Berkeley Parents Network: Trouble with Toddler's Naps (12-24 mos)

Berkeley Parents Network

Trouble with Toddler's Naps (12-24 mos)

Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Sleep > Naps > Trouble with Toddler's Naps

Big-girl bed arrives, 20-m-o's naps disappear - Help!

Nov 2004

My daughter is 20 months old and is now in the Big-Girl Bed, as her brother has arrived and will soon be taking the crib. Bedtime has been a bit challenging, as she will get out of bed and play for awhile before finally climbing back into the bed and falling asleep. Naptimes, however, are a disaster, as she cannot seem to settle herself down and will not sleep unless I put her back in the crib. There was only one post in the archive that spoke to this, and giving up naps is not an option, as she still needs them (and so do I!). She likes the big bed, but would rather play than sleep. We desperately need to work this out, as my son is now 3 months and I will be sleeping in her room as soon as we can figure out how to get them both the sleep they need. How have others made this transition? Are there tricks or techniques? Specific disciplinary actions that are appropriate at this age? Do we just resign ourselves to two cribs? I'm either too tired or too frustrated to be creative anymore and could use some help. Erin

One thing that has always helped settle my kids into their beds is to put a hot water bottle down under the covers where the cold little tootsies go. They love to get their feet on it, and it starts to relax them, and then boom! they are asleep. Can't hurt. And at ages 9 and 11, they still love it on a cold night - or when they have a sore tummy - so we have about 3 in our house. hope it helps. Nancy

We had a similar situation when my youngest son came along. I told my older son (who would not nap in the big boy bed) that he'd have to nap in the crib until he could learn to nap in his new bed. He didn't like it, but he at least napped when I put him in the crib. Eventually, after several false starts, he started sleeping in his big boy bed, but shortly after that gave up his naps all together. In the mean time, I put the baby down in a porta-crib until the big crib was vacated. It worked for everyone. My youngest didn't know the difference, and my older one took the time he needed to learn how to nap in the big boy bed. Good luck! Nicole Radlow

You are right that 20 mos. is way to young to give up naps and I think you've answered your own question. Get another crib, after all she is not really a ''big girl'' anyway. Don't take her out of her crib because a new baby is coming. Put the big girl bed away until she is climbing out of the crib and no longer safe. You will be grateful that you did. anon

My son stopped napping when we got rid of the crib, too. However, I kept the crib until he was 3 and a half (and he is a BIG kid, too). I'd get a second crib for the new baby - can you borrow one from someone for a year? Give her her crib back and keep on napping! Fran

I also experienced the shock of this transition you're referring to. We followed a friend's suggestion to put a gate on our daughter's door at nap time so that even if she couldn't sleep, she could stay and play quietly in her own room. Some days I deperately need the break, especially since I teach night school. This has worked well. Now she's used to the routine, and we often don't use the gate at all. She's rather indifferent to it most of the time (I felt bad to put it up, but my exhaustion factor got me over that fast.) On days when she really doesn't want to stay in, she has knocked the gate over, so we adjust from there (like maybe no nap that day, or try again after another activity). What I've learned is, you can't make anybody sleep. But you can create a quiet atmosphere that encourages sleep, or at least lets a toddler wind down. Her quiet play in her own room has often turned into a voluntary nap (especially when we've seen signs that she's tired). Hope this helps. Barbara

I will soon be facing a similar situation and have been soliciting advice. Some friends have gone the two crib route, but like you, I have no desire to do the two crib thing. The best suggestions that I have heard are to use a pack and play for my daughters naps and turn the crib over to baby #2 for naps/bedtime or, keep my daughter in the crib full time until she is 2 or 2 1/2 and just have baby #2 sleep in the pack and play until then. -heading your way

