Teens: Engagement & Marriage
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Teens: Engagement & Marriage
Aug 2009
What do we say? What do we do? After just 10 months of knowing her.
He has no job, no money, no home of his own. He's not in school, just
embarking on beginning his adult life. Any advice, please...
Thanks!
South Berkeley
If they know how opposed you are to their plan to marry, they will
want it that much more.
I would get together with the girls' parents and say together that
that you support/admire/ etc/ their love and devotion but want to
make sure that they are ready for marriage. Marriage is meant for
adults and
That means:
1) jobs
2) housing
3) means to support selves
4) means to support a baby if/when baby comes
5) formal education plans?
This is hard. They may fail....not sure what else you can do.
You have my sympathy...and please note that this won't be the worst
thing that can happen...
anon
I second the response in this most recent newsletter. Be matter of
fact and loving. Just make it clear that they are making an adult
decision and will have to find their own place to live and make
their own way in the world -- because that is what adults do. This
is in contrast to two families I know. In one, they allowed the son
to live with his girlfriend in their in-law -- a very bad example
for the younger children in the family. In another, the boy got the
girl pregnant while he was dating another girl, taking no
responsibility for the resulting baby. The girl's parents have never
talked with the boy's parents about it. The girl lives at home with
her mother and younger siblings and has her high school brother take
care of the baby at home while she goes to work. At least she is
working. In summary, it could be worse. If you keep the lines of
communication open and lay all the cards on the table, they may
decide on a long engagement instead while they get more education,
jobs, etc.
Health Educator Mom
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