Toddler Obsessions
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Toddler Obsessions
Toddler son obsessed with trains
Related pages:
Where to go to see trains
and Train Sets
August 2002
My 21-month-old son loves ''choo choos'' (trains).
Should encourage this obsession or redirect it?
Right now the only train-related items we own are ''The Little
Train that Could'' book and one ''Thomas the Tank Engine'' book.
I am afraid of him becoming one of those kids who must have every
single Thomas train item or Brio train gadget, who insists on
spending the entire day at the Tilden Steam Trains, and who wants
to talk ad nauseam about the minutiae details of trains.
Every time I bring books home from the Berkeley library to read
with him, he finds the pages that have pictures of ''choo choos'' on
them and only wants to look at those pages.
He has other interests as well (watering our garden, reading books
about animals, hiking, riding in the bike trailer, searching for
rocks, drawing, etc.), so perhaps I should cultivate those
interests and let the ''choo choo'' obsession fade away without new
toys or books from Mom and Dad.
Any thoughts from fellow parents of ''choo choo''-obsessed boys?
Danielle
Our son loved trains when he was little, wanted to read the train
books, see trains, and watch those dopey Thomas videos all the
time. We wish we'd bought the Brio or compatibles, they're nicer
than lots of other toys. He got over it slowly, now at 11 he
enjoys trains mildly but saves his obsessions for role-playing
computer games...
Avi
My advice is,,, you do not need to worry about it.
While he may like trains so much that it seems even obsessive,
this can be a great gateway for him to learn so many things from
it.
My son, who is now 3 years and a half, also loves trains,
particularly The Thomas the tank engine. It all started when we
bought just one Thomas book when he was around 2 and a half. He
loved that book, and we read it every night for 6 months.
Through it he learnt about colors, numbers, sizes, emotions of
each trains, etc. Eventually we bought one train, and he played
so well with it. 3 months later on his birthday, we gave him 2
more Thomas character trains. Now he creates stories with those
train sets, and have lots of fun.
Although he sometimes asks why he does not have other Thomas
character trains, I just tell them that they are probably busy
doing there jobs in the island of Sodor, and they may or may not
come to visit him. He is fine with this explanation, and do not
complain about it. He has a basic train tracks, a hand down from
his older cousin. Although some parts are broken, he does not
ask for a new one, since we just say we cannot keep buying new
parts, instead he can figure out how to play with those broken
ones. Then he often find solutions (problem solving skill is
there!!!) For example, he does not have train stations, but he
just put wooden bricks next to a track, and for him, they are
perfect as train stations.
I think it is wonderful for him to be able to have something
that he loves so much. I do not necessarily encourage him to
stick to his love of trains, but I certainly do not discourage
him from playing with it. He will outgrow it as he gets older,
(or he may become one of those adults who likes to have a real
miniature train tracks in his attic!)
Mika
Kids' obsessions can get tiresome, but for the most part I've
always enjoyed my son's passions and encouraged them. My son
(now age 7) loved trains as a toddler, too, and we spent many
enjoyable hours on the Tilden train, playing with his train set,
reading books about trains, and haunting the remainder table at
Pegasus looking for new books about trains. (One of my favorites
from the remainder table was the beautifully illustrated Choo
Choo by Virginia Lee Burton -- she's the one who wrote and
illustrated Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel, among other
kids' classics.) Not only do I think such obsessions are
harmless, I believe kids learn and develop their brains by
focusing on something, like trains, and learning all they can
about it. Memorizing minute details about trains -- I suspect,
though I don't have studies to back it up -- trains the brain
(no pun intended!) to learn and memorize and organize the world
as the child gets older. Why not just go with your child's
enthusiasm? Why squelch his passion? You have no obligation to
buy every Thomas or Brio train, and you don't have to spend
every spare minute at the Tilden train. And by all means
encourage other activities, too, as you're already doing. A few
years down the road your son will move on to other interests and
you'll think nostalgically back on when he loved trains, and
when a trip to Tilden was all it took to make him happy. We used
to bring a snack with us and ride the train three or four times
in a row -- it's a beautiful ride and I don't regret a minute of
it. Finally, if this train obsession is bugging you, just wait
until he's school age and becomes interested in things like
Pokemon or baseball cards or whatever. My son gets a small
weekly allowance now, and out of that he can indulge his current
obsession -- whether that's buying Pokemon cards and memorizing
everything about those strange creatures or saving for a Star
Wars Lego set. Its my experience that you can't squelch these
interests if they're really strong. So unless you really think
your child's obsession is harmful, go with it, and enjoy!
