Baby Won't Sleep in the Crib
Berkeley Parents Network >
Advice >
Sleep >
Baby Won't Sleep in the Crib
March 2010
My 5 month old is a great night sleeper, sleeping 11 hours
straight in his crib without any crying at all but naps are
a totally different story. We try to lay him down 3 times a
day for naps when he is first showing signs of being tired
but to no avail he cries for a whole hour before we go in
and pick him up. We have been doing this for about 2 weeks
now with no improvement and he always ends up either falling
asleep in our arms or in the stroller when we go for a walk.
Why might he be so opposed to day time sleeping in his crib
but not nighttime? Any suggestions greatly appreciated.
Dana
I am an infant and toddler sleep coach and I have LOTS of
clients whose babies are doing the same thing. I suspect
that the timing of the naps is off so the hour you leave
him doesn't yield result because his body chemistry isn't
aligned with the effort. Sometimes there's just a
thing or two that is off in the equation and once
corrected wonderful naps evolve naturally!
You don't have to let him scream in order to get him to nap
in his crib! It sounds like it's not working for you anyway,
and you end up rocking or strolling him to sleep, so why not
just skip to what works? My five month old now has a nap
routine that's similar to her bedtime routine (soothing
music, nursing, swaddling, semi-dark room), and I rock or
bounce her to sleep for every nap, then lay her down in her
crib.
This may sound high-maintenance, but in the month or so
since we started doing it, it's gone from being an hour-long
process (at least sometimes) to about 10 minutes, max... the
end result being that she's getting more good naptime, and
we're both much less stressed out by the whole process.
- Not Crying It Out
Aug 2009
My 5 month old is improving night sleep (puts herself to sleep,
weaning from 3 nursings per night) but we can not get her to nap
in her crib (which is in our bedroom) during the day! She cries
as soon as she is put down. She easily falls asleep if we walk
her, but wakes up if she is put down. I have read multiple books
(no cry sleep solution, Healthy sleep habits, happy child,
Sleepeasy solution). Right now we are doing the cry it out as
recommended by Sleepeasy solution--we are on day 3 without any
improvment. I haven't let her cry more than a little over an
hour. I know from getting our baby to take the bottle that she
can cry many, many hours. It is one thing when there is no
choice but the bottle for her and I am at work. But, when there
is the option of stopping the crying by having her nap in her
stroller or baby carrier while we walk her it is hard to not cave in.
How long can I let her cry when trying to get her to nap? I
currently spend 3-4 hours per day walking her to get her to
sleep--something I will not be able to do when back at work full
time.
Please no responses about how crying it out is cruel--we have
really tried everything else.
anon
Hi, I can totally empathize with your situation. My son was
EXACTLY the same, and i'm almost ashamed to admit that I still
have to rock/hold him for him to take a nap - and he's almost 2
yrs old!
Like you, I tried absolutely everything (including letting him
cry for over an hour for 5 consecutive days with no success),
read all the books you mentioned, and even paid 2
different ''sleeep consultants''. Finally, after I was literally
on the verge of suicide because of his failure to sleep (and
resulting monster-like behavior from being chronically
overtired), I put him in a daycare that we could hardly
afford. There he finally learned to follow the pack and nap on
his own.
Sadly, he still doesn't do this at home, as i mentioned in my
intro paragraph. On weekends/holidays, i put him in his crib,
he cries for 15-20 minutes, then i go back in and he falls
asleep quickly in my arms. Nothing else works for us.
If daycare is not an option for you, hopefully some of the
other wonderful parents on BPN will have some better advice
that both of us can follow! I basically just wanted to let you
know that you're not alone and I wish you the best of luck.
And if you need to commiserate, feel free to email me at
eldee121 at yahoo.com.
another tired mama
We did CIO, and eventually it worked. You just have to give it a
little time to start working. As long as you know for sure your
baby isn't sick, or has thrown up (which you'd be able to hear)
or has a poop (stick your head in the room and you should be able
to smell it - no reason to pick up the baby and start checking
her diaper) or uncomfortable in any way (too much light in the
room, room too cold, etc.), there is no harm in CIO, in my
opinion. They say that one hour crying is normal.
Our daughter was used to napping in her swing, but at the age of
5 or 6 month we had to wean her off it, because it stopped
working. We went through a LOT of screaming, which was very hard
on us, but now I feel very good about what we have done, because
she learned how to nap independently. She is 15 months old now,
and occasionally she'd refuse to nap, too, but we don't cave in,
and that's the trick to it.
Also, maybe your daughter is transitioning from three naps to two
naps, and it makes it harder for her to fall asleep.
Olga
Oct 2008
So our four month old is sleeping in bed with us and waking a
lot to nurse. We've been trying to get her into the crib which
is like a sidecar right next to the bed but just no dice.
