What are these tiny baggies I found in my son's bag?

Okay so I needed a carry on bag for a recent flight and I thought of my son's fairly new day pack hanging in his closet (he's a freshman in college on the other side of the country). Truly I wasn't snooping. Anyway I found an assortment of 5 partially full bottles of alcohol. That doesn't bother me so much - I started drinking when I was 14 and never developed a real taste for it - rarely drink myself and have had a rather blase attitude towards it. Anyway, that's besides the point. In the bag I found a regular sized baggy filled with green 3/4'' square empty baggies printed with the playboy bunny logo all over them. They're too small for condoms. In my next conversation with him, I lightheartedly told him about my discoveries and asked what the baggies were. His response - ''I dunno. They're not mine.'' Yeah right (I actually said). Well, since he's not forthcoming with any information, does anyone out there know what these are? Many thanks. anon

Now, as to the ''I wasn't snooping'', I have to disagree. I know that you had a legitimate reason for going into the bag, but you just can't go into your kids closet and poke about their personal belongings. One thing that I have always made a conscious effort of in raising my son (who is now 16) is to respect his privacy. I will never enter his room without knocking, I don't go through his things if I'm ''looking'' for something. I ask him for what I need if it is in his room. If he's not home, I wait. This respect of my son's space comes from my experience of a continual violation of my privacy growing up. My mother would read my diary and question the contents, open sealed letters before I could mail them and questions the contents, rummage through my clothing and jewelry, take things then say I gave them to her, etc. To this day, I have major trust issues and try my hardest to never over- step my son's boundaries.

I'm not berating you by any means, especially because I'm sure what you found caused you great concern, but you need to understand that your position in discussing what you found in your son's bag is on shaky ground with him. He will not be able to take it seriously because he will more than likely feel that you violated his privacy and will surely not be happy.

Just stand your ground in terms of drugs in your home, and realize that he is at the age where experimentation with pot and alcohol are common. Not to say you should be okay with it, but just let him know your concerns as someone who loves him and wants to see him make the right choices for his future.

Good luck, and perhaps it's time to buy a day pack of your own. Rebecca

[original anon. request cut and pasted...] Any insight? This came to Parents of Teens. --''Mom''

haha, wow, i thought you guys were children of the 70's! The baggies are used to put marijuna in. The cost of the weed depends on how big the baggie is. If they were small ones then they were probably dime bags (10 dollars). If he's got a bunch of them, then he might be dealing weed. But if they weren't full then you can't say that for sure. He might be using them for something else besides weed but i doubt it. --''Son''

haha yourself. you know me. I should have asked DAD. But, 3/4inch square? that's not much to go on, is it? seems too small for weed. --''Mom''

no, thats the right size. its the most expensive commodity by weight in the world... or close to it. --''Son''

well, in my day I remember it coming in sandwich size bags. But, of course, you could get big bottles of RC Cola for 5 cents as well. Another sign of aging, I suppose. --''Mom''

-and, by the way, I just now figured out, 5 years later, that the bottles I found in his gym bag were his! He told me they belonged to another kid. (And, in my naivete and desire to think that he didn't drink, I believed him.) Anon

i don't know exactly, but i'd be thinking ''drugs.'' or more specifically, that the tiny baggies are to package some kind of drugs for sale.

if what i found in my son's wallet several times is any indication, marijuana is now packaged in bitty ziplocks, but they are maybe 1 1/2 - 2'' square -- larger than what you found. but we noticed stickers or logos on some of the bags, which we took as a marketing tool. [they weren't his, he ''found'' them, by the way.]

the ''it's not mine'' excuse is old as dirt, and sure, it's somewhat plausible. but is it reasonable?

our son's substance problem snuck up on us, partly because we thought it's not unusual for teens to experiment, and partly because we didn't want to be intrusive and ignored the signs. ''not forthcoming with information'' is one of the signs.

in my mind, signs of dealing are worse than signs of use -- for one thing, there can be huge criminal consequences. i can't think of what a bunch of such tiny bags would be used for, besides packaging drugs.

i'm not sure confronting him with suspicions based only on the baggies will get you anywhere at this point. but perhaps it's a good idea to evaluate whether you have any other worrisome signs, that were easier to overlook -- as a college freshman across the country, you probably expected changes anyway. substance abuse can produce problems like defiance or other behavior problems, drop in grades, disinterest in activities he previously liked, new friends you don't know, secretiveness, unusual moods, etc. etc. does he seem to have more money or possessions than you would expect?

perhaps all the incentive he needs is to know mom's not stupid, and she has an eye out for his welfare. good luck! anon mom

I found out about their 'other' use once when my teen aged daughter was going through my art drawers and found the stack of empty bags (you buy them in large bundles). Her eyebrows dissappeared into her bangs and she turned to me and said ''MOM!...MOM?''

Educating mom she called it. Anyway, she had seen them often with sculpy in them and never thought about them in the 'drug' context until a) she saw them empty b) was in high school.

I use them to store tons of stuff. Extra seeds after we have opened the paper packages they come in, safety pins, earings, to tape screws or nails to shelving or furniture in storage, etc. Anything for which a sandwich baggie (which we use extensively too) is too big. The kids freely help themselves to them for their own small thing storage needs. My grandson (4) uses them to keep together the pieces of the hotwheels he takes appart. My son (13) uses them to store beads for earings he has designed.

Queen of baggies