Headbanging
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July 2007
I'm hoping that someone can give me some guidance here: my nephew
has begun to bang his head on the crib when he is ready to come
out of his crib, doesn't want to take his nap, is finished taking
his nap, trying to get to sleep etc. Also, he hits himself on
the top of his head when he's a bit frustrated (wants to do
something, but is not allowed to). Both behaviors are concerning
to his parents (it is his head after all). I'm more concerned
about the parents getting through this (they are distressed) than
I am about my nephew. My sister is wondering if the head hitting
is related to the fact that he's teething. Has anyone else
experienced this at all?
Thanks,
Aunt concerned about parents
I apparently did this as a kid. I don't remember, but my
parents talk about it and how stressful it was. I am fine and
as normal as a person can be. My mom thinks it was that I
could not verbally communicate all that I wanted to say and
that when I was able to articulate better I stopped banging my
head. I would tell them no to worry too much, I think it's
pretty common and skulls are strong.
C
It is the epitome of normal for this age. I just came from my
son's pediatrician last week (my son is 16.5 months) and he
does it sometimes too, just to get us to tell him to stop it, I
think, hahaha. She told us it's normal, and when he did it on
the door of the exam room, she smiled at him and said,''He'll
stop when it starts to hurt,'' and he did. Tell your nephews
parents it's no biggie.
Bridget
May 2007
My almost 14 month old daughter bangs her head on the ground when (I
think) she is frustrated or tired. I always pick her right up and tell
her not to do that becuase it hurts her and she calms down. Is there
anything more I should be doing? Is this normal? Should I be worried?
Thanks for the help. anon
I was a major head banging toddler, according to my parents. For
whatever reason I
cant possibly recall now, it was something I enjoyed, as well as a way
to get my
frustrations out. My son does it, too, as a toddler. I don't worry about
his behavior
because I know that I was the same way. They grow out of it. She won't
bang her
head so hard that she'll actually hurt herself in any real way. Its
definitely a ''self-
limiting'' behavior.
Jenny
Our son was a headbanger starting at around 13 months, and
stopping at about 2 and a half. It was terrifying, especially
because it accompanied night terrors and tantrums that
inflicted pain on him and us. Our pediatrician said that before
he could do any actual damage, he would pass out/knock himself
out. In other words, his body would stop him before he broke
his skull. Plus, she advised we try banging our heads (to see
how it works), and we realized that you can get a pretty loud
sound without hurting yourself. We saw that going on more as he
got older. Finally, she recommended Setting Limits and Raising
the Spirited Child, and we saw a lot of our son reflected in
those books. When he would do it, we'd clear a space, try to
stay calm and offer suggestions about his feelings and some
possible solutions. Eventually he outgrew it, but he is still
physically very expressive about his feelings, sometimes in
ways that scare me (he's 3 and a half). I have to remind myself
of the headbanging days and say, ''this too shall pass.''
Andrea
Dec 2003
My 14 month old son hits himself on the head (usually slapping
his palms, but occassionally his fists, on to the top of his
head). He often does this when I'm feeding him at night, so he's
well-ensconsed in my arms and a blanket as we get ready for bed.
When he does it, I usually say ''no, no, no, please don't hurt
your head'', at which point he'll usually stop, then smile
conspiratorially at me, like he's getting away with something.
This makes it hard for me to know what his motivation is here -
if he's just testing my limits or if there is something else
going on? A few times he's hit himself in the face or
purposefully banged his head on something, like a table. He has
no obvious developmental issues, is watched by a loving nanny
during the day (as he has been for the past 10 months) and gets
our undivided attention at night. Has anyone else experienced
this? Is this cause for alarm, or is he just discovering
coordination, strength and testing my limits all at the same
time? Should I just ignore him, as long as it's
relatively 'harmless'? Any insights would be greatly appreciated.
My son used to hit himself on the head too when he was about
your son's age. Does he do it when he's tired? This was the case
with my son, and I think slapping his head was just his way of
releasing some frustration. He is now 19 months old and hardly
ever does it. I wouldn't worry if I were you. Like so many other
bahavior quirks, he'll probably outgrow it -- maybe when he
starts communicating verbally.
Carrie
This is actually quite common in small children, and it's not a
cause for concern as children this age are not strong enough to
hurt themselves.
anon
My 16-month old has also been bonking herself on the head.
