Naps for 2 & 3 Year Olds
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Feb 2009
Our now 2 year old has been a good sleeper since he was maybe 8-
9 months or so, same routine for night and nap, bedtime at 8,
nap at 2. He still is solid at night -- when he gets tired
after a few books he says ''I want to go in my crib'' etc. and
seems to have no problem with it. However, his naps have
become impossible, and quite suddenly -- doesn't seem as though
he is slowly not needing them anymore and they've been touch
and go for awhile. He usually naps 1.5-2 hours a day and
sleeps about 10-11 hours at night so I don't think it's an
issue of too much sleep and he's giving them up -- he's been
exhausted by 5:30 on days this is happening. He starts
screaming the minute I put him in the crib after a few books
(and he's generally not a big screamer) ''I don't want to sleep,
I want to get out, I want my mommy'' etc. etc. I've talked to
him about how important it is to rest, said he can just have
quiet time if he doesn't want to sleep but to no avail. We're
doing our same routine, snack, stories, same time, place et
all -- we always decide how many books and I let him
know ''after this book we're going to sleep''. I've heard 2 year
olds can become resistant but I don't know how to handle this.
I've let him cry and gone in every 10, then 15 then 20 etc. on
succeeding days, and it will seem to improve, but then regress
again. I'm just not sure how to handle it -- perservere and
hope it improves? I feel cruel to let him cry but he clearly
needs the sleep so not sure what the best route is to helping
him get it. Any input much appreciated.
Feeling like Mean Mommy
Oh, boy -- I have a 2.5 year old, and how I wish she would take a
nap! I don't know if 2 years olds are really swayed by your
logic that resting is important. I do think it would be pretty
frustrating to be stuck in a crib -- methinks your child would
soon try to get himself out of the crib, and that could be
dangerous. What we have is a very low-to-the-ground crib that
has one side missing; in other words, it's like a bed with three
sides on it. Our kid is free as a bird to get in and out
whenever she wants, and that seems to work pretty well -- really
limits frustration, I think. Yesterday, for example, she refused
to take a nap during the day, and fell asleep on the couch at
5:30, before dinner. Now this is not ideal, (especially since
she was up at 4:30 this morning), but I just take it as being
part of parenting -- she doesn't nap the same way she did six
months ago, and I feel like we're constantly adjusting our
expectations based on her sleep patterns, which keep changing:
but I think that's normal. The way I personally adjust is that
if she falls asleep at 530 pm, I go to bed a little earlier than
usual, so I am not so exhausted the next day. Is this catering
to my child? In a sense, yes, but first, parenting is one of the
inconvenient things I've ever done, so I think that inconvenience
and work are part of the deal. And second, what's the
alternative? Spend a few hours keeping an increasingly
hysterical and over-tired child awake? Please, I'm grateful for
the silence and peace!
kevin
I, too, had a very hard time letting my little girl cry alone in
her crib. And I came to the conclusion that for nighttime sleep,
it works but it doesn't for naps. What works for us is lying down
with her in our bed at nap time. She is 27 months old and she
naps about 2 hours every afternoon. Sometimes, she still resists
but we give her the choice of being in her crib by herself or
lying still and being quiet in our bed and that usually works.
TR
I also have a 2 year old. Like your son, she is a GREAT sleeper at night. However,
she went nearly a year where she would NOT take ANY naps at all!!!! And I'm all
about getting sufficient sleep so this was a very hard period for me...we tried
EVERYTHING! But finally we realized that she just didn't want to be in the crib for
naps. We have a papasan chair in the living room and started putting the cushion
on the floor in her room with a blanket to put her down for a nap. We do the same
routine: book, milk, cuddle, lay down. I thought she would NEVER stay down if she
wasn't in her crib but after walking her back to her room twice when she would
come out, she learned to put herself to sleep on the cushion. Now, when it is
naptime she loves helping me carry it to her room and has been consistently taking
2 hour naps for 3 months with this technique. It has not at ALL affected her night
time sleep or averted her from her crib at night (which I was afraid of). I also think
that it will help her transition to a toddler bed which we are ready to move on to
since we have another on the way. Best of luck to you and I know how awful it can
be when someone is so accustomed to naps and then they get difficult.
Naptime dependent mommy.
