Berkeley Parents Network: Baby Won't Sleep in the Crib

Berkeley Parents Network

Baby Won't Sleep in the Crib

Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Sleep > Baby Won't Sleep in the Crib

3-month-old naps everywhere but crib

Nov 2003

My wonderful 3 month old son has a problem napping in his crib. At night he sleeps very well in a cradle beside our bed. During the day he loves to sleep a lot, but can't seem to stay asleep in the crib. He can sleep in the carseat (his favorite), the stroller, someone's arms, in the middle of a loud restaurant (all of these are exceptions to the rule- generally we are at home for his longest daytime nap), but he can't take a nap of more than 20 minutes in the crib. If he is groggy when I put him down he will generally wake up and need to be soothed several times. If he manages to fall asleep in there he will be awake no more than 20 minutes later and will not go back to sleep. The room is somewhat dark, although not completely. Something about the crib environment seems to both make him sleep lightly and get very excited and animated when he wakes, so that he gets very hyper instead of going back to sleep. I have been trying to teach him to sleep in the crib, but he just gets grumpier and grumpier throughout the day as he gets more and more tired without a good nap. Finally in the last couple weeks I have relented and let him nap in his carseat (which I put in the crib, just to try and give him the idea), where he sleeps for 2-3 hours for his longest nap with no fussing at all. The problem with this is that 1. his head is getting flat in the back and 2. he will outgrow the seat soon, and then what will I do? Do I need to be doing a naptime routine at this age? Usually after he has been awake for 1-2 hours he starts looking tired and I just put him down, give him his pacifier and rub his forehead until he closes his eyes. He is still sleeping so much that I pretty much do it on as as needed basis rather than scheduling it (I used the Baby Whisperer quite a bit). I think I am reading his signs right, but something about his crib does not equal sleep to my little guy. I have thought of making the room darker or adding white noise, but he sleeps great in his room in his carseat-so I think that it is not necessarily the conditions of the room. I took the mobile down and put it back up with no discernable effect. I am now at a loss and soon he will be super flat headed and too big for his carseat. Any advice would be much appreciated. Rebecca

Your baby sounds like he wants to be cradled and held close while he's sleeping. The car seat, stroller and sleeping cradle are all just about his size, right? I think babies feel more secure when they are closely surrounded by something. The way swaddling makes them feel, held and secure, like they were in the womb. Maybe the crib is just too big! You might reconsider him sleeping in his crib until he is older, when he ''fits'' in it. If the cradle works why not keep using that? Or the carseat. When he gets to big for those and still doesn't like the crib, maybe make it smaller somehow, by adding big fat bumper. Remember where he came from only 3 months ago. It may seem like a long time for you, but in the scheme of a whole lifetime it's really a VERY short time to be out on his own. As far as his head getting flat, aren't the cradle and carseat padded? Good Luck. anon

Based on the environments you mention where your son WILL sleep, it sounds like the environment of the crib might be too wide-open, and that he does better in more enclosed, cozy environments (cradle, carseat...). This is often the case with very young babies, and may be something he'll outgrow. In the meantime, is there something you can put in the crib to make him feel more enclosed? Not something dangerous, like soft pillows or blankets, but maybe a sleep positioner, or one of those ''snuggle nest'' things that people use for cosleeping? Karen

I think 3 months old is still pretty young to expect any sort of ''routine'' from your baby. If he sleeps best in his carseat, my advice is let him! His head won't get any more flat from the car seat than from the crib because in either place he should be sleeping on his back anyway. As long as he gets plenty of ''tummy time'' while he's awake, that will take care of itself. My son is 6 months old now and we're only just now figuring out his ''schedule'' which I'm sure will change again. He doesn't sleep in his crib yet either, but I'm sure glad I bought one, otherwise where would I store all his ''stuff''? ;-) tiffany

I highly recommend the book The No Cry Sleep Solution. It has lots of ideas for getting your baby to nap in the crib. Michelle

My son was similar, although he didn't like sleeping much at all -- still doesn't, 2 years later! But I'd like to assure you that carseat sleeping, which made me absolutely hysterical, is on the top of my ''things not to worry about next time'' list.

It sounds to me like your little one wants a smaller, more snuggly sleeping space (arms, carseat, cradle). The crib is wide-open pastures to a little person. Can't the baby sleep in the cradle, bassinet or carseat? I know there are health issues (head flattening) with the carseat, but our pediatrician told us to just roll up a towel and place it beside our son's head in the carseat, alternating sides now and then, so he was forced to change head positions

Another thing is that once your baby learns to roll over and gets more mobile, he will want more space and will hate being restrained in the carseat. Our son slept in his seat till he was nearly six months. I was just starting to wonder how to build a toddler-sized carseat when, lo and behold, he started getting fussy in the carseat and switched to the crib without any drama at all. We also put the carseat into the crib -- I don't know if it helped but at least he gets used to the space, right? Good luck! Catherine

I sympathize - NEITHER of my sons would nap in their cribs until they were about 5-6 months old, which was when I found they fell into a more predictable nap pattern as well. I pretty much let them nap wherever they would, and kept randomly trying the crib. Eventually it worked. I very often would let them nap on our bed, and just put pillows around them - they slept really well and would then always sleep fine in their crib at night. It's OK to give them a little latitude I think in the first few months. Good luck! Susan

Hi! I had the exact same problem when my daughter was around 3 months old (she's 4.5 months now). She hated her crib and would cry nonstop when put in it. She slept great in the bassinet beside our bed, though. To solve the problem, I first put the detachable bassinet inside the crib (much like you're doing with the carseat). After about 2 weeks of that, I tried the crib again.

This time, she was much more accepting, but tended to flip around a lot. Once I found her on her stomach, still swaddled!! I eventually tried using a sleep positioner in the crib, and that works great. I think it makes her feel more secure (like in the smaller bassinet), and I don't worry about her flipping over and smothering. Hope this helps! anon

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