-- Dana
I guess that I don't really see any problem with the obsession,
other than it can become annoying to you. My son is 3 1/2 and is
still very much train obsessed. As tired as I am of hearing
about trains I see no problem with it, and actually because he
likes trains so much he loves to be read train books, both
stories and books about trains. His hand eye coordination and
fine motor skills are exceptional and I beleive that it has to do
with all the time he spends playing with his trains (we are one
of those families with all of the Thomas and Brio stuff) Now I'm
actually seeing a real surge in the development of his spacial
reasoning and he can put together complex tacks, using a variety
of track sizes, styles bridges etc all by himself. Trains also
have taught him to play by himself and have helped develop his
imagination as he creates complex scenarios with his Thomas
trains and he has them all talking to each other, using different
voices etc. I would certainly rather have him obsessed with
trains rather than guns, Pokemon etc. In addition to trains my
son loves baseball, soccer, painting, puzzles and his Goldfish. I
will admit that I am VERY tired of the trains, but in the long
run I've seen a lot of value. Good luck
anonymous
Perhaps I am missing the point...but what is wrong with
trains? My son too loves trains. I find it a good thing as he
loves to play with his Thomas the train set both by himself and
with me, we love to go to the steam trains we even love Trader
Joes' because they have a train around the dairy section. I
think that this is very common with toddlers (esp. boys) and
not an ''obsession'' that should cause concern. You mention
concern over him wanting all of the Thomas paraphaneilia - of
ocurse he will want it all but it is your job to explain to him
why he can't. Perhaps you can use this as an opportunity to
teach him about money and teach him to save money to buy a
train every now and then.
Amy
My now almost 4 year old was obsessed with trains for about a
year, or longer. He wanted to go see them everyday at Jack
London or Emeryville. Fortunately, my husband and I work so we
did not have to do this ourselves everyday, and we have a
wonderful babysitter who accomodated, and we thought it was
charming. All the conductors got to know him and waived
enthusiatically and honked when passing by. We did go every time
he wanted to go, when possible, and when we couldn't he would
sometimes have a fit, but it would blow over. He did also like
train books and Thomas trains, but he did not beg for every one
or every gadget, not because he might not have wanted them, but
because we have never succumbed to that kind of begging for
anything, so while he tried, he didn't really press it, and also
because we did have a fair number of trains for him to play with
at home, left over from his older brother. As all things do, his
obsession passed with time, and now I kind of miss those train
visits. You can also visit any of the toy stores, which we did,
and your son can play with the displays there. You can
explain that you can't have all that stuff in your home because
it's too big or too expensive or whatever. I would also explain
to my son that if there was something major he really wanted, he
could ask to get it for his birthday. All in all I think I got
away with buying him maybe 2 trains, not as birthday gifts,
during this whole period. Not too bad. I think if you combine
satisfying his interest and being enthusiastic about it yourself,
with setting certain limits, you will survive, and maybe even
enjoy. We certainly met quite a few other parents of train
obsessed boys down at Emeryville (at least you can get a decent
lunch down there!)
Raissa
I know more about trains than I ever thought I'd want to -- and
superheroes and buses and bugs and building and comics and music
and Australia and Jeff Noon . . . . .
We visited every train in N. California. Go to Sonoma,
Sacramento Train Museum, Tilden, Niles Canyon. Enjoy it. It will
evolve to another passion.
Mom of a Teen
Passions like this are what makes life full! My son at 3 was
obsessed with construction machinery. We had to stand for hours
and hours looking at construction sites and reading about
machinery. I learned all about things I never heard of like
front-end loaders and gooseneck lowboys. The next year it was
dinosaurs. Every book we read had to be about dinosaurs and we
spent so much time on campus and LHS looking at the dinos. He
could say pachyencephlalosauras without even blinking. By 1st
grade it was baseball cards and players and statistics and that
held his attention for a long time. Now he is 19, in college and
still so much loves his sports trivia, goes to at least one As
game a week, hangs out with friends to watch games, even plays a
little. He just wouldn't be the same kid now at all if he hadn't
been able to indulge in his passions when he was little. Your
little one will do trains for a while and then probably move on
to something else. In the process you will learn stuff you never
knew before! Enjoy it!
