Teens and Menstruation
Advice, discussions, and reviews from the
Parents of Teens weekly email newsletter.
Berkeley Parents Network >
Teens, Preteens, & Young Adults >
Teens and Menstruation
My daughter had her first period at age fourteen and a half, then
nothing for about 5-6 months. She is now nearly eighteen and a half
and has had only about five or six periods in her life. Last year a
gynecologist put her on the pill (low dose) and her period started
but she only stayed on it for a couple months because the side-effect
of dramatically increased and constant hunger, constant eating and
weight gain was unacceptable to her. Her blood tests don't show any
abnormal hormone levels and she doesn't have a single one of the
typical reasons for amenorrhea. Her weight is normal, she has a
healthy relationship with food - no eating disorder - and a very
healthy body self-image. She doesn't exercise excessively - in fact
not nearly enough at the moment. I know stress (academic) could be a
factor but even during fun, lazy, laid back summers she still didn't
We are stumped. We are going back to the doctor for another check,
but I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience - no
periods for no obvious reason. And what did you do? Although my
daughter is rather pleased she doesn't have to deal with periods, I
am worried as something must be causing this. She is enthusiastically
looking forward to having children and being a mom when the time
comes, and I fear that getting pregnant may be a real challenge for
You say your daughter doesn't show any abnormal hormone levels,
but there can often be a thyroid problem that doesn't register
according to the typical TSH test, which has a ''normal range''
that many endocrinologists consider ''too high/broad.'' For
example, it could indicate that your daughter is ''normal'' if
her TSH is 4, but my doctor would consider that hypothyroid for
sure. There are also other tests for thyroiditis that should be
given but usually are not by GPs or even internists. They
include Free T3, Free T4, and especially, two thyroid antibodies
tests, anti-microsomal and anti-TPO. I would take her to an
endocrinologist specifically but not even all endos are well
informed about the TSH range indicating normal when there is in
fact a problem. My doctor's practice: Dr. Eric Buxton and Dr.
Nathan Becker. Across the street from UCSF Med Center, at 350
Parnassus in SF. You would also be asking them to test for PCOS,
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which is highly associated with
hypothyroidism and can result in irregular periods or scanty
ones or even skipping them altogether. I didn't get a diagnosis
until age 41 but my doctor agrees that both were my problems
from at least age 14. Thyroiditis can be triggered by puberty
and it is possible this could be your daughter's problem as
well. If so, other symptoms can arise later on, so best to find
out while this is her only problem. Good luck.
I recently learned about PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) and it
came to mind when you described your teen daughter's infrequent
menstrual periods. This web site gives a basic rundown:
It might be worth a glance, if only to rule it out...
As a teen I rarely had my period, and even into my 20s and 30s
it was infrequent--between every 45 and 60 days. i went through
two separate almost year-long stretches without getting my
period at all. I am thin, but my doctors could find nothing
wrong. When I wanted to get pregnant I went on Clomid and both
times got pregnant the first month. Now that I'm in my late 40s
I have my period every 3 weeks! I miss the old days.
My 18 year old has bad PMS with depression at that time of month. I
want to find a health care provider or alternative medicine provider
who will thoughtfully address this issue. I am concerned about her
being put on a ongoing anti-depressant, for I think this is
unnecessary. I am looking for someone who will really listen to her
and provide low tech suggestions.
The quickest, healthiest way to deal with low grade depression is
aerobic exercise. During moderate level exercise, the brain increases
it's production of dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine, which are
powerful natural stimulants. In as little as 20 minutes of exercise,
your daughter will begin to feel more energetic. After 40 minutes of
exercise, her mood will be much sunnier. How about doing this activity
as a team? Over time, it might turn into a deep bounding experience
for the both of you.
There are lots of ways to deal with this besides medication. However a
qualified professional should really evaluate if this is the best
step. If medication is the route taken, generally people have to take
it regularly and taking a pill every day is not always that easy to do
or remember. Also all medications tend to have some side effects. Dr.
Peter Barglow is a top professional psychiatrist who has done a lot of
work with adolescent women. He is in Berkeley and you can see if your
insurance would cover it. Exercise can be a wonderful counter measure,
also making sure your daughter is getting enough sleep, nutrition is
important in easing women thru monthlies. Iron deficiencies, vitamin
B, sunshine, check these things out. We all spend way to much time
sending best wishes
I wonder if anyone can help out. Single mom, DD is in 7th grade,
started her period last year (she never told me). I was always
completely open about my own, we discussed it a bit I think before
hers started. So here's the situation.
For the 3rd time now, I have found a mess of bloodied
panties ''hidden away''. I talked to her about it the first time, and
assumed she was just uber embarrased since her period was such a new
thing, and assumed it woulnd't happen again. Thing is, I completely
don't understand why she's doing this! We have pads, she knows how
to use them, and how to wrap TP around and dispose... Why not use
them? Has anyone ever experienced *anything* like this? What did
you do? What was it based on?
I'm at a loss (and a little grossed out as well), feel like I've
failed in some big way as a mom! Any advice? How would you
approach it with her?
HI--I don't know if this is your daughter's issue but for the first few years of her period
daughter found it ''gross'' to wash out stains from accidents incurred by her period--and
there were many, especially with pads. I realized she didn't know what to do with them
otherwise so she stashed them somewhere. She was 10 and overwhelmed by the whole
business. So you might consider talking to her about how to handle the evidence of
Dear Bewildered, I can relate. My daughter is now almost 18 and has
had her period for almost 4 years now. She STILL can't seem to bring
supplies with her to school or wear them when she has her period. We
seem to always have stuff hanging in the bathroom that has been rinsed
out! I think it's a matter of growing up and taking responsibility for
herself. I've also been open about periods, bodies, etc. but I think
they are more private at these young ages. It may take your daughter
some more time to feel comfortable talking about it with you. BUT that
doesn't mean you should stop talking about it!!! I think our words
sink in eventually. I recommend asking her to rinse out her things in
a bucket of cold water or let them soak in the bathtub for a few hours
soaked in SHOUT (a miracle product!!), that she also needs to then
throw them into the washing machine or hand wash them herself. This is
part of becoming a woman. Just keep talking about how she now needs to
take care of herself and her clothes (panties are not disposible). You
can maybe model this and hang YOUR panties out too! You know, to
create the environment where it's okay to to do this. You will always
supply pads (or tampons, at some point) and teach her how to get rid
of blood stains (cold water, shout or whatever other product you
like). Also, that she can't leave these bloody piles around! If you
can also supply a little purse she can carry pads in her school bag
she might feel less weird about it when she gets her period in school.
