Berkeley Parents Network: Newborn Sleep: the first 6 weeks

Berkeley Parents Network

Newborn Sleep: the first 6 weeks

Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Sleep > Newborn Sleep: the first 6 weeks

Constantly Breastfeeding 1-month-old not sleeping

July 2002

My one month old breastfeeds constantly. Sometimes over two hours in one sitting, and four to five hours with small ten minute breaks! I think it is a combination of being a slow eater and having a strong sucking instinct. I understand she has a small stomach and I believe in feeding on demand and don't mind her sucking for comfort. However, it gets to the point where she clearly isn't hungry anymore and is very tired but won't go to sleep. She starts frantically pecking at my breast and then starts howling. There seems to be no way to comfort her except to continue feeding her, although I know that she is TIRED not hungry. The only other way I've successfully found getting her to sleep is by driving or taking a walk with her in a sling. But she usually wakes as soon as we've stopped moving and wants to feed again. Any advice on how to break this cycle and get her to sleep?

When our daughter was an infant, she did the same thing. We were reluctant to use a pacifier, and she refused to keep it in her mouth anyway, so we ended up offering our pinkie fingers a lot of the time, just to give her something to suck on. At about 3 months she finally decided to take a pacifier, much to our relief! Then she spit it out and never went back to it atr about 7 months, but that was another story... Good luck. Lauren

It will get better. My son was the same, and now at 11 months I can hardly get him interested in nursing. I found that as a first-time-mom I was constantly trying to ''fix'' things that were going to change regardless.

Some people would say that your baby is crying because she needs to vent stress, and that the best thing you can do is hold her, talk to her, and look at her so that she knows that she is loved a supported while she gets to the bottom of it. I experiemented with this and I think there was merit in the idea, although nothing applied 100% of the time. Anon.

Time is what will work. In fact, I think it is a decent bet that by the time you read these replies, your baby will have a new pattern. Keep on feeding on demand, and when the babe is clearly tired switch the sling to dad, send the two of them out for a walk, and either take a nap or a bath - or both! Good luck, and hang in there - the only constant with newborns is change. Debbi

I would strongly suggest you contact a lactation consultant. You want to confirm that your little one is getting enough milk, and why she is taking so long to feed (need? nurture?). I had almost the same problem and it turns out my son (at one month) wasn't getting enough milk (among other issues). I worked very closely with a lactation consultant for my 2nd child and resolved the issues that I had with my first. Even if all is well with you baby - I would try to find out why she is nursing for such a long time for your sanity!! I highly suggest Janaki Costello, lactation consultant, at 525.1155. Best of luck. Elizabeth

Hi, My advice, which may be taken ill by some (I know _I_ would have taken it ill with my first child) is try a pacifier. It sounds as though breastfeeding is well-established. You didn't say how your baby was gaining. If the baby is slow in gaining, maybe it might not be a great idea, but if your baby is putting on weight fine, I would try a pacifier. I didn't do the pacifier thing with my first one, but after several sleepless nights getting up with a 21-month-old and a newborn I decided to give it a try with my second. Wow! It suddenly became clear why so many people do use them. Just pop that thing in and they go right back to sleep (if you can get them to take it.) We had to work at it for a while, and my daughter only took it for six months, but what a wonderful 6 months they were! Being wary of the whole pacifier thing anyway, I was careful about not popping it in every time she squeaked, but it was so nice to 1)get her to go to sleep easily 2) calm her in the car (we endured so much screaming in the car with my older daughter because we just had to get where we were going and nothing would calm her, which completely frazzled us.) 3) get her to go back to sleep at night when I knew she didn't need to nurse, for instance, when she had only been asleep an hour or two, or when her flutter sucking after nursing was keeping me awake, but if I popped her off she'd wake up. I could slip the pacifier in and we could both sleep. Oh, and my second daughter also did what it sounds as though yours is doing: she wanted to nurse to go to sleep, but wasn't hungry and would howl and pop off when the milk let down. The pacifier was a good solution to this problem.