Sometimes she does it to re-play an accidental bonk, but
sometimes she does it spontaneously, on the floor or the bed. I
think it's to get attention or to simply test the sensation. I,
too, tell her words to the effect of, ''I love you, please don't
hurt yourself.'' I look forward to seeing what others have to say
on this.
Zoe
January 2007
Our son has taken to banging his head on the wall or floor
occasionally when he seems frustrated or just in usual play.
Has anyone observed this in their toddlers before?
Lois
My daughter had the same habit of banging her head on the floor
or a table when she got frustrated or angry. She would slam her
hands down at the same time for the dramatic effect. She
started this at about 12 months old and it stopped after about
6-7 months. We were not able to get her to stop by any
intervention on my or my husband's part, but she got better
about it when we started to teach her ASL since she had to
learn sign language because her cousin is deaf. We started to
notice that signing helped ease the frustration she felt from
communication problems, but the head banging really started to
taper off when she slammed her head into a marble table at a
restaurant and discovered how much it actually can hurt (much
to her surprise). I spoke to other parents about it and the
ones that had the same problem with their kid(s) said theirs
outgrew it too after time.
Good luck, hope this helps.
A. Brown
My thirteen-month-old occasionally bangs his head, mostly after
accidentally hitting it on something, he'll repeat it and then
kind of realize it hurt! I usually take him away quickly from
whatever surface he was near and give him a little comfort, and
he seems to be getting over it. The ''What to Expect'' book says
this is baby discovering rhythm, if that makes any sense. Try to
change his situation and give him a diversion.
head banger's mom
My son would hit himself on the head when he got really upset and had banged his
head on the wall a few times. We would just stay really calm and sympathetic and
concerned and tell him that that didn't help and offered to hug him. We'd always
validate that 'yes, you're really angry'. I tried suggesting he hit the floor with his hand,
but he never did, and maybe that wasn't the best idea, anyway. He eventually stopped
doing it, but he is always able to tell me 'I'm mad, I'm sad' what ever it is. He's now
almost 3. Good luck!
namastesf
Nov 2008
I actually have a question for a friend and a question for
myself.......My friend has a 17 month old who has recently
started rocking back and forth and banging the back of his
head/back against the wall, crib, doors. It is a new behaviour
but pretty disturbing. Could it be the beginning signs of
autism? She's hoping just a passing phase - obviously.
I have a five year old who sleeps in his own bed but it a real
flip-flopper. At what point should I remove his bedrail in order
for him to adjust to the ''grown-up'' way. At this rate I can see
him still having the rail on at 18 !!! If I place cushions on
the floor will him falling out a few times make him more semi-
conscious and try not to flip-flop as much ? I don't want him to
hurt himself but how long will the rail be best left in place?
Thanking you in advance for any advice or suggestions.
My almost 4-year-old has been rocking his head since he was very
young. It was somewhat worrying, as it looks a bit like autism or
some other abnormality. But he is fine. It was a sure sign he was
tired when he was very young, and now I think he still does it
primarily when he's tired. But he also does it when he's enjoying
listening to music--like rocking out! He does it (and always has)
in his car seat a lot too, often before falling asleep. Now that
he's much bigger, when he does it in the carseat it ''squeaks'',
and he says he has birds in his seat!
Regarding taking off the rail, we did it shortly after two years
old, when it was clear he could climb over if he wanted. The bed
was at the lowest level, so it wasn't that high. But we put
pillows for a while. He does move a bit while sleeping, but not
too dramatically. Occasionally he would fall out, sometimes cry,
or sometimes we'd find him asleep on the floor. It was pretty
rare, and he was never hurt. We got him a ''big boy bed'' at 3
years old and skipped the rail entirely.
Bryan in Oakland
January 2003
My 18 months old boy has taken the habit to tap his head with
his hands or 'bang' it on the floor for no specific reasons. He
does it when he eats, when he plays, but also when he is not
happy and about to throw a tantrum. I want to think that it is
because he is trying to attract our attention but would like to
have comments from other parents whose children have had the
same behaviour. Is it a phase they are going through? I don't
think that he suffers from headackes as he has not shown any
other signs such as being in pain and crying.
Thank you very much for your input - I have been meaning to
write for a while...
