Berkeley Parents Network: Curfew

Berkeley Parents Network

Curfew

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Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Teenagers > Curfew

Curfew for 10th grader

Nov 2001

I'd like to hear what other parents of teen girls ( 10th grade, or 16 yr. olds) do about curfews - both for weekends and weekdays. I have always insisted on knowing ( or tried to know) where my daughter is if she goes out with friends, with whom, and, if visiting a friend's house, confirm that a parent will be home. My daughter finds all this too restrictive. I'd be interested to hear how other parents feel. Thanks, Suzanne

I've never given a curfew because I don't let her just go "hang." I have always insisted on knowing ( or tried to know) where my daughter is if she goes out with friends, with whom, and, if visiting a friend's house, confirm that a parent will be home. And I try to find out what they're doing, therefore how long she needs to be out. And she should call me if plans or locations change. So far, it's worked fine. She grouches, but puts up with it.

I also followed this procedure with my son, who is now a senior. I'm amazed that now I let him stay out until all hours (2 or 3 a.m.) and even all night. The reasons are that he's a male, he's 18, he's been responsible all these years in telling me where he is, and finally, I know, like and trust his friends and their families. In other words, I feel he's earned privileges. I'm not sure what I'll do with my daughter a few years from now. Barbara

Curfew for just-turned 16

July 2000

I have a just turned 16 year old son. He has a curfew of 12 AM, and I want a parent to be home when he goes out at night to other people's houses. He can go to "parties" if parents are home. (My son says these are not parties). None of the friends (girls or boys) he is currently hanging out with seem to have a curfew at all. (According to my son the other parents just need to know where the kids are. I know that the kids are not always honest about where they really are. I realize that this is very typical behavior for teens.) He is a good kid (but has done some "experimenting" in the past) and gets great grades. Am I off base here? I have tried to meet the parents of several of these friends, but they don't seem interested. I am wondering what the curfew is of other just turned 16 year old kids.

In response to curfews for "just 16" teens: My just 16 daughter is very independent, and responsible. She is actually working at 2 great jobs this summer. HOWEVER Her curfew is 12, and she may not spend the night or attend parties at someone's house unless there are parents there. She cannot spend the night alone in our house either. I too have determined that other teens her age do not have curfews; many parents do not even check to see if kids arrive home safely. Last winter my daughter was asked to baby sit another 15 year old whose parents were out of town, and the kid was TOO scared to spend the weekend alone, so my daughter was asked to keep her company!! My daughter thinks I am "Psycho" with my rules.... signed -Mary (7/00)

Our 17.5 yr old curfew is 11:00pm except for "special occasions" then 12:00. Their driver's licenses have a midnight curfew! On school nights we expect 10:00pm with occasional negotiated exceptions.
Roger (7/00)

The 18-year-old has a midnight curfew on the weekends. If he is staying over at a friend's, he has to stay put after midnight. Some of his friends do not have curfews. Some have 1:30 am. The ones who drive have midnight curfews. Special exceptions can be arranged in advance, for instance a concert in the City that runs late, where I know how he's getting home and with whom. Most of his friends are not supposed to go to a friend's house unless there is a parent there, but this is hard to enforce and sometimes doesn't get enforced. The 15-year-old doesn't really have a formal curfew since he does not really go out on the weekends. If he goes out, usually a parent picks him up, and the pickup is before midnight. Anon.

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