April 2008
I need advice! I'm loosing my mind! My 2.5 yr old daughter is
trasitioning to a toddler bed. (her crib just with the side
off). She has been doing so for about a month now. Bedtime is
no problem, she goes right to sleep. Nap time all she does is
play. She will play for hours...literally. I have tried
EVERYTHING. I have tried moving naptime, going in and saying
nothing, going in and telling her to get back in bed, going in
and yelling, I have tried not going into her room at all, I've
even tried bribing her. She will not go to sleep. I even
tried not giving her a nap, since she won't sleep anyway and it
does not work. She is exhausted by 5pm and with no nap will
not eat and will sleep horribly throughout the night. She will
wake up crying from being overtired, which she does not do when
she has adaquate rest. She has been an excellent sleeper since
about 1 year old when we moved her from our bed to her crib.
We only moved her out of her crib because she learned to crawl
out and I did not want her to fall. We tried a crib tent while
visiting out of town, but it does not fit on her crib at home.
I don't know what the right thing to do here is. I get
frustrated every day with the struggle or with the crankiness
of not having a nap! Please help!
Renee
This was our experience with our daughter around this age. I feel
for you because I know how frustrating this is. They need the
nap; they just refuse to take it. We continued to put our
daughter into her bed at nap time because we thought the down
time was good for her. For a while there, she napped very
infrequently, say once every week. Even so, we stuck with it and
she naps about half the time now (she's 3.5). I was ready to give
up the naps completely, but I'm glad we stuck with the routine.
Mama of an occasional napper
When my son was 3, he still needed a nap but didn't want to stay in his bed when at
home on weekends (he napped fine at preschool because everyone did it). It was
really important to me that he take one (and he ended up taking one until he was
four and a half!), so here is what I did:
My bedroom is quite dark. So, just after lunch, I took my son into my bed with me.
My son was pretty responsive to rules, so I told him the rule was he had to lie still,
right beside me, for 15 minutes. If he hadn't fallen asleep in that time, I would tell
him, and he could get up and play. I would then lie with him, very still and quiet,
and count slowly to 1000 (so I didn't have to keep moving and look at the clock).
95% of the time he was sound asleep well before I got to 1000. Once in a while I
was too. But he always slept soundly for a couple of hours, and the rest of the day
went much better!
Not the best option, perhaps. But naptime only lasts a couple of years. May seem
like a long time now -- but my son is 7 and napping is a distant memory...
Karen
Maybe she is giving up her nap. It isn't pretty when it happens
at that age, but it isn't abnormal. On days that she skips her
naps, can she sleep through the night or is she too tired to
sleep naturally? That should give you a cue...
-anon
This may be worth a try: Some time around that age, when naps
started getting more challenging, I started having a policy that
I would lie down for naps with my little one (if she has a
crib/toddler bed, this would obviously have to happen in your
bed). Laying down with my toddler would get him to relax and
snuggle and then he would often fall asleep in 5-10 minutes. We
also started listening to stories on CD: Doctor Seuss, Bill
Harley, Winnie the Pooh -- you can check them out at the library
or buy them on audible.com or itunes. I often took a short snooze
myself and then woke up and crept away. This was a nap-only deal,
as I *hated* laying down at bed time and had eliminated that
practice earlier. My little one was able to understand that there
was a difference between nap-time and bed-time, and though he
would sometimes ask for me to lie down at bedtime as well, I
would just say, ''No, I only do that for naps'' and he didn't
protest much. Good luck!
Love Naps
I think at this age they need 10 to 13 hours of sleep, so if
she is getting only 9 or 10 hours at night she may need 2 more
hours at naptime. When she gets a little older say 4 or 5 she
may be able to drop her nap go to bed at 7 to wake at 7(12
hours) I can't believe how many parents allow their kids to
stay up late after they've dropped their nap. Some are getting
only 9 hours at night and their parents wonder why they are
whining and crying every day.
Establish a short naptime routine at the same time everyday.
You could read one book after lunch or sing a quick lullabye.
Give her a lovey, put her in her bed, say goodnight and tell
her she must take a nap. Close the curtain to make it a little
darker. Now comes the fun part, this will be hard at first
since she is not used to this. You will have to keep putting
her in her bed everytime she gets out. Make sure you stay calm
on the outside(on the inside you will probably be ready to
scream) and calmly place her in her bed everytime she gets out.
