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Lesbian & Gay Parents of Teens
Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Teens, Preteens, & Young Adults > Lesbian & Gay Parents of Teens
We are mother and partner of mother with 13-year-old son. He is going through tough times--academically and socially-in 8th grade. He is very close with partner; good pals. Except when he is having particularly bad time he pulls ''don't want to be around lesbians'' card temper tantrums, especially when being held accountable. When asked if anyone at school is giving him a heard time about being in lesbian household, he admits no one has given him any problems about it. Similar to another recent post about adolescent boy, he is in his aggressive, defiant, ''want to be like the boys in the 'hood'' stage. Deep underneath, he is actually a very emotional and relationship oriented person. Any suggestions or resources? Flummoxed
Then we started to look around at the life we were creating for our son. We began to look at our life through his eyes and what we saw was that our son straddled two very different worlds. One world was the weekend world with lots of moms doting on their kids kids playing together and we as parents sort of forcing the kids to do activities the others liked because we wanted to maintain the friendships in the same way.
But our sons school life was very different, he played kickball, was independent, helped kids with their homework, discussed what it would be like to go to church, punched kids in the arm to get their attention in other words lots of activity that we would have never known had we not been quiet and observed.
Thats when we decided to work on splitting our lives a little and letting our son integrate his a little more. So we spent more time at baseball diamonds and carpentry classes. We shuttled kids around a lot and generally for the next two years, we watched and experienced life through the eyes of our son. The pendulum is now closer to the middle, but we had to see him separately from us to make that happen. Learning to Love Differently
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