Berkeley Parents Network: High School Lunch

Berkeley Parents Network

High School Lunch

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Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Teenagers > High School Lunch

Son won't pack his own lunch - should I?

Feb 2006

What do your high schoolers do for lunch? My son is a freshman at AHS. I feel he is old enough to make his own lunch and bring it to school (I supply plenty of sandwich making food and good snacks. Choice is not a problem. He could make his lunch at night before bed. He has done this on occasion. Mostly he wants to go out and buy lunch with his friends. He uses his allowance for some of this but at $5-$10 per day, maybe 3 or 4 days per week his allowance doesn't cover, especially if he's spent money on other things. I'm wondering how other families deal with this issue. If I made his lunches, he'd be happy to take lunch. I make his lunch sometimes, but I really think he should. Any input on this would be appreciated. In past years he either got great hot lunches at school or brought his own that mostly I made. Thanks, made my own lunches in HS

I, too, made my own lunch, from age 10 on. But my husband thinks our sons (both seniors in HS) will eat better if he makes their lunches - so he does, and they do. I remind him that they are certainly old enough to make their own, but he has the time and enjoys doing it. According to our sons, their friends who buy their lunches, are envious of the homemade lunches. Ours have never bought school lunches. Too expensive! But, they are pretty lazy; I'm not sure they'd make their own! Another mom

My youngest just left for college, so I am writing in the past tense. The deal we had in high school was I made his lunch every day. If I didn't feel like making it, I gave him money to buy lunch. If he wanted to eat out with his friends, he paid for it out of his money. Because I did the food shopping and made most of the meals, I knew what we had on hand and could assemble interesting lunches quickly. I also know he could have made his own lunch but it gave me pleasure to know, that no matter what else was happening in the world, my son had a healthy and good tasting lunch which I had prepared for him. Janet

It got to be a bit of a family joke (especially when my daughter announced in church that she was thankful for her mother who made her lunch everyday) but I made lunches until my kids graduated from high school. If it's any reassurance, both kids (now 22 and 20) are able to cook and do make their own lunches. :-) (well, it's reassuring to me anyway)

I think it's up to you. Do you resent making lunches? Then definitely don't do it. Have the supplies and don't give extra allowance money for lunches. I've had lunch many a time in Berkeley where I've seen BHS kids out with friends, some with bag lunches from home, some buying. If you don't mind, look at it as one way you can show your son how much you love him! Sally

When my older daughter (now a college sophomore) was in 10th grade at Berkeley High, I decided to stop feeling guilty about making her lunch, and instead to think of making the week-day lunch as a lovingkindness practice, and also a way to get her to eat healthy, not buy junk food, and save money. I am still making lunches for my high school junior. I think to myself - i would be happy if someone made my lunch, and in less than 2 years there won't be anyone to make lunch for! It may not work for you, but it worked for me. signed -- lunch-making mom

My daughter is a freshman at Alameda High School, and I have the exact same problem. She gets $10 a week allowance and manages to eat lunch for under $3 a day at a japanese fast food place. I have a feeling she is going to get tired of sushi very soon. I also made lunch myself in high school and feel she should also, but she only takes it if I make it. I made a deal with her. If she wakes up early enough to have a decent breakfast (that she prepares and cleans up) then I will make her lunch the following night. If she doesn't have breakfast and ran out of allowance money, she has no choice but to make her own lunch. Hope that helps. Now, if I just had a system for piano practice, feeding the dog, cleaning her room etc... AHS mom

In regards to high schoolers buying or bringing lunch. Here is the solution we came to with our three children.

You have the opportunity to help your son learn two valuable lessons here. One is how to budget money and the other one is a lesson in taking care of himself.

We established an allowance for our daughters, and then let them spend it as they wished. The often bought lunch, but learned that when the money ran out, they either had to take lunch from home, not ear or hope to mooch off someone. We agreed on minimum lunch requirements (one protein, one fruit or vegetable and then whatever else they wanted). We discussed this with them so they understood our thoughts, and then made sure that the cabinet had choices they wanted.

It worked well. They learned quickly to budget their allowance, plan ahead and to eat lunch. In the long run it saved a lot of hassles and they felt independent and mature. Carolyn

I sympathize with you. My son is a senior in high school and hasn't brought a lunch from home since elementary. He'd just rather buy whatever's there, usually for $3.00 or less. My daughter is a freshman at another high school and she bought lunch the first week of school and then asked if we'd make her lunch. We do it. Maybe that is spoiling her, but her schedule is so packed with school/homework/soccer etc that she's already staying up until 10:00ish to get things done, and getting up at 5:30 just to get out the door on time. I don't have the heart to make her get up earlier or stay up later to make lunch. So I make it for her before I go to work. I guess I also feel like it's a small expression of love/support for her ... she gets to have a little something from mom in the middle of the day ... I can surprise her with a favorite candy or whatever. Too sentimental? Perhaps, but she'll probably be off to college and adult life in a few years, so I'm willing to keep the little links we have as long as I can! Usually I'm more insistent on self-reliance but this feels like a little ''connection''. If you feel that you're too busy for it, or your child has more time than you do, you can certainly make the decision that feels best to you. Lunch Mom

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