The nurse's office also should have extra pads. Show her how to use
two pads at night so she doesn't bleed on the sheets or get her those
longer ''nighttime'' pads. (I'm tired too of the bloody sheets!!) I
wouldn't focus so much on what she's doing now and why (you didn't do
anything wrong!), but on educating her about what she needs to do. If
you have the book, Our Bodies, Our Selves, you might leave it out in a
strategic place and bookmark the part about menstruation. She might
pick it up and start to think about it more. Sometimes information
from another source (besides you) can make it's way in! It will be
okay!! You are fine. And congratulations to your daughter, she's
PS, I wanted to have a big party when my daughter got her period with
all my woman friends, she nixed it!! ;-)
I was in a similar situation with my daughter not wanting to talk about her new period. I
too have found underwear. What you have to remember is that it is so overwhelming for
some girls. They don't want it and it surprises them. Perhaps she thinks her period has
ended and then she bleeds more. It is a lot to manage. I have tried to match my style of
talking to her about it to her obvious need for privacy. So, for example, I might whisper,
''you know honey, I found your stained underwear. If this happens to you, please tell me
right away so that we can wash them before your underwear are stained and ruined.'' I
have also told my daughter to put underwear or sheets in the washer and just tell me that
some things need to be washed, so she doesn't feel I am really looking at them. Most
importantly, in my humble opinion, is to act matter of fact and understanding. If you show
your DD that you are grossed out by something that is a result of a normal bodily
function, she will embody these feelings which might be what she is struggling with. It is
so hard for some girls when they first get their periods. Good luck.
It might help to just remember that everyone is different. Your daughter is most likely like
you in some ways and not like you in others. This is normal. It especially does not mean
there is anything wrong with her or that you have not done your job as a mom.
However - the bond that joins you when she was conceived and born may never cease so
there is more mothering to do.
I would suggest to get a hold of your feelings, and accept her initial denial. It is a
difference between knowing this is going to happen and experiencing it.
Put pads and other sanitary supplies where she can find them without asking for them.
Maybe see if you can respond to this new stage in her life with some quiet celebration.
''You are a woman now'' used to work in my day. Getting this conversation on a positive
note will open the door to other conversations. She may have emotional and physical
distress. She may need a change in nutrition as well.
Maybe some empathy - change is hard to accept for most of us, even if it is easy for you.
Personally I have found some of these conversations easier than others. There is never one
conversation. There is so much for young women to contend with in terms of attention to
their self esteem, maturing bodies, sexuality and maintaining physical and mental health.
If the situation continues to remain stuck seek professional family counseling - maybe a
woman therapist, and focus on improved communication rather than her period. Her
period hopefully will not go away but how you mutually talk about it should help the
Also are you talking about this on the phone to your friends, in public in front of her or
within earshot? If so stop it. My family did this to me and it only depended the
embarrassment. If she is in denial your need to deal with it , but with some courtesy and
you will have a more positive outcome.
I don't think you're a mom failure, as you're clearly trying to think
well about your daughter!
In seventh grade, I did the same thing your daughter is doing, and I
can tell you that I was horrified about puberty starting for me--did
not want my period, did not want breasts, any of it. I didn't want to
be a boy; I just didn't want my body to change. Hiding all evidence
(which I did for two years, I think) was a way for me to stay in
denial. The pressure I felt to celebrate my period, to want to wear a
bra, completely grossed me out. This might be happening for your
girl--you could let her know that sometimes people feel like this and
that it's okay.
FYI--now I'm 39, fine with my body, eventually accepted puberty
happening--still not, for instance, into fancy bras or anything, but
for a woman in this society pretty okay body-image wise. Hang in
there and try not to worry too much.
I was that girl
Having gone through the same kinds of periods as a teen that your
daughter is going through, I completely understand. The teachers'
behaviors are outrageous. Since it sounds like this is coming from
more than one teacher, I would go directly to the principal about it.
But it's perhaps more important for your daughter to get help with the
symptoms. It's very hard to function when you're sick two days a month.
I took birth control pills starting my senior year in high school,
even though I did not need them for birth control. It made a world of
difference. I tried going off them and the symptoms returned, so I
kept on them until I decided to have children. That was many, many
years ago. I've had no resulting medical problems, and the pill is a
whole lot safer now than it was in those days. Also,
anti-prostaglandins such as prescription-size doses of ibuprofin may
help (those were not available back then).
Do your daughter a favor - take her to a gynecologist and talk about
treatment for those symptoms. She does not have to live with them.
Frustrated Mom ... you have not failed. Try to remember what it was
like when you first started your period, especially if it was before
your friends. Perhaps anxious, nervous, embarrassed, grossed out.
My daughter started hers at least a year before many of her friends.
Here's what we did ... First, we had a candid talk about using pads
and changing them often so she doesn't start to smell. We always
kept an emergency baggie in her backpack supplied with 2 or 3 pads
and extra panties. When my daughter started her period, I make up a
soaking bucket on top of the washing machine. I take a couple of
tablespoons of laundry detergent and some Cloxox 2 and make a
soaking mixture. Then the panties have had time to soak when I get
around to do laundry. I also ask her to rinse her panties in the
shower in the morning, since soiling usually takes place at night
when she sleeps. I also bought several sizes of pads. Thicker,
longer ones for nights and heavier days. Thinner, full size pads
with wings for days, etc. I also showed her how to roll her pads and
wrap them up in the wrapper that comes with the new pads. Show her
anything you can think of that you probably take for granted. Your
goal is to empower her, make her feel more in control.
Finally, at her annual doctor's exam, I asked the doctor if she
could wear tampons if she was a virgin. Yes, most girls can but it
might take some trial and error. I think American Girls has a ''body''
book that specifically guides young girls about how to insert a
tampon. I stayed out of this one. I bought the smallest O.B. tampons
they make for starting out and left them in her bathroom. I
suggested she try tampons after about a year after her period
started. I could tell she was getting tired of the ''mess'' involved
with pads. After some time, she was successful and it really made
the monthly cycle much better. She's moved on to larger tampons and
only has bleed through at night when she sleeps.
She is much happier now. I think it also became easier when her
girlfriends started their periods and talked about it.
It gets better ... I promise!
Ihave had a similar experience with my 13-year-old. I found a
half-used tampon hidden in our bathroom and when I asked my girl if
her period had started, she swore up and down that it must have been a
friend's! I was worried this was abnormal and meant she was
rejecting her femininity. When I asked her psychologist about this,
she replied that some girls do conceal their periods in the beginning
and it was common for girls to be messy about their hygiene. My girl,
now 14 1/2, has left used pads on the floor of her bedroom (totally
grossed out my husband), not used pads at all so her clothes were
stained, just thrown away messy panties, and left used pads in
underwear she puts in the laundry, which I wash. Explaining nicely how
to handle used ones hasn't accomplished anything. I'm somewhat grossed
out too. I've mentioned that to her casually, but I don't want to
stress it because of the negative message it gives her. All I can
figure out is to continue being matter-of-fact about her hygiene,
hoping that it eventually will sink in.