She'll sleep for a while but wakes. She likes the crib- plays
and coos, but won't sleep. Then when she lies on our bed she
conks out. I worry about blankets etc. but I'm wondering if
the crib is so totally un-cozy. Any other thoughts? Am
opposed to sleep training.
deb
If you are willing to put your child in a crib, why don't you
just move it to another room? You will both get better sleep.
Otherwise, co-sleep...
-anon
Oct 2007
First let me say that our 5-month-old son doesn't have a
problem sleeping in his crib at night. And, he takes naps in
our arms, in his stroller, in his carseat...just about anywhere
except his crib. In fact, whenever we try to place him in his
crib after he has been asleep for a few minutes, he immediately
wakes and the crying begins. We have tried the Ferber method,
but give up after 30 to 45 minutes. It's not practical to let
him sleep in our arms every time, even though WE like it. And,
we can't take him for a ride all the time, either.
Any suggestions?
Mike
We had a similar problem and had an extensive phone conversation
with Dr. Weissbluth who wrote that Happy Baby, Healthy Sleep
habits book. What he said was twice a day at 9AM and at 1PM put
the baby in the crib in the bedroom for one hour. If he screams
the whole time, fine. Get him after an hour (and not a minute
earlier). If he sleeps for half an hour or less, let him scream
it out til the hour is up. If he sleeps for half an hour or
more, get him if he wakes before the hour is up b/c it is
unlikely that he is going to go back to sleep.
If he knows that twice a day he is going into his crib (with the
same wind down procedure), he will eventually get it.
Feel free to email if that didn't make sense.
jen
Naps can be hard. Both of my daughters did this -- the older one
until 9-months and the younger until 7-months. Just keep trying.
Eventually it will work.
I found curling up with my little ones for the afternoon nap to
be helpful. I wouldn't take a full nap, but would leave them on
my bed (I stayed in the room and folded laundry, worked on my lap
top, etc as both were avid rollers when they woke up.
jan
Everybody has different ways to deal with this, and you'll find
what works best for you. I know it seems unending, but this is
temporary (though potentially long-term, since your child will
nap until he's somewhere between 1-5 yrs old). I had a child who
would be wide awake if she wasn't moving (car or stroller) or
physically attached to me or her father. I used to get insanely
jealous of people who could literally set their babies down and
they'd be calm and fall asleep. Ferber methods didn't work for
me. Watching those other parents seemed like watching a magic
trick. Some of the differences are differences in the kid, and
some are difference in you and your parenting style. What worked
for me, ultimately, was a combination of just accepting what
worked and giving up when it didn't work (and putting her down
earlier at night!). I would run errands with her in the car, and
plan to finish at about the time she'd likely nap (we had the
advantage of a garage, which I equipped w/ a monitor, and I left
the windows unrolled and listened very carefully and obsessed
about whether she was too hot or too cold). Or I would get my
exercise (walk w/ stroller, run w/ jog stroller), and wheel her
into the house after she fell asleep. Or I would lie down with
her and let her fall asleep w/ me and some pillows, then very
very carefully scooch away when she fell asleep, with the pillows
substituting for me, then I could get some work done while she
slept. The other magic trick I observed was watching kids who
fell asleep in the car, then the parents transferred them to a
crib and they stayed asleep. Never in five years did that happen
to me, no matter how many times or different ways I tried it. She
is still a very light sleeper. (as am I. I eventually fired the
nanny who insisted on ''training'' her to a crib at naptime, partly
because I couldn't stand to hear her scream for 2 hrs.) Oh, and I
also had a brilliant night sleeper. Lousy naps and good nighttime
sleep may go together. Do what you can, and accept the rest, and
don't let anybody tell you that you're doing it wrong. What works
for your family is right.
Nov 2003
My wonderful 3 month old son has a problem napping in his
crib. At night he sleeps very well in a cradle beside our
bed. During the day he loves to sleep a lot, but can't seem to
stay asleep in the crib. He can sleep in the carseat (his
favorite), the stroller, someone's arms, in the middle of a
loud restaurant (all of these are exceptions to the rule-
generally we are at home for his longest daytime nap), but he
can't take a nap of more than 20 minutes in the crib. If he is
groggy when I put him down he will generally wake up and need
to be soothed several times. If he manages to fall asleep in
there he will be awake no more than 20 minutes later and will
not go back to sleep. The room is somewhat dark, although not
completely. Something about the crib environment seems to both
make him sleep lightly and get very excited and animated when
he wakes, so that he gets very hyper instead of going back to
sleep. I have been trying to teach him to sleep in the crib,
but he just gets grumpier and grumpier throughout the day as he
gets more and more tired without a good nap. Finally in the
last couple weeks I have relented and let him nap in his
carseat (which I put in the crib, just to try and give him the
idea), where he sleeps for 2-3 hours for his longest nap with
no fussing at all. The problem with this is that 1. his head
is getting flat in the back and 2. he will outgrow the seat
soon, and then what will I do? Do I need to be doing a naptime
routine at this age? Usually after he has been awake for 1-2
hours he starts looking tired and I just put him down, give him
his pacifier and rub his forehead until he closes his eyes. He
is still sleeping so much that I pretty much do it on as as
needed basis rather than scheduling it (I used the Baby
Whisperer quite a bit). I think I am reading his signs right,
but something about his crib does not equal sleep to my little
guy. I have thought of making the room darker or adding white
noise, but he sleeps great in his room in his carseat-so I
think that it is not necessarily the conditions of the room. I
took the mobile down and put it back up with no discernable
effect. I am now at a loss and soon he will be super flat
headed and too big for his carseat. Any advice would be much
appreciated.