You may have to do this at least 30 times the first day. She
will finally get that naptime is for sleeping. As long as she
knows you will never back down, she will give up and fall
asleep. Have a rule of no toys in the bed ever. She will fall
asleep if she is laying down and has nothing to do. Make sure
you don't talk to her much or give her any reinforcement for
getting up. The first time you can explain it, but after that
just say shhhh naptime and quietly walk away. If she continues
to get out, pick her up carry her back to bed and repeat
without having any conversation or hugs kisses atc.(you already
kissed her goodnight). This will be really stressful at first,
but usually they give up after the first or second day. She
will be happier that you are taking charge and helping her get
the rest she needs so all of you can enjoy your day. She will
probably test a few times after, just remember to be calm and
consistent. Good luck. It sometimes helps to count(in your
head) how many times she gets up, just so you can feel proud of
yoursef for sticking it out the first day 43 times. Reward
yourself after.
sleep is essential
Some ideas.
1/ Try earlier naptimes. If you get her at the right time, it
might work better. If she gets her second wind, it's harder to
get to sleep.
2/ Create a quiet time transition before bed, where the
activities are not exciting, but calming and relaxing. Even if
you decide to incorporate deep breathing and stretching with
her, that's fine. Books are another good one.
3/ Lay in bed with her. Hold her with your arm, in a cuddling
way that keeps her down. Not like a straitjacket. She shoudl be
able to fidget/move around/adjust her position, but not able to
sit up or get up. She will resist and complain, and be matter
of fact about it. Be firm and resolute with this plan. She will
flip out a little, but soon see that you mean business. (I will
stress again not to straitjacket her - that's terrifying. But
don't let her go just because she's upset and doesn't like it,
or screams.)
4/ Let her know it's quite alright if she cries, but right now
it's time to sleep. Rub back/stroke head. Sing songs,
especially ones you make up with lulling melodies and words
that include things that talk about resting our eyes/bodies,
going to sleep/pleasant dreams, and soon we'll play again. You
can tell her a couple times what you're doing, but beyond that,
no talking beyond hushing sounds, as that is encouraging
interaction.
My 2.5-year-old is pretty anti-nap, too, even though he still really needs the sleep
(when he doesn't rest, he's a massive meltdown waiting to happen by 5 pm). This
pattern began well before we moved him into his 'big boy bed' about 6 months ago,
and has only been an issue at nap time; bedtime is generally pretty easy. As a
result, we instituted a new rule several months ago that has worked out well: the
you-don't-have-to-sleep-but-you-have-to-rest rule. I figure, I can't make him
sleep, but I can help him have some down time. I tuck him into bed every day at
about the same time (1:00-ish) and he tries to sleep. If he can't (or won't) fall
asleep, he reads in bed, plays quietly with his animals, sings to himself (super cute),
etc. Basically, any quiet, chill activity is allowed, including getting out of bed and
playing on the floor, but he must stay in his room for 1.5 hours (about how long his
naps are, when they miraculously occur). He never cries or gets upset during this
time; I think he appreciates the quiet time as much as I do, and even on these 'rest
days' the 5 pm meltdown is usually avoided. (He does, however, still have to go to
bed about 45 minutes earlier on days when he just rests instead of naps - his little
body does still need the sleep, ultimately, and he always seems to conk right out.) In
addition to solving the whole nap dilemma, this new rule also has spared us the
sleep power struggles of yore. Hope it can restore some peace to your house as well!
Rested Mama
My 2 1/2 year old son is doing the same thing right now. He's
still in his crib which helps a lot. His brother tried to pull
the same thing at the same age. I did the same thing w/both of
them until we got over the hump and they knew we were serious.
For about a week w/the older one, I sat in his room and told
him to ''lay down'' and ''be quiet'' every time he popped up to
play. Finally he gave up and fell asleep. After that week,
all I had to do was threaten to sit there and he behaved. It
may sound like a hassle but was totally worth it. I would
definitely consider getting her back in her crib w/a tent if I
were you. The older one continued napping well up to age 4 so
I'm so glad I didn't give up. Also, I made sure he wasn't
overtired when I put him down as then he was really
impossible. Hang in there and good luck!