Hi - She may very well be using pads or tampons and still have
underwear issues - my daughter ends up with dirty underwear all the
time b/c i think it's often hard to find a clean bathroom at school or
she just forgets when it's time to change her tampon. It's also quite
natural for kids to become private at this age. We're the most open
house in the world and even so my daughter became much more private at
about this time. In any case, however she chooses to handle it is her
choice - and she'll deal with the consequences even if it gets to the
point of stink in her room. I'm sure the fear of bleeding through her
clothes will get her to handle it gracefully at some point. I wouldn't
My 13 year old daughter gets bad menstrual cramps and
headaches. I never had bad cramps but I have had roommates
who had them so I sympathize. I have recommended all of the
tricks I know - Advil, Raspberry Leaf Tea, Pelvic
exercises, hot pads. Are there any other tips that the
community has found that works with teens and their cramps?
She has a lot of anxiety about the pain which makes it
worse so I am trying to help her relax and meditate. I know
there are many tips but I need something that works for a
I had horrible cramps when I was a teen. I remember
throwing up at school, they were so bad, and also laying
with a heating pad wishing I were dead. At 18 our doctor
put me on the pill and that was a life saver. It did not
make me feel like I could go out and have sex. What I
discovered as I got older, and also give to my daughter, is
Ibuprofen. But you MUST use it right when you begin to feel
the slightest twinge, or if she is expecting cramps, say the
next day, I would have her take it that night. It is the
only 'over the counter' I have found that works.
Hugs to her. Cramps are the worst!!!
Please talk to your daughter's doctor about going on
the pill or taking something stronger for the pain. There is no reason for your daughter to suffer
so much that she has anxiety about pain.
My daughter had horrible cramps when she started
menstruating at 13. She would lie in a ball for up to 6
hours moaning, she would vomit, she'd miss school. She's
now 19 and it has improved with age, although sometimes
she has a throwback day. Her doc said definitely Aleve
over all those others, between 2-4 tablets with crackers
or toast. I told her to keep it to 2 but she recently
confessed that she always did 4. She had to catch it at
the very first sign or it didn't work, which means if the
onset was during sleep she was out of luck. She kept
crackers and Aleve by her bed. The Aleve worked to keep it
down to normal cramps. She had tried tylenol, ibuprofen, &
others but only Aleve worked. A bath as hot as she could
stand it also helped, sometimes she did two a few hours
apart. Those disposable abdominal heating pads you can buy
at Longs help her & last 6-8 hours, allowing her to go to
class if the cramps are closer to normal. She still always
has SOME cramps and uses those all the time. Is at college
now and still has Aleve by the bed.
- hope this helps
Mugwort, an herb that grows wild in the Berk hills, can be
purchased at Lhasa Kharnak Herb Store in Berk -- on
Telegraph and Shattuck. Soak (brew) a tablespoon in hot
water, by pouring boiling water over the leaves. The
longer you soak, the stronger the tea. It's strong
tasting, very medicinal -- but two cups a month, any time
during the cycle -- but before the actual bleeding will
probably take care of the cramping. Its discovery was a
goddess-send (!) for me in my bleeding years, and now that
they're over, I wish every girl would discover this simple,
natural remedy -- that is preventive and meant to treat the
monthly rythmn flow rather than any particular incidence of
I'm another parent dealing with yet another highly-
charged, emotionally over-wrought 13 year old girl, who
gets extremely angry, sad and derisive. Some of it has
genuine causes (best friend moved to a foreign country,
high school application stress) but a lot just feels
hormonal. She also has very painful, irregular periods,
which have been this way for over a year. This is no
small thing, as she has gotten to the point of grabbing
the steering wheel while I was driving and, on another
occasion, getting physical with me. I am exploring
therapy, but, I'm wondering what people think, and if
anyone with a difficult and distraught daughter with her
type of menstration experience ever tried birth-control
pills. I remember girls trying this when I was a teen,
but I've heard there are more concerns around BC pills
these days and wonder what the thoughts are about them.
My daughter's pediatrician suggested we try it, but I'm
apprehensive. Anyone who can shed light on this dilemma
would be much appreciated.
My sister uses the pill for the reasons you describe - but
didn't start until college.
From what you describe - whatever the reason, your
daughter's behavior are far outside of the lines
of ''reasonable'' moodiness. Grabbing the steering wheel is
DANGEROUS and the pill won't fix that. Please get a
therapist involved. It sounds like you can both use the
support and intervention.
I think 13 is too young to be responsible for a daily pill
and hormones - whether they are the culprit or not - are
powerful and you're adding more to her system.
get clear on boundaries.
Dear Anon, hang in there. Absolutely get a team that you trust together, like
a therapist and or an md. I have heard and have watched teens do better on a
birth control pill. Some parents will tell you it's just hormones and it will
pass. It probably will but in the meantime it sounds like your daughter is
hurting. Listen to her and let her know you will help her feel better, I think
sometimes the fact that you are willing to let them try something makes them
understand that you are really there. The pill takes away that ridiculous
waiting for the period, and can help even things out. They aren't perfect and
sometimes the side effects can cause turmoil but...you will be doing
something. I don't think you can go wrong with therapy, just interview and
get one you really feel on the same page with, one that will talk to YOU.
Therapy can also bring out more intense issues, so be prepared, it may not,
but it could. Then know that you have more support than you know, even
silently. It is really hard and you worry, so many moms and dads are going
through the same thing or something like it. I am sure you have a beautiful,
smart daughter, hold on and have faith.
another teen mom
I'm a mom of 3 girls. My first two went on birth control
pills (bcp) at about 14/15. The first for very painful
periods, the second for the same and she was more
labile/moody. I've never regretted my decision. They're
now 21 and 19, still on bcp. It definitely helped them w/
pain, school attendance, taking less over the counter pain
meds, no worry about their side effects. Also helped to
stabilize the mood of the 2nd daughter. It didn't make
them have sex early-some people worry about that. The
older girl uses the patch as she had issues w/ nausea. The
2nd has always used the pill. Again, I never saw negative
effects, they also liked the fact that they could control
when their period came (not more than a couple of days one
way or the other), like if there was going to be a dance
at school or weekend skiing, etc. Hope this helps, you
can contact me if you want. Oh, and therapy could
definitely help...Good luck
When I was in high school (I'm 49 now)I began taking birth
control pills to control the terrible cramps I had from my
period each month. I had often spent 1 to 1 1/2 days in
bed and often had to come home from school. The birth
control pills definitely reduced the cramps significantly.