Karine
My son (now 2.5 yrs) was a head banger. He started when he was
under a year old and it appeared that he did it out of
frustration or anger or to get attention. He went through
phases with it -- sometimes more and sometimes less -- but it
has pretty much stopped. When he was doing it a lot, I tried to
get him to stop or to at least hit his head on the carpet
instead of the hardwood floor, but to no avail. I don't think
it hurts, but it used to bug me to see faint bruises on his
forehead and to see the funny looks from other parents when he'd
bang his head in public. Reasoning didn't work and neither did
imitating him to show him how silly it was to do it. Try to
ignore it as much as possible while still protecting him from
really hurting himselft. He'll get over it when he can either
move around better and/or communicate better. My son doesn't
bang his head anymore, but when he's mad, he'll drop down to his
hands and knees and rest his forehead on the floor like he's
going to bang it.
Good luck!
My son (now 15 1/2 years old) was a head banger as a toddler. I
don't remember the exact age, but I think he was around 2 years
old. He would bang his head on the floor, ground, table, etc.
when he was frustrated. At first we reacted to this behavior
but soon saw that it was better to ignore it. I distinctly
remember one time where he did it at a softball game on the
asphalt and made his head bleed. The doctor said the only thing
we could do at the time was to make him wear a helmet, which was
not possible. He out grew it in about 6 months as he was better
able to handle his frustrations. He is now a thriving honor
role, all league athlete at a college prep high school. So there
was no lasting damage. At the time it freaked us out, but now we
look back on it as a great story to tell about him and his ''hard''
head. My advice would be to ignore it if possible and remove him
to softer ground (carpet, grass)if necessary and help him if you
can before the frustration level gets to that point. We didn't
do anything specific and he outgrew it eventually.
Hard Heads Mom
My 21 month old has on occasion banged his head on the floor in
frustration. This happens primarily when he doesn't get his
way about something and is usually the final step in a full
demonstration of his anger (he drops to his knees, throws his
hands up and then flings his body at the ground). At first, it
was quite frightening and we worried that he would hurt his
head. And, quite frankly, he did at first. Now (about 10
months since this started) he's more careful about when and
where he does it so I know he's learning to be careful.
While it was frightening at first, I learned to recognize it as
a straightforward tantrum. I remind him to take care of his
head (and move heavy hard things away if possible), but
otherwise let him express his anger. I figure he doesn't have
the words and needs to do what works to relieve his frustration.
I think it's important not to overreact in a way that
encourages the behavior. I figure if I give in every time he
bangs his head, he's pretty quickly going to learn to do that
to get his way. I also try to give the words to his
frustration: ''You're angry because Mom says (fill in blank),
aren't you?'' In time, I hope he uses the words.
Finally, I learned to give up on stuff that doesn't really
matter. For example, if my son ate paper, I let him- as long
as it wasn't important paper or dirty paper. I figured that
pretty soon he'd quit on his own. And, when it came to eating
dirt and sand (my son's favorite snacks), that's exactly what
happened.
Margaret
You might find this BabyCenter article about head banging
in infants and toddlers reassuring:
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlerbehavior/11554.html
--Dana
My son, now 18 months old, went through a period of head
bonking. Like you are experiencing, he would do it out of
frustration (he didn't get something he wanted), or when he
wanted my attention (if I was on the phone, cooking dinner
etc... ). He would bonk his head on the side of the cupboard
(he had a favourite place just for this)and then come running to
me for sympathy. I continued to tell him that this was not
good - and show that I was upset and hurt that he did this. I
would try not to reward this behaviour by picking him up -
instead I would would bend down and hug him or just talk to him
letting him know I am there - but his behaviour hurts both of
us. He hasn't bonked his head this month at all (he started
around 16 months).
My mother-in-law told me my husband also did this as a toddler -
and it did not last long with him as well. I equate it to
separation anxiety - something they will work through with your
support and attention - but will pass with their development.
Marcella
Best to ignore it! A babies whole world is throough its
senses. ''What does it feel like if I pull my hair out'' WOW! My
son used to look right at us and yank a huge glob of hair
out. It freaked me out. I decided to ignore it and before you
know it he stopped.
When he would later throw tantrums and throw himself on
the ground, he finally started to let himself down slower,
during the tantrum, so as to not hurt himself. Very funny to
see.
All these weird behaviors seem to go through phases.
Before you know it your baby will let go of the head banging
and then discover a new thing, maybe hair pulling. When it
gets a rise out of us that just makes it better!
anon
My son started banging his head (when he was angry or
frustrated) when he was about a year old. At first it really
freaked me out. I went into hyperdrive for a few days trying to
avoid any situation that might trigger this behavior. Then I
read an article on babycenter.com that said, basically, that it
is a calming behavior and is self regulating so they won't hurt
themselves. After reading that article, I simply did not put
ANY attention on the behavior at all. I noticed that he never
cried in pain. I noticed that a couple of times he hit himself
harder than he expected and surprised himself and eased off.