Been There Before and Right Now
March 2005
My daughter has always been a terrible napper. However, she will usually take a nap
for 45 minutes. Lately, whenever I (mommy) put her down, she screams and screams
and refuses to sleep. But, she falls asleep immediately whenever anyone else puts her
down. I make sure my routine with her for her nap is the same as what my nanny does
with her. This is very frusterating because when she doesn't nap, I wind up having to
put her to bed for the night super super early. Any advice??
Frusterated mom of an exhausted non-napper
It sounds like she just really wants to keep playing with Mommy!
Sorry that I don't have any advice
Kids love their Mommy!
You might consider replacing the nap with a quiet time in her room and
then putting her to bed super early. She may be starting to transition
out of her nap.
March 2005
Our son, almost 3, moved into a big boy bed a couple of months
ago. He goes to bed fairly easily at night but naps are another
story! We made the mistake initially of letting him play quietly
in his room until falling asleep - this lasted about 2 weeks
when we realized we needed to lie down with him and reinforce
staying in bed. We've now done this for about 6 weeks but it's
not getting any easier! Even after a half day at school then
winding down for a bit at home, he still wants to be up and
about when he should be resting. It's becoming a real battle for
my work at home husband and he's feeling frustrated. We've
thought of extending his day at school since the kids there seem
to sleep pretty well but see that as a last resort (can't afford
it right now). Any advice would be appreciated.
Lisa
My second child stopped napping at just about 2 1/2...we
struggled for about six weeks and then realized she was just
plain done with it. For the first six months, she would
occasionally still fall asleep in the car, etc. but generally
she was up and pretty happy. And she went to bed at 7:30 at
night! For the record my oldest took naps til he was solidly 4!
So could it be that your child is just not needing naps
anymore??? And by the way until she was 3, we did have her
spend ''quiet time'' for an hour in her room...and that seemed to
work okay...Good luck!
mom to a non-napper
We have had the same problem. I work from home and my daughter
has decided to not nap when she comes home from pre-school.
She is 2.5 and still needs a nap. I wasn't getting any work
done in the afternoons so we did add two days of naptime at
school. This has worked out very well for us. I now know that
I have two days a week where I have from 9-3:30 to work. On
the days she is home the napping is hit or miss. If she does
not fall asleep right away I know she won't go down. The other
thing we have started doing with some success is
instituting ''quiet time''. If she won't nap then she must stay
in her room and play quietly for an hour. It is not a perfect
solution but it is better than before.
Julie
Jan 2005
I need advice on todder g/g twins, 2 1/2 years old, and naps and
also bedtime. Sometimes they seem quite tired and don't nap.
Other times they may not need the nap but nap at daycare, or
don't nap at home. Days they nap, they take an hour to go to
sleep that night, fighting and yelling at each other in bed
until 10pm. They seem to wind each other up at naptime at home
too, keeping each other awake while in their cribs. Mom has
tried the following:
Mom ususally gets them out of the house all morning, until about
12:30 and then drives them home and waits for each to go to
sleep before putting them into bed. This works only if morning
activity lasts as late as 12:30 or one. Noon driving time does
not put girls to sleep and they don't go to sleep once home. IF
they do fall asleep they want to sleep for 2-3hours, waking as
late as 4. Attempts to wake them are met with much crying and
sometimes ongoing upset behavior lasting at least a half an
hour, much like a sick kid who wants to go back to bed.
If mom does not drive girls in the car, they do not nap at home
(mom is their primary caregiver). Lately much yelling and
sniping occurs in bed, and one twin very nearly ''flips her hair
like a teenager'' as she tells mom ''no'' it is ''wake up time.''
Both girls sleep 10 - 11 hours at night (nap or no nap). They
may not need more sleep than that, but if not, why are they
napping the two days at daycare? They do nap with other folks
they are not used to like grandma or a babysitter. Naps for dad
are hit and miss; half and half success. They nap about an hour
at their two days at daycare (we drop them off at naptime, 12:30
and the other kids are already asleep).
We'd love advice on twins and quiet time, both at naps and
bedtime. We believe the main problem is two year olds having
to live with a second two year old winding each other up. While
they may very well not need a nap some days, we assume they want
some sleep since they sleep at the two naptimes at daycare and
becuase they want to sleep so long at home once they go to
sleep. So far the way to keep then from sniping and yelling and
winding each other up is to sit in a rocker in their room, but
the time span for this is indefinate. An hour could go by with
Mom and still not sleeping kids.