The exact same thing happened to us. My daughter was 20 months old when we had to move her to a bed to free up the crib for the 2nd baby. She also wouldn't take a nap in her bed and would just play. We ended up putting her to sleep in a playyard that we set up in our bedroom... worked great. In fact, she seemed to find it comforting again to be in a cozy space. She stayed there for naps until she was 3 or so and was potty-training for naps and needed to be able to get up to use the potty. We moved her back to her bed for naps at that point and she will nap there now on most days. Good luck. roxanne

Personally, I would reconsider moving a 20 mo. old to a bed. Your baby could sleep in a pack and play if you really don't want to buy a second crib (what about a second hand crib?). It seems worth it to save the hassle. Twenty months is young for the freedom of a big bed. When my nearly 3 year old moved to a big bed, he gave up naps that day. If I'd have known, I might have put my younger one in a pack and play for a bit and waited it out. The older sib. has suffered from not having a nap, but he just wouldn't do it without the structure of a crib. Good luck! sabrina

When our son was 2 1/2, he slept in a ''big-boy'' bed for exactly one week before we gave up and put him back in his crib. He just wasn't ready. Like your daughter, he still needed to nap but got so excited by the freedom of his new bed that his naptimes turned into glorified playtimes. I think my husband and I were more disappointed than our son -- he only asked a handful of times what happened to his bed, and once we got him back in his crib, he reverted back to being a great napper. Like you, we thought that we needed to move him into a bed so that we could give his crib to his baby sister, not to mention that a lot of his friends were starting to transition into beds. We ended up buying a second crib for our daughter, we have had two cribs now for over a year. We ended up purchasing a good-quality used crib from Child's Play in Rockridge and then bought a new mattress. Our son is now 3 1/2 and is finally ready to make the move -- he has been dropping his naps pretty consistently, and has been asking for a bed for the past couple of months. I think that you should consider what is best for your daughter -- the fact that she still needs to nap and that she cannot do so in a bed. Good luck! Been There

What worked for us was to buy one of those cheap IKEA ''bed- tents'' and install it in his bed (it didn't fit nicely, but!). We then spent time ''camping'' with our toddler, reading stories, telling him stories about the stars in the tent... and just making a big deal out of it. He started taking some naps in there (but we didnt' force it) and little by little he got more and more into the bed and by the end of 2-3 weeks he was happily napping and sleeping on it. Now we have to convince the baby to leave our room and join his brother :=) E.

You should just resign yourself to two cribs. Some experts say that many children need the security of a crib until age three, some even until age four. At less than two years old-it just seems way too young. I waited until my daughters wanted to sleep in a bed (about two 1/2 for both of them) and it made the transition a lot easier. Zilla

22-month-old sleeps in toddler bed but won't nap there

October 2002

My 22month old son is now too big for his crib, and has even started climbing out of his playpen, so we've transferred him for the second time to a toddler bed. He'll sleep in it at night, after playing in his room with the door closed for a while. He just puts himself back in it and generally goes to sleep. The problem is he won't nap anymore. I put him in it and try to relax him with stories and songs, but as soon as the door closes he's off trotting aroung the room, climbing on things and playing. He doesn't cry but I worry about him getting in trouble. This wouldn't be such a big deal if I wasn't 7months pregnant, and desperate for a nap myself, plus very worried about when the new baby arrives. Any advice would be MUCH appreciated. Tired and desperate

I was in your same situation at the beginning of this year, so I really feel for you. Unfortunately, the end of my second pregnancy coincided with my then two-year-old giving up her nap. I thought if I let her sleep in her crib again, then that would help, but she would just climb out and tear her room apart. Bribes (i.e., a promised trip to the park if she would play quietly in her room) didn't work either. The only way I could get any rest was to have a babysitter come over or drop her off at a friend's house. And once in a while (maybe 25 percent of the time) she'd fall asleep in the car after a long drive. I would just nap in the car as well--she'd wake up if I brought her in the house. I'm sorry that I don't have a magic cure for you. The only consolation I can give you is that I actually felt better and less tired after the new baby arrived...pregnancy was more of a drain on my energy than a second child! And no, my daughter has not resumed napping. Good luck. not as tired anymore

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