UCB Parents Advice about Teenagers
Knowing their Whereabouts
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Getting Phone Numbers for your Kids' Friends
Asking who, what, when, where
Getting Phone Numbers for your Kids' Friends
I have 2 quick comments after reading what some other parents are
saying. I am the mother of a nearly 19 year old BHS grad who just
finished his first year of college and a 15 year old going into soph
year. First- I cannot underscore enough the necessity of phone numbers
for your children's friends. Even the ones that are not in the inner
circle. Friends change quickly in teenagers. With my older one these
numbers were invaluable when someone's kid didn't show up and it was 2
a.m., or once someone ran away and there was an instant phone tree and
the police were able to make sweeping inquiries very quickly. We were
always compassionate when the phone rang (fortunately not very often)
and felt that the web of parents are part of holding kids through these
tough years. I like to meet every kid who comes in my house and I'm
wary when kids come over who blow me off or are rude when I introduce
myself. The phone numbers are one part- the other part is
intra-parental communication. I'm also just as wary when I introduce
myself to one of my kids' friend's parents and the parents don't care to
connect in some way. I know from experience that some night their kid
will be unaccounted for and they won't have a clue where to start. In
these moments we are all desperately alone and we don't need to be. I
also have seen a pattern that frequently it's been these kids who, a
few years later, end up in some kind of trouble- academic, drug realted,
crime related, etc.
The phone tree letter was such a good example of why it's important to
have a newsletter like this. Getting your kids' friends phone numbers -
what an obvious thing to do, but until today I hadn't thought about how
useful it might be. It's a little sad that we are all sometimes
struggling alone with a problem that another parent has figured out. I
am really grateful to have such a convenient way (email) to get advice
from expert parents.
About phone numbers and meeting friends. Sometimes the kids complain we
embarrass them by trying to be friendly. I like to meet all her friends
and their families. I just tell my daughter that it is my job to
embarass her. That all teenagers are embarrassed. That she would be
embarrassed in any case no matter what I was like or what I might do.
It's just part of being a teenager. I entirely agree. Get everybodies
phone number.
I think getting phone numbers for your kids' friends is a great idea.
My son usually goes to other peoples' homes (since ours is too small)
and I hate to say I don't even know their last names. No matter how
much it annoys him, I'm going to ask for first and last names and
telephone numbers.
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UC Berkeley Parents Network and
should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the
University of California, Berkeley.