We also need advice on waking up kids. Since our girls get up
around 7:30, a 2 1/2 hour nap at home results in a 10pm bedtime
(we put them into bed at 8:45) which is far beyone Mom's
powers.
Should we start getting them up earlier too? This has been our
recent strategy with little success as one girl gets up and the
second fights it and has a long, unhappy morning because she is
overtired (?). THANKS for your advice!!!!
Twin mom: the 2's and sleeping
Stop the naps! 2 1/2 year olds don't need naps. It plays havoc
with their bedtimes, and robs them of day-time play and
learning. Your girls only sleep at daycare because of peer
pressure. You may be amazed how easily your children go to
sleep at night, every night, once you stop the naps. The
afternoon peace the Mom enjoys will just be traded for peace
later in the evening, for both Mom and Dad to enjoy.
Joe
I also have twins, but went through this with my older daughter when she was
about the same age as your twins. For us, it turned out to mean she was
transitioning to not napping. I eventually decided not to ''force'' her to sleep,
which made some early evenings pretty miserable but at least she went to
bed earlier!
been there
While I don't have twins I do have a 4 and 2 year old. Most days the 2
year old doesn't nap - will play in her crib for an hour but not fall asleep.
On the rare occasion that she needs a nap it is isn't until about 2 in the
afternoon. The 4 year old doesn't nap either but does have an hour of
quiet time in her room every afternoon. The positive of all of this is that
both kids are asleep by 7:00...we start stories no later than 6:45. They
arise at 6:00, which is early for some families but works for us - more
time with Dad before he's off to work and a smooth exit for all of us to get
to preschool at 9:00.
I'd suggest reading Healthy Sleep Habbits, Happy Child. It is written by
a doctor of pediatric sleep disorders and is loaded with fascinating
information. I'm sorry I don't recall the author.
Best of luck
Hi, I don't have experience with twins but I have done lots of
research on babies and sleep. It sound like to me that your
twins definately need a nap and it has to be short. The main
problem is the late bedtime. I would, on days they don't nap,
try putting them to bed very early. Not getting enough rest at
night makes children overtired in the morning thus, making it
hard to fall asleep. I think a good bedtime for thier age is
between 6-7. Since they are really overtired the earlier the
better. If they wake up well rested, they can fall asleep for
a nap around 12 or 1 easier and the nap with automatically be
shorter and the bedtime earlier creating a healthy sleep
cycle. Try soothing them at six with a goal of sleep at
seven. I bet getting them to sleep at seven will be easier
then at 10. Some important things to remember for sleep times
is, get a nap and bedtime routine and start before they seem
really tired and cranky. When babies are cranky or rub their
eyes, they are overtired. Babies also respond well to routine
and consistancy, they like knowing what's coming. It really is
true that a well rested baby sleeps better though it seems
counterintuitive. Good Luck!
anon
My 2 1/2 year old twins have recently started ''winding each
other up'' at nap time as well. They talk, laugh, and jump (and,
before we moved the furniture, climed in and out of each others'
cribs) for about an hour before going to sleep. We just leave
them alone in there until they fall asleep. It means they fall
asleep later (about 3:00 instead of 2:00) and therefore wake up
later (sometimes as late as 6:00). On the plus side, it gives me
a bigger chunk of time to myself because there's an hour of crib
play before the nap. At night, they talk and play quite a bit
less, and sometimes go right to sleep without talking. I think
the fact that it's totally dark helps.
One thing I've known other parents of twins to try is separating
the two at naptime (either by rolling a crib out of the
children's bedroom or by putting one child to sleep in a
portable crib or parents' bed).
Another thing that may work is to let the children know that
even if they are not tired, that YOU need some quiet time and
that you expect them to stay in their beds until _______( a
timer goes off, a CD or cassette finishes playing,...). If
they're really tired, hopefully they'll eventually fall asleep
during that time period. If they don't, at least you had some
quiet time.