For a short while he would take a running start for the harder
(wood under upholstery) part of the couch and hit it like a ram
full speed. That was hard to take, but again I didn't react and
he stopped doing it shortly thereafter. He is almost 3 now and
still occasionally bangs his head on the floor or wall. I don't
even have to be in the room for him to do it, so I don't feel
it is just to get my attention. More often, he bangs his head
into me when he is angry. I treat this the same as hitting,
kicking, biting, etc. Although I must admit that I am much more
on guard because he has hurt me a few times with his hard head.
He has enough verbal skills now that I keep asking him to use
his words when he is angry. We talk about this when he is not
angry, because my sense is that right now he still can't
express himself verbally when he is in a rage. So I try to role
play a little when he is in a good mood, hoping that soon he
will be able to find his voice when he is in a rage.
Oh, one more thing I used to do when he was head banging, or
otherwise displaying angry behavior. I use to say, ''Hey, has
Mr. Meany come to visit? Is that Mr. Meany in there? Tell Mr.
Meany to go away.'' This actually worked sometimes. We gave the
mood a name so he could deal with it.
anon
Our son head-bonked quite a bit, usually when he was upset. It seemed
that he often chose rather hard surfaces, such as a window, door, wall,
or floor. It clearly hurt him, but he rarely got a bruise from it (plenty of
those from falling, anyway). We would tell him to stop, and if he didn't
we would usually pick him up and try to comfort him.
He is almost 3 now and I can't remember the last time he bonked.
Bonking de-bunked
20-month-old bangs her head when angry
I have a 20 month old daughter that is very bright and active. She is a
very good natures person for the most part except for the fact that she is
almost two and therefore frustrates easily. Our problem is that she bangs her
head on the nearest surface when she doesn't get her way. Today she threw her
forehead onto the bathtub, sidewalk, her sisters back and the side of the car.
She cries because it hurts and then she does it again.
My question is what should I do? I am tempted to ignore it but she chose
such hard surfaces I worry about her head. I have tried to hold her tight and
let her take her frustrations out on me but quite frankly I don't like being
banged into with all of her force. Once she scratched my neck with all
five nails. Ouch. Any ideas would be appreciated. I am trying not to panic
about this and think the worst.
My friend just recently broke her eardrum when her twenty month old son head
banged her in the ear. In my view, while head banging can be considered
*normal* behavior on the part of some infants and toddlers (it seems to be a
means by which some individual children deal with tension and fatigue) it
needs to be taken *seriously* and responded to because it's a safety issue.
My son, now eighteen months also went through a period of time where he did
quite a bit of head banging. When he did not want to be held or confined, my
son would bang his head into my head (he hurt my husband and I a number of
times). Sometimes when he was unhappy, he would make his body go limp in
protest, arch his back, throw back his head in protest. It was difficult to
control him because he would just throw his body back on the ground, often
hurting himself in the process when he landed his head on concrete or hard
linoleum.
When my son head banged me, I tried to respond as calmly but as firmly as
possible by saying, "No head banging! You hurt mommy. Mommy doesn't like it
when you bang your head against me. It feels bad. When mommy feels bad, it
makes mommy want to cry." I was trying to emphasize how much it hurt me. (In
addition to being very physical, my son is very affectionate and loving...I
know he didn't want to hurt me.) I think getting him to realize how much it
hurt me was the key to changing his behavior. I also tried to make an effort
to verbally acknowledge his frustration (which he is obviously too young to
do for himself), recognize when he was winding down, getting overly tired or
stressed, and make sure he got naps on a regular basis.
When he would bang his head into the floor (and later cry because it hurt.)
I would say "Yeah it hurts when you bang your head in the floor." (I would
mimic him in a funny way and pretend to hurt myself whiling making funny
sounds like *boom*) "Ouch I hurt myself...hey that doesn't feel good." Then I
would make a funny face in mock pain. (Usually this would get him to start
laughing, so it seemed that he was listening.) "You don't want to hurt
yourself...that hurts!!" At this point I tried to make sure that there was
eye contact and an emphasis on how much it hurt. I would also tell him,
"Mommy loves you. Mommy doesn't want to see you get hurt."
My son also started hitting his sister out of frustration. In response, I
started implementing two minutes time outs. After a month or so, his
behavior was remarkably much better.