I wasn't moody from my period, so I can't speak to that
aspect. Also, today birth control pills generally use much
lower dosages of hormones, so I don't know how that might
You may also want to consider whether or not being on
birth control might make your daughter more prone to
becoming sexually active at a younger age than you might
hope for her.
Puberty is always mentioned as to be between 11-13. My
daughter is 14-1/2 and has still not started her period. I'm trying
not to be too concerned about it. I was told not to worry until she is
15. Any comments from other women out there!
Is your daughter athletic and/or very thin? I was both and
my period didn't start until I was 17. No ongoing problems
related to starting late, though
Well, my girl didn't get her period until she was
precisely 14 1/2, and I was over 15 when mine arrived. (My
mother and sister started late as well. We're all tall,
small-boned WASPs; there is a theory that taller females
start later.) My daughter was relieved when she finally
started, but now she complains about PMS and cramps and
what she refers to as ''dumb design.''
I don't know how concerned your daughter is, but I don't
think you need to worry about it. (For what it's worth,
EARLY menarche is thought to be one of the various risk
factors in breast cancer.) If she is genuinely worried,
think about taking her to your gynecologist for a talk. I
did this because I was tired of hearing my daughter
complain about not having a period. Our doctor gave her a
brief exam and said, ''You'll have it in 6 to 9 months,''
and she was correct.
My daughter started her period at 13.5 (I think that's about
when I started mine). Then it was so irregular for 1 year,
which is what I was worried about, until an accupuncturist I
took her to said her body was just gearing up because she
wasn't ovulating yet. I think you don't have to worry about
it even until 16. We are all different. I think the older
they get though, and when more of their friends start and
they don't have it, they start to worry. Just help her to
stay calm about it, and keep her healthy. Look, she will
have it for 30+ years!!
I am not in a position to diagnose your daughter's
condition, but I can share my own experience. I too was a
late starter and was ultimately diagnosed with polycystic
ovaries (PCO) at age 18 at my first OB/gyn appointment. I
started my period around 14 1/2 but had an irregular cycle
and eventually (by age 18 or 19)heavy breakthrough
bleeding. Discuss your concerns with her doctor to find
out what's going on. If it is PCO, it's easy to diagnose,
fairly common and totally manageable. Now, my cycles are
normal, run like clock-work, and I was able to have normal
healthy pregnancies/deliveries. Good luck with your
Been There Too
We're all tall,
small-boned WASPs; there is a theory that taller females
It's the other way around. When a young woman gets her
period, estrogen is circulating and it is estrogen which
causes ''closure of the growth points'' of the long bones.
Thus, once estrogen starts circulating, growth of the
bones is curtailed and eventually stops.
Females who have a late onset of periods tend to grow
taller than the ones who start their menses earlier.
I think the range of ''normal'' is much wider than we
think. For what it is worth, I did not start until I was
almost 17. And even then, I was in my early twenties
before things settled down, and I actually had a period
every month. (I've been told that I probably wasn't
really ovulating until then.) There was nothing
particularly noteworthy about me then or now: not short,
not tall, not fat, not thin, not terribly athletic, but
not a sloth either. I have 3 sisters, and neither they nor
my mother started so late. Who knows why I did? I had no
other problems of any sort and went on to have 2 lovely
chiildren, and a perfectly normal life...
My mother did take me to the doctor, because I was
concerned about it. He said that everything was fine, and
that he could cause me to have a period, but that there
was no point to that, and it would come in due time. It
did. I would take the youngster to the doctor, just to
make sure that everything is all right, and to re-assure
her. Assuming the news is good, you can stop worrying
My period didn't start until 3 months before I turned 15.
I was totally worried, since all my friends already had
started. My daughter didn't get her period until she was
exactly the same age, but instead of being worried all that
time, she was glad -- fewer hassles with sports, swimming,
etc. For each of us, once it started, it was quite
irregular, not settling down to a dependable cycle for a
year or so. If your daughter is otherwise healthy, not
super-skinny or overtraining in sports, it's probably
normal, but if SHE'S worried, have her talk with her
My daughter is 15 y.o. and hasn't started her period. She
has been concerned so her pediatrician has suggested she
be referred to a pediatric endocrinologist. Before the
referral, she wanted an x-ray taken of her wrist to check
her bone age against her chronological age. It turns out
that her bone age is 13.5 years. My daughter is very
petite and slender; she looks much younger than 15. They
call her condition constitutional delay. Essentially it
means that her growth has not caught up to her real age.
Both doctors are not concerned and feel that her period
may start within the next 2 years. I think that this
information has calmed the concerns of my daughter.
My daughter will be 16 in October. Every time she gets her
period, she has extreme pain, not just the typical cramps.
It starts a day or two before her period actually starts.
She gets an ''upset stomach'', tummy ache, diarrehea etc.
When her period starts she starts throwing up and has to
take 800mg of motrin a couple times a day. It seem these
problems have gotten worse over time. Now it's affecting
her school. One morning I heard deathly screams coming from
upstairs and rushed up to find her laying on the bathroom
floor kicking her legs and pounding her fists (just like a
three year old having a tantrum!). I wish there was
something I could do to help her. Her periods started at
the age of ten.
I mentioned this to my OB/GYN and she said to bring her in
and she would probably put her on the pill. I don't want to
do that at this early age. Are there any other tried and
trusted remedies out there? Any suggestions would be
I would take her to the gynecologist first but then try
Chinese medicine specifially acupuncture and herbs. They can
be quite effective in helping menstrual difficulties.
likes chinese medicine
Whether or not you want to put your daughter on the pill,
you should seriously think about having her evaluated by a
gynecologist. I had terrible menstrual cramps from age 11
until my first pregnancy ended 3 months prematurely at 29.
When I had trouble conceiving afterwards, laparoscopy showed
extensive endometriosis, which, the doctor said, probably
caused the painful menstrual cramps (and the cramping
perhaps can then extend the amount of endometriosis, which
is the lining of the uterus lodged and growing outside of
the uterus). Birth control pills were one of the treatments
for endometriosis at the time, as well as surgery. That was
20+ years ago, so who knows what more has been developed. If
this is the problem, how it is treated now could affect her
reproductive future, so it's worth having her problem
evaluated. And for the symptoms--heat, diet, moderate
exercise (the last thing you feel like doing)all helped.