Ginger
PS: there is some great advice about where to take kids to
see trains here:
http://parents.berkeley.edu/recommend/places/Trainspot.html
Sounds so familiar. My 25 month old son is obsessed with trains,
as was his dad, who continues to be an adult rail fan. I've
learned somewhat reluctantly to enjoy the rides on scenic trains
near vacation spots, been through lots of train museums and
become very familiar with Thomas the Tank. My niece is also a
big train fan who was formerly obsessed with dogs. I think it is
normal for small children to be very interested in certain things
in phases, as they learn more about the world and can communicate
their interest to you. I don't see a train obsession as a bad
thing necessarily, as it can be used to teach a lot of positive
things. My son plays with model Brio type trains which has
increased his hand/eye coordination assembling trains and also
his puzzle (good for math in the future) skills fitting the track
together. There are many simple train toys not just the
expensive Thomas ones. Also he loves to read the Thomas books
which have good vocabulary and content I think. He enjoys
watching and looking at trains and doesn't necessarily have to
have them all when we go to a toy shop either.
My husband actually volunteers at the Tilden Train and there are
quite a few kids and even teens and young adults who show up
there with or without their parents to volunteer too. I can sure
think of worse things to be doing (especially a teen) than to be
interested in trains, to develop mechanical and building skills
and volunteer their time for something that gives such pleasure
for up to 1000 young riders and their families a weekend day for
only $1.75 a ticket (and free under 2!!) through the beautiful
Tilden hills. As obsessions go it's pretty wholesome.
Just to reassure you my husband says that most boys lose their
interest in trains when they can drive cars and discover girls,
so maybe not a bad thing to let them enjoy before they outgrow
it.
Luckily for me I have found that many of my son's friends share
the obsession and enjoy playing trains together, and that the
scenic tourist railroads are generally located in beautiful
places you'd want to tour. Grin and bear it and you may find
yourself having fun too.
Surrounded by Train Freaks
I come from a family of train obsessed men and they have all
turned out to be well-rounded individuals with non-train
oriented professional careers. I wouldn't worry too much. My
father has been obsessed with trains since he could walk and
talk. Now he takes a vacation on a train every few years or so,
and has a model layout in his basement. I think it's great, and
I'd have no qualms in encouraging my son to go along with his
grandpa. I also think it sounds like you need to set some
limits before you head off to the Tilden trains...one time is
enough. If he protests, then he can not go at all. Why is this
such a bad interest, anyway?? It could be a lot worse...he
could be obsessed with guns or the like.
Mom who loves trains
I think it's normal, and even pretty cool, that your 21 month
old son is into trains. I'm not even sure I'd call
it ''obsession'' as you do - I'd call it a wonderful capacity for
fascination, zest, curiosity, attention. And I'd let it run its
course or develop as it will, especially since he has other
interests as well. Remember, it might be tough, but you can
always say ''no'' to the Brio trains and accessories, just as you
can say ''no'' to any overpriced fancy toy.
My best friends' son is 5 and has been the same about trucks
since 6 months. His first words included the ''beep'' sound made
when trucks back up. As you feared in your message, at age 5 he
now is a font of arcane knowledge about trucks and can identify
truck parts I never thought existed or mattered. His mom was
worried at first. It bugged her that the relatives bought him
more and more trucks, and she filled the house with other toys,
but he didn't care, he ignored everything but the trucks. His
parents are both Ph.D.s with minds full of arcane knowledge of
their own specialties, so maybe a capacity for attention and
fascination runs in the family?
By the way, my friends' 5 year old son is also a sweet, happy,
somewhat reserved child who is also now ''into'' Bob the Builder,
Playmobil toys, insects, riding a bicycle, etc. He has
friends. His parents do get sick of the truck talk, but he's
into so much more than the truck talk that it's okay now.