Incidently the book, Raising Your Spirited Child has greatly helped me
understand my son's personality. I have found that I have needed to be a bit
more firmer, more creative and adopt a new set of parenting strategies with
him than with my daughter who rarely exhibited this type of behavior as an
infant or toddler.
Good Luck! I know it's not easy.
I know a kid who's in her teens now and has been banging her head
against her pillow to get to sleep since she was 2 years old. She's
sweet and smart and just fine (though in a few years she might want
to stop for fear of frightening a lover). Maybe the thing to do would
be to encourage the child in question to bang against things that are
soft, safe and comforting.
20-month-old head-butts us
My 20-month-old son is exhibiting some alarming
behavior lately. He's a little gentleman with the
nanny and the little girl we nanny-share with, but
with me and my husband he's suddenly a little Klingon.
He whacks us and/or head-butts us and laughs, even
when we are in obvious pain. He head-butted me so hard
yesterday that my nose swelled up! I was crying with
the pain and my husband, of course, said, "No! Don't
bonk Mommy! Gentle!" and the like and my little demon
looked right at me and smiled, "Funny!" I of course
said, "It's not funny, it hurts!" He seemed nonplussed.
This is incident 237 in a series. He never hits in anger-
It really is sorta Klingon in that it's (to him) friendly
roughhousing. We ALWAYS tell him, "Don't hit, hitting
hurts," etc. I also remove myself from the play situation.
But the behavior just seems to go on and on regardless.
We also went through a biting stage where he bit only
during a hug or snuggle- He bit when he REALLY loved you.
That's thankfully very much on the wane. By the way, he
only watches PBS and he's an only child- so no older
siblings pushing him around or playing WWF Smackdown or
anything like that.
So. Is my toddler a sociopath or just a toddler?
Will he figure out that hitting hurts eventually? And
why does he hit only us?
Melissa
No, your son is not a sociopath!!!! You are doing the right
thing by firmily telling him that it hurts to be hit, and that
he needs to stop and he eventually will. This behavior is
quite common for young children. Hitting and biting are
common impulses when children "love too much". It might be
helpful to have a place where he could hit or bite, instead
of you guys. A pillow, or a bitting toy arond his neck. I
did this with my daughter, who was biting often when she was
around 23 months. She had a toy hippo that she was allowed to
bite. It worked well. She eventually stopped biting people,
and even gave her hippo to a younger friend who was in a
biting stage.
Eliana
Aug 2004
I am wondering if there is anyone out there who has any advice about what to
do when my 3 year old has a tantrum that involves slamming her head, face,
mouth into the wall, floor, her hands etc. Our pediatrician has told us that we
need to ignore it completely as any attention will promote the behavior. This is
hard to do when she is bloodying her face on the wall. She has already made
several dents in the plaster. Her face is really bruised up and she has a big
scratch on her head. I'm sure people think we beat her.
When I ask her later on when she is calm why she does it, she expresses
concern that I am going away and she has to be with her father. I have recently
returned to work after being home for 5 months on maternity leave. I know
this is why the behavior has returned, she used to do it when she was younger,
I had hoped she had grown out of it. I understand seperation anxiety, but I
don't understand the compulsion to hurt herself. She knows it draws a crowd
too, which is part of the problem.
I just don't know how to get the behavior to stop with out completely ignoring
it---but how do you ignore a 3 year old putting her head through the wall?
Does anyone know of any good books? Therapists? Any advice would be
appreciated!
Concerned mom
Our 3 year old has been throwing serious tantrums that involve severe head-
banging (she's put several dents in her wall). She has done this for a couple of years
now. Everything I have read tells me that this behavior exists in 1 out of 3 kids, and
the only thing that can be done about it is to ignore it up till the point where they
might hurt themselves.
Today, at a visit to Children's Hospital (for a dental pre-op) she threw an absolute fit
in front of the staff when they were trying to get her blood-pressure, etc. The
person on duty stated that he had never seen anything as severe as her tantrum,
and wanted us to immediately get psychological help for her. The staffer that
suggested this is not a doctor, nor a psychologist by his own admission. This does
go against most of what I have researched on this behavior.
We will look into this with our physician, but I was wondering if anyone out there
can shed some light on this behavior.
She is currently taking Singulair and Zyrtec for allergies and asthma. Could this be a
side affect?
Thanks in advance!
You might check out the book ''The Out of Sync Child'' re. the
head-banging and for some sensory advice. I always
felt ''ignoring'' tantrums was so hard to do in the heat of the
moment, especially when they got so physical. And clearly at
some point they can't actually calm down on their own. My
youngest used to bang his head in his crib for sensory feedback,
and was always banged up, despite a double thick crib bumper.