Like you, we end up with cranky children if we wake them from
late afternoon naps. So, unless we have somewhere we need to go,
or if they've had over 2 hours of sleep and it's as late as
7:00, we don't wake them. Once they get up, they generally have
a period of active play (so they get tired out again) before
going to sleep for the night at 9:00. Occasionally because of
the way our day goes, if they haven't had a nap by 4:00 or 4:30,
we just skip the nap and put them to bed about an hour earlier
than normal.
If your girls nap late and then aren't ready to go to sleep
until 10:00, is it still possible for you to put them in bed at
9:00 with the understanding that YOU need to sleep and they are
are welcome to talk, read, giggle, etc, but to stay in their
beds and leave you alone until morning?
Good luck!
--Julie
May 2004
Over the past 3 months, my 2-yr old has stopped taking a
nap. He used to nap between 12:30-1pm and wake up
around 3pm.
Now, he refuses to nap and most times, because he is
tired, falls asleep at 4pm. Then he wakes up at 6pm roaring
to go and stays up until 11:30pm.
We realize it's a developmental stage, but it's wearing us
down and it's not doing him much good either. We've tried
all calming bedtime and naptime routines. We've read up on
all the tricks---quiet time for 30 minutes, nothing seems to
work. We've even made sure his diet his free of sugars
(gummy treats, cookies, juice)during the day and night. Even
tried waking him up earlier and breaking this cycle. Nothing
works!
With a sleep schedule such as this, we often miss many of
his needed daytime activities which he needs to get out his
energy.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
lori
a non-napping two year old, my sympathies, you have. we had to
endure this as well, and finally found that the late afternoon
nap was not allowed - my child did have to build up stamina to
weather the stress of not napping when he really needed to, but
we pushed up bed time to 6:30 or 7. i kept my son awake by
bathing him when he began to get drowsy around 4 and gave him
dinner by 5 and distract, distract, distract until i was sure he
would go to bed. the other thing we did do, was to institute
quiet time with a timer - in his room or play area - building up
from 5 mins to 30 mins. this down time at the time of his former
nap, helped to restore him a bit and we got out and about to run
around a little more. hope you find something that works for you.
linda
April 2004
Help! My 2.5 year old is simply not napping for the past few
days. We do our usual pre-nap routine and he lies down in
his crib but after I leave he is up, singing, talking, jumping,
and simply doesn't settle himself down to nap as he always
has in the past. Could this just be a phase? He is definitely
tired and I think he's too young to stop napping!
Alma
My now almost-3 yo son did the exact same thing at when he was 2 1/2. My advice
to you is to hang in there.
My son wasn't ready to give up his naps either but for some reason started resisting
them last fall. He once went for an entire week without napping and I thought it was
really over then, but the fact that he was an utter basket case in the late afternoons
(and the fact that he collapsed in bed by 6:30) told me otherwise.
One thing that could help is to put your son down for his nap a little bit later. Move
the nap time back by 15 minutes and see what happens. It could be that he can go a
bit longer without napping and needs slightly less daytime sleep. My son will nap
more consistently these days if I put him down around 2 pm (back when he was 2 1/
2, his nap time was closer to 1 pm) and then I make sure he is up by 4 to protect his
bedtime. These days, he misses one nap about every ten days.
Another thing is to not let your son know if you are upset that he doesn't nap. Don't
yell, punish, nag, get mad, etc. If he knows he is pushing a sensitive button, he will
definitely continue.
Hope this helps. Good luck!
Been There
My daughter did the same at about 26 months. She just sang, jumped and talked for
the whole time she suppose to nap. I usually took her out of her crib after 1,5
hours. She did manage to take a nap every once in a while ( around once a week).
This whole phase lastet like about 1 months. I just sticked to the routine and now
we are back to normal. I know there are some 2 year olds who give up napping but I
could tell that my daughter still needed her nap. When she didn't nap she was
grouchy in the evening or even fell asleep at the dinner table. If your child is happy
all day and seem to be rested ( maybe he sleeps 12 hours straight at night ? ) than
he is maybe giving up his nap. I heard that 12 hours of sleep is the minimum for
that age. I would just stick to the routine and see if he goes back to normal.
I do have a different problem know. She wants to nap 3 hours or more. These
Toddlers change all the time.
Good Luck !
Alex
We just went through this! It was really frustrating. My son
is not ready to give up his nap and, frankly, I'm not ready
either! When we moved him from a crib to a bed, he did great
at first but after a few weeks he started really partying after
we left the room. One day I heard a really loud noise during
naptime and I went into his room. Although he jumped back in
bed when he heard me open the door, he was wearing sunglasses.