We had no problem getting rid of the pacifier (she rejected it a 6mos), and never had any nipple confusion problems --- she never had a bottle, so she never got the idea that food could come from an artificial nipple. Our only problem has been ending the nursing fixation! I weaned her 3 mos ago at 2 years and she still grabs me and shouts ''IT'S MY NIPPLE!!''. Always, of course, in public.

Now, on to other things. I believe in nursing on demand, but in moderation. :) In other words, try to stretch out the time between feedings with distractions, back patting, walking, whatever. Also, there is no need to nurse your baby as long as 2 hours. The baby gets the most milk at let down. Ten minutes or fifteen minutes on each side should give her plenty of milk, or if you are not comfortable with that, even half an hour per side. She won't be getting much in the end anyway. Then see how long you can get her to go without nursing. I never let my daughter cry, I just tried to gently space things out a bit, to 1-1/2 or 2 hours between feedings. Do it during the day, and the nights will follow. You need rest, and she really doesn't need to nurse that much. Remember to take care of both of you! She needs you to be well-rested. Well, at least decently-rested... :) Good luck to you! another nursing mom

If you can't find a solution to the constancy of feeding, I hope that you can nurse in the sidelying position. I slept and read novels while my hungry hungry girl gorged/slept/sucked. You might try nursing one side per nursing, especially if you also are seeing green poop periodically. There could be too much fore milk (the clear sweet stuff) and not enough hind milk (rich full creamy opaque) getting in. This might also make for tummy trouble and comfort seeking...where? you guessed it, at the breast. Some people have had luck w/ vibrating bouncy seats as sleep inducers. I sniffed at such 'gizmos' when shopping pre birth, but will try anything and count it a success if it works once. It's also okay (and will be more so as baby gets older) to pass the baby over to your partner and they can bond while you get a break, even if there's lots of wailing. You should probably leave the house though! I could never take it. Jessica

Have you tried giving her a pacifier? Sometimes babies need to suck in order to get themselves calm enough to sleep. anonymous

5-day-old only sleeps during the day

From: Mike and Angela

My husband and I are parents of a five day old infant that has a nocturnal sleep schedule. He has a difficult time falling asleep in the evening, sleeps for short periods of time and often wakes up and will cry and scream for an extended period of time. We feel very badly because we live in an apartment and our baby wakes up our neighbor at wee hours in the morning. During the day, our baby can sleep for hours and needs to be woken to be nursed (falls back asleep while nursing). We have been told to try to wake-up the baby during the day, but are not sure how to do this and how to keep him awake. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

From: Georg

First don't worry about your childs behaviour. It is quite normal for a newborn not to know the difference between day and night. It can take weeks or months until your baby finds to a stable nursing/sleeping schedule. He might need to drink now every two hours during the night. If you are lucky the intervalls will increase to four or six hours at night within the next weeks. It might be more comfortable for mother and baby to sleep in the same bed so you don't have to get up every time the baby wants to drink. Second I think everyone has to accept that babies cry -even at 2am. There is no "turn-off". To minimize crying and keeping you and neighbours from sleep I would again suggest to take the baby in your bed. At the worst he would fall asleep on your stomach. While nursing at night keep the room dark so the baby can easier learn day/night difference. Good luck and give your baby time to learn and to adjust to life on earth.

From: raff

Based on all the reading and research I've done, it is quite normal for a newborn to have very irregular sleep, including sleeping in the day and being up at night more. The best way to help a newborn get used to being outside the womb is to keep it on its mothers (or fathers) body with some kind of carrier. I think the sling is best, but other carriers can work as well. We have a nine month old child, and the sling has been the favorite piece of equipment. Not only does it keep her close and give her the comfort of our body warmth and heartbeat, but it also frees up our hands and lets us do things. If a baby is on its parent's body during much of the day and night, that should help the loud crying at night. There are lots of other ideas for helping with baby crying in "The Baby Book" by Sears and Sears. Our other favorite source of info. was the book "Our Babies, Ourselves" by Meredith Small. It provides cross-cultural comparisons on different aspects of parenting. Really well written and there is chapter specifically on sleep. Best of luck!

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