A sympathetic former sufferer
You might not want to hear this, but I would let your
daughter go on the pill. I had similar experiences at her
age, before the pill was safe and common, and was
absolutely miserable 2-3 days out of every month. I
remember being sick in school, public bathrooms, in dorm
rooms, having to stay home from school and social events
regularly. When I finally went on the pill, shortly before
I became sexually active, my quality of life took a quantum
I would rush your daughter to an accupuncturist. I've had really good luck
with menstrual cycle stuff using chinese herbs. Find someone who really
knows there herbs, that's the key. They don't always work like a pain
suppsressant but work to change the ''cycle''. It may take a several
completely turn it around. You could look on the BPN website for a
take her to a chinese doctor who I go to and who I've taken my daughter to
for menstrual issues (not the same ones as your daughter's). Her name is Dr.
Li, she's at 326 15th St in Oakland her number is 835-1428. Her english is
not great and it's no new-age office, but she's a teacher and knows her
I hope it works out, it sounds awful.
My 10-1/2 year old daughter just started her period (!!) and the
pads I had on hand for this occasion (thinking it would be
somewhat farther in the future) are too wide for her.
Pantyliners are about the right width, but not absorbent
enough. I've checked the archives, but there are no
recommendations specifically for young girls or petite women who
may face the same problem. Any suggestions?
You might want to try Always brand Ultra Thin Slender Petites.
They are in the pink packages and can be found at drugstores
and Target. I bought these for my daughter who started her
period when she was 11. They are narrower than other Always
pads, although not by much, but are less bulky than other
brands. Good luck
I am very petite myself and when I started my periods, I
believe I used Always brand pads. However, I hated the
bulkiness of even the most thinnest one so I switched to OB
tampons. The other kinds were not a good fit either. I know
there is an ick factor with not having an applicator with the
OBs but they work the best for slender people.
There are ''slim'' or ''slender'' pads available at most drugstores
and grocery stores. That's what my daughters use.
''Always'' brand makes a ''slender'' size (ultra-thin, but quite
absorbent). The pads are wrapped in pink, and available at a good
price (often on sale) at Target. My daughter (also started at 10
1/2) used them for quite a while, and I find I like to use them,
too (though not on extra-heavy days).
My 10 year daughter started her menstrual cycles a few months
ago. She is starting to get severe migraine-like headaches right
at menses every month. They come on suddenly and she is very
light sensitive. Her father gets migraines too. I have been
doing research on treatments on the Web. Please write if you
have these headaches and have any suggestions for my daughter to
try. I thought we could try giving her ibuprofen around the
time she may get these. Do other headache medications help,
homeopathy, herbal remedies? Thanks!
I started getting menstrual migraines before I even began
menstruating, around 8 years old and they continued until I had
a hysterectomy (not the recommended solution). When I was a
child the key was keeping me calm, it was so painful that I
would begin crying, this would worsen the pain.
As an adult I have tried all the migraine medications and find
that they cause too many side-effects. I have had the best luck
with Ibuprofen, but I was lucky in the sense I did not have
severe nausea with my headaches, if your child has nausea the
Ibuprofen may be to harsh for her stomach. There is a migraine
center in San Francisco, you may want to check out.
Here's my formula to combating migraines: 1. Take Ibuprofen; 2.
Drink a little caffeinated tea or coffee (my coffee addiction
began at a young age), no sugar; 3. Take a warm shower, let the
water flow over neck and head; 3. Lay down in a dark room, with
a cool cloth covering forehead and eyes. I usually go into a
little shock when I have migraine, so for me I need to be kept
warm (except for wash cloth on head). When I was kid I really
needed one of my parents to sit with me, gently massaging my
head, this helped me calm down.
The hard thing for me as a child, was that I could feel my
migraines coming on and I knew I basically needed to go into a
self-imposed isolation, leaving my friends or a fun activity,
but the times I didn't I suffered even more.
I had no luck with acupuncture, homeopathy, herbs, etc (not to
say that you won't), but I did have luck in preventative
medicine. Here's what I avoided the week before my menses,
chocolate, strawberries, (go on-line to see some typical
migraine triggers) and go figure roller-skating.
I am now post menopause, but I used to get migraines with
every period, and I believe this is very common. I tried
everything, but ibuprofen was the only thing that helped, and
the relief was swift. I found that after a fairly short time, I
needed at least 800 milligrams for the drug to be effective,
but I started with 400 and that worked for a time. Hope this
I get those headaches also. My GYN said it's hormonal. They come on right before I
get my period and end with the begining of blood flow. Maybe 24 hours total. I am
43 and didn't have them before the last two years, though I don't remember if I had
them as a teenager, I got my period when I was 13. I try not to take the ibuprophen
because it's not great for your liver on a regular basis (though I don't know what it
can do if you took one pill once a month). I use lavender oil. I rub it on my temples
and under my nose so I can breathe it in. It seems to lighten the headache. You
might try asking a homoepath for a rememdy for your girl. I'll bet once she's had
her period for several years and it's regular the headaches will go away. But for now
try lavender! good luck.
I don't have much to offer here, but the headaches probably
aren't just ''like'' migraines, they probably are migraines. A
friend of mine got migraines when she started birth control
pills, and found that migraines were listed as possible side
effects, so they definitely can be hormone related. I hope that
other readers can offer treatment advice.
I get migraines, and I'm not sure what age is appropriate to start prescription
medication for headaches, but if 10 is not too young, I had great success with Imitrex
(sp?) or for OTC stuff, I liked Excedrin Migraine. I also don't know your values
regarding caffeine, but that was really the only thing that I could do (non medicine) to
ward off a huge migraine attack. That and a dark room with a cold washcloth on my
eyes. Poor girl, I know how she feels.
I got migraines starting in my early teens but was not diagnosed until my late 20's. I
just thought I got ''sick'' (headache, nausea, light and sound sensitivity). So
congratulations on diagnosing the problem so early. Excedrin makes an OTC
medicine called ''Excedrin Migraine'' (I think that is the name) that contains
acetominephen, aspirin and caffeine. I have found that to be effective, esp. if you
can catch it early. BTW, Tylenol markets a product as a migraine medicine, but it is
exactly the same as the regular stuff so don't be misled.