When I asked what was going on, he said ''Dancing, mama. A
whole lot of dancing.''
I think the big thing for him was realizing that he could get
out of bed and do whatever he wanted to do. So first we tried
to limit it: we put a gate on his door to keep him from running
into his brother's room and waking up the baby. We put hook-
style locks on his bathroom door (he's still in diapers) and
his closet door. What really did the trick, though, was
bringing a crib back into his room. We told him that if he got
out of bed, then we'd put him in the crib. He got out of bed a
few times and we put him in the crib (he hated it!). The drama
of it all seemed too much, so for about a week, we just ignored
the bed at nap time and put him in the crib. After that week,
we let him try the bed with the understanding that he'd go
right back in the crib if he got out of bed. One last thing.
We put some books on the nightstand and told him that he could
read quietly if he didn't want to sleep, but he could NOT get
out of bed until we came to get him.
I'm happy to report that he's stayed in his bed during nap and
at night for the past few weeks. Some days he just reads
quietly and some days he sleeps for almost 3 hours. Of course
I'm happiest when he actually sleeps, but the rest is good
downtime too. And at least the naptime partying has stopped
(for now.) Good luck to you. I know it is a tough stage!
Jen
My daughter went from taking a 3 hour nap a day to almost no
nap at 2.5 years old. I, too, knew she still needed a nap and
I tried everything I could to get her to nap including things I
was not too proud of such as losing my temper. I was really
going crazy at the thought of her naps ending, especially since
she really needed one and we all paid for it later in the day.
In the end, I had to accept that this was one thing I could not
control and tried to get her to stay quietly in her room, which
was not always possible. She did start going to bed a lot
earlier - like 7 o'clock which was some consolation. I did
find that when this first started she would go back to naps for
a few weeks then stop again. Now, a year later, she may do
quiet time for an hour or so, or not. And, every month or so
she will take a 2 1/2 hour nap. Even if she doesn't nap or do
quiet time, I have trained her to play on her own while I get
things done for awhile every afternoon which is much easier at
3 1/2 than at 2 1/2. The only thing that really helped me was
accepting that this break in my day was over and if I got more
than that it was only upside. One last thought, I found potty
training to be a similar challenge as only the child can
control it no matter how much I wanted to:) Good Luck!
Jenny
Feb 2004
As I write this, I am listening (via the monitor) to my 2.5 yo son sing and rattle
around in his crib during naptime for the third time this week. Undoubtedly, this will
all end with no nap and an early bedtime.
My son has always had very healthy sleep habits. He was always been a solid napper
and has slept through the night since he was 7-8 months old. We have nap/sleep
routines and he goes to sleep unassisted. I also have no doubt that he still NEEDS
his naps. Today, for example, he yawned about four times while we were going
through his pre-nap routine of reading books. And on the days when he misses his
naps, he is fast asleep by 6:30 or 7 pm (as opposed to 8:30 or 9 pm when he does
nap) and will sleep solidly until 7 the next morning.
There seems to be no rhyme or reason to his not napping -- whether he's been to
preschool that morning or not; whether he's had an especially active morning or
not; whether he's eaten a lot of lunch or not. He doesn't cry or scream, he justs
sings and plays (and yawns) and basically energizes himself up to the point where
he can't sleep.
I've tried carrots (''let's bake cookies when you wake up from your nap'') and sticks
(''okay, we're not baking cookies anymore'') to no avail. I'm also trying not to make
too big of a deal about it with him, since he seems to know what pushes my
buttons.
Has anyone successfully gotten their preschooler to consistently settle down to take
the naps he/she so desperately needs? I can't -- nor do I want to -- lie down with
him (this would only energize him) since he still sleeps in a crib. Any success stories
(and strategies/techniques) would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Rockridge mom
You're lucky your son sleeps well and doesn't mind just hanging
out in the crib at ''naptime.'' Mine will flip out if we put her
in the crib at ''naptime'' even if she's tired, but she will nap
if she's tired enough and we put her on our bed or on blankets
on the floor --but not for long. And if we move her after she's
fallen asleep in the car, the nap is OVER for the day. But she
sleeps great at nite.
