Advice about Puberty
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Advice about Puberty
May 2008
There's been a lot of discussion about early puberty but I
haven't seen anything about late puberty. This was my
''affliction'' as a kid - I was extremely late and it made for a
difficult adolescence. At least one of my children seems to have
inherited this gene and I would hope that he could have an
easier time of it than I did, but I'm not sure how. Is he
probably not going to be as late as I was due to all the
hormones, etc? Is there anything that can speed up one's natural
path?
Anonymous
After all my research on early puberty, including tests that my
daughter went through that eventually ruled out early onset
puberty, my advice to you is to consult with your pediatrician
and get a referral to an endocrinologist who can advise about
bringing on puberty. They'll have the best information about
your options. Good luck.
Thoughtful Mother Trying to Make an Informed Decision
You might want to get your son/daughter tested for celiac disease. This
is a symptom
of it, and it's quite common.
I had my period at 16, and then started going into early menopause
before I gave up
on gluten. I think it's because your body doesn't get enough nutrition.
Late bloomer
Sept 2007
My daughter is just beginning to enter puberty and getting the
slightest amount of pubic hair. She is insistant that she wants
to shave it off. I've been telling her that the hair growth is
normal, etc. but she still wants to shave it. I'm really not
sure what stand to take on this. After all, it really is just
societal norms that have women shaving their pits, but not as
much their other areas - bikini waxing aside. I'm tempted to let
her do it, but feel a little uneasy about it. Any ideas or past
experience? Thanks.
anon mom
Let her do it. It'll be SOOOOOO itchy growing back that she'll
probably never want to do it again (either that or she'll shave
all the time, but that's the chance you'd be taking).
Good luck.
mother of boys
I don't know how you might convince her but she'd certainly
regret shaving. It will make the hairs grow back as prickly
bristles and could make the area itchy. And that's not to mention
the possibility of ingrown hairs which are unsightly and hurt. If
it's really bothering her that much I would recommend a brazilian
wax job instead (although the woman administering it might look
at you both like you're crazy). At least your daughter will
continue to be comfortable after the redness and irritation
subside. Honestly, though, I hope you can talk her out of it
altogether. A little unwanted hair is part of growing up. She
should take a little pride in this event instead.
-Anon
As a female pediatrician, I see that shaving all the pubic hair
has become the norm for most teenage girls and even some boys(!)
As this has become more common, I have seen with it a lot more
ingrown hairs and resultant infections. Because pubic hairs
are curly, as they grow back after shaving, sometimes they grow
inward causing these problems. This often then leads to pain,
need for antibiotics, and trips to the doctor which can be very
embarrassing for teens at this age. I try to tell my patients
that pubic hair is there for a reason, and encourage them to
leave it alone, or just shave the bikini line. Besides, at
this age no-one is going to see it (hopefully!) Good luck!
Can't believe they start this young!
I wouldn't worry about it. I did the same thing when I was
that age. It didn't have anything to do with popular culture,
I just thought it was weird to suddenly have those hairs there
and kinda wanted to look like I had always looked. I was a
little worried about growing up too, but I got over that. I
never talked to my Mom about it, I just did it. There were
also quite a few other girls my age that did the same thing,
although I didn't realize it when I started doing it. This was
before I knew anything about pubic hair grooming or associated
it with sexuality. I don't know if I would even bring it up
with her. I would think of it as perfectly normal and just let
it go and let her shave it if it makes her feel better. Maybe
explain to her that it is completely normal for women to have
hair there, that it's a part of growing up, and that it's not
unnatural or gross. In fact, you might nonchalantly point out
that it will probably be more uncomfortable when it starts to
grow back. Just like having your period, it may seem like an
inconvenience, but you get used to it. Maybe just encourage
her that it is okay for it to be there and that all women
eventually get used to it. I don't know how your daughter is,
but I think if my Mom had made a big deal out of it, I would
have felt very awkward and just done it in private. Your
daughter will end up figuring out her own sexual identity
anyway and it sounds like she has a good example to follow. If
it makes her feel better about an uncomfortable time like
puberty, why not?
anon
Absolutely not. Not because of any social norms, but if she
starts to shave it now, her pubic hair will grow back darker,
thicker and more course, i.e. leg hair. I would continue
conversations about how it is natural and all humans have pubic
hair. One stance I have taken on several occasions is ''You can
do it when you are 18.'' Where as they don't realize that you
won't be checking everyday, but at this age it seems to work
when you just tell them it is non-negotiable and end the
conversation. If she tries to bring it up again, remind her
this is not something on the negotiation table and change the
conversation. She will thank you for it years down the road!