Best of luck.
mom of two strong willed children
My child also banged his head and had violent tantrums and it was
very difficult for our whole family to cope with. He also had a
tantrum severe enough to bring a succession of doctors into the
urgent care, beginning to schedule an MRI(he calmed after nearly
2 hours!).
After 6 months of worry we finally got some great help from a
panel of behavior experts through Regional Center. They explained
that a behavior like head-banging can serve many different
functions including self-stimulation, frustration release,
attention-getting, and pain relief/expression. Sometimes the
behavior begins as one thing, such as pain or self-stimulation,
and continues as an attention-getting behavior. They encouraged
us to ignore the behavior whenever possible, or use a special
holding technique where you wrap yourself around your child while
sitting, basically so the child cannot move. This is to prevent
escalation and self-injurious behavior. They also encouraged us
rule out any possibility that pain could be causing the behaviors.
Our child ended up having a long list of medical problems that
were contributing to his behaviors. When the pain and irritation
were relieved, the behavioral approaches worked quite quickly. It
is prudent to see your child's pediatrician to rule out pain or
medication reactions as contributing factors, then ask for
behavioral help. By this I mean from a behavior specialist or a
doctor/child psychologist who specializes in doing behavior
analysis and modification. You may have to work hard to get the
proper referral, but it will be worth it.
We also tried craniosacral massage, Wilburger brushing
protocol(especially on his head), homeopathy, and reducing
allergens. These all worked to reduce incidents/severity, and
helped us to feel we were ''doing something about it''.
This is a very difficult issue to deal with and it can drain you
physically and emotionally. Try to give yourselves a break in
whatever way you are able; this will help you and your child.
Give yourselves a pat on the back for reaching out to get help
for your child. I hope you get a lot of helpful replies.
doesn't bang his head anymore
April 2004
My almost 4-year old has been a ''headbanger'' since she could lift
her head. She lies on the floor for up to an hour banging her
forehead against her hands and chanting. She has no symptoms of
autism, but seems to use this repetitive behavior to calm herself
when angry, disappointed or overwhelmed. Sometimes I try to
engage her while she's doing this, and it's almost as if she's in
an altered state and unreachable. She is verbally precocious and
expresses herself freely and clearly, and easily discusses
feelings. Early on, her pediatrician said not to worry and that
this type of behavior tends to disappear by age 5, but still, I
worry (though I try not to express overt concern to my daughter)!
Any insights, sharing of similar experience, etc. would be
appreciated!!!
We also have a headbanger - our 3.5 year old son has been
banging his head since he could lift it. He bangs on walls,
windows, furniture, the floor, us, and with his own hands. We
have noticed that he bangs his head more when he is tired. We
try to remind him when he does it to be gentle to his head
(although there are times when he has bruises!). We have also
been told that he will outgrow this and are anxiously awaiting
the time when he does. I do not know if this is the case with
your daughter, but our son has a large head for his body size
and I wonder if that is part of the problem - his head is heavy
and may be something he notices more than most. I expect that
when he gets bigger and more proportioned he may not be so
focused on his head.
Mom to a bumper
September 2005
Sometimes when my 11-year-old son gets really upset (angry, frustrated, ?) he purposely bangs his head
repeatedly on the wall. I've told him that he can bang any part of his body EXCEPT his head, but I don't know
what to do. I read in the archive about headbanging, but it's all babies and toddlers. I'm afraid that this
headbanging is some sort of self destructive behavior that will turn into cutting or worse when he gets a little older.
Has anybody had any experience with this behavior in an older child, and if so, what do I do??
worried mother
From your description of the situation, it sounds like your
son's behavior is intense and unlikely to stop without an
intervention based on an understanding of the behavior's
underlying cause.
You may find it helpful to document the history of the
behavior. When did it start? With what frequency does it
occur? Any particular time of day? Any particular issues
(under the broad umbrella of anger/frustration)? Duration of
each episode? How does each episode end? Who is
around? Location of episodes? Your son's mood prior to
each episode? Is the onset sudden or are there warning
signs? Your son's mood following each episode?
Answering as many of these (and other related) questions
as you can, and carefully observing and documenting
episodes for a few weeks (2-4) will go a long way toward
helping you to identify patterns around this behavior. Once
you have established some relevant patterns, it will be
much easier to determine a course of action.
I hope you find this helpful
Nechama
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