My son, now 9, had completely given up naps by the time he was
your child's age. If he took a nap, it was impossible to get him
to sleep before 11 or 12 at night. The good news is that lots of
bright kids are not great sleepers. It sound like your child is
just past napping. The solution I used was to insist on a fairly
quiet time - since you have success with a crib, which we did
not, you could use that, and just let him play quietly there. Or
choose some snuggle, or soft music, time, with very limited
stimulation. Their little nervous systems get overloaded with
all the new information they're trying to digest, and they need a
little time out, but struggling with forcing sleep becomes more
stressful than just riding the horse in the direction it's going,
I've found.
k
Sounds like you're at the transition phase between napping and
not napping. Does it work for you and your schedule to let her
skip the nap, and just go to bed earlier? Is she still happy
and functional in the late afternoon if she doesn't nap? If
so, you may just want to accept that her sleep pattern is (once
again) changing. Another option might be a later nap, but that
might mean a later bed time, too. Does this work better for
you? Think about what you - and she - really need, and there's
probably more than one way to get it!
R.K.
Sept 2003
My 26 month old twin girls nap OK at daycare (according to their
teachers) but on weekends, at least one out of two days, they
fool around, jump up and down in their cribs, take off their
clothes, scream, etc. for hours until they finally fall asleep
(usually for two hours at least). This throws off the rest of
the day-- by now it's five or after, way too late to be sleeping.
I have tried going without a nap and that's not an option, they
go berserk by bedtime. I spend lots of time with them on
weekends, as well as a.m. & p.m.during the week, as does their
father. They go to sleep around 8:30 without fuss.Any
suggestions?
Maria
As a parent of 31 month old twins, I certainly understand your
dilema. Here's what we do to get our twins to nap during the
day when they are not in preschool: we make sure they are up by
6:30 am (they normally wake up at this time or earlier); around
10 am we take them out for a walk or to the playground and do
this activity for at least an hour - the idea is for them to get
some exercise so as to tire them out somewhat; we'll put them
down for a nap around 12:30 (give or take a half hour depending
on how they are doing); they'll usually spend a half hour
talking but then fall asleep for 1 1/2 - 2 hours. If one of
them is really not sleepy, we'll keep them up and put them down
later for a one hour nap at the most since a longer nap will
interfere with their bedtime. We have also placed curtains in
their bedroom that have a blackout liner so that the room is
somewhat dark for nap time.
Anon
June 2003
Several times in the past 2-3 weeks, our 2-year-old son has
stripped off all of his clothes, including his diaper, during
his naptime. Even if he was tired to begin with, this new
routine seems to give him in a whole new dose of energy, to the
point where he pees in his crib, climbs out, pees in his room
and wants to play. His nap is pretty much shot.
Up until this point, he has been an incredibly solid napper,
typically napping between 2 and 3 hours a day. I don't think
that he is anywhere near ready to give up his nap yet -- on
these rare (but now becoming more common) occasions when he
doesn't nap, he is flailing mess for the rest of the afternoon,
and will collapse for the night well before 6 pm.
Have other parents dealt with this situation? What was the
resolution? Is this a passing phase?
Frustrated Mom
Why don't you put a diaper on after he falls asleep for the nap -
that shouldn't be too hard since he is totally naked. This
would prevent him waking up from the mess and ending the nap
early.
Anon
When we had a similar problem with my daughter stripping at
bedtime, we put her PJs on backwards so she couldn't reach the
snaps. On cooler nights, we zipped her into a sleep sack (the
zipper on ours opens from the bottom -- smart designer) and that
worked too.
I'm happy to report that she grew out of it, and I seem to
remember it was a pretty short phase.
Jennifer M.
When my son was about 18 mos he started doing the same thing when
he first awoke in the morning or at nap. If I didn't get in
there before he woke up, he'd strip down and take off his diaper
and - gulp - begin playing with its contents. For about 6 months
I used to put masking tape around his nap and night time diaper--
many layers, which he couldn't undo. He finally lost interest
and the phase passed. This doesn't solve the wake-up problem,
but may make it a little less messy.
Susan
Our son went through the same stage for a couple of weeks when
he turned two. Our solution was to dress him in overalls for
his naps. Simple but seemed to work for us.
Patty
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