ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE AND ROMANCE: 
     
     "If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, 
     it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8) 
     
     "It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like 
     anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7) 
     
     "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a longtime." 
     (Christine, 9) 
     
     
     CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS: 
     
     "They want to make sure their rings don't fall off, because they paid 
     good money for them." (David, 8) 
     
     
     CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE: 
     
     "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when The Simpsons 
     are on TV." (Anita, 6) 
     
     "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been 
     trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding 
     me." (Bobby, 8) 
     
     "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard  
     enough." (Regina, 10) 
     
     
     PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER: 
     
     "One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you  
     have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava 8) 
     
     
     SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU: 
     
     "Tell them you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6) 
     
     "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get 
     attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9) 
     
     "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she 
     likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9) 
     
     
     HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN 
     LOVE? 
     
     "Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if 
     he's in love." (John, 9) 
     
     "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get 
     cold. Other people care more about the food," (Brad, 8) 
     
     "It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They 
     like to order those because it's just like their hearts are on 
     fire."(Christine, 9) 
     
     
     WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU": 
     
     "The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he 
     showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9) 
     
     
     HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS: 
     
     "You learn it right on the spot, when the gushy feelings get the best 
     of you." (Doug, 7) 
     
     "It might help if you watched soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)
     
     
     WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? 
     
     "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over 
     you...that's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10) 
     
     
     HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE: 
     
     "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tommy, 7) 
     
     "Don't forget your wife's name...that will mess up the love." 
     (Roger,8)
     
     "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take 
     the trash out." (Randy, 8)



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