Berkeley Parents Network: Monsters

Berkeley Parents Network

Monsters

Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Sleep > Fears > Monsters

1997

My (almost) 3-year old has recently developed a fear of monsters in his room at night, and is waking up several times needed to be comforted. I would be grateful for any tips from parents who have dealt with this, or an suggestions of good books that offer advice on this particular issue Thanks. Gail

Here's a technique I used with my sons when they went through the night monster stage. I got one of those spray bottles (like the kind you use to mist your plants), and put a small amount of water and perfume in it. My son and I then used the spray bottle to spritz those monsters in the corners, behind the closet door, under the bed, etc. every night before bed. The perfume in the bottle gave off just enough fragrance to make the spraying noticeable and even after the water had been used up, the air that came out of the nozzle carried some fragrance. We went through this nightly ritual for a few weeks or until my son felt that the monsters couldn't possibly be there any more (they had been spritzed into oblivion!). Both my sons (who are 8 and 1/2 years apart) responded well to this way of dealing with the monster invasion. Happy hunting! Tamra

I told him sternly "No monsters allowed in the house!" A 3-year-old can understand this because there are other things that aren't allowed in the house too (like throwing balls.) I used anti-monster spray too, like Tamra. Another parent I know whose child was afraid of monsters coming out of the toilet, put "monster poison" in all the toilets (food coloring). Another thing I did was to assure my son that I would come at once if he called me during the night. This worked for me when I was little too - I was afraid of ghosts. Even though it seems understood that you'll go to your child if they call, it seems they like to be reassured of this. Ginger

In response to the parent with the night monster: My daughter at about age 3 began to fear monsters. I discussed this with my pediatrician who recommended "There Used to Be a Nightmare In My Closet" by Mercer Mayer. She LOVED this book, and literally memorized it cover to cover. Not only did it scare away her monsters, but she has a great love of books and reading. She is now 12, and still loves this book. I would recommend it highly. Sherry

Hi, about fear of monsters at night: Try giving your child a small flashlight, so he can see for himself that there are no monsters. The only reason I didn't do this when my daughter said there were monsters in her room is because she would have just unscrewed the flashlight and removed the batteries to play with, probably delaying her sleep as long as any fear of monsters would have done. But not all kids do that kind of thing. I just read an article (Scholastic Magazine, I think) about this, and it's also important to acknowledge the fear; especially near Halloween, I guess kids have lots of dreams about monsters, etc. Probably you'd do better to discourage any scary Halloween costumes this year. Good luck! Nancy

This is for the parent who wondered what to do for her child who had developed a fear of monsters. If you are a religious family, or belong to a particular religious faith, you could give your child a religious item or hang a religious symbol or icon on the wall of your child's room. If you are not religious, feel free to ignore the rest of this message.

About a year ago my daughter started have nightmares. I gave her a rosary to put under her pillow (which was the same thing that my mother had done for me when I was a young boy having nightmares). I explained to my daughter that there was no such thing as monsters per se, but that anything that was "bad" would be afraid of something that represents the power of God (getting that concept across to a 4 year old was a challenge, but that's a whole other series of discussions). In any event, it worked. My daughter stopped having nightmares. Of course, now she won't go to bed unless her rosary is underneath her pillow, but it's a tradeoff that I can live with.

If you are not Catholic then you will want to use something other than a rosary, but almost every faith has some kind of holy symbol that is used to represent the power of God. Another advantage to come out of this whole episode was that it helped me teach my daughter that good is stronger that evil.

If you try it, please let me know how it works. Bob

From my childhood, my mom would "pretend call" the zoo (on my play phone) each night to make sure all the tigers were in their cages. This seemed to reassure me and I slept through the night. Some books advise not indulging the child's fantasy. It might work better, if you son is convinced that monsters exist, to ask him who would know if the monsters were all in bed for the night (or locked in their cages etc). Then to "call"them and get reassurance. Good Luck. Karen

Re monsters and three year olds: My son is the same age. Whenever a different fear has come up, starting with fear of goats (because of the aggressive one at the Little Farm), spiders, monsters, ghosts, I always tell him that I checked his room first (I do, for spiders), and that there are none there.

Then, per my daycare provider's tip, I never mention them, deal with them seriously on the spot, but don't make a big deal of it, etc.

Recently when he went to bed, he called me in and asked me to take down his beloved plaster seagull mobile, AND to turn over his lamb blanket to the plain side, as the lamb's big black eye was frightening him.

These fears seldom come up, seldom recur, and by asking him in the mornings if he has good dreams, I've sort of inclined him in a direction away from bad dreams. But it's good to know if there's a bad dream, then I comfort him and cuddle him (even) more.

As far as any night waking: I think it's best to come in, don;t take child out of crib, privide reassurance, and leave, telling them it's the middle of the night and go back to sleep.

Hope this helps. Wendy

My husband's mother gave him a bell which he could ring if he had a problem. This would help both to scare away the monster and to call her. He doesn't ever remember using it, but now we use it as our dinner bell. Barbara

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