• Obsession with Video Games in 6-year-old
• Husband's on-line game addiction
• High School sophomore addicted to internet games
• 15-year-old can't get up in the morning
• See also: Teens and Computer Use
• Related page: Internet Addiction
• Related websites: Wikipedia "Game Addiction" and People Against Video Game Addiction (student site)
• More advice about Computers, Games & Software

Obsession with Video Games in 6-year-old

Our 6-year old son's passion for video games runs deep, and his interest in most all other activities has diminished. He used to look forward to play dates, going to the park, etc. Now, when given a choice, he prefers to go to his 10-y/o cousin's house and play video games. He has rec'd an older, obsolete game console (not kept at our home), and an older Game Boy handheld as hand-me-downs. He also likes playing video games on the computer.

Anything short of a newer game console from Santa this Xmas will be a huge disappointment to him. While we don't want to completely deprive him of playing video games, we also don't want him to grow up into some slacker who spends all his waking moments engaged in this activity at the expense of relationships, school, physical fitness, etc.

Any advice on how to effectively develop his interest in other activities and maintain a balance between those activities and his desire to play video games. Thank you for any input

My son was quite obsessed for a while about 3 years ago. I just severely limited all of his screen time. I leveled with him about my reasons without being angry at him. I told him that it is my duty to raise him as a well-rounded kid and that playing video games all the time is bad for him, just like eating cake and cookies for every meal might taste good but in reality would be very bad for him. He moaned and groaned at first, but it worked. As he played less, he though about it less, and eventually got to the point where he only plays a couple of times a week.

You should enroll him in some activities, be it sports, drama, art. Just choose something that a friend is doing, to get him going. Even short-term city-rec type programs will get him out and his mind off the games.

The main thing is that you are firm and resolved. Once my kids figured out that nothing will change my mind on these kinds of issues, they stopped fighting me on them. Or, they learned to come up with really good compromises, which is a good skill Fight the Good Fight!

Husband's on-line game addiction

My husband (in his late 30s) seems to be depressed when he is away from his on-line game. I don't know if his situation is severe enough to be called an addiction but he has transformed into a very different person. He doesn't seem comfortable in real life social gathering anymore. If I somehow get him to meet with friends and/or family, he seems out of place. In addition to his social skills slowly deteriorating, his personal appearance is also being neglected. I can hardly get him to shave or get a hair cut. Am I dealing with this alone? If this is an addiction, how do I help him face his problem? Is there help out there? anon

And I also want to tell you that you are not alone. My husband plays computer games every day. It can sometimes be for an hour or up to 4 hours or more. On some weekend nights, he likes to stay up late drinking beer and playing. Occassionally it becomes drinking, smoking pot, & playing until very late. I wonder if he is addicted too. I think he has turned to it when he's been down, but also just enjoys it. Is it addiction? Where does one draw lines? He's happy and he will put it away if I ask him to do it. He drinks a couple of beers every night when he plays, but I don't know if something should be done about it or not. So, it was re-assuring to read your letter and I look forward to the responses from others as well. I have some thinking I need to do about this too. Good luck. Anon also

High School sophomore addicted to internet games

My son is a sophomore at Albany High, and he appears to be addicted to video games. I think his ideal life would be sitting in front of a computer monitor with an IV in his arm to deliver enough nutrients and caffeine that he wouldn't have to eat or sleep. He also has started to lie to his mother and me -- and to his teachers -- about his schoolwork to maximize his access to the video games, particularly those on the web. He has some friends, but they tend to be limited to other "gamers."

Does anyone have any advice and/or good resources for dealing with this problem? In one sense, I'm glad he isn't out on the streets getting into drugs or other forms of trouble. But I fear his life has become so one-dimensional that he will be damaged as a result of this obsession. Anonymous

My son is a Senior at AHS and has the same addiction. We tried monitoring, reducing, limiting the hours he spent playing his favorite game (Diablo). These were all just band-aids put on a serious injury and ultimately not successful. We recently took the game and threw it in the garbage. He was, surprisingly, not angry, and seemed almost relieved. I realize that this isn't a permanent solution, since computers are everywhere, but it's a start. I wish I had taken more aggressive action a long time ago, and I urge any parents facing this same situation to take it seriously. Some may feel that the word addiction is thrown around too lightly these days and that this is not a true addiction. I can testify from our experience that this is an addiction, and one that is not easily broken. It's not as easy as just finding other activities for your son to take part in. While they're in their gaming mode, they don't want to do anything else. That is inherent in the nature of an addiction.

My husband recently did some research on the internet about gaming addiction and this is what he found.

    From:  http://www.vifamily.ca/cft/media/media.htm
    Parents and teachers often comment that "kids become absolutely wired"
when absorbed in video games.  Now, there's a scientific study which
confirms that observation.  In a study conducted at the Cyclotron Unit of
Hammersmith Hospital in London, Dr. Paul Grasby and his fellow researchers
determined that playing video games triggers the release of dopamine in the
brain.
    The researchers discovered that dopamine production in the brain doubles
during video game play.
    The increase of the psychoactive chemical was roughly the same as when a
person is injected with amphetamines or the attention-deficit disorder drug,
Ritalin.  This is the first hard evidence that video game playing is
addictive, "the equivalent of a dose of speed."

    From:  http://www.computeraddiction.com/
    Psychological Symptoms of computer addiction are:
      Having a sense of well-being or euphoria while at the computer
      Inability to stop the activity
      Craving more and more time at the computer
      Neglect of family and friends
      Feeling empty, depressed, irritable when not at the computer
      Lying to employers and family about activities
      Problems with school or job

The list of symptoms above described my son to a tee. Now that the game is gone, he has started going out more with friends and is friendlier to us around the house. I wish you luck with your son and his addiction. I know that every situation is unique, and you have to do what feels right to you. I certainly wish, for my son's sake, that I had known what I know now about this addiction. I am signing this anonymously, but if you wish to talk to me, let me know through this site and I'll contact you. Good luck.

Of course, it's impossible to know what kids are doing ALL of the time, but it seems the key to getting this under control is to be firm and consistent in setting limits. Hope that helps.
Yomi

15-year-old can't get up in the morning

My 15 year old son often does not get up on time to get to school on time. He stays up too late and has his radio on all night. At times he seems to be addicted to computer games. I would like to get some advice as to how to deal with this situation.

The only thing that works is physically removing the computer. We tried many other tactics. We'd say ''computer after homework'' but he'd say he had no homework. We tried taking away the computer till grades improved, and they'd improve, he'd get the computer back, and grades would take a nose dive again. We tried locking the keyboard in the trunk of our car (he found another keyboard), unplugging the internet connection (he plugged it back after we went to bed) and taking out the graphics card (he borrowed one from a friend). So we have to take the CPU and lock it up. I feel like an ogre - I know how important email and instant messaging are to teens and I really hate to take it away. I am myself a software engineer who's on the computer all day. I like games myself. But he is completely unable to limit the time he spends on games - it really is an addiction. Now he only gets his computer on the weekends. Even though he is not in school anymore and has very little else to do. He complains continually and bitterly about this but even he agrees that he cannot control himself.

My advice: take the computer away. Give it to him on weekends if his grades are satisfactory. Don't crumble if he complains. Hold your ground. He will find other things to do.