Rebecca
Your baby sounds like he wants to be cradled and held close while
he's sleeping. The car seat, stroller and sleeping cradle are all
just about his size, right? I think babies feel more secure when
they are closely surrounded by something. The way swaddling makes
them feel, held and secure, like they were in the womb. Maybe the
crib is just too big! You might reconsider him sleeping in his
crib until he is older, when he ''fits'' in it. If the cradle works
why not keep using that? Or the carseat. When he gets to big for
those and still doesn't like the crib, maybe make it smaller
somehow, by adding big fat bumper. Remember where he came from
only 3 months ago. It may seem like a long time for you, but in
the scheme of a whole lifetime it's really a VERY short time to be
out on his own. As far as his head getting flat, aren't the cradle
and carseat padded? Good Luck.
anon
Based on the environments you mention where your son WILL sleep, it
sounds like the environment of the crib might be too wide-open, and that
he does better in more enclosed, cozy environments (cradle, carseat...).
This is often the case with very young babies, and may be something
he'll outgrow. In the meantime, is there something you can put in the
crib to make him feel more enclosed? Not something dangerous, like
soft pillows or blankets, but maybe a sleep positioner, or one of those
''snuggle nest'' things that people use for cosleeping?
Karen
I think 3 months old is still pretty young to expect any sort
of ''routine'' from your baby. If he sleeps best in his carseat,
my advice is let him! His head won't get any more flat from
the car seat than from the crib because in either place he
should be sleeping on his back anyway. As long as he gets
plenty of ''tummy time'' while he's awake, that will take care of
itself. My son is 6 months old now and we're only just now
figuring out his ''schedule'' which I'm sure will change again.
He doesn't sleep in his crib yet either, but I'm sure glad I
bought one, otherwise where would I store all his ''stuff''? ;-)
tiffany
I highly recommend the book The No Cry Sleep Solution. It has lots of ideas
for getting your baby to nap in the crib.
Michelle
My son was similar, although he didn't like sleeping much at
all -- still doesn't, 2 years later! But I'd like to assure
you that carseat sleeping, which made me absolutely hysterical,
is on the top of my ''things not to worry about next time''
list.
It sounds to me like your little one wants a smaller, more
snuggly sleeping space (arms, carseat, cradle). The crib is
wide-open pastures to a little person. Can't the baby sleep in
the cradle, bassinet or carseat? I know there are health
issues (head flattening) with the carseat, but our pediatrician
told us to just roll up a towel and place it beside our son's
head in the carseat, alternating sides now and then, so he was
forced to change head positions
Another thing is that once your baby learns to roll over and
gets more mobile, he will want more space and will hate being
restrained in the carseat. Our son slept in his seat till he
was nearly six months. I was just starting to wonder how to
build a toddler-sized carseat when, lo and behold, he started
getting fussy in the carseat and switched to the crib without
any drama at all. We also put the carseat into the crib -- I
don't know if it helped but at least he gets used to the space,
right?
Good luck!
Catherine
I sympathize - NEITHER of my sons would nap in their cribs
until they were about 5-6 months old, which was when I found
they fell into a more predictable nap pattern as well. I
pretty much let them nap wherever they would, and kept randomly
trying the crib. Eventually it worked. I very often would let
them nap on our bed, and just put pillows around them - they
slept really well and would then always sleep fine in their
crib at night. It's OK to give them a little latitude I think
in the first few months.
Good luck!
Susan
Hi! I had the exact same problem when my daughter was around 3
months old (she's 4.5 months now). She hated her crib and would
cry nonstop when put in it. She slept great in the bassinet
beside our bed, though. To solve the problem, I first put the
detachable bassinet inside the crib (much like you're doing
with the carseat). After about 2 weeks of that, I tried the
crib again.
This time, she was much more accepting, but tended to flip
around a lot. Once I found her on her stomach, still
swaddled!! I eventually tried using a sleep positioner in the
crib, and that works great. I think it makes her feel more
secure (like in the smaller bassinet), and I don't worry about
her flipping over and smothering.
Hope this helps!
anon
this page was last updated: Jul 26, 2011
The opinions and statements expressed on this website
are those of parents who subscribe to the
Berkeley Parents Network.
Please see
Disclaimer & Usage for
information about using content on this website.
Copyright © 1996-2013 Berkeley Parents Network