Angela
I'm thinking that this is about more than the hair growth. Maybe your
daughter is
uncomfortable with having a more mature body and all that comes with it. I
remember feeling this way. I was very self-conscious and terrified mostly
of
developing ahead of my peers. I would encourage you to do lots of
listening and not
assume you know what your daughter may be feeling. I was afraid of
embarassing
myself and my mother by talking about my fears. I wish she had probed a
bit deeper
to find out what my real issues were. Sometimes its easier to focus on the
physical
because its hard, especially for a child, to find the words to talk about
their deeper
feeling and fears. They don't even have the vocabulary. Good luck to you
both.
anonymous
Yeee-OWCH!!! You're right about not wanting your daughter to
shave herself down there! It'll HURT afterwards, plus she'll feel
all itchy & get a rash when the hair grows back & she gets yucky
razor stubble. And she's definitely too young for a ''Brazilian
wax'' (double-yeee-owch!) But since your daughter feels so
embarrassed about it, please do consider buying her a depilatory
designed for the ''bikini area,'' show her how to use it safely, &
stay with her for the whole process so she doesn't accidentally
get lotion on her more tender parts. Otherwise she might get
desperate & do something crazy like Nair or borrowing dad's
razor. The depilatory will give smooth results & keep the hair
from growing back all rough & stubbly. Administering the
depilatory every week or two is so much danged work that she'll
probably get tired of it on her own & stop doing it as she
becomes more comfortable with her body's changes. I imagine this
situation must feel utterly alarming for you, but I do think this
sort of self-consciousness is totally normal.
Lisa
I agree with the posters who say to let your daughter shave.
It's her body, it's not permanent and it will make her feel
better. If she were in another culture, the hair removal would
be automatic. It would be waxed or ''sugared'' off.
More liberal than I thought
When I was your daughter's age I shaved my own pubic hair - I
must have found my mom's razor somewhere. I recall that when it
grew back in, it was pretty itchy and annoying. You might use
this as an added argument against doing it...(P.S. reading your
post makes me realize that no one was really helping me deal with
this stuff as a kid. I'm impressed that your daughter is open to
talking with you about it instead of just sneaking off to do it!)
anon
Initially I
wasn't going to reply, but the other replys were so very
negative about this that I thought it would be helpful for you
to hear something from the otherside.
First of all, it is great that your daughter is asking your
input on this decision. She could have just gone ahead and done
it. Since she did ask your opinion, I think you shoudl tell her
what you think about it, but try not to do it with a lot of
judgement as you dont' want to set up a situation where she
won't come back and ask other questions if she suspects your
opinion is contrary to her own leaning.
I think that shaving the pubic area has a lot of stigma
attached to it. Bikini line aside. I think this is due to
comfort/discomfort with the assumptions about sex that go along
with presence or lack of pubic hair. Your feelings, and hers
are valid. You are her parent and this is one of those times
that you get to share your values.
I have shaved or waxed my pubic area at various times and
honestly, it isn't that big a deal. In neither case did the
hair grow back either thicker or finer. In neither case was it
more or less prickly. In neither case did I experience in grown
hairs or shaving nicks. The biggest difference is that when you
shave you have to do it more frequently, and at first there can
be more irritation (red bumps) both of which were easily delt
with through the application of hydrocortizone. Personally,
compared with dealing with the stray bits of wax, I'd rather
shave. (Not to mention the price!) And to be honest... cleaning
up when menstruating is a snap when there is no hair to get in
the way.
no hair down there
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