--former migraine suffer
I suffered from migranes in high school and in college. While
in college, I was fortunate to work at an acupuncture school, Yo-
San University, in Santa Monica, CA. While at work, a migrane
struck. I tried to hold out, but it got worse and worse, so I
finally told the staff. One of the doctors/professors, Dr. Lu-
Biao, massaged the migrane away by massaging the large muscle
along the back of my neck with upward strokes on the side that
the migrane occured (I was experiencing the stabbing pain that
occurs behind the eye on my left side). He continually stroked
the muscle in my neck with both thumbs from the top of my
shoulder to the bottom of my skull. It was uncomfortable, but
it didn't hurt. He warned me beforehand that the massage
pressure would have to be hard and that I might bruise. In
about 5 minutes, I felt the pain literally move from behind my
eye to the top of my head, then it dissappeared. I experienced
a little muscular soreness for about a half hour afterward, but
did not bruise. Dr. Lu-Biao studied at a hospital in Beiging,
and he is one of the best acupuncturists I've ever been to. He
told me that I could teach someone to do this to me. I stopped
having dibilitating migranes and rarely get headaches nowadays,
so I haven't had the occasion to use the technique. You may
want to consult with an very experienced acupuncturist to teach
you the technique. If you like, please feel free to contact me
if you would like to discuss the technique. She's so young, and
I would take her to an acupuncturist who is experienced in Tui-
na massage and acupuncture who works with children. This
experience made me trust traditional Chinese medicine with all
my heart, and I sincerely believe that this could be a drug-free
answer for your family.
I started getting migraines in college and tried various
medications to manage them including 800 mg. ibuprofen 4x/day.
Finally when I was pregnant and the migraines were really out
of control I tried acupuncture which saved my life! I highly
recommend Dennis von Elgg in Berkeley.
I used to get nasty sinus-migraine-like headaches the day
before and the day that my menses started. I finally asked my
health practitioner if there was anything that could be done.
She suggested that they were due to an 'estrogen drop' and
increasing estrogen might help. I've found that eating a diet
rich in naturally occuring phytoestrogens (spinach,
soybean/tofu, sprouts, cabbage, beans) really helps me to keep
the headaches at bay.
I've had menstrual migraines since early adolescence and
finally found Imitrex about ten years ago. It's the only
medication that's helped me. When I was about 13, I was put on
phenobarbitol, a very bad idea as it's addictive (luckily I
didn't take it for long.) Kaiser prescribed some ineffective
cheaper meds at first, but when I heard about Imitrex from a
friend I insisted on trying it and it's gotten rid of the
migraine very quickly. Don't know if it's okay for children,
but it's worth asking about. (There are several related drugs
in the same family, so maybe one of them would work.) There
are also drugs around now to prevent migraines. Migraines are
truly awful, especially for kids. Your child is lucky that you
are taking this seriously, as many adults seem to think kids'
headaches ''can't be that bad.''
So relieved to be free of pain
Hi. I've had migraines all my life (since 3 years) and also have
a family history of these. I've been on and off daily meds with
varying degrees of success since age 11. In my experience, there
are a few options for your daughter. If you'd like to go the
medication route, there are medications that can be prescribed
for migraines that arise on or around the time of menstruation.
These are taken daily, but just in this sensitive period. You can
talk with an neurologist about this (I'd go to a neurologist
rather than her pediatrician, as migraine management can be
pretty complex and you want to ensure the physician knows what
s/he is doing).
If you prefer to try to avoid medications, a great book to read
is Heal Your Headache, the 1-2-3 Step Approach to... (or
something like that - I can't remember the author). It talks in
depth about migraine triggers including those we have no control
over (menstruation, baromentric pressure, etc.), some control
over (sleep patterns, stress), and lots of control over (foods).
It also talks about how triggers are cumulative, so that a food
that does not trigger a migraine one day might trigger one
another day. The food list is far more extensive than any I have
seen anywhere else, and the explanation of how foods contribute
to migraines is far more clear. I found it very useful, have
adopted the diet approach, and have better resolution of my
migraines than ever before (I still get them, but not quite as
badly and not as regularly - used to be almost daily). It may be
that if your daughter just avoids trigger foods around the time
of menstruation, she will be less likely to experience a
migraine. Different people have different sensitivities, but it
is well worth a try. Hope this is helpful, and good luck.
Please keep the advice about menstrual headaches coming!
A couple of things that work for me:
-- eat lots of anti-oxidants when the headache is begining to
come on... especially red beets, blueberries, sweet potato,
-- eat omega-rich seafood like salmon at the begining of the
-- enough water -- but not too much water
-- try to make sure that bowel movements are regular leading up
to and through menstruation
-- High doses of motrin or motrin combined with tylenol works
in extreme cases
-- And... the miracle cure: peppermint oil rubbed on the
shoulders, neck and a little bit on the temples can make the
headache melt away in minutes
Headache Sufferer Since My 30s
Our 11 1/2 year old daughter is developing physically at a
pretty fast clip, and is bound to be getting her period for the
first time one of these days. I remember this as being a total
non-event in the life of my family and between me and my own
mom. But somehow it seems like such an important threshhold,
and as her mom, I'd like to offer her some special ritual, or
blessing, to mark this significant passage into the next huge
chapter of her life. Although we are not an especially
religious family, our daughter does speak Hebrew and any Jewish
rituals would be especially meaningful - although by no means
are we limited to things that emanate from this tradition. I'd
really love to hear what other moms have done and what other
daughters have found significant. Many thanks,
Preparing for yet another passage
I have a stepdaughter who is 13 and got her period about a year
ago. Unfortunately, her mother and I completely disagree on the
way to deal with it, but I would suggest that you take into
consideration how your daughter would feel about it. Does she
seem to want or would mind a big deal being made of it? Many
girls I think would rather it be a ''non-event'' as you say it was
for you. For me, I literally ran home, came through the front
door and yelled ''Mom!'' and she came to me and said ''You got your
period!'' That's all I remember...she prepared me for what would
happen matter of factly and that all I would experience was
normal and would happen to all girls at one time or another. It
was an easy process for me. For my stepdaughter, her mother has
made her feel ashamed of her body, wha! t's happening to her, and
been told that she's too young to use tampons (it seems to me if
you are menstruating, you are old enough) and consequently this
''passage'' has been a horrible experience for her and she doesn't
like to talk about it.
I would warmly suggest that you sit down with her
BEFORE it happens, tell her you've noticed her body changing and
what she can expect, the gammut of emotions she might feel, etc.
etc. and that it's all normal, most importantly. That she can
talk to you (hopefully) and will gladly answer any questions she
might have. Overstress the normality of it and that it happens to
ALL girls eventually, but not always at the same time (''Why
hasn't Susie, my best friend gotten it yet?'')
Been thru that passage
I heard a very cool idea recently: I guess it was the mother (or
some other female relative or friend of the family) who invited
several women to a get-together for the girl. The purpose was
simply to acknowledge her transition to womanhood. It ended up
that each woman in turn talked about her own experience of
getting her period. Having had a very awkward experience with my
mother who was too embarassed to say much of anything, this
sounded great to me.
