Helping toddlers fall asleep
March 2002
My sister's daughter, who just turned five, is not falling asleep at
night until 10:00 pm! She is up at 7:30 most mornings, has a busy day
at preschool, and takes about a 45 minute nap most days. I have tried
to skip the nap, but that usually results in her being very cranky and
demanding at about 4:00 pm.. She can and has for months at a time gone
to bed at 8:30 pm, which works well for all of us. Right now she says
she can't fall asleep, which is difficult for me because I have anemia
in the winter. So getting her into bed at a reasonable time is
important to me, since I need to get to bed too! Thanks for all your
good thoughts!
Patricia
First of all, my sympathies. Everything is so much harder when there has
been little sleep. In terms of the amount of hours of sleep your niece is
getting, it sounds about normal. Sometimes my son, who is just three, can't
or doesn't fall asleep until 9 or 10 pm but the deal is always the same:
he's in bed between 7:30 and 8 and then he can play in his bed (is not
allowed to get out of bed) or read, listen to books on tape etc. We've had
this routine always an he just falls asleep when he is ready. This may be
hard for you to do if it's new but it may well be worth it. She may enjoy a
new routine??? Good luck!
We had this problem with our son when he was about four. He would take a
two hour nap starting around 4 pm (!!), he would wake just before I got home
from work at 6 and then stay up until 10:30 or 11. First, we had his
pediatrician tell him at his 4 year well child checkup that he was a big boy
and didn't need naps anymore (this was amazingly helpful!). Then, we
started to allow our son to watch TV for an hour in the afternoon (at the
time Sesame Street was on at 4:30-5:30, so this was perfect). We would sit
and watch the show together, talk about what was happening, eat a snack and
cuddle on the couch. He got the down time he needed (and so did I or his
sitter), but it engaged him enough to keep him from falling asleep. Without
the nap, he was asleep by 9pm. Good luck!
My three year old has never been a sleeper. He was born at 10:00 PM and did
not go to sleep until 8:00 AM the next morning....nothing has changed. He
usually does not fall asleep until 10:30 - 11:30 PM and wakes at about 7:00.
Our routine is to put him in his bed at about 9:30 and just let him stay
awake in bed. He can have his books, toys, etc., as long as he stays in
bed. We do not tell him that he has to go to sleep, but rather he must stay
in bed. He does play, but eventually falls asleep. This was a
recommendation from his doctor because I too am very exhausted. It seems to
have made things a little easier.
I think you have already hit the nail on the head...your sister's daughter
is at that age where the nap has to go, otherwise the bedtime will be 10 or
11 o' clock each night. It happened with our oldest at four years of age,
but this transitional age does vary from child to child. We finally decided
we had to put up with the cranky late afternoon/early evening period for the
sake of enforcing a regular, sane bedtime for everyone. Be comforted in
that while it's not the easiest, you'll have much easier bedtimes and
perhaps at 4pm or so she can spend some quiet time with a caregiver, books,
or coloring so her body gets some rest if not actual sleep. For our
daughter, even if we gave her a 15 minute catnap it wreaked havoc with the
bedtime when she was at this stage. While our daughter still occasionally
gets tired at dinnertime or late afternoon, six months after we've
eliminated her naps, those periods are shorter and less frequent than
before. Our bedtimes are now stable at 8pm - 8:30 pm on the dot. Good
luck!
Does your niece read yet? If she does, try putting her to bed earlier with a
book.
My daughter will soon be nine, but ever since she could read on her own
really well (around five) I never had a problem with her going to bed. I'd
tuck her in with a book (after she no longer wanted me to read to her
preferring to do it herself) and within 15 minutes I'd come back and she'd
be asleep with the open book over her face. Worked like a charm. Still does.
As far as I know kids need 10 hours of sleep at that age in a 24 hour
period. Mine sleeps from 8pm to 6am, when we need to get up for work.
Definitely no naps. We let her stay up late on Christmas Eve when we do the
gift exchange - that means an afternoon nap of 1.5 hour and she stays up
easily until 11pm in the best of mood/energy. I suggest you determine when
bedtime should be, count 10 hours forward and set the alarm for the new
earlier wake-up time. The 45 min nap must go. Transition slowly over
several days in 30 minute intervals.
The opinions and statements expressed on this page
are those of parents who belong to the
UC Berkeley Parents Network and
should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the
University of California, Berkeley.