Also, I believe that it's part of the Reggio Emilio method of
teaching to start with the child's fascination and develop other
interests from there. For example, you can teach music by
singing train songs, teach sharing by having him play with
trains with others, etc.
Good luck!
Diane
Please let your child ''go with'' his ''obsession'' with trains. My
two boys experienced years of imaginative play centered around
trains. We traveled to Niles Canyon, Sacramento, and various
miniature train tracks (Pt. Richmond, Walnut Creek), plus built
our own train table using generic tracks, a few Thomas
(expensive) characters and Brio or less expensive cars. Their
hours of play with trains eventually turned into hours of play
with cars and action figures, and is equivalent to girls playing
with dolls, doll houses, Barbies, etc. Trains are great
scenarios for imaginative play which you should encourage at any
age. It also doesn't have to be an expensive hobby. Check out
used toy stores like Toy Go Round- you'll find that many boys
have an early healthy obsession with trains. If you'd like more
info, please feel free to contact me.
roehl
My three year old son love trains and it has been a great thing
for him. He has learned colors, numbers, morals (really!), and
all kinds of interesting stuff from the Thomas series. His
verbal skills have blossomed, and his attention and focus are
amazing. I think it a really sweet, engaging
activity/obsession.
train mom
My 18-moth old is obsessed with ''toot toots,'' too, and I've
encouraged it, as much as you can encourage any passing fancy.
We check out books from the library about trains and buy the
ones he seems to like the most. We go to stores with train
tables and he plays with them for hours. We've gone to watch
the trains go by and are about to take a trip by train. It
started with videos, I'm afraid, and after some initial
hesitation, we gave in and let him watch one Thomas video per
day. He already knows the names of all the engines. We just got
him a starter figure 8 Thomas set and he has learned to hook
the trains and tracks together to go over the bridge and
through the tunnel, though he gets frustrated at times and
throws them. He also carries around the train catalog like a
blanky and sometimes whines a bit, but he can't vocalize any
particular request for toys yet, so I just take that as a sign
we need to visit Zany Brainy and play with the train tables
there. Though the Thomas stuff is expensive, you can find it
used or dole it out for special occasions. (Just because he
wants it doesn't mean he'll get it.) Perhaps this all sounds
horrible to you, but I think it's a good developmental step for
him. It teaches him hand-eye coordination and dexterity to play
with the trains, and now that he says the names of all the
characters on the videos, he's starting to grasp the concept of
his own name and his friends' names. Besides, he just likes
them, so what's wrong with that? Like you, I also think it's
wise to encourage other interests, and my son has many, but
right now trains are the tops. I think that as parents, we
should try to encourage our kids' interests and hobbies, even
(perhaps especially) if we don't share them.
Whitney
My husband was obsessed with train and bus schedules as a school
age child. His mother was very supportive taking him to the main
station to get maps and schedules, and as he got older letting
him go on expeditions by himself. He became a city planner. He
now works for a transit agency! Whenever one of our friends
wants to know how to get someplace, even in other cities, they
call him.
trains to transit
From my experience with two kids (boy and girl) I feel these
''obsessions'' at different ages are normal. Some kids
become more obsessed than others. My son was
completely into trains at the same age as your son. The
obsession lasted at least a year. We gave into it and let him
absorb himself in trains. We read train books, visited trains,
watch Thomas movies, and built endless tracks. He started
his first imaginary play with the trains, and sometimes he
even took them to bed with him. The train obsession
ended, but we moved onto other interesting topics such as
dinosaurs (you'll learn to pronounce all the names) and sea
life (especially sharks) and less satsifying (for us) icons
such as Pokeman. Now he is a 10-year-old sports fanatic
who wonders why 2 year olds are so obsessed with
Thomas and why 5 year olds are so obsessed with
Pokeman! Kids are different in the level of their obsessions,
though. My daughter has a set of obsessions and moves in
and out of them for a few days at a time. She even hauls out
my son's dinosaurs and trains from time to time and fixates
on them for a few days. So I say go with it, let him enjoy his
interests, and try to keep your composure when he wants to
read the SAME Thomas book for about the hundredth time.
It will pass and you'll find yourself wondering why Thomas
drove you nuts as you are reading the same dinosaur books
over and over again and being begged for the Land Before
Time movies.
Maria
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