You have a lovely idea to make this event special for your
daughter. I would go to the Library at the Jewish Community
Center on Walnut at Rose in Berkeley. Check with the librarian
for resources. I have seen some rituals for women's events on
hand outs and I would think there would be some books with
suggestions and sample ceremonies/blessings by now, too.
The afternoon after my very first period, a huge, beautiful
floral arrangement (pink roses, my favorite at the time) was
delivered to me with a card. It was my first time having flowers
delivered to me. They were from my dad. ''Congratulations on
becoming a woman'' , it said. I felt silly, wonderful, proud and
grown-up all at once. I will never forget being acknowldged by
my father in this way. Mom took me out of school for the day and
we shopped and lunched to celebrate.
When my period came (for which I was fully prepared), my mother
told my dad who congratulated me. It mortified me and I can
remember how I felt about it to this day.
Whatever you do with your daughter, please talk to her first and
make sure she really wants some acknowledgement of the event.
why not give her a mikva? I don't like the idea of the ritual
bath as a means to wash away the impurities of having your
period but maybe you could transform the ritual into one
where she is nurtured by her mother. make it special with
flower petals and essential oils and massage her-it could
be like you are annointing her with oil. another idea is to
make or buy a piece of red jewlery so she can feel beautiful
and celebrate her blood every month.
daniel gordis's book ''becoming a jewish parent'' has some
interesting info about judaism and the cycle of life including
puberty and adolescence.
I think it's sweet that you want to do something for your
daughte! r, but please make sure that she wants something done
before you go ahead with anything. When I got my first period
(at 13), I told my mom and she ran and told my dad and I was
soooooo embarrassed! I wished I had never told them at the
time, but of course I needed to so they could buy me supplies.
I had friends who never told their parents for months and just
bought stuff on their own because they were too embarrassed to
tell their parents too. As an adult, I know that starting
menstruation is nothing to be embarrassed about and is a big
step for a girl, but that is a difficult age and a young girl
may not want that kind of attention drawn to herself. Something
to think about before planning a ritual. Good luck!
What I always *wished* my mother had done was to take me out to
a nice grown-up just-us-girls lunch - someplace like the
Nordst! rom cafe or a tea room or something slightly girly - to
If you want to get more elaborate, there are a couple nice
Jewish-based rituals described on Ritualwell.org - see
I Googled ''first period rituals'' and got a bunch of good sites.
My mother didn't do anything to acknowledge my periods
starting, other than buying me sanitary napkins. My best
girlfriend's mother had made it a special deal by taking her
out for a special dress-up meal, buying her perfume and a new
nightgown. I was so incredibly jealous and felt like
my ''special moment into womanhood'' was completely overlooked.
I think it's great that you want to do something for her; I
wish my mom had done something for me. It probably depends on
what kind of relationship you have with your girl as to what
would ! appeal to her and not be embarassing. Good luck.
When my daughter was your daughter's age, I talked to her
about what she might want to do to celebrate her first
period. Because she was (is) a Disney freak, she said, ''Go
to Disneyland!'' She did get her period right after turning 12,
and yup, we went to Disneyland shortly thereafter. Not
exactly a spriritual, Jewish-related ritual, but for her, it was
precisely the celebration she wanted. While we were there, I
went to the crystal shop and bought a small, crystal box with
yes, a Disney character on it. I had it engraved with the date
of her first period. At the risk of sounding tacky and politically
incorrect to attach this womanly event to something as
mass-media as Disney -- I will say that my daughter thought
this was way cool. I think the important thing was that I
honored her choice in this matter and that t! he event was
seen as a true ''celebration.''
I just wanted to point our that for some girls/women, this is a
very very priate and personal thing. She may find getting her
period to be embarrassing rather than joyful and may not want
you to tell anyone at all, much less throw a party!
I'm Jewish, but I don't think this is a Jewish ritual. Right
after my first period came, my mom said, ''I know this sounds
weird, but I have to do it. I need to smack you across the face
so that your cheek gets a little red. My mom did this to me
when I got my first period. It's to bring some blood to the
face, because you are losing some blood now.'' I know this is
totally bizarre and I kind of screamed/cried when she said it,
but it didn't really hurt. Afterwards I felt kind of connected
to my ancestors by her doing that. I mean, there's no! way
that's a modern ritual. It has to be ancient!
My daughter just got her period (at 13). I knew it would be coming too, but she
wasn't with me when it actually came. She's kind of a shy person about her body and
was not that comfortable talking about all the bloody details! We didn't have the pad
and tampon party that I wanted, but I did get her a special bag to put her supplies in
to carry in her backpack and a little fertility figurine and quietly gave them to her.
We also talked about keeping track of it on the calendar. She marks it in RED.
She's slowly talking a little more about it but really keeps it to herself most months.
I told her as she gets older she and her girlfriends will start to talk more freely
about bodily fluids, but that I woud try not to embarass her too much now. I didn't
want to do anything that felt false and neither did she. It's really cool when ! our
periods come together and I mention that when I can. So, it's just a kind of on-
going thing, a celebration/acknowledgement of life, and growth. Mazeltov!
mother of young woman
I don't have any suggestions about rituals to acknowledge your
daughter's first period, but I wanted to suggest that you try to
coax out of her what she'd be comfortable with. Some girls would
not want an event made out of their first period. At my
daughter's school, they showed one of those movies that we've
all seen to both the mothers and the daughters. In the movie,
the mom gushes about the arrival. My friend's daughter looked
over to her mom and asked sincerely, ''You're not going to act
like that are you? - please don't''. When my own daughter had
her first period at an all too early age of 10 1/2 I took her to
dinner for some girl time. Good luck! They grow up too fast now!
When I was like 12 my mom told me there was a little box under the sink
in my bathroom with pads and tampons and stuff, and then when I got my
first period I opened the box and behind all the stuff there was a
little ring box with a sweet little white gold ring in it. I still wear
the ring and it was a nice way for my mom to acknowledge this milestone
without totally embarrassing me or being super emotional.
I vaguely recall seeing an old Saturday Night Live skit in which the
mother (Jane Curtin) makes a big deal about her daughter (Larraine
Newman)'s first period, throws her a big party, gives her presents,
tells the dad, etc. Its all quite funny and over-the-top, but as I was
laughing, I was also thinking, ''boy, I'm SO glad that's not MY mom!''
The way you wish to acknowledge your daughter's first period depends on
her, too. Maybe she would like to make it a big deal. Maybe (like me)
she'd be happier if it were a total non-event.
I just came across an article in Mothering magazine, the Nov/Dec
2001 issue entitled: First Moon the Making of a Menarche Ritual.
It includes tips for a successful ceremony; first blood celebrations
around the globe; and includes a few resources:
www.womensway.ws (book How to Celebrate your Daughter's Coming of Age)
www.bodymatters.com www.mum.org (Museum of Menstruation and Women's
www.celebrategirls.com (ceremonial kit First Moon: Passage to
www.bellpineartfarm.com (Menstrual Goddess statues)
Can someone please advise whether it is in order for my 11-
year old to go for her swimming classes during her periods.
She does not use tampons. The swimming teacher said that it
is okay, but I am not so sure. Thanks for the information.
I think that it is absolutely not okay for your child to
swim during her period using napkins. With a tampox, all
blood products are kept inside the body; the use of a
sanitary napkin would allow all blood product to contaminate
the pool water.
I am surprised that anyone would advise you to the contrary.
Might now be a good time to help your daughter to learn to
use a tampon??
Adamant about hygiene
Books about Menstruation
My 11-year-old daughter just started menstruating. I am interested in good
books to help her see a positive side to this and to help her deal with
the fear of how to handle dealing with it a school - restrooms, P.E.
classes, etc. She did pretty well over the weekend, after the initial
shock, but was really scared about how to deal with it at school. I
printed some info from the Internet, put out by one of the "feminine
protection" companies, but it was obviously written on an adult level so I
could guide her. I would like to find things that would be written at her
level so she can realize her peers will all be experiencing the same thing
and how they have handled the same problems. Thanks. Barbara
We have a wonderful book by Jean Marzollo entitled "Getting Your Period",
published by Dial Books for Young Readers. Aside from a thorough and plain
language description of anatomy and physiology there is a terrific sections
of how to handle the kinds of problems that young adolescents worry about:
What to do if your period starts at school and you bleed onto your white pants.
Some great books for girls who have started menstruating can be found at
Gaia bookstore on Shattuck. I don't remember the names, but they have
several that are written to the girl rather than to the parent.
My daughter's pediatrician recommended a wonderful book when my daughter was
about 10. I got it then and now at age 12 she reads it. It's well written
with kids in mind. It's called "Look What's Happening to My Body -- for
Girls". Don't remember the author. There's one of the same title for boys.
It covers many areas of inquiry for this age person. Very useful and
Talking to your daughter about menstruation
I wanted to start a discussion about how to talk to your daughter
about getting her period. I have 13 & 16 year old daughters and
I was recently thinking about how upset they both were on the day
they started their periods which was when they were each around 11 & 1/2.
I thought I had prepared them, but it was clear that I hadn't given them
enough support or information. I had told them several times prior
to the event that they would get their period, explained to them why
it happens, and described the experience as best I could. My older
daughter pointed out to me that it's different when girls start early
(10-12) than late. Perhaps there was no way around their disappointment,
it's a major life change. In every other circumstance where we bleed, it's
becasue we've been hurt and it's difficult to then turn that around to be
something positive, or at least, not a bad thing. What do other parents
think? What was the experience like for those girls who have already started?
Menstruation - I had prepared my daughter as much as possible for her
period but it still was a shock for her when it happened. The thing
that seemed to make it more acceptable for her was that I reminded her that
now she belongs to the sisterhood of women. I pointed out a few of her
teachers and women friends she admires and movie stars she likes and
other role models and told her that all of us experience this miracle in
preparation for motherhood. I also reminded her that, if she was
caught without supplies or got scared, any female teacher at school, or any
woman whever she is, would know how to help her. She began to feel proud
not to be a child anymore and to be a member of this very elite group. My
fear was that she would not take care of the hygienic part of the deal but
she has done beautifully.
Here is some great advice that
of one my "village members" shared with me........
I have two daughters, 22 and 18. When they started their periods at
13 and 11-1/2, respectively, their attitude was very matter-of-fact. At
first, they were hesitant to talk about their period around their father.
They both look at it as there's nothing they can do about it so why
stress over it. When they were growing up I never hid my period from them
and I answered their questions as appropriate for their age. As they
approached puberty, I started to talk more about their periods coming soon
and told them to go to a female teacher if they started at school. I bought
them supplies and put them in their bathroom. I tried to talk about
having our period as a positive rather than a negative. As my daughters were
growing up, I tried to instill in them a sense of pride about being a
My 12yr. old daughter just started her period for the first time last
month. I have always talked about it with her, emphasizing it is a normal
part of a girl's development into becoming a woman, and it is what makes us
special because without menstruation, we could not bring babies into
existance. Make it a positive point in her life, a time to celebrate being a
girl becoming a woman. Give her something special, like something from your
mother perhaps, or take her out for dinner or ice cream, whatever you know
she will think is special. Yes, I know having a period is a pain in
the long run, but when you have your baby (after the pain of that is
over) you know how special it is to be a woman.
My daughter was far from overjoyed when her period started, but she
knew exactly what to expect and did not "freak out", and was actually kind
of happy with the special attention it brought.
However, other things that go with the period, like developing
hormones and mood swings are a trickier. My daughter, who has been good
natured, gentle and NEVER trouble at school just got in trouble for
for punching a boy who was harrassing her in class. I can see the
changes in her, sometimes from one second to the next, and this is
also creating other issues at home for her bewildered little brother.
I can also see why the "Parents of Teens" list has been established!
This was run early on in the life of the Parents digest. I'm just
returning it to you from my 'file of goodies.' -- Trish
Girls reaching puberty:
it seems that everyone has a website these days. i opened a box of
tampons today and THEY even have a website. i immediately went to the
site thinking it would, at the very least, be humorous. actually, it has
information for parents and teachers on how to discuss puberty and the
issues of menstrating. it even has a section called "when dads have to be
moms" and there is a teen talk location. so, in consideration of some the
parent's recently asking for advice on this subject, i thought i would
provide the website address.
http://www.troom.com (this is the "teen room")
Similar to the message from Trish, this webstie:
from the manufacturers of Stayfree, Carefree and OB has information for
parents and teachers. I know that about 10 years ago Stayfree, et al.,
also had a "starter kit" that they would mail out with samples of their
different products and information for the young woman. The booklet was
written as though 3 different girls were sending eachother letters about
their experiences and addressed a lot of different concerns and
misconceptions. I think we found the mailaway coupon inside a regular
package of pads, I havent' looked in a package recently to see if they
still have this offer.
this page was last updated: Nov 20, 2011
BPN is now a 501(c)(3) non-profit and we are transitioning to a new website: BerkeleyParentsNetwork.org
The opinions and statements expressed on this website
are those of parents who subscribe to the
Berkeley Parents Network.
Disclaimer & Usage for
information about using content on this website.
Copyright © 1996-2015 Berkeley Parents Network